Permission
Title: Permission
'Verse: The Effect
Pairing: features Ethan and Graham, with mentions of Graham/Elijah and potential Ethan/Dan
Rating: slash - implied (for discussion of relationships)
Author's Note: I was originally going to write something completely different, but this came out instead. It's an important piece, so I'm glad I wrote it. This takes place after Philosophical and Patience, though it is not part of the Virtues and Vices series.
Graham, Dan, and Chris belong to me, Ethan and Elijah belong to guiltycross.
Ethan paced his study for half an hour, back and forth, the wheels in his head whirling, trying to decide the best course of action. He couldn't seem to come up with one. That alone almost made him back out. Then he thought of Dan's smile, his easy laughter. It helped to screw his courage.
He found Graham in the study nook, his head bent over a textbook, frowning as he attempted to absorb the information from it. Graham was not a remarkable student, his intelligence was average. He had to work hard for his grades, but he was determined to do well in university. Ethan admired his diligence.
Though he hated to interrupt his studies, Ethan felt it was now or never. "Graham?" He waited until he had the boy's attention. "Could I have a word with you, per favore?"
Graham looked slightly confused. He rose from his seat, nodding. "Of course." He followed Ethan back to his study, sitting down on the small sofa when Ethan gestured for him to do so. Ethan sat next to him.
"I didn't tell you this before, but Dan came over here the other day," Ethan began tensely.
"He did?" Graham asked curiously. "What did he want?"
"To keep me company. Evidently, you had told him I was spending Valentine's alone. He brought over movies to watch." Ethan looked at Graham, gauging his reaction.
Graham smiled obliviously. "How nice of him. Did you have fun?"
Ethan flushed faintly. "Yes, we did. Graham, I would like to spend more time with him," he said, choosing his words carefully. "Would you be okay with that?"
The boy tilted his head, bewildered. "Do you need my permission?"
He nodded fervently. "I feel that I do."
And that was when it clicked. Graham's eyes widened briefly, and he bit his lip. "Oh. You mean you want to date him," he said quietly. "Right?"
Ethan let out a soft little sigh. "I'm not sure. I think I do. I want to spend more time getting to know him. I haven't decided if a relationship is what I need at this point."
Graham was silent for a long time. Ethan was almost afraid he was going to tell him no, and he hoped he could respect the boy's wishes. No, he knew he could. He would just be extremely disappointed.
"It's strange," he began quietly. "You and Dan are the two men I respect the most." He looked up, suddenly alarmed. "Don't tell Chris that." Ethan managed an amused smile, and Graham smiled back. "I think I would like it if you two were together," he added thoughtfully. "I think you two would make each other happy."
Ethan felt a lump rise in his throat. "Graham, you mean it?"
He hugged him. "Of course I do."
"Then…" he began tentatively, knowing it was a touchy subject, but feeling that he had to ask, nevertheless. "You forgive me… for…"
Graham sighed. He looked a little strained. "There's nothing to forgive, Ethan. You were kind to me. I… I saw it in another way. I should be thanking you, actually." He looked up at him with soft eyes. "You never took advantage of it. Of me. I can't even begin to thank you for everything you've done for me. You gave me a job, a home, a chance to go to school. You gave me a second chance at life. And I understand why you weren't interested in me," he continued. "I'm too young for you. I didn't want to see it before. But emotionally… I could never give you what you need, and you couldn't give me what I need either."
Ethan gazed at him, marveling at how this boy had suddenly turned into a young man. When had he grown up? "Graham…." He reached out, cupping his face in his hands and kissing both his cheeks. "Thank you. I care so much for your happiness. I never wanted to see you hurt."
Graham smiled up at him, his hands coming up to cover Ethan's. "I know. And I can't say that it never did hurt. It stung. I felt like I was being rejected. But I know now that wasn't the case." He turned his head away, breaking contact. "Anyway," he added blushingly. "I've been seeing Elijah now."
"Yes." Ethan smiled at him, a little proud. It had been clear from the first time that he had seen Graham with the blonde dancer that Graham had a crush on him. He was glad their relationship was finally progressing. "I'm very happy for you."
"So, you can call Dan and tell him that you would love to go out with him," Graham said cheerily.
Ethan shook his head. "I don't think I would go quite that far that quickly. He and I are both busy men. It might not work out between us. I plan to take it very slowly. I like him, and I don't want to ruin it."
"You wouldn't," Graham told him encouragingly. "Don't be so hard on yourself." He paused, nibbling on his lower lip. "So… do you want to tell Chris that Dan's no longer available, or should I?"
Ethan laughed. "I think I'll let you do the honors."
He wrinkled his nose. A boy again. "Gee, thanks." He hugged him again swiftly. "I'm going to go back to my homework now. Thanks, Ethan. For talking to me about this. I appreciate that you thought to include me."
"Of course," Ethan said, standing up to open the door for him. "And Graham." He placed a hand on his shoulder. "If at any time this bothers you, please come to immediately. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."
"It won't bother me," Graham promised him. "But if it does, I'll let you know." He smiled, and left.
Ethan closed the door, moved over to his desk, and sighed deeply as he sat down. A smile spread across his face. It had gone better than he had hoped for. In fact, it had gone perfectly. He would have to think of something special to do for Graham later. Dan had been right after all. The boy was incredibly understanding.
He picked up his phone and quickly scrolled through his contacts before finding Dan's name. He hit the 'send' button and placed the phone to his ear. He had a sudden urge to go out for coffee. Perhaps Dan would indulge him.
'Verse: The Effect
Pairing: features Ethan and Graham, with mentions of Graham/Elijah and potential Ethan/Dan
Rating: slash - implied (for discussion of relationships)
Author's Note: I was originally going to write something completely different, but this came out instead. It's an important piece, so I'm glad I wrote it. This takes place after Philosophical and Patience, though it is not part of the Virtues and Vices series.
Graham, Dan, and Chris belong to me, Ethan and Elijah belong to guiltycross.
Ethan paced his study for half an hour, back and forth, the wheels in his head whirling, trying to decide the best course of action. He couldn't seem to come up with one. That alone almost made him back out. Then he thought of Dan's smile, his easy laughter. It helped to screw his courage.
He found Graham in the study nook, his head bent over a textbook, frowning as he attempted to absorb the information from it. Graham was not a remarkable student, his intelligence was average. He had to work hard for his grades, but he was determined to do well in university. Ethan admired his diligence.
Though he hated to interrupt his studies, Ethan felt it was now or never. "Graham?" He waited until he had the boy's attention. "Could I have a word with you, per favore?"
Graham looked slightly confused. He rose from his seat, nodding. "Of course." He followed Ethan back to his study, sitting down on the small sofa when Ethan gestured for him to do so. Ethan sat next to him.
"I didn't tell you this before, but Dan came over here the other day," Ethan began tensely.
"He did?" Graham asked curiously. "What did he want?"
"To keep me company. Evidently, you had told him I was spending Valentine's alone. He brought over movies to watch." Ethan looked at Graham, gauging his reaction.
Graham smiled obliviously. "How nice of him. Did you have fun?"
Ethan flushed faintly. "Yes, we did. Graham, I would like to spend more time with him," he said, choosing his words carefully. "Would you be okay with that?"
The boy tilted his head, bewildered. "Do you need my permission?"
He nodded fervently. "I feel that I do."
And that was when it clicked. Graham's eyes widened briefly, and he bit his lip. "Oh. You mean you want to date him," he said quietly. "Right?"
Ethan let out a soft little sigh. "I'm not sure. I think I do. I want to spend more time getting to know him. I haven't decided if a relationship is what I need at this point."
Graham was silent for a long time. Ethan was almost afraid he was going to tell him no, and he hoped he could respect the boy's wishes. No, he knew he could. He would just be extremely disappointed.
"It's strange," he began quietly. "You and Dan are the two men I respect the most." He looked up, suddenly alarmed. "Don't tell Chris that." Ethan managed an amused smile, and Graham smiled back. "I think I would like it if you two were together," he added thoughtfully. "I think you two would make each other happy."
Ethan felt a lump rise in his throat. "Graham, you mean it?"
He hugged him. "Of course I do."
"Then…" he began tentatively, knowing it was a touchy subject, but feeling that he had to ask, nevertheless. "You forgive me… for…"
Graham sighed. He looked a little strained. "There's nothing to forgive, Ethan. You were kind to me. I… I saw it in another way. I should be thanking you, actually." He looked up at him with soft eyes. "You never took advantage of it. Of me. I can't even begin to thank you for everything you've done for me. You gave me a job, a home, a chance to go to school. You gave me a second chance at life. And I understand why you weren't interested in me," he continued. "I'm too young for you. I didn't want to see it before. But emotionally… I could never give you what you need, and you couldn't give me what I need either."
Ethan gazed at him, marveling at how this boy had suddenly turned into a young man. When had he grown up? "Graham…." He reached out, cupping his face in his hands and kissing both his cheeks. "Thank you. I care so much for your happiness. I never wanted to see you hurt."
Graham smiled up at him, his hands coming up to cover Ethan's. "I know. And I can't say that it never did hurt. It stung. I felt like I was being rejected. But I know now that wasn't the case." He turned his head away, breaking contact. "Anyway," he added blushingly. "I've been seeing Elijah now."
"Yes." Ethan smiled at him, a little proud. It had been clear from the first time that he had seen Graham with the blonde dancer that Graham had a crush on him. He was glad their relationship was finally progressing. "I'm very happy for you."
"So, you can call Dan and tell him that you would love to go out with him," Graham said cheerily.
Ethan shook his head. "I don't think I would go quite that far that quickly. He and I are both busy men. It might not work out between us. I plan to take it very slowly. I like him, and I don't want to ruin it."
"You wouldn't," Graham told him encouragingly. "Don't be so hard on yourself." He paused, nibbling on his lower lip. "So… do you want to tell Chris that Dan's no longer available, or should I?"
Ethan laughed. "I think I'll let you do the honors."
He wrinkled his nose. A boy again. "Gee, thanks." He hugged him again swiftly. "I'm going to go back to my homework now. Thanks, Ethan. For talking to me about this. I appreciate that you thought to include me."
"Of course," Ethan said, standing up to open the door for him. "And Graham." He placed a hand on his shoulder. "If at any time this bothers you, please come to immediately. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."
"It won't bother me," Graham promised him. "But if it does, I'll let you know." He smiled, and left.
Ethan closed the door, moved over to his desk, and sighed deeply as he sat down. A smile spread across his face. It had gone better than he had hoped for. In fact, it had gone perfectly. He would have to think of something special to do for Graham later. Dan had been right after all. The boy was incredibly understanding.
He picked up his phone and quickly scrolled through his contacts before finding Dan's name. He hit the 'send' button and placed the phone to his ear. He had a sudden urge to go out for coffee. Perhaps Dan would indulge him.