(no subject)
so before work i went school shopping for notebooks and all those goodies just to spend money really cause i had a rough night.. i just couldnt sleep i had too much on my mind.. and normally i get really insecure about relationships around this time.. but im not really worried about getting hurt by kyle or anything i decided last night.. its more that im scared that im getting too attached and i still want my own life-- and once you get attached you get hurt by dumb shit so i need to back off for the next few days.. just for myself really.. anyways i didnt fall asleep till like 5ish this morning.. i know that pretty crazy then i woke up at 9 this morning and couldnt fall back asleep.. then i went to work around 11ish and it was so ugh.. i went in and was next to lorna and omg i just wanted to punch her she was like screaming in my ear and telling me things i already knew and then she started like telling me the same thing i already knew over and over.. and i just wanted to be like lorna SHUT THE FUCK UP!! -- but i contained myself and had jason put me on break after an hour of being there if that.. and then i went to subway and the whole reason i go there is for their chocolate chip cookies that are absolutely grand.. and they were all out-- and then i went to blockbuster to see when THE PERFECT MAN is going to be out cause im dying to see it since i missed it in theaters :0( and it wasnt even in the computers therefore it isnt going to be out on video for like forever.. and so i went back to work and bob came in and was in a bad mood and was on my ass like no other-- we like messed up this guys order and then he asked for sauce and i gave it to him and bobs like what are you doing!? he has to pay.. im like bob we messed up his order im not making him pay for the sauce.. thats an 'im sorry' and bob is like he has to pay-- and i like gave the guy the right thing and was like have a nice day and let him drive away.. and bob was so mad but like wtf.. then this girl a couple cars back asked for salt and i was like bob should they pay for the friggin salt too!?-- and i was nice about it even tho i was just being a smart ass but he wouldnt stop being on my back.. and then when i had no orders i walked to the back crew room to have a sip of my drink and bob marches back there and is like get up there you have to tell me.. im like you watched me walk back here but alright sorry ((and we had no orders)) and hes like stock up your station and so i start and im like anything else?-- hes like yeah go home!.. im like why i didnt do anything.. and i knew i didnt have to go home esp. cause i seriously didnt do anything.. but hes so gay and i didnt want to be there with his shitty attitude and then my dad picked me up and we got in an enormous fight and ugh i am so mad at him-- he cant just be bi polar and flip out on me everyday and expect me to just take it over and over again.. and he called me basically every name possible.. and hes just such a dick for real-- he was like you are nothing but a fucking tramp who is going no where and your going to be just like your stupid whore of a mother.. and he went on and on.. im like yeah im going to be fucking nothing since i am the child getting all Es on my fucking report card and im not spending half of my fucking pay check on school supplies, right!?--- god all of his points are just so wrong.. and hes dumb hes a fucking child about everything and if he has a bad day or is bored he just freaks out and bitches and im sick of having to deal with it everyday cause my brothers can just drive away and stick up for themselves but i just have to sit there and deal with it.. and then hes like get the fuck out of my house, move the fuck out i dont fucking want you.. im like i fucking tried if you dont remember and you had me arrested and i had to deal with social services not you-- im done dealing with your shit and im done paying for your dumb ass decisions.. nd then things got way out of hand and dirty.. -- but bottom line is we arent on talking circumstances.. -- i know i have to deal with it cause i cant leave or he will call the police.. and i cant stick up for myself cause i end up having to pay for it.. but i really cant handle his shit anymore--