The thing I hate most
The thing I hate most is people who won't take control of their lives. The thing I hate most is parents who won't recognize that a sixteen year old who's still letting them make all the decisions is headed for trouble. The thing I hate most is parents who put their children down instead of lifting them up. The thing I hate most are the inferiority complexes that come of that. The reason that their children will be utterly confused when they're finally shoved out of that abusive household, and so they will gravitate towards people who will take control of them and abuse them further.
The thing I hate most is being friends with those people, and seeing them refuse to admit that they hurt and that they need help, because that's the way it's always been, or they've done fine up until this point. I hate being smart enough to see the road they're headed down, and them refusing to see it until it's too late.
I hate loving you guys enough to care, enough that I don't want to see you hurt anymore; I hate that you ignore the warning signs I clearly see, because you're so used to thinking of yourself as something to be stepped on that you can't see things any other way. I hate so much that you refuse to LISTEN. I understand that you don't want to seek help for yourselves, but I'm trying to give it anyway and you still won't take it. How frustrating do you think that is for me, as a friend?
I hate my own inability to show how much I care; to recognize how much I care; until I manage to fuck things up. The thing I hate most is my own inability to express; my own inability to follow my head before my heart. The thing I hate most is that none of you can look deep enough to see what drives my explosions; why I get so frustrated, so angry, with you. The thing I hate most is that I can see all your flaws so clearly, but I can't grasp any of my own. The thing I hate most is how you refuse to see them, or worse yet, see them and refuse to do anything about them. The thing I hate most is the knowledge of how the world works, the knowledge that you are going to continue the cycle of passive abuse, and that unlike my determination to not follow in my parents' footsteps, the knowledge that you don't have the will to fight it and are just going to go willingly and continue the cycle.
The thing I hate most is speaking and not having you hear what I'm trying to say.
So next time, please listen.
The thing I hate most is being friends with those people, and seeing them refuse to admit that they hurt and that they need help, because that's the way it's always been, or they've done fine up until this point. I hate being smart enough to see the road they're headed down, and them refusing to see it until it's too late.
I hate loving you guys enough to care, enough that I don't want to see you hurt anymore; I hate that you ignore the warning signs I clearly see, because you're so used to thinking of yourself as something to be stepped on that you can't see things any other way. I hate so much that you refuse to LISTEN. I understand that you don't want to seek help for yourselves, but I'm trying to give it anyway and you still won't take it. How frustrating do you think that is for me, as a friend?
I hate my own inability to show how much I care; to recognize how much I care; until I manage to fuck things up. The thing I hate most is my own inability to express; my own inability to follow my head before my heart. The thing I hate most is that none of you can look deep enough to see what drives my explosions; why I get so frustrated, so angry, with you. The thing I hate most is that I can see all your flaws so clearly, but I can't grasp any of my own. The thing I hate most is how you refuse to see them, or worse yet, see them and refuse to do anything about them. The thing I hate most is the knowledge of how the world works, the knowledge that you are going to continue the cycle of passive abuse, and that unlike my determination to not follow in my parents' footsteps, the knowledge that you don't have the will to fight it and are just going to go willingly and continue the cycle.
The thing I hate most is speaking and not having you hear what I'm trying to say.
So next time, please listen.