I am very grumpy lately at work. We are very busy, and really not prepared for it. Things keep fucking up with one of our new clients, and it feels like we don't know what we don't know, which frustrates us at every turn when even our best intentions end up getting railroaded.
Frustration.
Home life is completely uneventful. I'd go so far as to say pretty shitty. I don't really do anything or go out much. Occasionally hang out with my workmate Adam when he isn't driving me too insane. Weekdays I get home around 7 and just lay around the house, nerding out on the computer or something like that. Weekends I venture down into the city and wander around alone, or just lay in bed till 3pm.
Love life is non-existent (I suppose I'm used to that by now). I work with some very outgoing, and confident people, of which I am neither. Zac is some huge ex rugby player from Australia, so he has nothing to worry about. Adam dates another girl every week, treats them like shit, and still they flock to him. Constantly bragging about all the girls he's sleeping with from clicktonight.com, some shitty dating site where you just post pics of yourself, no profile or comments, just the details. Even managed to convince me to sign up, but I never really used it. Managed to get me to give him my password so he's like a dating-agent. Funny, he says I'm not getting any messages, I wonder why? I hate internet dating sites, it's so fucking demeaning.
I'm trying to convince myself that all will change when we move to Cardiff, but nobody seems to have any idea when that will be. Should have heard last summer, then should have heard in September, now we might get an answer by December.
I have actually been trading huge long e-mails with a girl who lives just outside of Cardiff, something might come from that I suppose, more than likely I'll just try to push her away like I do most people.
You know when you think in your head it sometimes feels like you're talking to someone, usually it seems to be with someone important in your life, your best friend, etc. Those people with whom you feel the most comfortable around and can confide in, like you're practising the conversation you're going to have with them. There is no other person in my head anymore, it's just me speaking in an empty room.
This is really hard.
-Guy
P.S. On a side note, work might be taking us somewhere exciting for Christmas, like Dublin, Paris, Amsterdam, etc. That'd be cool. But instantly all I think is if my stomach will act up when we're travelling.