Man oh man...
Once again I find myself wishing things were the way before.
Once again I wish I hadn't crossed the little flirty line between friendship and more.
Once again I wish I had said everything I had wanted to say.
Except this time I feel hurt without having even invested anything. Impossible.
But I can't change anything, and I crossed the casual friend line because honestly, there WAS something there. And he can stop looking all confused because I'm not the only one who sees it. He knows how he felt and knows who know/knew, even if he doesn't feel it anymore (mutual friends, anyone?). I'm tired of games.
I know now it would be too stressful to be together, anyway. I know he and L have more in common. They're a year younger, from the same state, are going into medical fields, think sex is "icky", innocent as they look...
Me: Almost 20, New York city bred (but with an inborn Southern charm thanks to dad), would fail miserably at medicine so take on an American Studies degree instead since I can't even decide between english, art, art history, or...anything really, like the bare grass on my feet. I don't have sex but think it's beautiful and certainly don't call people who have it "loose". Even though clearly STDs are bad lol.
We're so different.
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I'm even sorrier I let you hurt me.
Once again I wish I hadn't crossed the little flirty line between friendship and more.
Once again I wish I had said everything I had wanted to say.
Except this time I feel hurt without having even invested anything. Impossible.
But I can't change anything, and I crossed the casual friend line because honestly, there WAS something there. And he can stop looking all confused because I'm not the only one who sees it. He knows how he felt and knows who know/knew, even if he doesn't feel it anymore (mutual friends, anyone?). I'm tired of games.
I know now it would be too stressful to be together, anyway. I know he and L have more in common. They're a year younger, from the same state, are going into medical fields, think sex is "icky", innocent as they look...
Me: Almost 20, New York city bred (but with an inborn Southern charm thanks to dad), would fail miserably at medicine so take on an American Studies degree instead since I can't even decide between english, art, art history, or...anything really, like the bare grass on my feet. I don't have sex but think it's beautiful and certainly don't call people who have it "loose". Even though clearly STDs are bad lol.
We're so different.
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I'm even sorrier I let you hurt me.