Manliness in a bowl!
After hearing Kwok's mad story about Bario ramen, I had to try it for myself before the voices in my head overwhelmed me. Now, Bario ramen differs from your typical japanese springy goodness in a couple of ways.
Firstly, the kanji for this particular dish includes "男", or "Man", as part of its name. I do not deny there is a part of me that fantasizes about gaining instant manliness from consuming a bowl of ramen, impossible as that may be.
Secondly, the moment you step in front of the counter, a challenge is issued to you. A challenge! By ramen! Great Scott! A large signboard dictates that should you choose to add a spoonful of garlic and chili to your ramen, you would have earned the rank of "Nice guy". If you added two spoonfuls of the beautiful poison to your bowl, people on the streets would know you as the "SUPER Nice guy". But three's the charm! Add three spoonfuls of raw chopped garlic and ruby red chili flakes into your ramen and the world will hail you as "BARIO"!
BARIO. Say it with a gutteral growl at the last syllable. The true, unadulterated essence of manliness. Potent, virile and radiating in every single manly stereotype you can think of.
Of course, I added four spoonfuls of everything. In front of the counter staff. I swore that space and time warped gently around my bowl. After I sat down at the table, I couldn't really remember what happened next. You don't eat ramen that's this momentous, it eats YOU. I likened the experience to snorting coke (not that I would know), if coke was hot, salty and had a tyrannosaurus bite.
Before I left Iluma, I posed a bit in front of the toilet mirror, and was disappointed to learn that I had not become any manlier, in girth, stature or bearing. I had, however, eaten a damn fucking good bowl of ramen.
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