The Furtive Pygmy

[nagisasrebirth]

I'm slowly killing myself and nobody even notices. They pitch in to be honest. I have been through a lifetime these past few years. I lost a family. I do a lot of losing it seems. I lost weight, I guess that is a good thing as I do not feel like a COMPLETE fat useless cuck. Been drowning myself in things that keep my mind off how worthless everything seems. I honestly do not know what is going to happen. It is terrifying not knowing anything. It's been 7 months since J. That situation broke me. I honestly felt part of my heart die physically. She could have went about it differently but overall its my own fault for not being myself. A and M seem to be happy which is always good. Those two women will always be a part of my soul, and will more than likely never know. AM is and has been missing and I hope she is ok. L is doing amazing and I am more proud of her than anyone will ever know. A ton of they will never know crap haha. I am not the same person I was 16 years ago that is for damn sure. Well maybe I am. The boy who started this was shy, scared, innocent, and though he knew the world. That world came crashing down hard on that boy. He is still fighting to this day for life and happiness that he may never receive. That boy is drowning himself in emotions. If nothing else it cannot get too much worse I am now going to go wallow in self pity and dream about the future.

"I have drunk the night and swallowed the stars. I am dancing with abandon and singing with rapture. There is not a thing I do not love. There is not a person I have not forgiven. I feel a universe of love. I feel a universe of light. Tonight, I am with old friends
and we are returning home. The moon is our witness."