around
so i pretty much never write on this thing, i guess i just figure whats the point if no one reads it but ive come to realize its a good outlet for me to let things out and i can look back on things. i feel like my life is moving so fast sometimes. im already on my second semester of my third one more year to go. its crazy. pj and i have just had our official one year last week, it feels like so much longer, i guess it has though we've been together for three years, i feel like i cant even remember my life without him, i guess high school was just boring and uneventful that i dont even remember it that much. i cant believe ive had this thing since i was 15. im going to be 21 this year and so much has changed. im no longer depressed about myself. im happy. i hate that i was so boy obsessed and let them make me feel like shit. im content with the way i look although i do need to hit the gym more and lose some belly fat. not much just the little bump that wont go away. im going to a semi on the 28th so i plan on going to the gym everyday so i can look good in my dress. so yet again i got a new roommate, shes a transfer student from westfield and is a freshman but shes really kool and we get along good. were making jello shots on thursday :) its erins bday on friday so were going out to dinner on thursday and then coming back and getting drunk with nicole. cant wait, i must say i love just drinking and having a good time. i miss going out every thursday like i use to, it was a way to get rid of stress for the week but getting ready and looking nice to go have a good time. i guess the good times end eventually. ive learned now that sometimes its not other people who change but you yourself. i miss hanging out with my friends from home but everyone is just on such a different schedual that its hard. i guess being able to pick up were u left off even after months really makes a friendship last although i would like to not have it be so many months in between but i guess everyone else just likes staying at school. i really hate framingham and wish i never went here, the only good thing is meeting the love of my life who got smart and left while he could. this school makes me feel stupid and so not motivated to get out in the real world. i know one thing though i do not want to work at aero for the rest of my life. its fun now for a part time job, i like the people and surprisingly made friends with people i would otherwise not speek to. going home and working everyone weekend sucks sometimes i hate being home, they treat me like im 5 its frustraiting. my dad still doesnt have a job so money is tight and i work as hard as i can to afford everything. i just want to pay off all my debt to my parents so i can just start saving for an appartment for when im done. i know i wont get out right away but i dont want to live there forever. i dont no what i want with my life i feel like its going by so fast but ive done nothing with the realworld that its scary to think im graduating in a year and have no idea what im going to do for a job or a place to live. id like to live with pj when we graduate. i feel like after 4 years of knowing each other it will be a good time to start thinking about our future together. who knows if he feels the same but i deff want to wait for school to be over before we do anything like that. well time to go to the gym then dance. ill try to update more often although i know im the only one who reads these.