(no subject)
Okay, okay!
Dream last night:
I'm wandering through piny-woods at that really nice point of dusk where the lighting makes
everything look really enchanting. Okay, so. I'm walking along and everything is pretty serene
and wonderful and I'm thinking about college, my car, and ya know, women. As my mind begins
to think about those womenzzz, I get a strange feeling and turn around (a little on edge). I
see only woods and maybe chipmunks fucking. Haha, no not really I was just trying to make things
a little more interesting. Okay okay, so minus the chipmunks, I turn back around and continue
walking. Behind me I hear something off to the left, I turn around and my eye catches an obscenely
figured shadow. I do the whole "what in Zeus' name was that!!" head twisting and craning, but alas,
I am unable to discover the source. I tell myself I won't turn around, no matter what, because
shiiiiiiiiiiiit, I'm only imagining things and spooking myself.
I continue to walk. Probably humming Lord of the Rings tunes to myself because wtf, I'm a nerd.
Alright alright, so I'm coming upon a piece of Mordor and I feel something lightly lay its hand on my
shoulder. I disobey my own pact and turn around quickly, only to see a beast
similar to a barbarian ape-like creature drooling and stinking amongst the shadows.
I, of course, don't shriek like a pansy and instead become a NINJA
and confront my attacker with wisdom and speed.
As I trip over a root running the opposite direction, my mysterious foe lays its large and fungus-infested
feet in front of my face. I look up as its face falls into the light. At once, I see my attacker's true
features and lo! I did not think it possible, but it was worse than I could EVER IMAGINE. It was none
other than the face of BARBRA STREISAND
My worst nightmare was really coming true. This time, I screamed like the time I found out I was
having a Thanksgiving dinner three days after Thanksgiving.
I attempted to rise from my spot in the mud and escape this heathen but she/he/Barbra possesses a
quickness unlike that of a Ninja. With one fell swoop of her distorted bosom, it was KO.
I awoke in my bed, relieved that it was all just a dream. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I turn
to look for Elie (my stuffed elephant) and there she is, Barbarian Barbra Streisand in all of her
nauseating and Jewish glory.
[skip 45 minutes of mad terror and sex]
She's downstairs making bagels and coffee, and staying for Thanksgiving dinner three days late.
Dream last night:
I'm wandering through piny-woods at that really nice point of dusk where the lighting makes
everything look really enchanting. Okay, so. I'm walking along and everything is pretty serene
and wonderful and I'm thinking about college, my car, and ya know, women. As my mind begins
to think about those womenzzz, I get a strange feeling and turn around (a little on edge). I
see only woods and maybe chipmunks fucking. Haha, no not really I was just trying to make things
a little more interesting. Okay okay, so minus the chipmunks, I turn back around and continue
walking. Behind me I hear something off to the left, I turn around and my eye catches an obscenely
figured shadow. I do the whole "what in Zeus' name was that!!" head twisting and craning, but alas,
I am unable to discover the source. I tell myself I won't turn around, no matter what, because
shiiiiiiiiiiiit, I'm only imagining things and spooking myself.
I continue to walk. Probably humming Lord of the Rings tunes to myself because wtf, I'm a nerd.
Alright alright, so I'm coming upon a piece of Mordor and I feel something lightly lay its hand on my
shoulder. I disobey my own pact and turn around quickly, only to see a beast
similar to a barbarian ape-like creature drooling and stinking amongst the shadows.
I, of course, don't shriek like a pansy and instead become a NINJA
and confront my attacker with wisdom and speed.
As I trip over a root running the opposite direction, my mysterious foe lays its large and fungus-infested
feet in front of my face. I look up as its face falls into the light. At once, I see my attacker's true
features and lo! I did not think it possible, but it was worse than I could EVER IMAGINE. It was none
other than the face of BARBRA STREISAND
My worst nightmare was really coming true. This time, I screamed like the time I found out I was
having a Thanksgiving dinner three days after Thanksgiving.
I attempted to rise from my spot in the mud and escape this heathen but she/he/Barbra possesses a
quickness unlike that of a Ninja. With one fell swoop of her distorted bosom, it was KO.
I awoke in my bed, relieved that it was all just a dream. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I turn
to look for Elie (my stuffed elephant) and there she is, Barbarian Barbra Streisand in all of her
nauseating and Jewish glory.
[skip 45 minutes of mad terror and sex]
She's downstairs making bagels and coffee, and staying for Thanksgiving dinner three days late.