can someone tell me what I did here
I too feel Zen today, calling my mother a bully for some reason has freed me from her to the point where I am not obsessing about her anymore and that is new to me... Now I do not feel like I am not capable of taking care of my kids, taking care of my house alone, or doing anything. Used to feel like I was nothing and could do nothing. she told me over and over .. you think I am stupid.. you think I am dumb and you are smarted then me.. I no longer feel defensive towards her and I do not know how this has happened with just one word... to her... I dont get it.. and she stopped acting all snotty towards me and is "Avoiding me " to a point... but its more of saying anything to me, like she had and now is just being "nice" and not saying any "advice"
I LIKE IT!!!
I named the evil and called it out... that has to be it. if you name something you own it. I have never been so relaxed in my life. I am starting to exercise and I have also stopped Compulsively Eating.
YES I HAVE A EATING DISORDER! had i guess... I would eat to make myself feel better and have for years. it helped me get through my teenage life food made me feel better. Now I feel good.
Last week I ate a entire gallon of chocolate ice cream over 4 days. I ate 4 pounds of plums the week before that and I will eat even if it makes me feel sick. No more feelings of that. when i feel like doing it I just think and i do not have to do it anymore. I thought that it was all my fault and I was a bad person. Before my father died he appologised for what he was about to do.. he died.. I forgave him. I now know that I could die with a clear mind that I was not the one at fault and I feel like I can be myself now and let go of the act of being a big and baddie.
can one person do this to someone.. she was around me 24/7 when i was a kid and babied me and could not let go of me for anything. she was even saying that is we got a bigger house then she could live with tom and I and watch the boys and I could work... she said she was burnt out and could not do it anymore... sounds like she wants to replace me with my kids and have them attached. she held me too close and now there is a breaking away. she even said a few weeks ago that she should not have relied on me like she di.. that must have been the start of this transformation. But I feel like a physical link has been cut permanently and I feel like an adult now. Why??? what happend?
I LIKE IT!!!
I named the evil and called it out... that has to be it. if you name something you own it. I have never been so relaxed in my life. I am starting to exercise and I have also stopped Compulsively Eating.
YES I HAVE A EATING DISORDER! had i guess... I would eat to make myself feel better and have for years. it helped me get through my teenage life food made me feel better. Now I feel good.
Last week I ate a entire gallon of chocolate ice cream over 4 days. I ate 4 pounds of plums the week before that and I will eat even if it makes me feel sick. No more feelings of that. when i feel like doing it I just think and i do not have to do it anymore. I thought that it was all my fault and I was a bad person. Before my father died he appologised for what he was about to do.. he died.. I forgave him. I now know that I could die with a clear mind that I was not the one at fault and I feel like I can be myself now and let go of the act of being a big and baddie.
can one person do this to someone.. she was around me 24/7 when i was a kid and babied me and could not let go of me for anything. she was even saying that is we got a bigger house then she could live with tom and I and watch the boys and I could work... she said she was burnt out and could not do it anymore... sounds like she wants to replace me with my kids and have them attached. she held me too close and now there is a breaking away. she even said a few weeks ago that she should not have relied on me like she di.. that must have been the start of this transformation. But I feel like a physical link has been cut permanently and I feel like an adult now. Why??? what happend?