Would it really be that bad?
It was brought to my attention by a very intuitive source** that Billy Joel's run in this world may be coming to an end soon. At first I had the typical "oh no so and so is dying" response of shock and sympathy. Then the more I thought about it the more I realized really, what has Billy Joel contributed to our lives, other than the scourge of the Billboard charts that were; Piano Man, Uptown Girl and We Didn't Start the Fire. And while yes he did marry Christie Brinkley, she did eventually see the writing on the wall and it said "Get out while you can still snag a spot on VH1's the surreal life, as the beleaguered former wife of Billy Joel who could still hypothetically get in the back-pages of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue as the comeback momma with a kid, provided enough vaseline were abundantly applied to said photographer's lens".
I suspect Billy himself has seen the writing on the wall. Earlier in his career while he still had something to live for, Billy attempted suicide and wrote the song "Tomorrow is Today" about it, only tempting fate further with that song to rub him out early. This followed years of struggles with alcoholism, trying without success not to wrap his car around trees, and the realization that he was only a straight poor-man's Elton John. In Billy's defense however; in the area of his alcoholic abuse, I think it is only fair to note what his publicist pointed out to be the cause of his recent troubles, "a recent bout of severe gastrointestinal distress" as a legitimate excuse. It is only natural that once he retired from writing new songs that Billy would not have a legitimate outlet to funnel the massive amounts of shit inside of him, in turn causing severe internal pain and anguish to deal with.
In Billy Joel's bio he writes that his daughter was given the middle name Ray in honor of Billy's musical inspiration, the great Ray Charles. We can all be thankful that Ray is too blind and dead to read that he played such an integral part in motivating Billy Joel to make music. But maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, there is still a distant possibility that Billy can do something good to repair the black eye he has doled out to american music. Billy, the next time you take your car for an alcohol-induced spin about town, try to avoid crashing into a majestic oak. Instead, keep an eye open for a James Blunt or a Michael Buble.
(**this intuitive source is more or less just a friend with a hunch, but still.)
I suspect Billy himself has seen the writing on the wall. Earlier in his career while he still had something to live for, Billy attempted suicide and wrote the song "Tomorrow is Today" about it, only tempting fate further with that song to rub him out early. This followed years of struggles with alcoholism, trying without success not to wrap his car around trees, and the realization that he was only a straight poor-man's Elton John. In Billy's defense however; in the area of his alcoholic abuse, I think it is only fair to note what his publicist pointed out to be the cause of his recent troubles, "a recent bout of severe gastrointestinal distress" as a legitimate excuse. It is only natural that once he retired from writing new songs that Billy would not have a legitimate outlet to funnel the massive amounts of shit inside of him, in turn causing severe internal pain and anguish to deal with.
In Billy Joel's bio he writes that his daughter was given the middle name Ray in honor of Billy's musical inspiration, the great Ray Charles. We can all be thankful that Ray is too blind and dead to read that he played such an integral part in motivating Billy Joel to make music. But maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, there is still a distant possibility that Billy can do something good to repair the black eye he has doled out to american music. Billy, the next time you take your car for an alcohol-induced spin about town, try to avoid crashing into a majestic oak. Instead, keep an eye open for a James Blunt or a Michael Buble.
(**this intuitive source is more or less just a friend with a hunch, but still.)