1) You do not know the original fabric of evrey gown ever made. Did you see the original gown? Funny because I took my information from people who actually did.
No, I have not seen the gown in person; but I *do* have a vast knowledge about fabrics and how they drape and 'behave'. I actually have a sample of that heavy indian taffeta here and could send it to you so that you can judge whether it would have been an extremely good choice or not. It's not shiny at all, just like all silk taffeta it has a certain subtile sheen, but it's not shiny. Just out of curiosity: The 'people you got your information from' do not include a certain someone who puts a tremendous amount of work into her gowns just to have an outcome that looks beautiful but still as if it's been made about 2-3 sizes too large for her? (I'm fully aware that this question will practically invite further people to bashing my journal, thank you.)
if I ask for advice or thoughts on how something is made that is one thing; unsolicited critisism is another.
Uhm, hello? My initial comment in your journal was about a not-too-clearly labeled picture of an original gown in your Ebay auction, remember? I just justified what I said about it being labeled wrong because your pleats are draping differently than the movie costume (which you, by the way, first denied, then admitted in this last comment; which I find funny). 'Unsolicited criticism' would be if I would *just* say 'your gown is ugly' (which is not my opinion - just an example). But any criticism that has explained and true points why the one criticizing thinks so is not unsolicited.
I know I don't know everything there is to know about specific costumes; I don't claim to. I have gotten the impression that she does believe that of herself.
I don't claim to know *everything*. But I do know *some things*. I have worked hard for knowing these things. What's wrong about that?
In closing; I chose to friend you and talk to you and give you a chance after sooooooo many people warned me against it. May I just outburst and *LOL*? Before you friended me you most certainly read my userinfo. The fact that I will never lie to my friends is clearly stated there, and also that I will always say what I actually think. I have, as already mentioned in another comment of mine, thought about the possibility of swallowing down what I *really* think just in order to gain a possibly long friends and admirers list for half an hour. And here's an addition to what I have already written up as a conclusion, which is, by the way, also already written in my userinfo: I don't need friends who like me just because I make costumes and comment as nice as they like to read on *their* costumes. I need friends who tell me their honest opinions and expect the same of me in return. But just because I'm terribly curious, how does that work that people 'warned you'? Like this? Traci (in a chat room, on the phone or wherever): "Oh, I think I'll friend naergilien. I like some of her work and so she'll be a new interesting friend!" (Which, by the way, is totally against what I have written in my userinfo: I don't need friends who like me because I make costumes, I want friends who value me for my opinions, knowledge and my ability to say what I really think...) Unknown friend of Traci: "Oh no, you can't friend naergilien! I strongly warn you of it because (reason I'm much interested inserted here)!" Unknown other friend of Traci: "Yes, friending her would really be not good because (insert another reason I'm very curious to read here)!" Yet another friend of Traci: "I would strongly warn against friending her because (...blah...)!"
Is that how 'being warned about friending someone' works? Funny, I never had any discussion like that.
Little clarification...tagancaleraSeptember 21 2006, 13:36:45 UTC
I don't know you. I barely know fieryredhead. I don't have any reason to get in between the two of you on this and I'm suprised, based on the obvious content this was leading to, that I even chose to read this post.
But since I did read it I feel I need to point of a simple thing:
You stated -- "But any criticism that has explained and true points why the one criticizing thinks so is not unsolicited".
You are incorrect. Unsolicited means "unasked for". Regardless of the validity of whatever statements you made (something I am completely incapable of judging)...if she says that the criticism is unsolicited, it means she didn't ask for your opinion or critical input.
Also, because I had a gut feeling about the tone of the post and comments I went digging a little more so that I could ensure that the following statement from me is accurate (and yes, it is unsolicited...I know) --
You appear to be a very skilled seemstress and clothing reproducer. You obviously have a great deal of knowledge on the subject of fabrics and costuming in general. But the statements of others are correct. You lack tact and you are overly-critical. Its almost as if you feel you are in competition with the other costumers you are friends with. I think if you were to give some creative suggestions on improving things occasionally, and with a better choice of language and tone of writing, you might find that this was avoidable.
However, the fact you didn't know the proper context of a 9th grade literacy level word such as "unsolicited" may explain why you don't have the experiance with using the language elequantly in the forms of written communication. While you can be forgiven of this easily, few people are so skilled, I can understand why it would be annoying and angering from fireyredhead's point of view and why she would not want to deal with it anymore.
Rather than perpetuate the drama farther, you may BOTH wish to simply drop it and move on from one another's mutual lives and simply drop the stress you'll no doubt cause yourself.
I think you are completely missing the point as to why she unfriended you. It has to do more with the way you told her the picture was confusing in the auction rather than the fact that you told her. Several people have considered that it might have something to do with the language barrier, but there is a tactful way of commenting on the picture and your comment was not at all tactful or polite. Instead of pointing out what was wrong with the costume to make the picture inaccurate, all you had to say was this:
The picture of the original gown is not clearly labeled in the auction, which can be confusing to buyers who might think that is the exact gown they are getting.
See? The comments you made about the pleating being incorrect were completely uncessary and in fact a little rude. Why can you not seem to realize this? Every comment I've seen you make on Traci's journal has been negative in some way. Are you really that negative of a person or do you simply not realize that what you are doing is not courteous?
No, I have not seen the gown in person; but I *do* have a vast knowledge about fabrics and how they drape and 'behave'.
I actually have a sample of that heavy indian taffeta here and could send it to you so that you can judge whether it would have been an extremely good choice or not. It's not shiny at all, just like all silk taffeta it has a certain subtile sheen, but it's not shiny.
Just out of curiosity: The 'people you got your information from' do not include a certain someone who puts a tremendous amount of work into her gowns just to have an outcome that looks beautiful but still as if it's been made about 2-3 sizes too large for her? (I'm fully aware that this question will practically invite further people to bashing my journal, thank you.)
if I ask for advice or thoughts on how something is made that is one thing; unsolicited critisism is another.
Uhm, hello? My initial comment in your journal was about a not-too-clearly labeled picture of an original gown in your Ebay auction, remember? I just justified what I said about it being labeled wrong because your pleats are draping differently than the movie costume (which you, by the way, first denied, then admitted in this last comment; which I find funny). 'Unsolicited criticism' would be if I would *just* say 'your gown is ugly' (which is not my opinion - just an example). But any criticism that has explained and true points why the one criticizing thinks so is not unsolicited.
I know I don't know everything there is to know about specific costumes; I don't claim to. I have gotten the impression that she does believe that of herself.
I don't claim to know *everything*. But I do know *some things*. I have worked hard for knowing these things. What's wrong about that?
In closing; I chose to friend you and talk to you and give you a chance after sooooooo many people warned me against it.
May I just outburst and *LOL*?
Before you friended me you most certainly read my userinfo. The fact that I will never lie to my friends is clearly stated there, and also that I will always say what I actually think. I have, as already mentioned in another comment of mine, thought about the possibility of swallowing down what I *really* think just in order to gain a possibly long friends and admirers list for half an hour.
And here's an addition to what I have already written up as a conclusion, which is, by the way, also already written in my userinfo:
I don't need friends who like me just because I make costumes and comment as nice as they like to read on *their* costumes. I need friends who tell me their honest opinions and expect the same of me in return.
But just because I'm terribly curious, how does that work that people 'warned you'? Like this?
Traci (in a chat room, on the phone or wherever): "Oh, I think I'll friend naergilien. I like some of her work and so she'll be a new interesting friend!" (Which, by the way, is totally against what I have written in my userinfo: I don't need friends who like me because I make costumes, I want friends who value me for my opinions, knowledge and my ability to say what I really think...)
Unknown friend of Traci: "Oh no, you can't friend naergilien! I strongly warn you of it because (reason I'm much interested inserted here)!"
Unknown other friend of Traci: "Yes, friending her would really be not good because (insert another reason I'm very curious to read here)!"
Yet another friend of Traci: "I would strongly warn against friending her because (...blah...)!"
Is that how 'being warned about friending someone' works? Funny, I never had any discussion like that.
Reply
But since I did read it I feel I need to point of a simple thing:
You stated -- "But any criticism that has explained and true points why the one criticizing thinks so is not unsolicited".
You are incorrect. Unsolicited means "unasked for". Regardless of the validity of whatever statements you made (something I am completely incapable of judging)...if she says that the criticism is unsolicited, it means she didn't ask for your opinion or critical input.
Also, because I had a gut feeling about the tone of the post and comments I went digging a little more so that I could ensure that the following statement from me is accurate (and yes, it is unsolicited...I know) --
You appear to be a very skilled seemstress and clothing reproducer. You obviously have a great deal of knowledge on the subject of fabrics and costuming in general. But the statements of others are correct. You lack tact and you are overly-critical. Its almost as if you feel you are in competition with the other costumers you are friends with. I think if you were to give some creative suggestions on improving things occasionally, and with a better choice of language and tone of writing, you might find that this was avoidable.
However, the fact you didn't know the proper context of a 9th grade literacy level word such as "unsolicited" may explain why you don't have the experiance with using the language elequantly in the forms of written communication. While you can be forgiven of this easily, few people are so skilled, I can understand why it would be annoying and angering from fireyredhead's point of view and why she would not want to deal with it anymore.
Rather than perpetuate the drama farther, you may BOTH wish to simply drop it and move on from one another's mutual lives and simply drop the stress you'll no doubt cause yourself.
Good Day.
Reply
The picture of the original gown is not clearly labeled in the auction, which can be confusing to buyers who might think that is the exact gown they are getting.
See? The comments you made about the pleating being incorrect were completely uncessary and in fact a little rude. Why can you not seem to realize this? Every comment I've seen you make on Traci's journal has been negative in some way. Are you really that negative of a person or do you simply not realize that what you are doing is not courteous?
Reply
Leave a comment