Regret.
Title: Regret
Fandom: u-kiss
Pairing: 2KiXander (KiBum/Kiseop/Xander)
Genre: angst. Fluff. Idk...
Rating: Pg-13
A/N: they're my three biases. I just thought what the heck, why not? Have been meaning to write one before the chaos anyway.
Warning: boyxboyxboy, not beta-ed.
Summary: He should regret ever meeting KiBum. Or Xander. Maybe it would hurt less, or it won't hurt at all.
He should regret it.
He should regret ever meeting KiBum. Or Xander. Maybe it would hurt less, or it won't hurt at all.
He should regret loving both of them so much, so much that sometimes it's hard to breathe. Maybe if he didn't love them, it would be easier to let them go.
He should regret letting his walls down, letting them destroy the brick structures around his heart, making themselves at home in his little island and they even made a bridge, connecting him to everyone. So maybe they would believe him when he said that he was alright, that he was fine. Maybe then both of them wouldn't make empty promises like how nothing has changed, that they are still together and how they are stronger than this.
Maybe he should regret letting them into his bed, or letting himself to be so comfortable in their beds, because now the sheets are cold and the bed has too much space.
He should regret it all.
But he knew better.
He knows he will never regret all of those things. He knows if he even tries to regret making love to KiBum and Xander, he will fail horribly. Because he knows their bodies more than his own, because he he knows where to kiss, where to touch, where to press. The contrast of KiBum's hands and Xander's legs and the perfect blend of both sweet and spice and those things in between that makes everytime they make love something magical. If he would try to regret those times, he's a fool.
He knows he will never regret letting his walls down, not when both of them had bared everything to him too, those secret whispers of things they would only let their counterparts know. The secret tears that he witnessed, how at the end of a long week, the three of them fit into the couch like a simple unique puzzle meant to be that way.
He knows he will never regret loving them so much, as much as he wants to. Because he knows, knows as if it was carved into his bones or forever imprinted in his brain, that they love him so so much, it hurts them too. And it's equally hard for them to let go too. So they chose not to. Yes, they are stronger than this.
And he will never ever regret meeting KiBum and Xander. As much as he thought it would hurt less, the reality was it would hurt more because then he would have to go on for the rest of his life wondering what he was missing. He wouldn't know who was Kim KiBum, or Alexander Lee Eusobio for the rest of his life - and frankly, he couldn't imagine that. Couldn't even begin to.
So tonight, Kiseop lay down on the sheets, they were cold and the room is too quiet so he decides to send out two texts to two of his boyfriends (he isn't sure if he can still call them that now. Are they still dating? Are they going to be okay?)
I still love you. A company's decision not going to change that. And you guys better have the same answer.
And presses send.
He waits for ten minutes. Fifteen. Thirty. He is so close to crying. He won't cry. He won't cry.
Then the doorbell rings but he is just too heartbroken to move.
His phone rings, KiBum's name flashing on the screen.
He presses the green button.
"it's freezing, outside! Get the damn door, we're here!" KiBum yells into the mouthpiece, Kiseop has to put a slight distance between his ear and the phone.
Another voice leaks through the speaker. "Yeah, we're supposed to have hot make-up sex right now! Open the door!!"
Xander? Kiseop stares at the phone for two seconds before practically flying to the front door and then is covered by his boyfriends. (he's pretty sure of it now)
Though he isn't sure how they are going to make this work, but he knows they're going to be okay.
Even if they won't, at least he knows that they all tried.
-End-
This was supposed to be angst, but I fail at angst /headdesks.
Comments are loved.