a little more relaxed this time...
Junior year at CU... wow.. I feel like my life is whizzing right by me. What am I talking about? Thats not a feeling.. its a fact. As reality would have it, the last year of my life has absolutely been the most wild, up and down, twisting, spinning shocking roller coaster ride in the history of man. Its been almost a year since I've known Brett, but it feels like I've been chasing him for so much longer. He absolutely broke my heart, and I can't say I'm over him yet. I think I've figured out that its almost.. my style.. to not want it to be over. Because.. when I love someone, I LOVE them, and I don't want to know its absolutely over. I have this romantic idea that he'll realize how utterly stupid he is and come back to me. Maybe because I havn't found that connection like I had with Brett.. lame. I did this with Matt too, weird.
I'm at that point, where I'm really ready for that relationship again. I'm not going to settle, and I'm not goign to run in blinded by a cute boy like I usually do either. No, I need ligit, and true romance and real passion. If someone is going to fuck up, I'm not giving them another chance. If I'm going to put my heart and soul into you, I need you to do the same for me, and not only that, I need you to want to be with me. I'm not going to play with myself anymore.
Thats why Tim isn't going to work. It was great.. he was so much fun, he was a gentleman, and he's cute. However, telling me one night he's not interested in going past friendship, and then telling me two nights later he actualy does want to date.. I don't know. I don't like indecision. I'm not going to let anyone be indecisive with my feelings anymore. Soo.. sorry Tim.
My classes are fantastic this semester. I'm finally in all my upper div. philosophy classes. Its combative, and deep and thats exactly what I wanted for this semester.
I hope what I'm hoping for comes my way. I remember september, and I want to forget it, or replace it with something better.
I'm also getting nervous for Sarah to leave.. I know she'll be fine, but I'm going to miss her. and I don't know if I'll be fine without her for that long. Rawr.
I'm at that point, where I'm really ready for that relationship again. I'm not going to settle, and I'm not goign to run in blinded by a cute boy like I usually do either. No, I need ligit, and true romance and real passion. If someone is going to fuck up, I'm not giving them another chance. If I'm going to put my heart and soul into you, I need you to do the same for me, and not only that, I need you to want to be with me. I'm not going to play with myself anymore.
Thats why Tim isn't going to work. It was great.. he was so much fun, he was a gentleman, and he's cute. However, telling me one night he's not interested in going past friendship, and then telling me two nights later he actualy does want to date.. I don't know. I don't like indecision. I'm not going to let anyone be indecisive with my feelings anymore. Soo.. sorry Tim.
My classes are fantastic this semester. I'm finally in all my upper div. philosophy classes. Its combative, and deep and thats exactly what I wanted for this semester.
I hope what I'm hoping for comes my way. I remember september, and I want to forget it, or replace it with something better.
I'm also getting nervous for Sarah to leave.. I know she'll be fine, but I'm going to miss her. and I don't know if I'll be fine without her for that long. Rawr.