(no subject)

[nadiapopp]

hmmm its about 4 in the morning. im not sleepy at all so i decided to write in my oh so wonderful journal that everyone reads. just cause i know im so loved. well today was an insightful day. i realized some stuff. that even when peoples try to be nice to me im still bitchy back to them. that one person inparticualr being my mom. i trully think that sometimes my hate towards her makes me blind and kinda causes me to be a bitch to her evern though her intentions werent to be mean to me at all. also everyone interprets things differently. its not a bad thing. its just that sometimes maybe you also need a different perspective and you should take the time to see things the way your opposer does. also things i do affect people. i have an issue understanding that though. i mean many times its happened. im stupid. like no matter how many times bad things happen it is inevitable that they will happen again. for some reason i dont really learn from my mistakes. youd think that after fucking up opprutunities, peoples lives, and my own life would teach me something. but no. i dont think its because i dont really care. i think that i am just slefish and only do things that i somehow find beneficial to me at the moment. i honestly never stop and think about the consequences. i mean i know that there will be some. but for some reasong ill do what i want n e ways just because it seems like a good idea at the moment. im not quite sure why i dont stop and just think sometimes. i guess its just because somehow in my mind what happening at the moment really seems worth it. whats even worse is that after the consequences i still somehow in my mind didnt give crap as if what i did was worth fucking everything else up. i mean like wow i hurt peoples. some of them dont even know how i have afected their lives. but it has and they are just unconcious to it. but my mind is changing now. like saying hello wake up half the things you do arent right. see i know im good on he inside. i just have to embrace it. thats the really hard part. i dont know why its hard. its seems like its like telling the truth. the truth now matter how brutal is always the right thing to say. if its the right thing why is so hard to say it and so easy to just lie? it seems that most of the time in the real world evil will conquer good. im trying to help the good side of me but its been a while since i can truly say that ive been good. not that im evil or n e thing but im kinda stuck in the middle. im not really even that evil i dont think. i mean i really dont think that ima horible evil person although some may beg to differ. im just not 100% good. im working on it though. k now i know this update is way too long and im surprised if you read it up til here. its really irrelevant to n e your lives. k im out. latta



You are the Spirit of Love. You think around
romance and are extremely compassionate.
Whenever you want something you can get it due
to your fiery passion. You can make friends
quite easily, because peopole are attracted to
your obvious good nature. You will have no
trouble in finding a life partner and will be
very happy.

Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
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