Elaboration on a comment made on my previous post here

[nadezhdast]

I know that the few people who are checking this journal probably expect a post on family by me now, but you’ll have to wait a little longer. This one’s going to be a first, it’ll be a comment on a comment that someone made on my previous post. I’ve still no idea who they are, but they most certainly provoked my thinking process, so I’ll share

Comments

[anonymous]

To get the simple things out of the way first, it's Ginny. Don't know why I forgot to write my name last time, I think I was in the middle of doing too many things. And I've heard people say "lezzie" in unoffensive situations, so it sounds like a term of endearment (and kinda cool one too :)) to me.
Now the more complex part of the discussion...Nobody can say what love is. I guess it just means a different thing to you than it means to me, but it used to mean the same thing for me as it does for you now. I've felt like I was in an unrequited love more than once and, I've never said this to anybody else, I loved a girl too. She was one in a million, stunningly beautiful, a genius in everything and really good-hearted. I'm grateful I met her, because she helped me grow and learn so much about life. I'm not in contact with her anymore though, and I actually try not to be. Why? Because I loved my boyfriend at the same time (yes, I loved both of them at once) and he was someone who loved me back. He was the one who taught me that love doesn't have to hurt. Yes, it can hurt sometimes, but it doesn't have to. It can be unrequited sometimes, but it doesn't have to. It makes me feel blessed every day. Which is why I wrote the previous comment. I simply want you to have that much happiness as well. I want all of my friends to be happy. Of course, only you know what's best for you and what is in your heart.

"That special someone" is just a common phrase that literally means "the person you're in a relationship with". It doesn't imply that people who are not in a relationship with you are not special, for me all the people close to me are special. You're special too, which leads to the third thing you disagree with.

Yes, I have to admit I do think that if I love someone and they don't love me back, I feel like I'm wasting my love. I agree, I can be very selfish at times, but since I think everyone is special, that includes ME. So if I spend nights dreaming about somebody, worrying if they are OK, and smiling every time something reminds me of them, why couldn't somebody feel the same way for me? If I can begin my birthday by rushing to the emergency room, because I'm worried about their health, why shouldn't they do the same for me if I need help? Everybody has the right to live. So is not wanting to die selfish? In the same way, everybody is wonderful and has the right to be loved by someone. Since in my view you're even more wonderful, I want you to be loved too. Deeply and sincerely, just like you are capable of loving. It's not selfish, it's fair.

I wasn't in any way trying to frustrate you or offend the girl you love. I don't know her, so I can't have an opinion of her. What I wrote is simply what most people would think after reading your post, and if you truly care about somebody you risk being misunderstood in a negative light sometimes. I still hope things turn out in the best possible way for you, though.

Hmm, sorry for overreacting?

[nadezhdast]

Hey. :) Let me start with this - I didn't delay my reply because I was mad at you. It was simply because I was busy and then I went home and you know how lazy I get when I'm here. :) By the way, if you hadn't forgotten to put your name in the first comment I would have toned down my reply to it somewhat. As it is you received the completely unedited version because I had no idea who I was dealing with and felt threatened. I know that you said what you did out of concern for me and that you want me to be happy. I do. And I appreciate that. Very much. But you should also know that I'm not hurt or suffering in any way now. On the contrary I'm happy and I have the feeling that I'm doing what's right. My inner voice tells me so. If I end up being hurt anyway, well that's a risk I'm willing to take. Thanks so much for caring for my well-being. You're a truly wonderful friend. *hug*

I think there's a misunderstanding between us somewhere. I never said that love should be unrequited. It just so happens that it's that way with me. I've decided to live it out for a change and I'm feeling very content right now. Once more - I trust the girl in question. Please have some faith in her for me too. I've always believed that it's not only right, but fair for everyone to have someone who loves them back and for whom they are special. I'd really like that for me too, of course. But if it's bound to happen, it will. You can't force fate. Let me ask you one question - did you go out looking for Andy or did you just happen to find each other? Well? You see things do turn out for the best. You just don't always know what that is. Sometimes you realise it some time later. We'll see how it goes for me in due time, so don't worry yourself needlessly in between. :)

Thanks for sharing with me that you've been in love with a girl. It really means a lot. It's interesting for me that you've been in love with two people at the same time. I don't think I am capable of that. I love ONE person so intensely that I sometimes scare myself. I don't think I have the capacity to feel that much for two people at the same time. I've even noticed that I've stopped paying too much attention to the other girls out there. Yes, there is the "oh,she's pretty" moment, but I'd have to be blind not to notice. And no one is prettier than the girl I'm in love with... I guess I'm just a one woman's woman so to speak. :) We'll see if I manage to find my woman out there. Again - if it's meant to happen, it will. So don't worry, really. I AM happy now.

Finally, about the "special" part. I don't know if you'll think the girl I'm in love with is special even if you meet her. You see - specialness is a very subjective thing. Andy is special to you, but to me he's special only because he has the good sense to be in love with you. And thank God for that really, cause otherwise we'd all be fighting over the same people. :)