Breakeven (4/?)

[naddypants]

TITLE: Breakeven
AUTHOR: naddypants
RATING: 15
CHARACTERS: Ianto and Jack. Don't worry they'll get together in the end!
SUMMARY: With Lisa gone and Ianto left alone with a baby in a cold hospital, his life feels like its about to end. But will it? 
WARNINGS: Completely and utterly AU. Turn back now if you don't like AU...Also, it's a bit sad in places.
A/N: Not much to  say really, but I guess I wrote this pretty spontaneously. I've been wanting to write AU for a while (you can blame

just_being_me08    and her amazing Tales of a Time Agency for that) and this story came along and it seemed to work. I really hope it does, as it's kind of close to my heart in a sense...Also, this chapter is dedicated to the amazing melthorne   for betaing this for me, and generally being awesome. Special dedis for 
just_being_me08  too as she never ever fails to put a smile on my face, and she's wrote the most gorgeous prompt for me! SANSAP ftw :) Did I mention she's the most amazing person too? :)
DISCLAIMER: I own the action figures, 'cause I'm cool like that. The actual series etc, belongs to RTD and the big ole Beeb. I can't afford to be sued, I'm still in school!

Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:

"...So then I was caught with my trousers down in the middle of the sixth form centre. The pictures were all over the school come the next day. I think I must have died of embarrassment!"

Ianto laughed nervously as the man next to him roared with laughter, and he was suddenly very aware of how personal (well in a sense) that information was, and how he'd been so casual in discussing it with Jack. It was strange, but he'd never felt so comfortable talking about anything like that since Lisa.

A piercingly loud automated screech filled the room before Jack was able to come back at Ianto with a story to rival his; but the sudden severe expression on the man's face as he sprung to his feet, eyes darting over his son told him that something was very wrong.

And as Ianto spun round, he felt what was left of the world he'd been slowly rebuilding collapse, the nurses and doctors sprinting to Cerys' bedside as he tried to throw himself closer, only to find two sturdy hands grasping his arms and pulling him backwards into a tight embrace; "Let them help her Ianto" was all that he whispered into his ear as he led him out of the room.

Slumping against the wall outside, the sound of the flat line punctuating his thoughts as he stared at the lino flooring, his head balanced against his arms, as if it no longer wanted to be held up of it's own accord, willing it to do something to stop the pain that was ripping through his every cell.

Jack had tried to pull him away, down the corridor, part of him knowing what was coming next, and the pain held in the youthful features of the young man before him left his heart close to shattered.

So as the trolley was bustled out the doors of the ward and the sounds of the doctors shouting instructions to each other filled the corridor, and a triumphant, hopeful, but painfully weak beep of the heart monitor sounded, Jack should have smiled at Ianto, assured him it was going to be okay.

But he knew he could never be so sure. He didn't want to lie to Ianto.

And so he positioned himself on the floor beside the young man, he felt all the pain he was going through.

They sat like that for a while, nothing but silence and the errant breathing of a sobbing man filling the bubble they'd built around themselves in the bustling hospital. And tempted as he was to wrap a comforting arm around Ianto, he knew it would do no good whatsoever.

"I thought she was getting better," he whispered, his gaze still fixed on the floor, but his expression now void of emotion; like he was building himself up for a dramatic fall, or a complete mental breakdown....

"And she was. She will," Jack replied, reassuring himself as much as he was reassuring Ianto; although he was well aware of what little effect it would have. "She pulled through before."

"But her heart stopped," Ianto replied, quieter than before. "She died in there Jack. And it's like a piece of me is gone too. I don't want to lose her....I'm terrified. I can't do this..."

And there he snapped.

It was like his heart fell onto the floor as his body was wracked with more sobs and Jack knew that until Ianto got that tiny girl out of this suddenly cold, grey, draining place, he would never leave her side. And it saddened Jack a bit, but on the other hand, it proved just how passionate and loving one so youthful could be; that all Jack's perceptions about Ianto were correct.

In those hours on the floor, Jack felt like he was observing their surroundings in a time lapse; the doctors and nurses and relatives breezing past, completely oblivious to the turmoil raging in Ianto's mind. And Jack knew all to well the thoughts going through his mind, and he was forced to watch the Welshman, completely captivated by his expressions, seconds passing in what felt like minutes, while the world around them sped up.

Right then all he longed to do was protect him from the pain. But he knew there was not much he could do save for being a supportive friend, a shoulder to cry on...

Ianto by contrast was absorbed in his thoughts, completely blind and deaf to everything around him save the constant and strong presence by his side, not saying a word - just there. And Ianto was silently grateful to him for it.

As time passed on further, Ianto's heart ached, longed for any news; and looking up to the wall opposite he felt like the world had turned it's back on him. The colours and sounds drained from the hallway once more and the din in his mind silenced also; the only sound he could hear were those weak heartbeats as she was rushed away...

So sudden was the intrusion into his reverie that Ianto felt his head spin when he found himself looking at the bloodied scrubs of a doctor pacing down the corridor. The crimson was so stark against the pale green, so final, that Ianto felt his heart sink, even though part of him was sure the woman hadn't come from theatre.

Nonetheless, he felt the tears that he'd thought had dried come tumbling out once more, and this time he did nothing to stop them, vibrations wracking and shaking his body as he leant against the wall as though it was the only thing holding him up.

And there, amongst the sorrow, two muscular arms wound their way around him, soothing him, whispering comforting nonsense into his ear as he allowed himself to feel completely safe in the other man's embrace.

He began to realise there was nothing he could do to change the situation; but he knew that didn't make it feel any better, or any more fair. But he'd resigned himself to whatever was going to happen.

Leaning further into Jack's arms he sighed, breathing in the scent of the man and trying to forget for just a moment. It felt like it had been too long since he'd had anywhere near that level of intimacy with anyone. And with that thought came  another painful memory of Lisa that ripped at his heartstrings, prompting more tears to cascade down his face, and Jack's hand to rub soothing circles onto his back.

When the sound of a door slamming broke Ianto and Jack apart, both snapping their heads to the left to follow the source of the noise, only to find a flustered looking nurse half-sprinting towards them, resulting in them both looking disappointedly away again.

Ianto's stomach lurched slightly as he felt his body slowly shutting down, his energy escaping him, everything within him just feeling so utterly empty and useless...

So an hour later when the nurses returned, two of them pushing the bed towards where they were seated, a smiling (and strangely young) doctor following closely behind.

Springing to his feet, Ianto peered into the cot, still not quite believing what he was seeing, trying to take in the fact that he was still a father, the relief washing over him in waves.

As he turned to follow Cerys blindly into the room before a hand rested on his shoulder, Jack's expectant face coming into view, an eyebrow raised as he pushed Ianto in the direction of the doctor who'd extended his hand towards him.

"Dr Harper."

Ianto nodded. "Jones...Ianto Jones," he replied, distracted, his heart aching to be near his daughter again, to confirm that it was her, that she was okay.

"Look, I just wanted to say that Cerys is going to need a couple more operations..." He paused to gauge Ianto's response before continuing as he registered the worried line of his eyebrows. "But honestly Mr Jones, they're nothing to worry about. Now we've figured out what was wrong it's simple to correct I assure you."

Nodding Ianto thanked the man quietly and shuffled back into the room, relief and reserved joy gripping in his chest as he watched Cerys carefully, willing her to get better.

"Told ya," Jack whispered.

"Don't you have a job to get going to?" Ianto replied dryly.

"I've got two weeks off. I'm afraid you’re stuck with me..." He said chuckling lightly, but the message was clear...

Woah, we're going well here. I thank you all so much for reading, really, the response to this has been great! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as it was a bit of a struggle to write. Anyway, I shan't babble, but please, I ask you for your thoughts and comments. Whether you loved it or hated it (well not so much on the hated) let me know. Thankies. :D