Breakeven (3/?)

[naddypants]

TITLE: Breakeven
AUTHOR: naddypants
RATING: 15
CHARACTERS: Ianto and Jack. Don't worry they'll get together in the end!
SUMMARY: With Lisa gone and Ianto left alone with a baby in a cold hospital, his life feels like its about to end. But will it? ...In which Jack and Ianto talk.... 
WARNINGS: Completely and utterly AU. Turn back now if you don't like AU...Also, it's a bit sad in places.
A/N: Not much to  say really, but I guess I wrote this pretty spontaneously. I've been wanting to write AU for a while (you can blame

just_being_me08   and her amazing Tales of a Time Agency for that) and this story came along and it seemed to work. I really hope it does, as it's kind of close to my heart in a sense...Also, this chapter is dedicated to the amazing melthorne  for betaing this for me, and generally being awesome. Special dedis for 
just_being_me08  too as she never ever fails to put a smile on my face, and she's writing a prompt for me! SANSAP ftw :) and to thehubsitter for awesome Patrick dances and the marmite prompt. :D I owe them both one now!

DISCLAIMER: I own the action figures, 'cause I'm cool like that. The actual series etc, belongs to RTD and the big ole Beeb. I can't afford to be sued, I'm still in school!


Part 1:
Part 2:

Gazing into those tiny chocolate eyes, Ianto felt his heart could easily burst from his chest. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and she was all his. He longed to show her off to the world, to share his joy with Lisa, and yet he knew that would never happen. He could never love anyone in the same way as he'd loved Lisa, and now she was gone, deep down his heart told him to devote himself completely to the tiny bundle held in his arms.

He'd begun to feel more confident lately, telling Dylan stories when Jack didn't come in, and enjoying the prescance of the other man when he did get the chance to visit his son. That was the way Jack described it; almost flippantly. It concerned Ianto slightly, but he still didn't know how long the little boy had been in the hospital, and he was sure if it was much longer than he was in currently, constant supervision wore a bit thin.

It also made Ianto all the more curious as to what Jack did for a living, as the man often arrived with a tired wariness in his eyes, but a beam that could light up whole cities on his face.

In two weeks, they'd talked across the room, about little things, nothing dramatic, but they'd begun to build a steady friendship around that; Jack greatly appreciating that Ianto was able to be there for his son, even when he wasn't.

Of course, Ianto realised with a small smile, watching the man once more, that he'd been doing most of the talking as Jack encouraged him, a small nod here, an encouraging phrase or question there. Finding out everything about him, but never quite telling his own story...

"Coffee?" Jack asked, causing Ianto to turn his head slightly to observe him as he was snapped from his reverie. He watched Jack stand from Dylan's bedside, laying a piece of paper on the bedside table, within Dylan's reach.

"Yeah that'd be great thanks," Ianto replied, snapping himself from his slight trance, mesmerised by the man's elegant movements.

"Come on then!" Jack indicated towards the door. "My treat"

Ianto opened his mouth to protest, but Jack cut him off before he uttered a word. "Ianto, you can't stay here forever. This place; it consumes your soul. I know. That vacant look will get you, and there's no turning back. Live a little. It's only a coffee. I promise. Nothing dramatic is going to happen while we're gone"

Nodding reluctantly, Ianto stood up and followed Jack out of the ward blindly, half expecting to be dragged in the direction of the hospital canteen, but as Jack swerved and swung left down one of the endless snaking corridors, Ianto's mind spun until they reached the main reception area of the hospital.

He hardly recognised it now; the desk, the hubbub, all completely alien to him as Jack led him out, back into the world and away from his weeks of quiet and loneliness. As the sunlight hit him, he realised that for the first time since he'd arrived, it didn't make him feel guilty, instead, he felt relieved, elated even.

Jack smiled at Ianto's expression and breathed out a soft chuckle. "You've been in there too long mate"

Ianto nodded in response, but realised the niggling fear for Cerys' well being was still knotting and twisting in his gut as he allowed himself to be led down the street and out of the hospital grounds, through the alleys and parks of the city he should know so well, but now, they seemed so new, the colours blurring as he tried to take them all in; his realisation that life could be so bitterly short a harsh one, and he reminded himself that sometimes it was okay to be selfish and take a moment for yourself...

"It passes, after a bit," Jack smiled as he pushed a door open and led Ianto into a small coffee shop. "That feeling in your gut, It never quite leaves, but it subsides..."

"It's no Starbucks," he suddenly announced as silence began to descend between them, "but it's good." He promised as he led Ianto to a large sofa by the window. "What do you want?"

"What would you recommend?"

"Now that isn't fair," Jack replied, tilting his head slightly as he gazed into Ianto's eyes.

"How exactly so?" Ianto asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well it depends see. You can tell a lot about a man from his choice of coffee. Some days I'd say a straight black Costa Rican dark roast with two sugars. Other days I'd say the Java Lava with a dash of caramel syrup. As for today? I think I'm Jonesing for something a bit more exotic"

As Ianto noticed Jack slowly leaning towards him, he turned his head slightly and glanced out the window. "Quite the coffee connoisseur," he said simply, hoping the tension would dissipate quickly before he started to long for the ground to swallow him up.

"Just a man with an appreciation with the finer things in life," he said, smirking as he nodded towards the barista, who instantly got to work at the coffee machine.

"I think you know why I brought you here," Jack announced suddenly, eyes almost boring into him.

Ianto choked, feeling like a schoolboy caught out as he continued to cough quietly. "Excuse me?"

"You do. Well, I guess I ought to explain myself anyway. I already know plenty about you. Well, not everything, but I digress. It's only fair I do the same for you"

Ianto shook his head. "You don't have to do this"

Jack pulled a face and sighed. "If I told you that you were the only person aside from Dylan I've felt comfortable enough with to be open about this to, would that change your thoughts?"

"Okay," Ianto replied, unsure as the barista appeared with two chocolate muffins (quite possibly the largest Ianto had seen in his life) and a delicate coffee pot, beside which sat two large mugs, all of which were gloriously mismatched and balanced precariously on a silver tray.

"The place has charm," Jack whispered, only loud enough for Ianto to hear as he leaned back into the sofa. "Gets more charming every time I come in here, eh Andy?" he winked as the young man set the items on the table in front of them.

"Oi, steady on," the young man replied in a light-hearted tone, his tousled strawberry blond curls falling over his youthful face as he tried to disguise the blush steadily rising up his cheeks. As he turned abruptly away, Ianto couldn't help but notice the slight spring in the man's step.

"Anyway," Jack started, taking a bite of his muffin and regarding Ianto. "Where shall I start?"

"What's your job?" Ianto suddenly blurted out, and regretted it instantly as Jack's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Sorry...I mean...you're away a lot..."

Jack smiled and shook his head, "No no, you're right to ask. You've been looking after Dylan when I have been out on work, so I guess I owe you an explanation," he said, raising his mug. "I'm a lawyer of sorts"

"Of sorts?" Ianto cut in, in an unashamedly suspicious tone, his mind already weaving stories of shifty goings on and Mafia cars before he allowed the man to finish.

"Well, I used to be a pilot with the RAF you see, before...everything. Now I tend to help with investigations," he replied, placing his mug down heavily and breathing out a long sigh, his hand moving shakily to his face as he did do. Ianto realising Dylan had been serious when he'd elicited about the tales Jack told him about flying planes.

"Right," was all Ianto could say to prompt the other man to open up, taking a sip of his coffee to hide his curiousity with a satisfied smile.

"Where can I start? God...Estelle...she was so beautiful. It's been a year now... That day...I lost her...it was the worst day of my life," he said, glancing to Ianto carefully. "I'm sure you can relate," he continued, a supportive smile reaching his lips as he nodded. "Well, I guess I'll keep it brief, so we can get onto something more cheerful. So, this time last year, I was off at the barracks. Senior officer was off and I was the next in line. Anyway, I had to pop home for some reason or another...and when I got in the house was empty. Not an unusual occurrence I have to say, and there was a note on the hall table telling me to meet them at the hospital and not to worry"

Ianto nodded and put a hand on Jack's arm as his eyes began to water.

"So I did, and by the time I got there I was hit with the news that she'd died in a car accident...Dylan on the other hand was seriously injured, slim chances and all that," he breathed out shakily. "Not sure there's much more to the story now other than I did your never leaving stunt for a while. But there you have it"

"So why's Dylan in the sick kids ward?" Ianto asked, his brow furrowed.

Distractedly, Jack lifted his muffin and started playing with it. "He has leukaemia, which is why it was so serious that he was hurt. No one really knows the details of what happened either...Dylan refuses to talk about it..."

"Understandable, given everything..."

"So, Mr Jones," Jack asked suddenly, his tone unquestionably lighter as he spoke with a lop-sided smile on his face. "What do you do for a living?"

Ianto smiled and sipped his coffee before beginning, "Nothing exciting really, office boy by way of things..."

"Offices are exotic to me...sounds kinda exciting. The idea of photocopying my butt always appealed..." Jack said, completely serious about his statement.

Ianto choked out a laugh as he placed the mug down. "Are you serious? They're the most boring places on earth!"

"You've never photocopied your butt..." Jack stated disappointedly.

Ianto shook his head. "Nope, I might now you mention it though. I'm on leave at the minute. They're letting me have Lisa's maternity leave...considering...you know"

Jack smiled again. "I understand. How much longer have you got off?"

"They've given me nine months"

Jack blew out his cheeks and raised his eyebrows. "Woah. Accommodating boss."

Ianto winked and smiled, suddenly feeling a lot more comfortable. "Oh, you have no idea..."

And thus, their conversation continued, both revelling in the company, the chance to enjoy some light hearted banter without the backdrop of hospital wards and nurses to get in the way of things.

Ianto smiled to himself as he finished his final dregs of coffee. If Jack was going to make this a regular occurrence, Ianto certainly wasn't going to complain...

Well well well, here we are again. Three chapters in already! Woah. And to think I planned this as a one-off. Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed it! Please please let me know what you think. After all, it's written for you lot. :)