Today and MST chapter 4
You know, there is no problem with Valentine's Day in itself. It's a good concept: a day to celebrate love. But when you're single and the only one home because your apartmentmates take afternoon/evening classes and you have to get up every half-hour to recieve another package for them, it can really drive you up and over the wall. I tried to take a nap. No luck. Tried to curl up and read for a bit, barely was able to read anything before another delivery person arrived. Ya know... if you have that much disposable income, just find the time, seek out the recipient, and give it to them yourself. You don't have to send it delivery.
And while I understand that one apartmentmate has about five guys she's stringing along who all are in lust, you would think she'd tell them not to send gifts. At least one of them will be over tonight, and what happens when they see all the piles of chocolate and bouquets of flowers with her name on them? She'll be high, as always, and won't think to take them off... That will cause yet another yelling fight at 3am. One day maybe she'll learn, though I doubt it. She didn't learn not to drink and drive after her DUI arrest. She didn't learn not to get high EVERY SINGLE NIGHT after failing most of her classes. Oh well. Maybe I'll write my next short story about her.
Long live Singles Awareness Day, and maybe I'll find a guy someday who is worth the time. *snickers* Yeah, right.
[The crew has reconvened in the living room. Elrond is methodically de-shelling peanuts to use as ammo and is still a bit drunk, Tadan has snuck a lighter into a pocket, and the twins and Legolas have lots of popcorn to throw at the screen. Luitha is currently sneaking a hand into Aragorn’s pocket.]
So, the drama finally continues. How will it go? How will Legolas react to Aragron and Arwen?
[Legolas: I’d leave them alone.]
Well, read on to find out…….
[Elrond: Do we have to? I’d rather be doing... anything]
Thanks to; tmelange, Legolas 19, Eryn Galen, DragonBlade, bradleigh, random reviewer, ak-stinger, Magda, lillypotterfan, sumisweet x3, Luna Lovegood, Hana, and Jason. I love you all, and may you live forever in peace. J I hope you like this chapter as much as you liked the others………
Disclaimer: I still do not own ANYTHING in this story, apart from the actual story-line, which isn’t too much to be proud of anyway……..
[Aragorn: Now she tells us?]
Two weeks.
[Tadan: Is how long every sentence in this train-wreck seems to take.]
For two long weeks Legolas had had to put up with the two lovers,
[Elrond: LOVERS???
Elrond pulls out his sword, staggering slightly.
Tadan: Erm. I thought we said no one was supposed to be armed at these things, some sort of unofficial rule…
Elrohir: Ada…
Elladan: Breathe. Please.
Aragorn: You know how far off the author has been with everything else.
Legolas: Do you really think I would flirt with a MAN?
Elrond breathes.
Luitha: Put the sword down, please.
Elrond sheathes the sword.
Elrond: I will kill this author, many times.
Tadan: And we’ll look forward to it.
Luitha: And sell tickets to it.
Tadan: You could kill the author to Celebrian too, while you’re at it.]
the human and the she-elf, simpering over each other. Normally, it wouldn’t bother him, but they seemed to do it EVERYWHERE!!!! Not only in the gardens, the forest, various rooms in the palace, but stupid places, like at breakfast, at fighting or shooting practice, in the stables - quite literally everywhere, all the time.
[Elrond: For clarification, when the author talksh about ‘doing it everywhere’, she means shimperinging. And I will hear no other translalations of that. Am I clear?
Everyone else nods while eyeing the sheathed sword.]
‘Of course,’ thought Legolas to himself, ‘it has nothing to do with WHO it is. Nothing to do with the human. Nope. Not at all. Never. Well, maybe just a bit…….’ He sighed mournfully to himself.
[Tadan: Wait, is he implying that Arwen would, um, simper, with anyone?
Luitha: I think it means he’s sickened because it’s Aragorn, ahem, simpering.
Tadan: Ah. So simpering is what Elves call it?
Elrond: What did I shay?
Tadan: Something about translations. But we’re not translating. We’re implying.
Elrond: No other implications either!]
He was totally turning into a hopeless case.
[Elrohir: Like, totally.
Elladan: For sure.
Elrohir: I just got a manicure.
Elladan: The sun, I swear-
Tadan: They’ve gone Valley Girl! Flee for your lives!]
He was sitting with his legs up on his window-sill, facing the sunset, watching it turn from yellow slowly to gold.
[Elrohir: What I wouldn’t give to be able to give him a little nudge and watch him topple…]
Soon, he heard laughter below him, and looked down to the gardens to see Estel and Arwen strolling along together hand-in-hand, giggling and chattering. Lightning bolts of hatred and jealousy coursed through Legolas’s blood as he watched them.
[Luitha: Wouldn’t that hurt?]
He watched as the kissed in front of the fountain, before he said goodbye to her
[Legolas: Wait, was [i]I[/i] kissing Ar…
Legolas stops talking when he sees the expression on Elrond’s face.]
and walked off in the direction of the front doors, as Arwen just stood there for a while looking very happy and very pleased with herself.
[Tadan: You know, that does imply that Legolas was with Arwen…
Aragorn: She likes to mix up pronouns.]
Legolas did for a second wonder if it was any use going to find out what Aragorn was up to,
[Elrohir: Probably off to practice bouncing on the bed again.
Elladan: He’s always working on it…
Aragorn: How would you know?
Elrohir: You’d be scared at all that we know.
Elrond: Already am.]
but in the end he decided he couldn’t be bothered because he was feeling to depressed,
[Legolas: Feeling to depressed what? What did he want to depress? Why am I stupid in every single fic?!? And why does Elrond get to be drunk before me?]
and in the end seeing Estel would just upset him more, so he stayed where he was on the window sill.
[Elrohir: So perfectly tippable…]
He had slowly started to realise that he had feelings for the human, and although he did hate to admit it to himself, he had.
[Elrond: Had? Had what?
Tadan: Vodka, maybe.
Elrohir: If I even thought you were trying to get Ada drunk…
Tadan: Hey! Aragorn started him on it!
Elrond: Had Aragorn?
Elladan: Sure, ada.
Elrohir: He’s almost as drunk as Glorfindel was the one time he went streaking through Mirkwood.
Legolas: Ada felt ill for weeks. If he’d had access to bleach I think he’d have tried to ‘cleanse’ his eyeballs.]
During the last week he had also accepted that he was feeling jealousy towards Arwen because, where before the human had also liked him, thanks to her Legolas now knew that Estel only had feelings for her. And, obviously, all this did for Legolas was make him feel really bad, and made him hate Estel all the more.
[Elrohir: Erestor might even be inspired to tear out his hair if he had to read this…
Tadan: So. Estel had liked Legolas. But he hadn’t, because he only liked Arwen. And Legolas likes Aragorn. And hates Aragorn. Yeah…]
Legolas was brought sharply out of his reverie
[Legolas: There’s that dratted Sharply Elf again…]
when he heard a knocking at his door. Thinking it was one of his good friends coming over to cheer him up, he rushed over to door with a huge smile on his face.
[Luitha: Watch out! It’s gonna turn into a beam!]
Estel’s Point of View.
After finishing with Arwen,
[Elrond: I’m shtill.. something. I have swords. Yesh. Comment on that and die.]
Estel made his way up to Legolas’s room. Of course he loved Arwen, but being with her the whole time did sometimes get a little frustrating for the poor human.
[Elrond: I am going to kill this author, slowly.
Aragorn: I’ll help.]
She was lovely and pretty and everything, but Valar, was she clingy sometimes?
[Elrohir: What is it about our sister that makes everyone hate her?
Tadan: It’s the movies. Surprised even Glorfindel isn’t writing Xenarwen fanfic.
Elladan: He’s writing anti-PJ fanfic, actually.
Elrohir: Quite amusing all the ways he can come up with to use a chalkboard eraser.]
He decided that he hadn’t had enough of fighting lately, and although he was still slightly mad at Legolas for the Wine-Event, he had mostly forgiven him,
[Aragorn: I think I make it out of this story pretty well, actually. I get many new abilities, such as being angry and forgiving at the same time.
Luitha: You lost the ability to count between one and ‘loads,’ though.
Tadan: And you keep losing your eyeballs.
Legolas: Not to mention people keep foisting beaming smiles on you.
Elladan: Also-
Aragorn: Okay, okay, I get the point!]
and had also started noticing how annoyed the elf sometimes got when he and Arwen were around. So, Estel, thinking he was clever,
[Elrohir: Poor deluded Man.
Luitha flings popcorn at Elrohir.]
decided to go and give Legolas a visit, and try and get into his ‘good books’ again.
[Tadan: So, Pratchett, Dante, those type of books instead of being in Anne Rice novels?
Luitha: Sure.
Elladan: Harlequin Romance books, actually. Aragorn has a thing for reading about manly-men and swooning bosomy women.
Elrond: Boshomy?
Tadan: Yay! I’m not the only one inventing words!]
Finally reaching the elf’s room, he knocked on the door, and was greeted by a happy, smiling Legolas.
[Legolas: Look! I can walk through doors!]
Estels’s heart leaped.
[Elrohir: And his stomach danced.
Elladan: His nose ran.
Legolas: His liver twirled.
Aragorn: All of that sounds very painful.
Elrohir: *with a wide grin* More painful than three arrows in the backside? Or about the same?
Elladan: How about as painful as a lobster stuck in your trousers?
Tadan: The best part about Elves has got to be story time with the twins.]
But only for a second, because a moment later and the smile had faded to disappointment and then anger as his beautiful smiling face turned cold, and once again those stunning grey eyes filled with such a hard, pitiless stare.
[Legolas: Angry, disappointed, cold, hard, and pitiless. The author hates me, doesn’t she?]
‘Oh,’ the stunning elf said, rather coldly,
[Tadan: Fancy that, one sentence later he’s still stunning and cold.]
‘What do you want?’
[Aragorn: (As himself) Grey Poupon, please.]
Estel cursed himself
[Aragorn: (as himself) I’m a bastard son of Melkor!
Elrohir: I thought it meant something like ‘Curse me, son of Arathorn!’
Elladan: Or ‘Curse those meddling Rangers!’]
as he entered the room and shut the door, watching Legolas go back to sit on the window sill again.
‘I was just erm, wondering, cos I know that we haven’t been speaking much lately, and erm….
[Tadan: He was just erm? Is that another name?
Luitha: Only if cos is another name for Legolas.
Tadan: Hey, Erm! How’s Cos?
Legolas: You two are dorks.
Tadan: Geeks. Get it right.
Luitha: Thought it was nerds.
Elrohir: Whatever floats your boat.]
Legolas’s Point of View.
As you could probably guess, Legolas was starting to get annoyed with the human.
[Elladan: It was all the simpering in Legolas’s favorite parts of the cave.]
You avoid going to see people for a reason, so when they come barging into your room, speaking (for the most part) gibberish, you do tend to get a little irritated at times.
[Elrohir: Do I?
Legolas: Obviously. If the horrible author says you do, then you must.]
He sighed loudly as he sat down on the window sill and looked uninterestedly at the human for a while, before getting bored of trying to understand what Estel was saying and leaning back on the side of the wall, swinging his legs back up, looking out towards the forest, the warm sun warming his face.
[Tadan: Woah. That’s all ONE sentence? She takes slaughtering the English language to a whole new level.]
It was then that Estel faltered…
[Aragorn: My falter was so important I got ellipses…]
Estel’s Point of View.
Aragorn realised he had been going on about nothing for the last few minutes - being in the elf’s presence made him unusually nervous, but his words finally failed as Legolas leant back, with the sun of his face.
[Elrohir: Sun of his face, moon of his rear. Legolas really is an astronomical marvel.
Legolas: As if you’ve ever seen my rear.
Elladan: We have. Two and a half times, in fact.
Tadan: (intrigued) How can you see someone’s behind half a time?
Elrohir: He half-flashed all of Rivendell on his exit with the Fellowship. One of many things PJ forgot to include in the movie.
Elladan: Only reason it wasn’t a complete flashing was because Gimli was right behind him.
Elrond: Poor Dwarf.]
The golden light lit up his features and shone in his silky hair, and, to the human, he looked like some dazzling god.
[Luitha: Only LIKE some dazzling god?]
His brain actually figured out that he had stopped talking,
[Elrohir: Quite the accomplishment, for a mortal.
Pillows are flung at him by the three humans: Luitha, Tadan, and Aragorn.]
and his mouth was slightly hanging open when Legolas turned to look at him.
[Legolas: (as himself) Planning on catching flies today?]
‘Estel,’ he said slowly, ‘Why are you here?’
[Aragorn: (as himself) Because some author kidnapped me and stuffed me in this awful fic! Save me! Please!]
It took a few seconds for the words to register in Estel’s mind. He finally decided mindlessly babbling wasn’t getting him anywhere.
[Aragorn: I’m stating to think the author doesn’t just hate Legolas.]
‘Urm, because, I’d like to practise fighting with you.’
[Elrohir: What, he didn’t get enough of us kicking his butt?
Elladan: If we knew you liked being beaten that much, we’d have eagerly indulged you.
Elrohir: Nothing like a legitimate excuse to beat up on a younger sibling.
Elrond: Glorfindel could beat all y’all…
Tadan: Elbereth! He’s going Southern! Quick! Get the paddles!
Luitha: Clear!
Aragorn: I swear I don’t know these two loonies.]
Direct and to the point. Legolas looked slightly unguarded for a second.
[Legolas: Blast, lost my bodyguards again. Second time this week… Maybe I should look under the heavy curtains? Nah.]
‘You… what?’
[Elrohir: Me… who?
Elladan: Her… why?
Tadan: Them… where?]
‘Well,’ Aragorn smiled sheepishly, ‘I’ve been spending quite a lot of time with Arwen lately-’
[Elrond: You hadn’t met whatsname yet!
Legolas: Number one sign you’re too drunk - you can’t remember the name of family members.
Elladan: I thought that was number two.
Elrohir: Surely number one was when you wake up, dangling from the flagpost.]
‘I had noticed,’ interjected Legolas sarcastically.
[Legolas: Now that takes talent.
Tadan: Or just blonde hair.]
‘And I haven’t done anything active with her -’
[Elrond gets up shakily, unsheathes his sword, and stalks out of the room.
Tadan: I’d be concerned if he hadn’t walked into the closet.
Elrohir: Anyone comment on him exiting said closet and they’ll have peanuts shoved up their bum faster than you can say ‘Gay means happy.’]
At this point Legolas raised an eyebrow and snorted softly.
[Elladan: I’ve heard of snorting coke, but not snorting softly.
Aragorn: Some sort of Mirkwood drug, no doubt.]
‘I must admit, it doesn’t surprise me’ he smirked, and Estel turned a powerful shade of red.
[Tadan: That there be some powerful shade of red, yessiree! Hoo boy!
Luitha: Woah doggy!]
‘Not like that!’ he hissed, very embarrassed,
[Aragorn: I’m lost. I can only think of one thing that might imply…
Tadan: Men and their one-track minds…
Aragorn: What else can it mean?
Tadan: I have no idea. I’ve just been wanting to say that since we sat down today.]
‘Anyway, I have an urge to fight, and I think you might almost equal me.’
[Elrohir: Since when might a mortal be better than an Elf when it comes to fighting?]
He finished flustered and slightly arrogant. Legolas smirked again.
[Legolas: It could be worse. I could be beaming.]
‘Oooooohh! Fighting talk!’ he said standing up, and imitating the twins, ‘Alright, I will fight you.’
[Elladan: How is that imitating us?]
Estel opened his mouth to speak, but Legolas raised his hand to stop him and walked over to stand right in front of Estel. Barely two inches apart he whispered;
‘But. It must be a real fight - not training, and no injuries, obviously,’
[Legolas: Erm. A real fight, but no injuries?
Elrohir: Makes as much sense as the rest of this fic.]
Estel’s heart was pounding. Surely being so close to the elf couldn’t be good for him?
[Tadan: Actually, four out of five dentists recommend standing only two inches away from an Elf at least twice a month.]
Legolas’s piercing eyes burned into his own.
[Tadan: Oh! I want eyes that burn!
Luitha: Pyro.]
‘What do I get if I win?’
[Aragorn: (as himself) An all-expenses-paid trip out of this tripe!]
Aragorn had not expected that question out of all.
[Luitha: Looks like Legolas is named All now.]
‘Urm, are you serious?’
[Legolas: No, I’m All. Weren’t you paying attention?]
‘Of course I’m serious,’ Legolas whispered dangerously,
[Tadan: Better watch out for those whispers…]
‘Do you really think I’d fight someone like you for fun?’
[Aragorn: (as himself) Yes, actually, I do.]
N-no, of course not,’ Estel stuttered,
[Luitha: Thank you, captain obvious.]
‘Um, okay, what would you like to win?’
[Legolas: (as himself as William Wallace) Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!]
Legolas smirked slightly and put his head on one side looking thoughtful. Aragorn’s breathing rate increased - why was legolas acting like this? He did it on purpose - the man was sure of it.
[Elrohir: Aw, look, fic-Aragorn isn’t entirely stupid! How cute.]
Legolas’s Point of View.
Legolas, as we all now know, liked to tease the ranger,
[Legolas: We do?]
and was extremely pleased when he found he could still elicit the same reactions out of the man.
[Aragorn: Same as what?]
His smirk widening ,he pressed himself right up to Estel’s body and traced light, dancing patterns on the human’s chest with the end of his finger tips.
[Tadan: What’s a dancing pattern?
Elrohir: A light, dancing pattern, no less…]
As he expected Estel’s breaths got even shorter and shallower. He watched as the human closed his eyes and swallowed hard, probably trying to calm himself down a bit, but failing miserably, because when he opened his eyes again, he groaned when he saw Legolas lick his lips as he played with the fastening of Estel’s jacket.
[Aragorn: By Elbereth Gilthoniel, if someone doesn’t find a fast-forward button soon I’m gonna carve one into the television.]
Legolas raised his eyes to look back at the human and said grinning;
[Luitha: Why did he say ‘grinning?’
Tadan: He knows that the fic-Aragorn is a bit slow, and might not figure out that Legolas was grinning without the narrative.]
‘You must not see Arwen for a whole week’
[Legolas and Aragorn: *huge sighs of relief*
Luitha: That did not go where I thought it was going.]
‘But she leaves in a week!’
[Elrohir: Good.
Elladan: Means Ada can sleep longer on the piles of coats in the closet before he has to sober up and kill someone.]
‘That’s too bad for you, isn’t it?’ he leaned round to whisper in Estel’s ear.
[Aragorn: Actually, I’m thankful that that’s what you want.]
‘Take it or leave it. Your choice.’ He then went over to his bed and swung himself onto it stretching himself out and looking questioningly up the man.
‘Well?’
‘Okay,’ Estel gulped slightly, ‘I agree to your terms, and I will fight.’
[Legolas: Smart Estel. Means I don’t have to bleach out my brain, yet.
Tadan: ‘Yet’ being the operative word there.]
‘Good, so now that’s agreed, meet me outside the main doors at nine tomorrow morning. So, bye! And enjoy the rest of your day with that clingy wimp, won’t you?’
[Tadan: ‘So, bye!’? What? I’m lost. Where did chipperness come into it?
Luitha: I’m lost every time you invent a word.
Tadan: Chipperness is a word. I used it, therefore it is.
Luitha snickers.]
Legolas laughed softly as Aragorn frowned slightly at him and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
[Legolas: So good he can close the door he NEVER OPENED.]
He laid back on his bed, arms behind his head.
[Luitha: Thanks to the author’s constant use of vague pronouns, Aragorn is not only outside of the room, he’s laying on the bed with Legolas too.]
This would be fun. How obvious was it that Legolas would win?
[Elrohir: Quite.]
And then Estel wouldn’t be able to see Arwen, and then, who else would he have to socialise with?
[Aragorn: My foster father, maybe? The twins? The many OTHER Elves in Mirkwood? Heck, if all else fails, we know the spiders were at least semi-intelligent.]
Just Legolas - unless he wanted boring grown-ups or annoying twins.
[Elrohir: We are not annoying.
Elladan: We’re rather charming, actually.
Elrohir: And handsome.
Elladan: And amusing.
Elrohir: Not to mention charming.
Aragorn: And arrogant.
Elladan: We’re clever too.
Tadan: And you’re getting annoying.
Luitha: Point to Tadan.]
One way ticket to success…….
[Tadan: I would kill to be on that plane/train/thingy.
Luitha: I hear it leaves from platform 3.14159...
Elrohir: Ah, so success is irrational, then?]
He woke next morning, and after dressing to his usual stunning level,
[Elladan: Little known fact about Mirkwood - they had charts on all their walls about how to dress. Legolas liked to dress at the stunning level, while Thranduil liked to dress to the captivating level, as experienced by Thorin, Bilbo, and co.]
he went down to breakfast, and spent the whole meal smirking at Estel, who started to look slightly nervous. When the time came, he met the ranger
[Tadan: I thought Ranger was a title earned after you’d had some experience with them. Didn’t know it was a birthright.]
as they agreed the day before, and he led him to a clearing that the elves used as a fighting ground.
[Elrohir: A clearing just for fighting? Ritzy.]
‘So, here we are.’ he said, taking off his silvery tunic.
[Legolas: (as himself) And now, shall we dance?
Aragorn: (as himself) One, two, three…
Legolas: On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Luitha throws a pillow at each of them.]
‘What do we fight with?’ asked Aragorn uncertainly.
[Tadan: Flamethrowers!]
‘Our bare hands of course,’
[Tadan: Phooey.]
said Legolas matter-of factly. ‘Poor, dear, clueless Estel,’ he added in mock-sympathy.
[Elrohir: Um, actually, that wasn’t a stupid question, seeing as Elves have quite the variety of weaponry to use…
Legolas: Swords, knives, spears…
Elladan: Halibut.]
‘So, let’s begin.’ He then dived at Estel, who’s reaction times weren’t exactly perfect, and he was knocked to the floor and crushed below Legolas.
[Tadan: And here we have yet another excellent example of the author’s pronoun use. She’s written that Legolas dived at Estel, but then Legolas was knocked to the floor and crushed below himself.
Elladan: Now that takes talent.]
He quickly recovered his senses,
[Aragorn: Who?
Elrohir: I think you recovered Legolas’ senses. Makes as much sense as anything else does, at least.]
and soon Legolas found himself rolled over on the ground and Estel was stood up ready was Legolas’s next move.
[Tadan: Ready was Legolas’ next move?
Luitha: Hungry Yoda was.]
Legolas jumped up from the grass in one fluid move and again advanced towards Estel. And so, the fight began……….
[Aragorn: I could have sworn it started back when those darn walls showed up.]
Despite what Legolas might have originally thought, Estel was tougher than he might have guessed, and two hours later, although slightly tired, neither were ready to give in…. Legolas might start to get annoyed soon…..
[Luitha: And readers might get annoyed at the over-use of might.]
Estel’s point of View
Estel had guessed that Legolas would have thought that he was weaker than he actually was, and as he wasn’t giving in, and neither was Legolas, it was actually starting to become quite fun fighting like this.
[Tadan: I’m beginning to think there is a reason the Klingons don’t have a word for ‘to be.’
He had never done it this way, and it was a new experience - something new from the usual mundane practises he usually had to do.
[Elrohir: I dare anyone to tell Glorfindel that the practices are mundane.]
And he thought it was going very well. Until…..
[Tadan: Until the PPC rode in and killed the author. Whoops, sorry, mixing fantasy with travesty. Won’t happen again, I swear, officer…]
‘Aragorn! Aragorn!’ Estel closed his eyes in horror as he realised who’s voice it was, and breathed in deeply.
[Aragorn: I closed my eyes in the middle of a fight? I don’t think this author knows anything…
Legolas was not going to like this at all.
[Legolas: I really don’t like ANY of this at all, to be honest.]
Legolas’s Point of View.
The elf froze as he heard the female voice calling, and watched as Estel closed his eyes in dismay.
[Legolas: So why didn’t I take the opportunity to knock him unconscious?]
Legolas had thought it was going very well until now. He looked up as Arwen came round the corner.
[Luitha: How did she know it was Aragorn before she came around the corner?
Elladan: We always knew. Those grunting noises he made when he was getting his butt kicked could be heard all the way in the Grey Havens.]
‘What is she doing here?’ he asked Estel icily.
[Tadan: So that’s Aragorn’s last name, then? Icily? Might explain a bit.
Aragorn throws a pillow at her.
Tadan: Yes! He’s out of pillows! Next he has to throw the matches, preciousssss…]
‘I - I don’t know,’ the man returned pathetically.
[Luitha: Makes sense, actually. Some return bad Christmas gifts, he returns pathetically.]
Legolas got up as from where he was straddling Estel
[Legolas: NO! That’s just wrong!]
with his arm over the ranger’s neck, slightly constricting his airway, as Arwen came rushing over.
‘Estel! Estel!’ she shrieked, ‘What was he doing to you?’
[Aragorn: (as himself) It’s not what it looks like, I swear! He was trying to kill me, not anything else!
Luitha: (as Arwen) Oh, now that’s a relief. I thought for a minute… ugh, it’s too disgusting to contemplate. Carry on, then.]
Legolas stood with his arms folded as he watched the she-elf simper
[Elrohir: Hee hee. The author said simper.
Elladan: Heh. ‘Simper.’
Elrond: (from inside the closet still) I heard that!
Elrohir: Whoops.]
over Aragron, and he heard him say;
‘Nothing Arwen, we were just trying to have some fun’
[Aragorn: (as Bilbo) It was just a bit of fun!
Tadan: (as Pippin) The big one! The big one!
Elrohir: What does that have to do with the scene?
Tadan: Absolutely nothing. I just like the quote.]
She suddenly turned on Legolas.
‘What were you DOING TO HIM? You were HURTING HIM!’
[Legolas: (as himself) We were fighting. That’s sort of THE POINT!
Aragorn: LOOK! I can TALK IN CAPS too!
Tadan: NIFTY!]
Legolas lost it.
[Legolas: (as himself) What is up with this? I lose my eyeballs, and now I lose it?]
Grabbing a smooth, sharp elven-knife from his tunic and, advancing towards Arwen, he held it out in front of him threateningly, until she reached a tree and could reverse no further.
[Elves: *aghast*
Tadan: See? Told you there would be a Kinslaying attempt.]
Before she could move one more muscle, Legolas had leapt forward and was holding the knife at her neck.
[Legolas: And I thought the author knew nothing about Elves before…]
‘What exactly is your problem?’ he whispered perilously soft.
[Elrohir: He’s on the verge of Kinslaying and he asks her what HER problem is?]
‘Nothing! Nothing at all! Please, Legolas, please don’t hurt me!’
[The whole couch is speechless, staring.]
she squeaked back. No words were needed to know how angry he was and how much he hated Arwen. It was no normal hatred, but a pure, wholesome hatred, which even radiated form his very being.
[Elrohir: A) Wholesome hatred? What sort of crap is that?
Elladan: Pure? PURE? So pure he could KILL ANOTHER ELF?
Elves: *having fits*]
‘WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS? WHY?’ Legolas suddenly yelled, ‘CAN YOU NOT TELL I AM COMPLETELY FALLING FOR THIS HUMAN? I KNOW I CAN’T HAVE HIM, BECAUSE HE’S SO IN LOVE WITH A STUPID PATHETIC THING LIKE YOU, AND ALL I WANTED WAS FOR A MOMENTS WITH HIM ALONE, BUT I CAN’T! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! I WILL DIE SOON, DO YOU KNOW THAT? MY LOVE FOR HIM WILL CONSUME ME, AND SOON ENOUGH MY HEART WILL BREAK AND THEN I WILL DIE! I HATE YOU! I HAVE NEVER EVER HATED ANYONE AS I HATE YOU! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!‘ he pressed forward with his knife, a completely murderous glint in his eyes.
[Tadan: I don’t think there is anything that can be said here. The text does it all by itself.]
Estel’s Point of view.
Estel watched in horror as Arwen screamed and blood started to drip slowly down her chest, soon turning into a relatively steady flow.
[Aragorn: He what?]
He lunged forward at Legolas screaming for help.
[Legolas: Please tell me fic-Legolas gets the pants beaten off of him.]
Arwen collapsed to the ground as human and elf entered a brutal, vicious fight - Legolas because he was so angry at everything, and Estel, for his life.
[Legolas: What, he’s going to kill Aragorn too? I don’t have words for how messed up this is.
Elrohir: Bastard son of Gothmog doesn’t even come close…]
However, a number of elves had run at hearing Aragorn’s and Arwen’s screams, and soon they had Legolas under control.
[Elladan: This is where we need random ropes. Please.]
Estel collapsed in exhaustion as they pulled the still-fighting elf of him and started to drag him away.
[Tadan: For the sake of the fact that this needs humor, I’ll have to point out that they’re dragging Aragorn away.]
He rushed over to Arwen, but she was unconscious. Five other elves quickly picked her up and carried her off swiftly towards the palace for treatment.
[Luitha: You know how heavy they’re implying Arwen is?
Tadan: And why haul her all the way to a palace when the caves are right there?]
Estel’s head was spinning.
[Aragorn: (as himself) You bet it is!
Elrohir: So is mine…
Elladan: Mine too.
Legolas: Mine three. Or four. Can’t tell, my head is spinning too much.]
What Legolas had said, how Legolas had tried to kill Arwen and how ferociously he had tried to hurt the human himself were turning around and around in his head, and deciding he could take no more, he ran to his room tears streaming down his face, collapsed onto his bed and cried himself to sleep.
[Elrohir: Can we do that too, please?]
A/N: So, is this the end of Aragorn and Legolas forever? Only next chapter will tell, I’m afraid…..
[Aragorn: Please, please, please be the end.]
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah…..
[Elladan: When she says review, do you think she wants flames?
Tadan: I like flames.
Luitha: That’s because you’re loony.]
Angstgoddess69
xxxxx
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nadat/Tadan
And while I understand that one apartmentmate has about five guys she's stringing along who all are in lust, you would think she'd tell them not to send gifts. At least one of them will be over tonight, and what happens when they see all the piles of chocolate and bouquets of flowers with her name on them? She'll be high, as always, and won't think to take them off... That will cause yet another yelling fight at 3am. One day maybe she'll learn, though I doubt it. She didn't learn not to drink and drive after her DUI arrest. She didn't learn not to get high EVERY SINGLE NIGHT after failing most of her classes. Oh well. Maybe I'll write my next short story about her.
Long live Singles Awareness Day, and maybe I'll find a guy someday who is worth the time. *snickers* Yeah, right.
[The crew has reconvened in the living room. Elrond is methodically de-shelling peanuts to use as ammo and is still a bit drunk, Tadan has snuck a lighter into a pocket, and the twins and Legolas have lots of popcorn to throw at the screen. Luitha is currently sneaking a hand into Aragorn’s pocket.]
So, the drama finally continues. How will it go? How will Legolas react to Aragron and Arwen?
[Legolas: I’d leave them alone.]
Well, read on to find out…….
[Elrond: Do we have to? I’d rather be doing... anything]
Thanks to; tmelange, Legolas 19, Eryn Galen, DragonBlade, bradleigh, random reviewer, ak-stinger, Magda, lillypotterfan, sumisweet x3, Luna Lovegood, Hana, and Jason. I love you all, and may you live forever in peace. J I hope you like this chapter as much as you liked the others………
Disclaimer: I still do not own ANYTHING in this story, apart from the actual story-line, which isn’t too much to be proud of anyway……..
[Aragorn: Now she tells us?]
Two weeks.
[Tadan: Is how long every sentence in this train-wreck seems to take.]
For two long weeks Legolas had had to put up with the two lovers,
[Elrond: LOVERS???
Elrond pulls out his sword, staggering slightly.
Tadan: Erm. I thought we said no one was supposed to be armed at these things, some sort of unofficial rule…
Elrohir: Ada…
Elladan: Breathe. Please.
Aragorn: You know how far off the author has been with everything else.
Legolas: Do you really think I would flirt with a MAN?
Elrond breathes.
Luitha: Put the sword down, please.
Elrond sheathes the sword.
Elrond: I will kill this author, many times.
Tadan: And we’ll look forward to it.
Luitha: And sell tickets to it.
Tadan: You could kill the author to Celebrian too, while you’re at it.]
the human and the she-elf, simpering over each other. Normally, it wouldn’t bother him, but they seemed to do it EVERYWHERE!!!! Not only in the gardens, the forest, various rooms in the palace, but stupid places, like at breakfast, at fighting or shooting practice, in the stables - quite literally everywhere, all the time.
[Elrond: For clarification, when the author talksh about ‘doing it everywhere’, she means shimperinging. And I will hear no other translalations of that. Am I clear?
Everyone else nods while eyeing the sheathed sword.]
‘Of course,’ thought Legolas to himself, ‘it has nothing to do with WHO it is. Nothing to do with the human. Nope. Not at all. Never. Well, maybe just a bit…….’ He sighed mournfully to himself.
[Tadan: Wait, is he implying that Arwen would, um, simper, with anyone?
Luitha: I think it means he’s sickened because it’s Aragorn, ahem, simpering.
Tadan: Ah. So simpering is what Elves call it?
Elrond: What did I shay?
Tadan: Something about translations. But we’re not translating. We’re implying.
Elrond: No other implications either!]
He was totally turning into a hopeless case.
[Elrohir: Like, totally.
Elladan: For sure.
Elrohir: I just got a manicure.
Elladan: The sun, I swear-
Tadan: They’ve gone Valley Girl! Flee for your lives!]
He was sitting with his legs up on his window-sill, facing the sunset, watching it turn from yellow slowly to gold.
[Elrohir: What I wouldn’t give to be able to give him a little nudge and watch him topple…]
Soon, he heard laughter below him, and looked down to the gardens to see Estel and Arwen strolling along together hand-in-hand, giggling and chattering. Lightning bolts of hatred and jealousy coursed through Legolas’s blood as he watched them.
[Luitha: Wouldn’t that hurt?]
He watched as the kissed in front of the fountain, before he said goodbye to her
[Legolas: Wait, was [i]I[/i] kissing Ar…
Legolas stops talking when he sees the expression on Elrond’s face.]
and walked off in the direction of the front doors, as Arwen just stood there for a while looking very happy and very pleased with herself.
[Tadan: You know, that does imply that Legolas was with Arwen…
Aragorn: She likes to mix up pronouns.]
Legolas did for a second wonder if it was any use going to find out what Aragorn was up to,
[Elrohir: Probably off to practice bouncing on the bed again.
Elladan: He’s always working on it…
Aragorn: How would you know?
Elrohir: You’d be scared at all that we know.
Elrond: Already am.]
but in the end he decided he couldn’t be bothered because he was feeling to depressed,
[Legolas: Feeling to depressed what? What did he want to depress? Why am I stupid in every single fic?!? And why does Elrond get to be drunk before me?]
and in the end seeing Estel would just upset him more, so he stayed where he was on the window sill.
[Elrohir: So perfectly tippable…]
He had slowly started to realise that he had feelings for the human, and although he did hate to admit it to himself, he had.
[Elrond: Had? Had what?
Tadan: Vodka, maybe.
Elrohir: If I even thought you were trying to get Ada drunk…
Tadan: Hey! Aragorn started him on it!
Elrond: Had Aragorn?
Elladan: Sure, ada.
Elrohir: He’s almost as drunk as Glorfindel was the one time he went streaking through Mirkwood.
Legolas: Ada felt ill for weeks. If he’d had access to bleach I think he’d have tried to ‘cleanse’ his eyeballs.]
During the last week he had also accepted that he was feeling jealousy towards Arwen because, where before the human had also liked him, thanks to her Legolas now knew that Estel only had feelings for her. And, obviously, all this did for Legolas was make him feel really bad, and made him hate Estel all the more.
[Elrohir: Erestor might even be inspired to tear out his hair if he had to read this…
Tadan: So. Estel had liked Legolas. But he hadn’t, because he only liked Arwen. And Legolas likes Aragorn. And hates Aragorn. Yeah…]
Legolas was brought sharply out of his reverie
[Legolas: There’s that dratted Sharply Elf again…]
when he heard a knocking at his door. Thinking it was one of his good friends coming over to cheer him up, he rushed over to door with a huge smile on his face.
[Luitha: Watch out! It’s gonna turn into a beam!]
Estel’s Point of View.
After finishing with Arwen,
[Elrond: I’m shtill.. something. I have swords. Yesh. Comment on that and die.]
Estel made his way up to Legolas’s room. Of course he loved Arwen, but being with her the whole time did sometimes get a little frustrating for the poor human.
[Elrond: I am going to kill this author, slowly.
Aragorn: I’ll help.]
She was lovely and pretty and everything, but Valar, was she clingy sometimes?
[Elrohir: What is it about our sister that makes everyone hate her?
Tadan: It’s the movies. Surprised even Glorfindel isn’t writing Xenarwen fanfic.
Elladan: He’s writing anti-PJ fanfic, actually.
Elrohir: Quite amusing all the ways he can come up with to use a chalkboard eraser.]
He decided that he hadn’t had enough of fighting lately, and although he was still slightly mad at Legolas for the Wine-Event, he had mostly forgiven him,
[Aragorn: I think I make it out of this story pretty well, actually. I get many new abilities, such as being angry and forgiving at the same time.
Luitha: You lost the ability to count between one and ‘loads,’ though.
Tadan: And you keep losing your eyeballs.
Legolas: Not to mention people keep foisting beaming smiles on you.
Elladan: Also-
Aragorn: Okay, okay, I get the point!]
and had also started noticing how annoyed the elf sometimes got when he and Arwen were around. So, Estel, thinking he was clever,
[Elrohir: Poor deluded Man.
Luitha flings popcorn at Elrohir.]
decided to go and give Legolas a visit, and try and get into his ‘good books’ again.
[Tadan: So, Pratchett, Dante, those type of books instead of being in Anne Rice novels?
Luitha: Sure.
Elladan: Harlequin Romance books, actually. Aragorn has a thing for reading about manly-men and swooning bosomy women.
Elrond: Boshomy?
Tadan: Yay! I’m not the only one inventing words!]
Finally reaching the elf’s room, he knocked on the door, and was greeted by a happy, smiling Legolas.
[Legolas: Look! I can walk through doors!]
Estels’s heart leaped.
[Elrohir: And his stomach danced.
Elladan: His nose ran.
Legolas: His liver twirled.
Aragorn: All of that sounds very painful.
Elrohir: *with a wide grin* More painful than three arrows in the backside? Or about the same?
Elladan: How about as painful as a lobster stuck in your trousers?
Tadan: The best part about Elves has got to be story time with the twins.]
But only for a second, because a moment later and the smile had faded to disappointment and then anger as his beautiful smiling face turned cold, and once again those stunning grey eyes filled with such a hard, pitiless stare.
[Legolas: Angry, disappointed, cold, hard, and pitiless. The author hates me, doesn’t she?]
‘Oh,’ the stunning elf said, rather coldly,
[Tadan: Fancy that, one sentence later he’s still stunning and cold.]
‘What do you want?’
[Aragorn: (As himself) Grey Poupon, please.]
Estel cursed himself
[Aragorn: (as himself) I’m a bastard son of Melkor!
Elrohir: I thought it meant something like ‘Curse me, son of Arathorn!’
Elladan: Or ‘Curse those meddling Rangers!’]
as he entered the room and shut the door, watching Legolas go back to sit on the window sill again.
‘I was just erm, wondering, cos I know that we haven’t been speaking much lately, and erm….
[Tadan: He was just erm? Is that another name?
Luitha: Only if cos is another name for Legolas.
Tadan: Hey, Erm! How’s Cos?
Legolas: You two are dorks.
Tadan: Geeks. Get it right.
Luitha: Thought it was nerds.
Elrohir: Whatever floats your boat.]
Legolas’s Point of View.
As you could probably guess, Legolas was starting to get annoyed with the human.
[Elladan: It was all the simpering in Legolas’s favorite parts of the cave.]
You avoid going to see people for a reason, so when they come barging into your room, speaking (for the most part) gibberish, you do tend to get a little irritated at times.
[Elrohir: Do I?
Legolas: Obviously. If the horrible author says you do, then you must.]
He sighed loudly as he sat down on the window sill and looked uninterestedly at the human for a while, before getting bored of trying to understand what Estel was saying and leaning back on the side of the wall, swinging his legs back up, looking out towards the forest, the warm sun warming his face.
[Tadan: Woah. That’s all ONE sentence? She takes slaughtering the English language to a whole new level.]
It was then that Estel faltered…
[Aragorn: My falter was so important I got ellipses…]
Estel’s Point of View.
Aragorn realised he had been going on about nothing for the last few minutes - being in the elf’s presence made him unusually nervous, but his words finally failed as Legolas leant back, with the sun of his face.
[Elrohir: Sun of his face, moon of his rear. Legolas really is an astronomical marvel.
Legolas: As if you’ve ever seen my rear.
Elladan: We have. Two and a half times, in fact.
Tadan: (intrigued) How can you see someone’s behind half a time?
Elrohir: He half-flashed all of Rivendell on his exit with the Fellowship. One of many things PJ forgot to include in the movie.
Elladan: Only reason it wasn’t a complete flashing was because Gimli was right behind him.
Elrond: Poor Dwarf.]
The golden light lit up his features and shone in his silky hair, and, to the human, he looked like some dazzling god.
[Luitha: Only LIKE some dazzling god?]
His brain actually figured out that he had stopped talking,
[Elrohir: Quite the accomplishment, for a mortal.
Pillows are flung at him by the three humans: Luitha, Tadan, and Aragorn.]
and his mouth was slightly hanging open when Legolas turned to look at him.
[Legolas: (as himself) Planning on catching flies today?]
‘Estel,’ he said slowly, ‘Why are you here?’
[Aragorn: (as himself) Because some author kidnapped me and stuffed me in this awful fic! Save me! Please!]
It took a few seconds for the words to register in Estel’s mind. He finally decided mindlessly babbling wasn’t getting him anywhere.
[Aragorn: I’m stating to think the author doesn’t just hate Legolas.]
‘Urm, because, I’d like to practise fighting with you.’
[Elrohir: What, he didn’t get enough of us kicking his butt?
Elladan: If we knew you liked being beaten that much, we’d have eagerly indulged you.
Elrohir: Nothing like a legitimate excuse to beat up on a younger sibling.
Elrond: Glorfindel could beat all y’all…
Tadan: Elbereth! He’s going Southern! Quick! Get the paddles!
Luitha: Clear!
Aragorn: I swear I don’t know these two loonies.]
Direct and to the point. Legolas looked slightly unguarded for a second.
[Legolas: Blast, lost my bodyguards again. Second time this week… Maybe I should look under the heavy curtains? Nah.]
‘You… what?’
[Elrohir: Me… who?
Elladan: Her… why?
Tadan: Them… where?]
‘Well,’ Aragorn smiled sheepishly, ‘I’ve been spending quite a lot of time with Arwen lately-’
[Elrond: You hadn’t met whatsname yet!
Legolas: Number one sign you’re too drunk - you can’t remember the name of family members.
Elladan: I thought that was number two.
Elrohir: Surely number one was when you wake up, dangling from the flagpost.]
‘I had noticed,’ interjected Legolas sarcastically.
[Legolas: Now that takes talent.
Tadan: Or just blonde hair.]
‘And I haven’t done anything active with her -’
[Elrond gets up shakily, unsheathes his sword, and stalks out of the room.
Tadan: I’d be concerned if he hadn’t walked into the closet.
Elrohir: Anyone comment on him exiting said closet and they’ll have peanuts shoved up their bum faster than you can say ‘Gay means happy.’]
At this point Legolas raised an eyebrow and snorted softly.
[Elladan: I’ve heard of snorting coke, but not snorting softly.
Aragorn: Some sort of Mirkwood drug, no doubt.]
‘I must admit, it doesn’t surprise me’ he smirked, and Estel turned a powerful shade of red.
[Tadan: That there be some powerful shade of red, yessiree! Hoo boy!
Luitha: Woah doggy!]
‘Not like that!’ he hissed, very embarrassed,
[Aragorn: I’m lost. I can only think of one thing that might imply…
Tadan: Men and their one-track minds…
Aragorn: What else can it mean?
Tadan: I have no idea. I’ve just been wanting to say that since we sat down today.]
‘Anyway, I have an urge to fight, and I think you might almost equal me.’
[Elrohir: Since when might a mortal be better than an Elf when it comes to fighting?]
He finished flustered and slightly arrogant. Legolas smirked again.
[Legolas: It could be worse. I could be beaming.]
‘Oooooohh! Fighting talk!’ he said standing up, and imitating the twins, ‘Alright, I will fight you.’
[Elladan: How is that imitating us?]
Estel opened his mouth to speak, but Legolas raised his hand to stop him and walked over to stand right in front of Estel. Barely two inches apart he whispered;
‘But. It must be a real fight - not training, and no injuries, obviously,’
[Legolas: Erm. A real fight, but no injuries?
Elrohir: Makes as much sense as the rest of this fic.]
Estel’s heart was pounding. Surely being so close to the elf couldn’t be good for him?
[Tadan: Actually, four out of five dentists recommend standing only two inches away from an Elf at least twice a month.]
Legolas’s piercing eyes burned into his own.
[Tadan: Oh! I want eyes that burn!
Luitha: Pyro.]
‘What do I get if I win?’
[Aragorn: (as himself) An all-expenses-paid trip out of this tripe!]
Aragorn had not expected that question out of all.
[Luitha: Looks like Legolas is named All now.]
‘Urm, are you serious?’
[Legolas: No, I’m All. Weren’t you paying attention?]
‘Of course I’m serious,’ Legolas whispered dangerously,
[Tadan: Better watch out for those whispers…]
‘Do you really think I’d fight someone like you for fun?’
[Aragorn: (as himself) Yes, actually, I do.]
N-no, of course not,’ Estel stuttered,
[Luitha: Thank you, captain obvious.]
‘Um, okay, what would you like to win?’
[Legolas: (as himself as William Wallace) Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!]
Legolas smirked slightly and put his head on one side looking thoughtful. Aragorn’s breathing rate increased - why was legolas acting like this? He did it on purpose - the man was sure of it.
[Elrohir: Aw, look, fic-Aragorn isn’t entirely stupid! How cute.]
Legolas’s Point of View.
Legolas, as we all now know, liked to tease the ranger,
[Legolas: We do?]
and was extremely pleased when he found he could still elicit the same reactions out of the man.
[Aragorn: Same as what?]
His smirk widening ,he pressed himself right up to Estel’s body and traced light, dancing patterns on the human’s chest with the end of his finger tips.
[Tadan: What’s a dancing pattern?
Elrohir: A light, dancing pattern, no less…]
As he expected Estel’s breaths got even shorter and shallower. He watched as the human closed his eyes and swallowed hard, probably trying to calm himself down a bit, but failing miserably, because when he opened his eyes again, he groaned when he saw Legolas lick his lips as he played with the fastening of Estel’s jacket.
[Aragorn: By Elbereth Gilthoniel, if someone doesn’t find a fast-forward button soon I’m gonna carve one into the television.]
Legolas raised his eyes to look back at the human and said grinning;
[Luitha: Why did he say ‘grinning?’
Tadan: He knows that the fic-Aragorn is a bit slow, and might not figure out that Legolas was grinning without the narrative.]
‘You must not see Arwen for a whole week’
[Legolas and Aragorn: *huge sighs of relief*
Luitha: That did not go where I thought it was going.]
‘But she leaves in a week!’
[Elrohir: Good.
Elladan: Means Ada can sleep longer on the piles of coats in the closet before he has to sober up and kill someone.]
‘That’s too bad for you, isn’t it?’ he leaned round to whisper in Estel’s ear.
[Aragorn: Actually, I’m thankful that that’s what you want.]
‘Take it or leave it. Your choice.’ He then went over to his bed and swung himself onto it stretching himself out and looking questioningly up the man.
‘Well?’
‘Okay,’ Estel gulped slightly, ‘I agree to your terms, and I will fight.’
[Legolas: Smart Estel. Means I don’t have to bleach out my brain, yet.
Tadan: ‘Yet’ being the operative word there.]
‘Good, so now that’s agreed, meet me outside the main doors at nine tomorrow morning. So, bye! And enjoy the rest of your day with that clingy wimp, won’t you?’
[Tadan: ‘So, bye!’? What? I’m lost. Where did chipperness come into it?
Luitha: I’m lost every time you invent a word.
Tadan: Chipperness is a word. I used it, therefore it is.
Luitha snickers.]
Legolas laughed softly as Aragorn frowned slightly at him and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
[Legolas: So good he can close the door he NEVER OPENED.]
He laid back on his bed, arms behind his head.
[Luitha: Thanks to the author’s constant use of vague pronouns, Aragorn is not only outside of the room, he’s laying on the bed with Legolas too.]
This would be fun. How obvious was it that Legolas would win?
[Elrohir: Quite.]
And then Estel wouldn’t be able to see Arwen, and then, who else would he have to socialise with?
[Aragorn: My foster father, maybe? The twins? The many OTHER Elves in Mirkwood? Heck, if all else fails, we know the spiders were at least semi-intelligent.]
Just Legolas - unless he wanted boring grown-ups or annoying twins.
[Elrohir: We are not annoying.
Elladan: We’re rather charming, actually.
Elrohir: And handsome.
Elladan: And amusing.
Elrohir: Not to mention charming.
Aragorn: And arrogant.
Elladan: We’re clever too.
Tadan: And you’re getting annoying.
Luitha: Point to Tadan.]
One way ticket to success…….
[Tadan: I would kill to be on that plane/train/thingy.
Luitha: I hear it leaves from platform 3.14159...
Elrohir: Ah, so success is irrational, then?]
He woke next morning, and after dressing to his usual stunning level,
[Elladan: Little known fact about Mirkwood - they had charts on all their walls about how to dress. Legolas liked to dress at the stunning level, while Thranduil liked to dress to the captivating level, as experienced by Thorin, Bilbo, and co.]
he went down to breakfast, and spent the whole meal smirking at Estel, who started to look slightly nervous. When the time came, he met the ranger
[Tadan: I thought Ranger was a title earned after you’d had some experience with them. Didn’t know it was a birthright.]
as they agreed the day before, and he led him to a clearing that the elves used as a fighting ground.
[Elrohir: A clearing just for fighting? Ritzy.]
‘So, here we are.’ he said, taking off his silvery tunic.
[Legolas: (as himself) And now, shall we dance?
Aragorn: (as himself) One, two, three…
Legolas: On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Luitha throws a pillow at each of them.]
‘What do we fight with?’ asked Aragorn uncertainly.
[Tadan: Flamethrowers!]
‘Our bare hands of course,’
[Tadan: Phooey.]
said Legolas matter-of factly. ‘Poor, dear, clueless Estel,’ he added in mock-sympathy.
[Elrohir: Um, actually, that wasn’t a stupid question, seeing as Elves have quite the variety of weaponry to use…
Legolas: Swords, knives, spears…
Elladan: Halibut.]
‘So, let’s begin.’ He then dived at Estel, who’s reaction times weren’t exactly perfect, and he was knocked to the floor and crushed below Legolas.
[Tadan: And here we have yet another excellent example of the author’s pronoun use. She’s written that Legolas dived at Estel, but then Legolas was knocked to the floor and crushed below himself.
Elladan: Now that takes talent.]
He quickly recovered his senses,
[Aragorn: Who?
Elrohir: I think you recovered Legolas’ senses. Makes as much sense as anything else does, at least.]
and soon Legolas found himself rolled over on the ground and Estel was stood up ready was Legolas’s next move.
[Tadan: Ready was Legolas’ next move?
Luitha: Hungry Yoda was.]
Legolas jumped up from the grass in one fluid move and again advanced towards Estel. And so, the fight began……….
[Aragorn: I could have sworn it started back when those darn walls showed up.]
Despite what Legolas might have originally thought, Estel was tougher than he might have guessed, and two hours later, although slightly tired, neither were ready to give in…. Legolas might start to get annoyed soon…..
[Luitha: And readers might get annoyed at the over-use of might.]
Estel’s point of View
Estel had guessed that Legolas would have thought that he was weaker than he actually was, and as he wasn’t giving in, and neither was Legolas, it was actually starting to become quite fun fighting like this.
[Tadan: I’m beginning to think there is a reason the Klingons don’t have a word for ‘to be.’
He had never done it this way, and it was a new experience - something new from the usual mundane practises he usually had to do.
[Elrohir: I dare anyone to tell Glorfindel that the practices are mundane.]
And he thought it was going very well. Until…..
[Tadan: Until the PPC rode in and killed the author. Whoops, sorry, mixing fantasy with travesty. Won’t happen again, I swear, officer…]
‘Aragorn! Aragorn!’ Estel closed his eyes in horror as he realised who’s voice it was, and breathed in deeply.
[Aragorn: I closed my eyes in the middle of a fight? I don’t think this author knows anything…
Legolas was not going to like this at all.
[Legolas: I really don’t like ANY of this at all, to be honest.]
Legolas’s Point of View.
The elf froze as he heard the female voice calling, and watched as Estel closed his eyes in dismay.
[Legolas: So why didn’t I take the opportunity to knock him unconscious?]
Legolas had thought it was going very well until now. He looked up as Arwen came round the corner.
[Luitha: How did she know it was Aragorn before she came around the corner?
Elladan: We always knew. Those grunting noises he made when he was getting his butt kicked could be heard all the way in the Grey Havens.]
‘What is she doing here?’ he asked Estel icily.
[Tadan: So that’s Aragorn’s last name, then? Icily? Might explain a bit.
Aragorn throws a pillow at her.
Tadan: Yes! He’s out of pillows! Next he has to throw the matches, preciousssss…]
‘I - I don’t know,’ the man returned pathetically.
[Luitha: Makes sense, actually. Some return bad Christmas gifts, he returns pathetically.]
Legolas got up as from where he was straddling Estel
[Legolas: NO! That’s just wrong!]
with his arm over the ranger’s neck, slightly constricting his airway, as Arwen came rushing over.
‘Estel! Estel!’ she shrieked, ‘What was he doing to you?’
[Aragorn: (as himself) It’s not what it looks like, I swear! He was trying to kill me, not anything else!
Luitha: (as Arwen) Oh, now that’s a relief. I thought for a minute… ugh, it’s too disgusting to contemplate. Carry on, then.]
Legolas stood with his arms folded as he watched the she-elf simper
[Elrohir: Hee hee. The author said simper.
Elladan: Heh. ‘Simper.’
Elrond: (from inside the closet still) I heard that!
Elrohir: Whoops.]
over Aragron, and he heard him say;
‘Nothing Arwen, we were just trying to have some fun’
[Aragorn: (as Bilbo) It was just a bit of fun!
Tadan: (as Pippin) The big one! The big one!
Elrohir: What does that have to do with the scene?
Tadan: Absolutely nothing. I just like the quote.]
She suddenly turned on Legolas.
‘What were you DOING TO HIM? You were HURTING HIM!’
[Legolas: (as himself) We were fighting. That’s sort of THE POINT!
Aragorn: LOOK! I can TALK IN CAPS too!
Tadan: NIFTY!]
Legolas lost it.
[Legolas: (as himself) What is up with this? I lose my eyeballs, and now I lose it?]
Grabbing a smooth, sharp elven-knife from his tunic and, advancing towards Arwen, he held it out in front of him threateningly, until she reached a tree and could reverse no further.
[Elves: *aghast*
Tadan: See? Told you there would be a Kinslaying attempt.]
Before she could move one more muscle, Legolas had leapt forward and was holding the knife at her neck.
[Legolas: And I thought the author knew nothing about Elves before…]
‘What exactly is your problem?’ he whispered perilously soft.
[Elrohir: He’s on the verge of Kinslaying and he asks her what HER problem is?]
‘Nothing! Nothing at all! Please, Legolas, please don’t hurt me!’
[The whole couch is speechless, staring.]
she squeaked back. No words were needed to know how angry he was and how much he hated Arwen. It was no normal hatred, but a pure, wholesome hatred, which even radiated form his very being.
[Elrohir: A) Wholesome hatred? What sort of crap is that?
Elladan: Pure? PURE? So pure he could KILL ANOTHER ELF?
Elves: *having fits*]
‘WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS? WHY?’ Legolas suddenly yelled, ‘CAN YOU NOT TELL I AM COMPLETELY FALLING FOR THIS HUMAN? I KNOW I CAN’T HAVE HIM, BECAUSE HE’S SO IN LOVE WITH A STUPID PATHETIC THING LIKE YOU, AND ALL I WANTED WAS FOR A MOMENTS WITH HIM ALONE, BUT I CAN’T! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! I WILL DIE SOON, DO YOU KNOW THAT? MY LOVE FOR HIM WILL CONSUME ME, AND SOON ENOUGH MY HEART WILL BREAK AND THEN I WILL DIE! I HATE YOU! I HAVE NEVER EVER HATED ANYONE AS I HATE YOU! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!‘ he pressed forward with his knife, a completely murderous glint in his eyes.
[Tadan: I don’t think there is anything that can be said here. The text does it all by itself.]
Estel’s Point of view.
Estel watched in horror as Arwen screamed and blood started to drip slowly down her chest, soon turning into a relatively steady flow.
[Aragorn: He what?]
He lunged forward at Legolas screaming for help.
[Legolas: Please tell me fic-Legolas gets the pants beaten off of him.]
Arwen collapsed to the ground as human and elf entered a brutal, vicious fight - Legolas because he was so angry at everything, and Estel, for his life.
[Legolas: What, he’s going to kill Aragorn too? I don’t have words for how messed up this is.
Elrohir: Bastard son of Gothmog doesn’t even come close…]
However, a number of elves had run at hearing Aragorn’s and Arwen’s screams, and soon they had Legolas under control.
[Elladan: This is where we need random ropes. Please.]
Estel collapsed in exhaustion as they pulled the still-fighting elf of him and started to drag him away.
[Tadan: For the sake of the fact that this needs humor, I’ll have to point out that they’re dragging Aragorn away.]
He rushed over to Arwen, but she was unconscious. Five other elves quickly picked her up and carried her off swiftly towards the palace for treatment.
[Luitha: You know how heavy they’re implying Arwen is?
Tadan: And why haul her all the way to a palace when the caves are right there?]
Estel’s head was spinning.
[Aragorn: (as himself) You bet it is!
Elrohir: So is mine…
Elladan: Mine too.
Legolas: Mine three. Or four. Can’t tell, my head is spinning too much.]
What Legolas had said, how Legolas had tried to kill Arwen and how ferociously he had tried to hurt the human himself were turning around and around in his head, and deciding he could take no more, he ran to his room tears streaming down his face, collapsed onto his bed and cried himself to sleep.
[Elrohir: Can we do that too, please?]
A/N: So, is this the end of Aragorn and Legolas forever? Only next chapter will tell, I’m afraid…..
[Aragorn: Please, please, please be the end.]
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah…..
[Elladan: When she says review, do you think she wants flames?
Tadan: I like flames.
Luitha: That’s because you’re loony.]
Angstgoddess69
xxxxx
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nadat/Tadan