To the Principle's Office Now!!!!
2003-02-06 - 3:56 p.m.
Hi, my name is Jessica! A really good friend of mine, Natalie, suggested that I might write in this journal thing. Um, it seems sorta of girlie to me, but maybe it will help me, or maybe it won't, but i will never know unless I try it. Right? Right! So anyways, I have had a pretty bad day. It started off ok, but after lunch,my ex-girlfriend, Monica, came to me and told me that Jordan, her current boyfriend who I dislike strongly, mentioned to her that I was spreading rumors about her. Why would I do that? Not only do I love her with all of my heart, but I would never intentionally hurt her like that. The only problem is, she doesn't believe me at all. I feel worthless because I have known her for two and a half years and I haven't done anything to lose her trust. I have hurt many times though, and she in return has hurt me also. I do love her though, and I want to make things better between us, but I just seem to mess up everytime. Right before our last period class, I stopped her and and asked for her to talk to me. She really didn't want to though, I let her go, but she insisted on hanging onto Jordan and kissing him all over. She knows that it hurts me more than anything though. I feel stupid and pathetic because I trip over her so much. I really want to get over her and move on to a better life. But I am still so in love with her. To me she is perfect. When she was hugging him, I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards me. I didn't mean to pull her so hard though, and I think I hurt her. I really didn't mean it though. I felt bad, she was crying because she is really being pulled in both directions from me and Jordan. I had to go to the principle's office because a teacher saw the whole thing. I went and told them how I felt, and they brought Monica and Jordan in to talk about it. I came to the decision to just leave her completely alone, maybe she will come back to me, maybe she won't. I just want her to be happy. I have so many friends though and I can talk to almost any of them, but I decide to keep my emotions inside most of the time. I think that I have a big self-esteem problem and maybe some more depression issues. I try to be happy, but inside I am dying. I want to tell all of my close friends that I do love them for being there for me all the time. I love you; Cara, Monica, Natalie, Steph, Alexis, Dara, Gladys, Naomi, Dara, Lindsey, and Grania. Thanks guys for always being there for me and listening to me. I appreciate it. That was my long, sad pathetic, useless day.
Current Music: Simple Plan; I'd Do Anything
Current Mood: Annoyed
Hi, my name is Jessica! A really good friend of mine, Natalie, suggested that I might write in this journal thing. Um, it seems sorta of girlie to me, but maybe it will help me, or maybe it won't, but i will never know unless I try it. Right? Right! So anyways, I have had a pretty bad day. It started off ok, but after lunch,my ex-girlfriend, Monica, came to me and told me that Jordan, her current boyfriend who I dislike strongly, mentioned to her that I was spreading rumors about her. Why would I do that? Not only do I love her with all of my heart, but I would never intentionally hurt her like that. The only problem is, she doesn't believe me at all. I feel worthless because I have known her for two and a half years and I haven't done anything to lose her trust. I have hurt many times though, and she in return has hurt me also. I do love her though, and I want to make things better between us, but I just seem to mess up everytime. Right before our last period class, I stopped her and and asked for her to talk to me. She really didn't want to though, I let her go, but she insisted on hanging onto Jordan and kissing him all over. She knows that it hurts me more than anything though. I feel stupid and pathetic because I trip over her so much. I really want to get over her and move on to a better life. But I am still so in love with her. To me she is perfect. When she was hugging him, I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards me. I didn't mean to pull her so hard though, and I think I hurt her. I really didn't mean it though. I felt bad, she was crying because she is really being pulled in both directions from me and Jordan. I had to go to the principle's office because a teacher saw the whole thing. I went and told them how I felt, and they brought Monica and Jordan in to talk about it. I came to the decision to just leave her completely alone, maybe she will come back to me, maybe she won't. I just want her to be happy. I have so many friends though and I can talk to almost any of them, but I decide to keep my emotions inside most of the time. I think that I have a big self-esteem problem and maybe some more depression issues. I try to be happy, but inside I am dying. I want to tell all of my close friends that I do love them for being there for me all the time. I love you; Cara, Monica, Natalie, Steph, Alexis, Dara, Gladys, Naomi, Dara, Lindsey, and Grania. Thanks guys for always being there for me and listening to me. I appreciate it. That was my long, sad pathetic, useless day.
Current Music: Simple Plan; I'd Do Anything
Current Mood: Annoyed