(no subject)
I'm trying to kill the part of me that is you. I want it destroyed. Remove it like a tumor, immerse it in acid. I want it punctured deflated and buried, buried deep so it is forgotten as it decomposes. Extract it, drown it, crush it, cremate it.
however
It means killing a part of me and i'm afraid this is such a part of me that it cannot be isolated. It has spread. Invaded and infiltrated. To kill it may mean to kill everything else. I might be able to handle that. It would probably kill me anyway.
however
it would mean you would be erased from me. I would have to live without you. I don't think i can live without out you. I don't think i can remember how to.
but above all
I would never wish harm upon you in any way. What I would do to protect you scares me. I don't think you would notice if i killed the you inside of me but I would always know.
and anyway
I would never be able to raise a gun to you even if the shot would mean I was free
however
It means killing a part of me and i'm afraid this is such a part of me that it cannot be isolated. It has spread. Invaded and infiltrated. To kill it may mean to kill everything else. I might be able to handle that. It would probably kill me anyway.
however
it would mean you would be erased from me. I would have to live without you. I don't think i can live without out you. I don't think i can remember how to.
but above all
I would never wish harm upon you in any way. What I would do to protect you scares me. I don't think you would notice if i killed the you inside of me but I would always know.
and anyway
I would never be able to raise a gun to you even if the shot would mean I was free