to see

[nacracket27]

its been almost exactly a month after i last posted... and nothings changed... nothing. im still out here all alone waiting. i just something different would happen. nothing happened on valentines day either. i looked foward to that day for months thinking he would do something with me. we went out to eat but blake and kim came so all kenny did was talk to blake about work and farting while me and kim tried to entertain ourselves. when we got back he read his book for an hr and then fell asleep while i watched a movie alone and cried all night. then he promised me he would take me to a movie the next day... we went to the movie but we went with all the boys (fun for a girl right?... not). i can just say i spend between 7 and 9 hours a day waiting to spend time with him (7 if he just plays games, 9 if he falls asleep afterward). so far this whooole week i might have been with him a total of 30 mins and watched him play halo for 25 hrs and its not even the weekend yet. i know this cuz im conducting an experiment where i actually time everything. i dont know if i should show him the results tho cuz i dont wana start a fight yet i want to show him exactly how i feel and now i have proof.

i just feel so bad. im really beginning to think theres sumn wrong with me for him to always avoid being with me so much...

i just wanna cry