(no subject)
"Feminist Porn.. Gee, it looks exactly like all the other porn in the world. People I've never heard of and don't care about, fucking on camera for money."
I found this on my journey for other anti-pornography, pro-lifers. This is one girls story, I can't really relate but in some ways I know how she feels. The cut tag quote was used specifically because I dislike it.
When I read that sentence, it really hit me hard. I used to think sex was going to be something special -- something that is shared between two consenting people. This was before I knew about porn, rape, and all other human atrocities. When I was twelve years old (I'm 19 now), I was addicted to pornography. (Just to note, I'm a girl.) I would stay home from school some days and do nothing but download porn, all day. The more I did, the less, I realized, I respected myself, and the less I respected other females around me. I started questioning whether or not my body "looked right" in all the "important" places: lips, tits, and all areas south of the border. This all terrified and disgusted me, so I "weaned" myself off of it.
To this day, I am uncomfortable with my body and feel it looks "wrong" because I happen to be anatomically correct. Imagine that -- I have body hair and a little flab, and my breasts aren't each the size of my head due to implants. I find myself hiding my body whenever I am with my boyfriend, whom I love very much and want to be intimate with. Often, I am so uncomfortable that I truly cannot feel anything when I'm with him. Worse than that -- and this is the part that I am truly worried about -- I feel I can't be "aroused" unless we are doing something a la hardcore porn. I find myself wanting to be completely "taken" by as many males as possible, so that I can feel something... useful, wanted, sexual. I have actually gone so far as to want to be called things such as "dirty little slut".. I'm guessing it's because when I was at an already vulnerable stage in my life (12 years old), I was over-exposed to videos of people doing these things, calling women these things. And as far as I could tell, the women seemed to enjoy it.
I can't help but feel my entire sex life has been screwed up beyond repair. Worst of all, I still can't bring myself to completely stop looking at porn.. something I am incredibly ashamed of. I feel like I'm betraying my boyfriend (I hide my behavior from him), as well as myself. I feel like a hypocrite, because I truly loathe pornography. I've found that I will only look at it until I'm "satisfied" ... then go through and delete it all, swear I'll never look at it again, only to rush right back to the computer the very next time I have an urge to see more.
I don't want to depend upon these things to feel useful/wanted/sexual. More than that, I want to stop associating those three things.
So many people do not realize the impact pornography has on people. We are all only human, we are not above being influenced by it.
Source
I am against porn not only because it objectifies women but because it gives us a message that loveless sex is in any way psychologically healthy. Families are falling apart and even some children are born without them because the moral decay in our society caused by the subconscious messages passed to us by all forms of media.