(no subject)
It's a very rare thing for me to feel quite out of my depth, and even rarer for me to freak out so completely as I am doing right now. Normally, I could fight with mom and maybe feel better. Or perhaps she could even give me some advice. But they decided to have family over for New Years. you know. the night before I leave. So there's no one to go to for help or advice or really anything. So basically I'm feeling scared and alone and generally like crap.
So I DO have stuff I could do, but I don't have a place I feel capable of doing it in. I'm completely and utterly overwhelmed. And you know? There's no one to really talk to, because I already know what they'll say. "it'll be fine, just get it done." Sure. Easy to say. Easier to do, actually. But not while I'm freaking out.
So here I am getting madder and madder at myself for being so pathetic, which really doesn't get me anywhere in the long run.
So I DO have stuff I could do, but I don't have a place I feel capable of doing it in. I'm completely and utterly overwhelmed. And you know? There's no one to really talk to, because I already know what they'll say. "it'll be fine, just get it done." Sure. Easy to say. Easier to do, actually. But not while I'm freaking out.
So here I am getting madder and madder at myself for being so pathetic, which really doesn't get me anywhere in the long run.