Home is Where the Heart Takes Wing ( 3/3 )
Title: Home is Where the Heart Takes Wing
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s)/Focus: Lu Han/Minseok
Side Pairings: brief mentions of the following: Kris/Jessica, Suho/Sulli, Zhou Mi/Liyin, Chanyeol/unnamed female, Lu Han/female OC
Warnings: language, alcohol, brief mentions of OCs
Length: 24,168
Summary: "What exactly do you want from me?" Lu Han sounds confused. A lot of things, Minseok doesn't say with his lips, though his eyes are probably giving away volumes more than he ever intended for Lu Han to read there.
A/N: Super thanks to my team leader ailiblue and all my lovely teammates, and especially to my beta, rjaejoo!
"Ah, so these are the infamous green babies!" Donghae is already slurring, though he’s still on his first glass of wine.
"Infamous? What's wrong with them?" Kyungsoo blinks at him with a grave look. Minseok sidles up between them as Donghae reaches up to pat the rosemary stems with his hand.
"There's nothing wrong with them," he coughs into his sleeve. "I think he means 'famous'."
"Yeah whatever, you're always posting them on Instagram these days. And I totally get why, they're so cute!" Donghae squeaks, the sound between a coo and a squeal, and only Minseok's steadying hand on his arm keeps him from upending the mini flower pot into Minseok's dish drain.
"Two posts, I have two posts about my plants on Insta. That hardly counts as 'all the time'." Minseok helps Donghae into the kitchen chair Kyungsoo pulls out for him, nodding in thanks to his other guest. He's a little surprised Kyungsoo showed up to the party, and flattered his fellow introvert left his studio for the evening to celebrate Minseok's special day.
"Hey, two posts is a lot if those are the only two posts you've made since Thanksgiving."
"Maybe." Minseok shrugs and scoots out of the way when Heechul saunters over to take Donghae into custody. Donghae is right though, another case of his logic magically becoming sounder when he's tipsy. The only reason Minseok even updated his account with a picture of his plants' growth is because Lu Han pestered him for two weeks until he did.
Lu Han, however, is the only one of Minseok's friends following the spring growth spurts of his 'green babies' that isn't here tonight. Unlike Kyungsoo's rare appearance, this doesn't surprise Minseok at all. In the end he had included Lu Han on his E-vite list, just for courtesy's sake, though.
Lu Han is still in central Japan as far as Minseok knows, traipsing meadows and hunting down famous cherry groves for breathtaking photo updates that will surely flood his Instagram any day now. The last he heard from Lu Han, the sakura trees were unfolding in bloom and he was headed on a three-day hike into 'the wilds' of Gifu prefecture. Minseok hasn't heard from him in as many days.
Last fall this wouldn't have given him a moment of pause. They used to go weeks sometimes without checking in on each other, but since Minseok replied to Lu Han's Christmas card they’ve been emailing at least once a day. If Lu Han were in Tibet still, or say, the Sahara desert, Minseok might be able to dull his fears with the excuse that Lu Han probably just lost phone service and isn't near a wi-fi network.
Lu Han, however, is on Honshu, in a country that had smartphones before New York even switched to DSL. Minseok feels justified in his worry, which set in 30 hours after receiving Lu Han's last email and has only increased in the time elapsed since then. Minseok might actually punch his friend if he ever makes it back to civilization and internet service in one piece.
"How you holding up?" Joonmyun startles Minseok out of his thoughts, coming up behind him in the hall to throw an arm over his shoulders. He smells like lemon aftershave, the scent even sharper than the sour smell of his uncapped Dizzy Brewnette.
"This is a party, Myun. Not a funeral. Of course I'm enjoying myself." Minseok scans the rooms of his apartment, taking in the sight of the dozen or so friends who showed up.
The attendance is a little spotty since Minseok finalized the date so last minute, but he's thankful for everyone who made it and doesn't hold it against those who are absent. (He especially doesn’t mind the absence of Chanyeol and his terrible new girlfriend who are still in Bermuda. They've been updating Instagram with disgusting selfies every hour on the hour, and Minseok is very happy for them and their tropical fun.)
"Of course you're enjoying it? That sounds rather defensive."
"Myun!" Minseok turns to him, a sigh of annoyance escaping his lips, but Joonmyun is smiling. Minseok sighs again with a shake of his head before resting his chin on Joonmyun's shoulder. His friend is a tease, but only to the people who are most important to him. Minseok knows just how amazing that is, to have friends so loyal.
"I'm glad," Joonmyun whispers into Minseok's ear. "I'm glad you're enjoying it. I couldn't have planned it better myself."
"And no offense to Baekhyun," Minseok whispers back, thinking with a smirk that it's a good thing this is a guy's night so Jinri won't get jealous seeing him cuddled up to her man. "But it's three times better than anything he could've come up with."
Joonmyun's laugh of agreement gets choked in the neck of his beer bottle as he raises it for another sip. "Ah, it feels good to grow old together, Minseokkie, with friends and family and lots of beer."
"Hey, watch who you're calling old." His fingers find Joonmyun's waist for a pinch. Minseok chuckles at his yelp, giving the spot a quick pat with his fingers. "Well, even if we are getting 'old', it's nice to know I'm not the only one growing soft around the middle."
"Oooh! Burrrrn!" Baekhyun cackles as he swings out of the kitchen with a beer in each hand.
"That was low," Joonmyun pouts. His sad, sad eyes tug at Minseok's wicked smile until he gives in and trades his wine glass for Joonmyun's empty bottle. "You always get so ornery when we're drinking if Lu Han isn't around threatening to film your antics for posterity! You wouldn't have dared to be so mean if Lu were--"
"If I were what?"
Minseok whirls around, heels skidding on the slick hardwood and elbow slamming into Joonmyun's ribs. "Lu?" The thudding in his chest all but drowns out Joonmyun's pained groan. All Minseok can think about right now is--
"You're here!" His flight or fight instinct has kicked in, his hands are shaking and his voice cracks almost painfully in his throat. Minseok wants to punch a wall, but he also wants to hug Lu Han until he relearns the hard lines and smooth curves of his body, until their scents get all mixed up and Lu Han smells like home again.
He settles for punching Lu Han in the side.
"Ah--!"
"You idiot!" Minseok cups his jaw, muffling Lu Han's cry with his thumbs smoothing over his chapped lips. "Why didn't you email? Or text me? Or call?"
"I just got in to JFK three hours ago, Minseokkie! I've been--"
"And you couldn't have called me in the cab?" Minseok can feel his emotional axis tipping, closer and closer to the verge of tears. His mouth tastes red and his eyes feel like dry oceans absorbing forgotten rain. The words keep slipping out of his mouth and he can't tear his eyes away from Lu Han's liquid gaze, melting like blossoms in the rain, so he just glares harder.
"53 hours, Lu! That's more than two days, you--!" He cuts himself off, slicing his teeth into his lower lip to bite back a sob.
"Why are you mad?" Lu Han looks confused. His eyes dart over to Joonmyun, then back to stare in shock at the mess that Minseok's face is quickly becoming.
"I'm sorry," Minseok sighs, and withdraws his hands to cradle his own chin. His face flames with mortified heat as he comes back to himself, out of the shock to realize that everyone in the room is staring at the commotion the unexpected visitor has aroused. "I was just--I was worried."
"It's ok, it's ok." Lu Han watches his face with concerned eyes. He slides a hand into Minseok's hair, fingers stroking in soothing circles like he's calming a frightened cat. Minseok curls against his chest, melting into the comfort of Lu Han's arms and ignoring their audience even as Heechul crows in appreciation from the kitchen.
"Min, no! Minseok, wait, I--!" Lu Han giggles, a strangled, flustered sound as Minseok latches himself onto Lu Han's side, face nuzzling further into the soft cotton of his sweatshirt to hide his blushing face.
"Minseok-ah!" Lu Han hisses as he succeeds in prying him away from his chest to hold him at arm's length.
"Huh?"
"I haven't--" Lu Han starts blushing too, sighing as he side eyes Joonmyun. "I haven't showered in days. Don't stick your nose up my armpit! Or I won't be responsible for the consequences."
Minseok joins in with Lu Han's embarrassed laugh, shaking his head to himself as he wraps his arms across his chest. "Right. Sorry. Do you--"
"Heyyy! Long time no see, man!" Donghae winds octopus arms around Lu Han's torso from behind and dumps his drink down the front of Lu Han's shirt and all over the antique Persian rug in Minseok's hall.
"S-sorry!" He gasps, and then bursts into laughter along with Joonmyun at the sight of Lu Han's horrified face. Lu Han stares at Minseok and shakes his arms like a bird with broken wings. Some of the pink drops of wine fling from his fingers onto Minseok's face.
"Alright, that's it," Minseok announces, already shoving Lu Han backwards into the empty bathroom. "You are taking a shower first, and then I can finish yelling at you!" He pulls a clean bath towel and a pair of pajama pants off the drying rack and drapes them over Lu Han's arms before closing the door with a firm yank.
The sound of the lock slamming into place has never felt more satisfying to Minseok's ringing ears. He heads back to clean up the mess in the hall and play host to his guests.
"You know," Jongdae hums with a dangerous smile as he hands Minseok a dishrag he must've scrounged in the kitchen. "No one would mind if you left the clean up to us and joined him in the shower. It's your birthday, after all. You deserve to be hap--"
Minseok slugs him in the gut and steals the rag from Jongdae to finish mopping up the mess. "It's not my birthday, twerp. My birthday was last week." He flashes Jongdae a sweet smile before running the sodden handful of rags back to the kitchen.
They do start to clean up the party mess soon after, though. It's after 11:00 already, and the subway lines run slower after midnight. Heechul peaces out early with Donghae in tow. Jongdae heads out about the same time after volunteering to drive a very drunk Baekhyun and his car back to Queens. Joonmyun sticks around the longest, collecting paper cups and plates from around the apartment and scraping the contents into Minseok's sink before stacking them into a fresh trash bag.
"Oh, just leave the glasses. I'll get those in the morning." Minseok waves Joonmyun away from the sink when he reaches for the wine glasses waiting on the counter.
Joonmyun concedes, backing away with a yawn. "You're just worried I'll chip your crystal, aren't you," he pouts, but he lets Minseok help him into his coat. It's the same beige trench he bought on discount the spring they graduated from college.
Minseok helped him pick it out when they went shopping for job hunting clothes and their first business professional suits. Lu Han was in Montreal that weekend, on a writer's workshop getaway.
"Are you sure you're safe to drive?" Minseok jerks his head towards the living room. "You're welcome to the couch if you'd rather drive back in the morning." Joonmyun has a long commute back to the county. Even though the weather's warm enough and they don't have to worry about ice on the roads, Minseok avoids driving in the dark.
"That's ok, I just had the one beer and it's worn off by now. And I think your couch has already been reserved by the gentlemen in your shower!" Joonmyun gives an exaggerated wink that implies he thinks Lu Han won't actually be exiled to the couch in the living room.
"Get out of here." Minseok covers the returning flare of embarrassment with a growl as he shoves Joonmyun towards the front door.
"You're welcome for helping you! Happy birthday, hyung," Joonmyun says in Korean with a sweet smile, and Minseok lets his friend enfold him into a warm hug.
"Be safe on the road, Myun."
"Of course!"
"And text Jinri before you leave so she's not sitting up in bed worrying about you!" Minseok props the door with his foot, watching from the entryway as Joonmyun jogs down the hall to the elevator.
"Haha! I'm sure she's fast asleep already, but ok, hyung! Anything for you!"
"You little--!" Minseok bites back his scolding curse as the elevator doors swallow Joonmyun out of sight. He locks the front door and fastens the chain with a happy sigh.
His footsteps are quiet in the hallway. The only sound of activity in the apartment is the steady hiss of the shower against the bathroom tile. The sound would be soothing, if Minseok didn't know it meant that a naked Lu Han was singing and scrubbing away in the next room with only the bathroom door between them.
Minseok wanders through his living room, searching for any cups they might have missed but Joonmyun was too thorough. He ends up in the kitchen empty handed and sinks into a chair with a slow exhale of breath. The initial excitement has died down but Minseok's mind is still snapped into overdrive. His bare toes clutch onto the rung of his chair and he fists his hands in the hem of his own button down, careless of the wrinkles he'll have to deal with later.
"Well guys, it's just you and me now," he whispers to the basil and rosemary sitting comfortably on his sill. "You, and me, and him."
Minseok looks over to the bathroom, eyeing the thin band of light streaming out from under the door. He looks back to his sink and the row of dishes lined up on the counter. He thinks about washing up the wine glasses but settles for rinsing the stickiness from the bowls. He doesn't want to risk being elbows deep in detergent suds whenever Lu Han finally decides to come out of the bathroom.
Minseok has no idea what to say or how to phrase his jumble of emotions into sense, but he knows he needs to talk to Lu Han tonight. Before Lu Han knocks out to sleep off his jet lag and Minseok loses his nerve tossing and turning in the dark. Even with the bathroom door and the spray of the shower separating them physically, Minseok hasn't felt this close to Lu Han in a long time. And this feeling has nothing to do with time zones and itineraries, missed flights or lost chances. This time is has to do with gratitude. And loyalty. And affection. And lo--
Minseok jumps when the bathroom door opens. The fingers he was counting off on curl reflexively into a tight fist until he can feel the blunt tips of his nails cutting into his palm.
"Hey," Lu Han says with a wave. Minseok's pajama pants look ridiculous on him. His long legs stick out of the cuffs, which only reach mid-calf. His hair is wavy and damp above his ears, fluffing up in front where he must have spent a vigorous minute towel drying it. "I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your deodorant."
"Oh! No! I mean, that's fine." Minseok snaps his mouth shut on the next sentence as he gets to his feet. He hates it when he gets nervous enough to stutter. He shouldn't be nervous anyway. This is just Lu Han, his best friend and ex-roommate. His best friend who is fresh out of the shower and is wearing nothing but Minseok's cotton pajama pants that don't even cover his ankles.
"Thanks," Lu Han nods, still blushing, or maybe he's just pink from the hot steam. Minseok tries not to get distracted by the lines of his defined chest visible under the folds of the damp towel thrown over his shoulders.
"Can--can I get you anything to drink?" Minseok gestures awkwardly towards the sink, the empty wine bottle and the sticky glasses on the counter.
"Where did everybody go?" Lu Han steps into the kitchen, looking around with wide eyes as he takes Minseok's seat at the table.
"You've been in the bathroom for an hour," Minseok grumbles as he ducks into his fridge in search of the milk. "No consideration for my water bill."
"Sorry." Lu Han's voice is soft in the quiet kitchen. He accepts the glass Minseok hands him with a downward flutter of lashes.
"Here, come into the living room where the light's on." Minseok wraps careful fingers around Lu Han's forearm and guides him over to the sofa.
Lu Han plops down on the dark leather, wriggling his hips until he feels settled. Another sigh and he's boneless against the cushions. Minseok slips into the seat next to him and props his feet on the ottoman. "Aren't you tired? Do you need to sleep?"
"Yeah, but it's afternoon in Tokyo right now. I'm tired, but not really sleepy." Lu Han's head rolls against the cushion until his cheek is pillowed against the leather. His smile is lazy, eyes filtering in and out of view through the delicate flutter of his eyelashes.
"Good." Minseok turns to face him with an answering smile. "I want to see the cherry blossoms."
"Lucky you, I have a lot of those on my phone." Lu Han opens his pics gallery and switches his phone to his left hand, holding it steady for Minseok to swipe through the captured images at his own pace.
Minseok shifts closer for better access, melting into Lu Han's side when he raises his left arm and fits it around Minseok's waist, nice and snug at the hips. Lu Han smells like tangerines, like Minseok's shower gel. His skin is soft and warm, a bit damp against Minseok's shirt where the towel was draped over his chest. Minseok can feel the faint pulse of Lu Han's heartbeat against his shoulder.
Minseok breathes, swipes his thumb across the phone they're both helping to balance on his thigh now. "Are these the sakura?"
"No, these are plum blossoms." Lu Han's breath clouds Minseok's ear and the side of his neck with warmth as he leans in closer to point at the picture. "They bloom right before the sakura. I took this on my first day in Japan. This is in a neighborhood in the old part of Tsukiji."
"Ah, I have no idea where that is," Minseok chuckles at the next photo, an accidental selfie of Lu Han standing on a footbridge.
"Oops! Forgot to delete that one!" Lu Han thumbs past the next several shots with an embarrassed huff until he gets to an explosion of pale pink layered over the shine of a narrow river. This shot isn't in the city, though a red building with winging eaves is out of focus in the background.
"Are these the sakura? Is that a temple?"
"It's a Shinto shrine. And yes, those are the cherry blossoms! They really look like pink snow if you lay under the branches, flakes drifting from heaven in slow motion."
"Sounds amazing," Minseok murmurs, and he means it. "These are breathtaking!"
"Hehe, these are just the ones I took on my phone! Just wait til I get my DSLR out and uploaded to my Macbook!" Lu Han's knee jerks with the excitement leaking through his voice, but Minseok lays a hand on his thigh to keep him from hopping up to start editing photos right here and now.
"Wait, I'm not finished looking at these." He clicks his nails against the back of the phone case.
Lu Han sighs, but he doesn't sound impatient. Just content. Maybe he doesn't want to get up right away either, Minseok thinks with a budding smile.
"Can I--?" Lu Han lays his head against the top of Minseok's. He tilts Minseok's head with gentle fingers until Minseok's chin is resting on his shoulder.
Minseok consents with a hum of contentment as Lu Han resumes stroking his hair. He doesn’t know why Lu Han’s asking. They’ve never asked for permission to cuddle on the sofa before, that's how comfortable they are as friends. Minseok's heart catches on the rungs of his ribs mid-beat, a palpitation thudding into fear that maybe this means they're drifting, maybe Lu Han feels a distance hanging between them like stale cigarette smoke lingering in a darkened bathroom. Maybe this doesn't feel like home after all of the beds he's slept in, all of the roads he's wandered down.
But Lu Han's fingertips count his heartbeats flowing into Minseok's skin with steady strokes, and Minseok relaxes. He feels close to Lu Han. The air feels close like a comforting blanket, a midnight spell cast over the shadowed living room as he inhales the enchantment of Lu Han's soft hums. He's never felt closer to Lu Han, and this has nothing to do with physical proximity and everything to do with the heart acknowledgement that his Lu Han came back home again, Lu Han came back for him.
Maybe--maybe that's why this feels different, a shift from the old comfort of best friends to something more--
Minseok can't put his finger on it, but the delicate strength welling between them, pooling on their touching skin is silk and steel and spider webs. The unbreakable fragility makes him want to whisper in the half-dark. Minseok takes a deep breath.
Lu Han yawns, a soft sigh against Minseok's ear. Minseok reaches out to tangle their hands, splaying the tips through the web of Lu Han's elegant fingers resting in Minseok's lap.
"You must be tired."
"Woo, yeah! I'm beat. I caught a red eye and spent the night writing at the Hong Kong airport. I switched to an earlier flight, I was trying so hard to make it to your party on time, thus the no shower. Sorry I was still late." His wistful smile glows like sakura fading into the rain.
"No, why are you apologizing?" Minseok shakes his hand against his knee. Their fingers jostle and Lu Han squeezes them tighter together, sealing out all the emptiness that's been leaking from Minseok's heart for weeks now. "Now that you're here. Don't waste our time saying sorry." Just tell me how much you missed me and how happy you are to be here.
"I'm happy," Minseok whispers, and he shifts his head to face Lu Han. His nose bumps clean shaven cheek and bones like old foundations.
"Hm?" Lu Han blinks, amused as he twists the ends of Minseok's hair between the tips of his fingers, leaning back to search Minseok's face with adoring eyes. The phone lies, screen dark and waiting, in Minseok's lap.
"I said, I'm happy. I'm glad you're here." Minseok is smiling wider than he has felt able to in months. It should feel awkward, his lips brushing the hollow of Lu Han's cheek. It doesn't.
Minseok didn't let himself expect anything from Lu Han because he hates disappointment, but it feels like a fulfilled promise to know his friend sacrificed sleep and a sane schedule attempting to attend his birthday party. Minseok is...happy.
"It feels so good to be home." Lu Han squeezes Minseok's hand, heartbeat pulse and heat enfolding his palm. "You don't even know."
"Is that a subtle request to move back in with me?" Minseok's laugh sputters against Lu Han's jaw but Lu Han doesn't recoil or push him away. He just laughs along. "Because Joonmyun said you were considering giving up your lease when it runs out."
"He told you that?" Lu Han's tone sharpens, but his voice still echoes like summer laughter wisping into Minseok's hair. "Maybe."
"Well, if you want to talk about it, I'm open to negotiation."
"Hm. Well, speaking of negotiation, I actually have an offer to make you. A business deal of sorts."
"A what?" Minseok struggles to sit up but Lu Han's fingers tighten in his hair until he relaxes again, leaning further into Lu Han's chest.
"You have a vacation coming up, right?"
"Heck yes," Minseok snorts. "They owe me two year's worth of vacation days, and I'm definitely taking off this summer before they expire. I don't care how desperate my boss gets with deadlines."
"Well, I just so happen to need a travel partner for a last minute work trip. My boss can't pay you, but everything would be covered under business expenses and you can get writer's credit on our blog posts, if you like." Lu Han's eyes are wide when Minseok pulls away enough to face him. He blinks in earnest, lips pulling up into an uncertain smile when Minseok just stares back in surprise.
"You mean accompany you on one of your work treks?" Minseok waits til Lu Han nods, lips sewn up in a tense seam between his teeth now. "But why me? Why don't you just ask Joonmyun? He's got more international experience, after all. And he has the time and would look cuter in photos."
"Oho! Who says you’re gonna be in my official photos?" Lu Han's face breaks into a triumphant grin, as if Minseok has already agreed to his proposition.
Minseok flushes. "Seriously, why are you asking me and not…" He doesn't know how to finish his thought, the threads of his suspicion trailing off into wonder when his gaze gets snagged on the soft pink dusting Lu Han's cheeks with the prettiest blush. He's never seen Lu Han's blush quite this up close before.
"Hm? Why I'm asking you to--? Oh!" Lu Han withdraws the hand cupping Minseok's left hip to scrub at the back of his neck. His nape is flushed too now, Minseok notices with a jolt of heat striking through his abdomen, pink all the way past his collarbones and spreading across his broad chest. "I want to go with you," Lu Han repeats, "because I like you?
"Is that a question?" Minseok's mouth falls open in disbelief and he has to fight the urge to laugh aloud. "Are you seriously asking me how you feel right now?"
"No," Lu Han whines low in his throat. He shakes his head as if to clear the deeper blush suffusing his features in a rosy glow. "That wasn't a question! I just...I didn't want to freak you out?"
"You did? Or you didn't?" Minseok laughs at the upward lilt in Lu Han's voice as he smooths the pinched look from his mouth with the tip of his thumb. Lu Han's wide eyes flutter closed and he leans into Minseok's touch.
"Minseok-ah," he says, eyes flashing open with a pleading look that rips at the last of Minseok's defenses. He lifts their hands, still clasped together, from their lap and presses Minseok's palm flat against his bare chest. "Minseokkie."
He pauses mid breath. The words hang in the air between them, a refreshing mist of soft summer rain as Minseok breathes in the feelings spilling from the flood gates of Lu Han's eyes.
"I love you too, Han." Minseok feels Lu Han's soft gasp shift in his chest beneath his fingers. The dark flicker in his eyes has Minseok catapulting forward to slide into his embrace, chest to chest and heartbeats entwined. Their lips brush, not a question but an answer budding into a tentative blossom, all new and pink and fresh.
Lu Han smiles against his lips as Minseok deepens the kiss, tasting him for the first time. It should feel strange, tongue sliding into the mouth of his best friend. It doesn't. Minseok digs his fingers into Lu Han's bicep and cradles his jaw with the other hand. Lu Han is still his best friend, but he's so much more. He's Minseok's sunrise and his rain jacket and his compass.
"We'll make a kickass travel team," Minseok pants out when they come up for breath.
"Wait so! That means yes? You're coming to Laos with me in June?"
"Uh huh," Minseok nods, and his smile gets swallowed up in another kiss, Lu Han's lips as fierce and insistent against his mouth as his fingers are gentle on Minseok's waist.
"Thank you," Lu Han whispers between kisses. He leans up to press his lips to Minseok's eyelids and then the tip of his nose before diving for his mouth again. "I love you so much, Minseokkie. This will seriously be the best trip ever!"
"Mmhm!" Minseok slides his palm up Lu Han's chest, centering it over the pulse of his heartbeat. "We'll take our home on the road this time. I can't wait to go exploring with you."
"Even if I make you take selfies with a llama?" Lu Han nips teasingly at his lips and Minseok punches his shoulder.
"That was an alpaca, let me remind you. And I don't think we'll find any of those in Southeast Asia."
"Just checking!" Lu Han laughs, "Because you never know!"
"We'll cross that hump when we come to it," Minseok says, and shuts him up with another kiss.
⋘⋘⋘
Three months later, at a guesthouse in Laos
"You awake?"
Minseok shivers when dry lips brush his nape. He shakes his head against the pillow, a slump of protest. "No."
"Aw, come on, Minseokkie," Lu Han practically coos into his ear, shifting forward to curl himself tighter around Minseok's back until their legs tangle under the sheets. "I know you're awake!"
"No," Minseok moans into his elbow, but he knows it's a lost cause. When Lu Han wants something, he usually gets his way. Minseok is particularly bad at telling him 'no.' Especially now that there are no secrets between them anymore, Minseok is defenseless against Lu Han's quirky and sometimes annoying charms.
Lu Han slides cold fingers up Minseok's chest, tracing the lines of his abdomen up to his chin. Minseok shrieks and almost decapitates Lu Han with a flailing elbow, because that tickles.
"Come on," Lu Han coaxes, and now his freezing fingers are sliding into Minseok's hair to tug at his forelock.
Minseok turns his head with the tug, pouting up at Lu Han when he props himself up on one elbow. Minseok glares. It is too early to be awake right now. Lu Han kept him up past midnight yesterday, outlining a series on travel safety in the light of the full moon. Lu Han's fingertips are ice on his cheekbones, and Minseok's sleep addled brain struggles to understand how anyone's hands and feet could be this cold in the cloying humidity insulating the already warm air.
"Hi," Lu Han whispers, smiling sweetly now that he's captured Minseok's attention. "I wanted to talk to you about something.”
"Did you dream about that ghost again?" Minseok can feel tingles of sunlight and fresh air drifting in from the open window to revive him from his dreams. His eyes search Lu Han's, but his boyfriend doesn't seem upset. Quite the contrary, instead of nerve wracking emotions pulling his shoulders taut and his gaze inward, Lu Han leans boneless against the mattress, propped up against Minseok's side on his elbow.
"No." Lu Han shakes his head. His wispy hair floats across his forehead as if he's the ghost, an ethereal beauty come to grace Minseok in the night but sticking around for some fun in the morning light for good measure. "I just want to talk to you. That's all."
Lu Han’s not a ghost though, as unreal as the loveliness of his features strikes Minseok in this golden molten mist of early light across his face. The heat of his bare chest presses close against the expanse of Minseok's back and his arms wind tight and very real around his waist. Lu Han is lean muscle and sinew and laugh lines around his eyes. His eyes are twin sunrises irradiating the warmth from his heart.
"What is it?" Minseok reaches up to trace the line of Lu Han's jaw with his fingers. The stubble bristling along his chin like stiff velvet feels familiar and Lu Han. Minseok inhales the faint scent of the cologne hanging on his hair like traces of smoke. Lu Han smells like a storm cloud, like a sudden summer shower.
"So..." Lu Han clears his throat and tightens his hold on Minseok's waist, sliding their bodies closer together, if that's even possible. "I know we've only been dating three months and this might be kinda fast..."
Minseok's heart is beating out of his chest, only the tight circle of Lu Han's arms keeping him together. Surely Lu Han isn't--
"So, yeah," Lu Han coughs, his breath puffing warm against Minseok's shoulder, "do you wanna move in together? When we get back to New York. Because constant accessibility to cuddling is amazing."
Minseok laughs aloud, curling into Lu Han's embrace. "Ah yeah, I'm not going to argue with you on the amazing part."
"Really, if there's one thing this trip has taught me, it's that I would not object to sharing a hotel bed with you for the unforeseeable future."
"Hm, you hardly live at your apartment as it is, so yeah. I guess it won’t be a problem logistically for you to move in to my place."
"Right? Not at all!" Lu Han squishes Minseok even closer to his chest as he agrees. Minseok can feel the enthusiasm radiating out of Lu Han's pores and soaking into his skin in tiny tremors of excitement. "In fact, my lease will run out the week we get back. So like, perfect timing, really!"
"Oh gee," Minseok groans. He rocks back against Lu Han's chest to gain enough leverage to elbow his boyfriend in the side. "Is that your motivation for asking us to move in together? Seriously, Han?"
"Of course not," Lu Han whispers into his hair. "The lease thing just makes it convenient. The reason is because I want to wake up to your grumpy, sleep deprived face every morning, and listen to your cute little sighs as you fall asleep, and blow soap bubbles at you and splash you in the kitchen when you wash dishes, and tease you til you turn adorable and pink when--"
"Hey now," Minseok growls deep in his throat, twisting his head back to meet Lu Han's eyes. "Are you trying to convince me this is a good idea, or not? Or is this your idea of reverse psychology?"
"Neither! I just...I just really..." Lu Han is the one turning pink right now, and Minseok grins at him sharp toothed and sly until Lu Han buries his hot face between Minseok's shoulder blades with a groan. "This is so embarrassing to talk about like this. But I just like you. So I want us to spend as much time together as we can. Please don't laugh at me."
"Aw," Minseok hums, and tangles his fingers with Lu Han's hands clasped over his hipbone beneath the sheets. "Don't worry, Han. I won't laugh at you I'm way to lazy for that right now." This earns him a pinch on the belly that has Minseok squirming in Lu Han's arms.
"It's nice to know I'm worth so much of your time and effort." Lu Han is still whispering, but his voice takes on that dark edge it does when he's reprimanding Jongin for leaving trash in the backseat of his car.
"I love you," Minseok singsongs, pressing the curve of his smile into Lu Han's shoulder. He drops his head back against their shared pillow. "What time is it? Did the alarm go off yet?"
"Nah, but it will in...let's see...two minutes and forty seconds! We should probably get up and shower now."
Minseok wants to groan at the prospect of having to drag himself from their cozy nest of hotel sheets on a soft hotel mattress, but the soft echo of wistfulness in Lu Han's voice floods his chest with warmth. He likes being the reason Lu Han doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning. It's a much better reason than homesickness, if he does say so himself.
"Do you want to shower first, or?"
"Go for it!" Lu Han nudges at Minseok's shoulder with his chin and nuzzles into the curve of his neck.
"Hey, quit that." Minseok bats him away before he's tempted to start pressing soft kisses to his sensitive skin. He tugs the sheet away and melts over the edge of the mattress in an avalanche of limbs and linens.
He drags himself and a clean towel into the bathroom and turns on the shower so the water can heat. Lu Han is seated at the bedside table, a smoky silhouette limned by the trickle of light raining through the window. He smiles when Lu Han waves to him, and shuts the door with a soft click.
Lu Han is still there by the window when Minseok emerges from the shower, hair dripping wet warmth down his collarbones. He twists the towel tucked around his hips into a tighter hold and crosses the room to plant himself on the arm of Lu Han's chair. Lu Han has his Macbook open, flipping through photos on a pre-editing run through of the shots he took yesterday.
He looks up when Minseok slips damp fingers into his sleep tousled hair. "I checked my email, and the boss really liked that one article you wrote, the one about keeping a travel diary for recipes and cooking experiments."
"Oh yeah?" Minseok smiles at the computer screen as a photo of Lu Han hugging an elephant's knee scrolls by. He took that one just moments before the elephant smeared a half chewed banana in Lu Han's hair with the tip of his trunk. Lu Han had screamed, and Minseok almost dropped the camera in the river.
"Yeah! While we didn't have internet for 36 hours yesterday, the tumblr version of the column got 2,791 reblogs!"
"Damn," Minseok coughs in surprise. "Well, then!"
"And uh--hang on." Lu Han grabs his buzzing phone before it can vibrate off the edge of the table. "Minseokkie! Get this--my boss wants to offer you a job! Staff writer for the blog and part time editor for the bi-monthly print edition of the travel magazine!"
"Whoa wait seriously?" Now Minseok is the one in danger of tipping off the edge of his seat. Lu Han's arm tightens around the damp towel hugging his waist and Minseok leans into his chest.
"Yeah, he'll call to set up an interview at our layover in Manila, but you’re more or less hired if we text him back yes now. What do you think? It'd be a pay cut from your CPA job, but--"
"Ok! I mean yes!" Minseok is already reaching for his phone. He’s done with being indecisive about acting on the things he knows he wants. Minseok wants to travel with Lu Han, to brush the blossoms from his hair under the sakura trees and splash muddy water in his face while giving elephants a bath.
"Really?" Lu Han is beaming at him like Minseok just offered him a diamond ring, and Minseok is the one saying yes.
"Of course. I'd choose getting lost with you over auditing business accounts any day." He presses a kiss to Lu Han's brow and inhales the scent of his smile, warm like cinnamon on his lips when Minseok leans down to capture his mouth.
Lu Han tugs at the terry cloth until Minseok tumbles into his lap with a surprised giggle. "We should take a selfie!"
"What, right now?" Minseok's hair is dripping into his eyes and he doesn't have a shirt on. Lu Han looks like he just got electrocuted by some kind of tropical eel, hair poofing up in all directions.
"Apparently people think we’re cute? Boss said the readers love reading our joint posts and updates."
"Oh dear," Minseok sighs, already picturing couple selfies becoming a regular thing on the official Instagram. Although maybe he wouldn't object to showing off his adorable boyfriend in his arms, as long as Lu Han doesn't try to pull another alpaca fiasco.
"I think your face is cute, too," Lu Han mouths against the shell of Minseok's ear, and that's it.
"You're coming with me." Minseok smirks at Lu Han's yelp as he yanks him out of the chair and drags him to the shower. It's the only thing he can think of to distract Lu Han from his phone, and if Minseok doesn't distract him soon he's liable to consent to him posting the shirtless selfie. And that is not the way Minseok is planning to announce his new job to their friends and family.
When they reach the doorway to the bathroom Lu Han takes the lead, pulling Minseok in after him before he shuts the door. Minseok shakes his head wearily, though he doesn't really mind. Even if he ends up back in the shower before his hair even dries, he doesn't mind if it means he gets to spend the time with Lu Han.
It took a few years and several false starts, but Minseok has finally learned to make every moment with Lu Han count. Life is short, and it isn’t always smooth. There are delays and missed connections. Sometimes you have to wait out a rainstorm to enjoy the blossoms. But Minseok is grateful his wings have finally aligned in formation with Lu Han’s. He hopes they can keep flying together for a long, long time.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s)/Focus: Lu Han/Minseok
Side Pairings: brief mentions of the following: Kris/Jessica, Suho/Sulli, Zhou Mi/Liyin, Chanyeol/unnamed female, Lu Han/female OC
Warnings: language, alcohol, brief mentions of OCs
Length: 24,168
Summary: "What exactly do you want from me?" Lu Han sounds confused. A lot of things, Minseok doesn't say with his lips, though his eyes are probably giving away volumes more than he ever intended for Lu Han to read there.
A/N: Super thanks to my team leader ailiblue and all my lovely teammates, and especially to my beta, rjaejoo!
"Ah, so these are the infamous green babies!" Donghae is already slurring, though he’s still on his first glass of wine.
"Infamous? What's wrong with them?" Kyungsoo blinks at him with a grave look. Minseok sidles up between them as Donghae reaches up to pat the rosemary stems with his hand.
"There's nothing wrong with them," he coughs into his sleeve. "I think he means 'famous'."
"Yeah whatever, you're always posting them on Instagram these days. And I totally get why, they're so cute!" Donghae squeaks, the sound between a coo and a squeal, and only Minseok's steadying hand on his arm keeps him from upending the mini flower pot into Minseok's dish drain.
"Two posts, I have two posts about my plants on Insta. That hardly counts as 'all the time'." Minseok helps Donghae into the kitchen chair Kyungsoo pulls out for him, nodding in thanks to his other guest. He's a little surprised Kyungsoo showed up to the party, and flattered his fellow introvert left his studio for the evening to celebrate Minseok's special day.
"Hey, two posts is a lot if those are the only two posts you've made since Thanksgiving."
"Maybe." Minseok shrugs and scoots out of the way when Heechul saunters over to take Donghae into custody. Donghae is right though, another case of his logic magically becoming sounder when he's tipsy. The only reason Minseok even updated his account with a picture of his plants' growth is because Lu Han pestered him for two weeks until he did.
Lu Han, however, is the only one of Minseok's friends following the spring growth spurts of his 'green babies' that isn't here tonight. Unlike Kyungsoo's rare appearance, this doesn't surprise Minseok at all. In the end he had included Lu Han on his E-vite list, just for courtesy's sake, though.
Lu Han is still in central Japan as far as Minseok knows, traipsing meadows and hunting down famous cherry groves for breathtaking photo updates that will surely flood his Instagram any day now. The last he heard from Lu Han, the sakura trees were unfolding in bloom and he was headed on a three-day hike into 'the wilds' of Gifu prefecture. Minseok hasn't heard from him in as many days.
Last fall this wouldn't have given him a moment of pause. They used to go weeks sometimes without checking in on each other, but since Minseok replied to Lu Han's Christmas card they’ve been emailing at least once a day. If Lu Han were in Tibet still, or say, the Sahara desert, Minseok might be able to dull his fears with the excuse that Lu Han probably just lost phone service and isn't near a wi-fi network.
Lu Han, however, is on Honshu, in a country that had smartphones before New York even switched to DSL. Minseok feels justified in his worry, which set in 30 hours after receiving Lu Han's last email and has only increased in the time elapsed since then. Minseok might actually punch his friend if he ever makes it back to civilization and internet service in one piece.
"How you holding up?" Joonmyun startles Minseok out of his thoughts, coming up behind him in the hall to throw an arm over his shoulders. He smells like lemon aftershave, the scent even sharper than the sour smell of his uncapped Dizzy Brewnette.
"This is a party, Myun. Not a funeral. Of course I'm enjoying myself." Minseok scans the rooms of his apartment, taking in the sight of the dozen or so friends who showed up.
The attendance is a little spotty since Minseok finalized the date so last minute, but he's thankful for everyone who made it and doesn't hold it against those who are absent. (He especially doesn’t mind the absence of Chanyeol and his terrible new girlfriend who are still in Bermuda. They've been updating Instagram with disgusting selfies every hour on the hour, and Minseok is very happy for them and their tropical fun.)
"Of course you're enjoying it? That sounds rather defensive."
"Myun!" Minseok turns to him, a sigh of annoyance escaping his lips, but Joonmyun is smiling. Minseok sighs again with a shake of his head before resting his chin on Joonmyun's shoulder. His friend is a tease, but only to the people who are most important to him. Minseok knows just how amazing that is, to have friends so loyal.
"I'm glad," Joonmyun whispers into Minseok's ear. "I'm glad you're enjoying it. I couldn't have planned it better myself."
"And no offense to Baekhyun," Minseok whispers back, thinking with a smirk that it's a good thing this is a guy's night so Jinri won't get jealous seeing him cuddled up to her man. "But it's three times better than anything he could've come up with."
Joonmyun's laugh of agreement gets choked in the neck of his beer bottle as he raises it for another sip. "Ah, it feels good to grow old together, Minseokkie, with friends and family and lots of beer."
"Hey, watch who you're calling old." His fingers find Joonmyun's waist for a pinch. Minseok chuckles at his yelp, giving the spot a quick pat with his fingers. "Well, even if we are getting 'old', it's nice to know I'm not the only one growing soft around the middle."
"Oooh! Burrrrn!" Baekhyun cackles as he swings out of the kitchen with a beer in each hand.
"That was low," Joonmyun pouts. His sad, sad eyes tug at Minseok's wicked smile until he gives in and trades his wine glass for Joonmyun's empty bottle. "You always get so ornery when we're drinking if Lu Han isn't around threatening to film your antics for posterity! You wouldn't have dared to be so mean if Lu were--"
"If I were what?"
Minseok whirls around, heels skidding on the slick hardwood and elbow slamming into Joonmyun's ribs. "Lu?" The thudding in his chest all but drowns out Joonmyun's pained groan. All Minseok can think about right now is--
"You're here!" His flight or fight instinct has kicked in, his hands are shaking and his voice cracks almost painfully in his throat. Minseok wants to punch a wall, but he also wants to hug Lu Han until he relearns the hard lines and smooth curves of his body, until their scents get all mixed up and Lu Han smells like home again.
He settles for punching Lu Han in the side.
"Ah--!"
"You idiot!" Minseok cups his jaw, muffling Lu Han's cry with his thumbs smoothing over his chapped lips. "Why didn't you email? Or text me? Or call?"
"I just got in to JFK three hours ago, Minseokkie! I've been--"
"And you couldn't have called me in the cab?" Minseok can feel his emotional axis tipping, closer and closer to the verge of tears. His mouth tastes red and his eyes feel like dry oceans absorbing forgotten rain. The words keep slipping out of his mouth and he can't tear his eyes away from Lu Han's liquid gaze, melting like blossoms in the rain, so he just glares harder.
"53 hours, Lu! That's more than two days, you--!" He cuts himself off, slicing his teeth into his lower lip to bite back a sob.
"Why are you mad?" Lu Han looks confused. His eyes dart over to Joonmyun, then back to stare in shock at the mess that Minseok's face is quickly becoming.
"I'm sorry," Minseok sighs, and withdraws his hands to cradle his own chin. His face flames with mortified heat as he comes back to himself, out of the shock to realize that everyone in the room is staring at the commotion the unexpected visitor has aroused. "I was just--I was worried."
"It's ok, it's ok." Lu Han watches his face with concerned eyes. He slides a hand into Minseok's hair, fingers stroking in soothing circles like he's calming a frightened cat. Minseok curls against his chest, melting into the comfort of Lu Han's arms and ignoring their audience even as Heechul crows in appreciation from the kitchen.
"Min, no! Minseok, wait, I--!" Lu Han giggles, a strangled, flustered sound as Minseok latches himself onto Lu Han's side, face nuzzling further into the soft cotton of his sweatshirt to hide his blushing face.
"Minseok-ah!" Lu Han hisses as he succeeds in prying him away from his chest to hold him at arm's length.
"Huh?"
"I haven't--" Lu Han starts blushing too, sighing as he side eyes Joonmyun. "I haven't showered in days. Don't stick your nose up my armpit! Or I won't be responsible for the consequences."
Minseok joins in with Lu Han's embarrassed laugh, shaking his head to himself as he wraps his arms across his chest. "Right. Sorry. Do you--"
"Heyyy! Long time no see, man!" Donghae winds octopus arms around Lu Han's torso from behind and dumps his drink down the front of Lu Han's shirt and all over the antique Persian rug in Minseok's hall.
"S-sorry!" He gasps, and then bursts into laughter along with Joonmyun at the sight of Lu Han's horrified face. Lu Han stares at Minseok and shakes his arms like a bird with broken wings. Some of the pink drops of wine fling from his fingers onto Minseok's face.
"Alright, that's it," Minseok announces, already shoving Lu Han backwards into the empty bathroom. "You are taking a shower first, and then I can finish yelling at you!" He pulls a clean bath towel and a pair of pajama pants off the drying rack and drapes them over Lu Han's arms before closing the door with a firm yank.
The sound of the lock slamming into place has never felt more satisfying to Minseok's ringing ears. He heads back to clean up the mess in the hall and play host to his guests.
"You know," Jongdae hums with a dangerous smile as he hands Minseok a dishrag he must've scrounged in the kitchen. "No one would mind if you left the clean up to us and joined him in the shower. It's your birthday, after all. You deserve to be hap--"
Minseok slugs him in the gut and steals the rag from Jongdae to finish mopping up the mess. "It's not my birthday, twerp. My birthday was last week." He flashes Jongdae a sweet smile before running the sodden handful of rags back to the kitchen.
They do start to clean up the party mess soon after, though. It's after 11:00 already, and the subway lines run slower after midnight. Heechul peaces out early with Donghae in tow. Jongdae heads out about the same time after volunteering to drive a very drunk Baekhyun and his car back to Queens. Joonmyun sticks around the longest, collecting paper cups and plates from around the apartment and scraping the contents into Minseok's sink before stacking them into a fresh trash bag.
"Oh, just leave the glasses. I'll get those in the morning." Minseok waves Joonmyun away from the sink when he reaches for the wine glasses waiting on the counter.
Joonmyun concedes, backing away with a yawn. "You're just worried I'll chip your crystal, aren't you," he pouts, but he lets Minseok help him into his coat. It's the same beige trench he bought on discount the spring they graduated from college.
Minseok helped him pick it out when they went shopping for job hunting clothes and their first business professional suits. Lu Han was in Montreal that weekend, on a writer's workshop getaway.
"Are you sure you're safe to drive?" Minseok jerks his head towards the living room. "You're welcome to the couch if you'd rather drive back in the morning." Joonmyun has a long commute back to the county. Even though the weather's warm enough and they don't have to worry about ice on the roads, Minseok avoids driving in the dark.
"That's ok, I just had the one beer and it's worn off by now. And I think your couch has already been reserved by the gentlemen in your shower!" Joonmyun gives an exaggerated wink that implies he thinks Lu Han won't actually be exiled to the couch in the living room.
"Get out of here." Minseok covers the returning flare of embarrassment with a growl as he shoves Joonmyun towards the front door.
"You're welcome for helping you! Happy birthday, hyung," Joonmyun says in Korean with a sweet smile, and Minseok lets his friend enfold him into a warm hug.
"Be safe on the road, Myun."
"Of course!"
"And text Jinri before you leave so she's not sitting up in bed worrying about you!" Minseok props the door with his foot, watching from the entryway as Joonmyun jogs down the hall to the elevator.
"Haha! I'm sure she's fast asleep already, but ok, hyung! Anything for you!"
"You little--!" Minseok bites back his scolding curse as the elevator doors swallow Joonmyun out of sight. He locks the front door and fastens the chain with a happy sigh.
His footsteps are quiet in the hallway. The only sound of activity in the apartment is the steady hiss of the shower against the bathroom tile. The sound would be soothing, if Minseok didn't know it meant that a naked Lu Han was singing and scrubbing away in the next room with only the bathroom door between them.
Minseok wanders through his living room, searching for any cups they might have missed but Joonmyun was too thorough. He ends up in the kitchen empty handed and sinks into a chair with a slow exhale of breath. The initial excitement has died down but Minseok's mind is still snapped into overdrive. His bare toes clutch onto the rung of his chair and he fists his hands in the hem of his own button down, careless of the wrinkles he'll have to deal with later.
"Well guys, it's just you and me now," he whispers to the basil and rosemary sitting comfortably on his sill. "You, and me, and him."
Minseok looks over to the bathroom, eyeing the thin band of light streaming out from under the door. He looks back to his sink and the row of dishes lined up on the counter. He thinks about washing up the wine glasses but settles for rinsing the stickiness from the bowls. He doesn't want to risk being elbows deep in detergent suds whenever Lu Han finally decides to come out of the bathroom.
Minseok has no idea what to say or how to phrase his jumble of emotions into sense, but he knows he needs to talk to Lu Han tonight. Before Lu Han knocks out to sleep off his jet lag and Minseok loses his nerve tossing and turning in the dark. Even with the bathroom door and the spray of the shower separating them physically, Minseok hasn't felt this close to Lu Han in a long time. And this feeling has nothing to do with time zones and itineraries, missed flights or lost chances. This time is has to do with gratitude. And loyalty. And affection. And lo--
Minseok jumps when the bathroom door opens. The fingers he was counting off on curl reflexively into a tight fist until he can feel the blunt tips of his nails cutting into his palm.
"Hey," Lu Han says with a wave. Minseok's pajama pants look ridiculous on him. His long legs stick out of the cuffs, which only reach mid-calf. His hair is wavy and damp above his ears, fluffing up in front where he must have spent a vigorous minute towel drying it. "I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your deodorant."
"Oh! No! I mean, that's fine." Minseok snaps his mouth shut on the next sentence as he gets to his feet. He hates it when he gets nervous enough to stutter. He shouldn't be nervous anyway. This is just Lu Han, his best friend and ex-roommate. His best friend who is fresh out of the shower and is wearing nothing but Minseok's cotton pajama pants that don't even cover his ankles.
"Thanks," Lu Han nods, still blushing, or maybe he's just pink from the hot steam. Minseok tries not to get distracted by the lines of his defined chest visible under the folds of the damp towel thrown over his shoulders.
"Can--can I get you anything to drink?" Minseok gestures awkwardly towards the sink, the empty wine bottle and the sticky glasses on the counter.
"Where did everybody go?" Lu Han steps into the kitchen, looking around with wide eyes as he takes Minseok's seat at the table.
"You've been in the bathroom for an hour," Minseok grumbles as he ducks into his fridge in search of the milk. "No consideration for my water bill."
"Sorry." Lu Han's voice is soft in the quiet kitchen. He accepts the glass Minseok hands him with a downward flutter of lashes.
"Here, come into the living room where the light's on." Minseok wraps careful fingers around Lu Han's forearm and guides him over to the sofa.
Lu Han plops down on the dark leather, wriggling his hips until he feels settled. Another sigh and he's boneless against the cushions. Minseok slips into the seat next to him and props his feet on the ottoman. "Aren't you tired? Do you need to sleep?"
"Yeah, but it's afternoon in Tokyo right now. I'm tired, but not really sleepy." Lu Han's head rolls against the cushion until his cheek is pillowed against the leather. His smile is lazy, eyes filtering in and out of view through the delicate flutter of his eyelashes.
"Good." Minseok turns to face him with an answering smile. "I want to see the cherry blossoms."
"Lucky you, I have a lot of those on my phone." Lu Han opens his pics gallery and switches his phone to his left hand, holding it steady for Minseok to swipe through the captured images at his own pace.
Minseok shifts closer for better access, melting into Lu Han's side when he raises his left arm and fits it around Minseok's waist, nice and snug at the hips. Lu Han smells like tangerines, like Minseok's shower gel. His skin is soft and warm, a bit damp against Minseok's shirt where the towel was draped over his chest. Minseok can feel the faint pulse of Lu Han's heartbeat against his shoulder.
Minseok breathes, swipes his thumb across the phone they're both helping to balance on his thigh now. "Are these the sakura?"
"No, these are plum blossoms." Lu Han's breath clouds Minseok's ear and the side of his neck with warmth as he leans in closer to point at the picture. "They bloom right before the sakura. I took this on my first day in Japan. This is in a neighborhood in the old part of Tsukiji."
"Ah, I have no idea where that is," Minseok chuckles at the next photo, an accidental selfie of Lu Han standing on a footbridge.
"Oops! Forgot to delete that one!" Lu Han thumbs past the next several shots with an embarrassed huff until he gets to an explosion of pale pink layered over the shine of a narrow river. This shot isn't in the city, though a red building with winging eaves is out of focus in the background.
"Are these the sakura? Is that a temple?"
"It's a Shinto shrine. And yes, those are the cherry blossoms! They really look like pink snow if you lay under the branches, flakes drifting from heaven in slow motion."
"Sounds amazing," Minseok murmurs, and he means it. "These are breathtaking!"
"Hehe, these are just the ones I took on my phone! Just wait til I get my DSLR out and uploaded to my Macbook!" Lu Han's knee jerks with the excitement leaking through his voice, but Minseok lays a hand on his thigh to keep him from hopping up to start editing photos right here and now.
"Wait, I'm not finished looking at these." He clicks his nails against the back of the phone case.
Lu Han sighs, but he doesn't sound impatient. Just content. Maybe he doesn't want to get up right away either, Minseok thinks with a budding smile.
"Can I--?" Lu Han lays his head against the top of Minseok's. He tilts Minseok's head with gentle fingers until Minseok's chin is resting on his shoulder.
Minseok consents with a hum of contentment as Lu Han resumes stroking his hair. He doesn’t know why Lu Han’s asking. They’ve never asked for permission to cuddle on the sofa before, that's how comfortable they are as friends. Minseok's heart catches on the rungs of his ribs mid-beat, a palpitation thudding into fear that maybe this means they're drifting, maybe Lu Han feels a distance hanging between them like stale cigarette smoke lingering in a darkened bathroom. Maybe this doesn't feel like home after all of the beds he's slept in, all of the roads he's wandered down.
But Lu Han's fingertips count his heartbeats flowing into Minseok's skin with steady strokes, and Minseok relaxes. He feels close to Lu Han. The air feels close like a comforting blanket, a midnight spell cast over the shadowed living room as he inhales the enchantment of Lu Han's soft hums. He's never felt closer to Lu Han, and this has nothing to do with physical proximity and everything to do with the heart acknowledgement that his Lu Han came back home again, Lu Han came back for him.
Maybe--maybe that's why this feels different, a shift from the old comfort of best friends to something more--
Minseok can't put his finger on it, but the delicate strength welling between them, pooling on their touching skin is silk and steel and spider webs. The unbreakable fragility makes him want to whisper in the half-dark. Minseok takes a deep breath.
Lu Han yawns, a soft sigh against Minseok's ear. Minseok reaches out to tangle their hands, splaying the tips through the web of Lu Han's elegant fingers resting in Minseok's lap.
"You must be tired."
"Woo, yeah! I'm beat. I caught a red eye and spent the night writing at the Hong Kong airport. I switched to an earlier flight, I was trying so hard to make it to your party on time, thus the no shower. Sorry I was still late." His wistful smile glows like sakura fading into the rain.
"No, why are you apologizing?" Minseok shakes his hand against his knee. Their fingers jostle and Lu Han squeezes them tighter together, sealing out all the emptiness that's been leaking from Minseok's heart for weeks now. "Now that you're here. Don't waste our time saying sorry." Just tell me how much you missed me and how happy you are to be here.
"I'm happy," Minseok whispers, and he shifts his head to face Lu Han. His nose bumps clean shaven cheek and bones like old foundations.
"Hm?" Lu Han blinks, amused as he twists the ends of Minseok's hair between the tips of his fingers, leaning back to search Minseok's face with adoring eyes. The phone lies, screen dark and waiting, in Minseok's lap.
"I said, I'm happy. I'm glad you're here." Minseok is smiling wider than he has felt able to in months. It should feel awkward, his lips brushing the hollow of Lu Han's cheek. It doesn't.
Minseok didn't let himself expect anything from Lu Han because he hates disappointment, but it feels like a fulfilled promise to know his friend sacrificed sleep and a sane schedule attempting to attend his birthday party. Minseok is...happy.
"It feels so good to be home." Lu Han squeezes Minseok's hand, heartbeat pulse and heat enfolding his palm. "You don't even know."
"Is that a subtle request to move back in with me?" Minseok's laugh sputters against Lu Han's jaw but Lu Han doesn't recoil or push him away. He just laughs along. "Because Joonmyun said you were considering giving up your lease when it runs out."
"He told you that?" Lu Han's tone sharpens, but his voice still echoes like summer laughter wisping into Minseok's hair. "Maybe."
"Well, if you want to talk about it, I'm open to negotiation."
"Hm. Well, speaking of negotiation, I actually have an offer to make you. A business deal of sorts."
"A what?" Minseok struggles to sit up but Lu Han's fingers tighten in his hair until he relaxes again, leaning further into Lu Han's chest.
"You have a vacation coming up, right?"
"Heck yes," Minseok snorts. "They owe me two year's worth of vacation days, and I'm definitely taking off this summer before they expire. I don't care how desperate my boss gets with deadlines."
"Well, I just so happen to need a travel partner for a last minute work trip. My boss can't pay you, but everything would be covered under business expenses and you can get writer's credit on our blog posts, if you like." Lu Han's eyes are wide when Minseok pulls away enough to face him. He blinks in earnest, lips pulling up into an uncertain smile when Minseok just stares back in surprise.
"You mean accompany you on one of your work treks?" Minseok waits til Lu Han nods, lips sewn up in a tense seam between his teeth now. "But why me? Why don't you just ask Joonmyun? He's got more international experience, after all. And he has the time and would look cuter in photos."
"Oho! Who says you’re gonna be in my official photos?" Lu Han's face breaks into a triumphant grin, as if Minseok has already agreed to his proposition.
Minseok flushes. "Seriously, why are you asking me and not…" He doesn't know how to finish his thought, the threads of his suspicion trailing off into wonder when his gaze gets snagged on the soft pink dusting Lu Han's cheeks with the prettiest blush. He's never seen Lu Han's blush quite this up close before.
"Hm? Why I'm asking you to--? Oh!" Lu Han withdraws the hand cupping Minseok's left hip to scrub at the back of his neck. His nape is flushed too now, Minseok notices with a jolt of heat striking through his abdomen, pink all the way past his collarbones and spreading across his broad chest. "I want to go with you," Lu Han repeats, "because I like you?
"Is that a question?" Minseok's mouth falls open in disbelief and he has to fight the urge to laugh aloud. "Are you seriously asking me how you feel right now?"
"No," Lu Han whines low in his throat. He shakes his head as if to clear the deeper blush suffusing his features in a rosy glow. "That wasn't a question! I just...I didn't want to freak you out?"
"You did? Or you didn't?" Minseok laughs at the upward lilt in Lu Han's voice as he smooths the pinched look from his mouth with the tip of his thumb. Lu Han's wide eyes flutter closed and he leans into Minseok's touch.
"Minseok-ah," he says, eyes flashing open with a pleading look that rips at the last of Minseok's defenses. He lifts their hands, still clasped together, from their lap and presses Minseok's palm flat against his bare chest. "Minseokkie."
He pauses mid breath. The words hang in the air between them, a refreshing mist of soft summer rain as Minseok breathes in the feelings spilling from the flood gates of Lu Han's eyes.
"I love you too, Han." Minseok feels Lu Han's soft gasp shift in his chest beneath his fingers. The dark flicker in his eyes has Minseok catapulting forward to slide into his embrace, chest to chest and heartbeats entwined. Their lips brush, not a question but an answer budding into a tentative blossom, all new and pink and fresh.
Lu Han smiles against his lips as Minseok deepens the kiss, tasting him for the first time. It should feel strange, tongue sliding into the mouth of his best friend. It doesn't. Minseok digs his fingers into Lu Han's bicep and cradles his jaw with the other hand. Lu Han is still his best friend, but he's so much more. He's Minseok's sunrise and his rain jacket and his compass.
"We'll make a kickass travel team," Minseok pants out when they come up for breath.
"Wait so! That means yes? You're coming to Laos with me in June?"
"Uh huh," Minseok nods, and his smile gets swallowed up in another kiss, Lu Han's lips as fierce and insistent against his mouth as his fingers are gentle on Minseok's waist.
"Thank you," Lu Han whispers between kisses. He leans up to press his lips to Minseok's eyelids and then the tip of his nose before diving for his mouth again. "I love you so much, Minseokkie. This will seriously be the best trip ever!"
"Mmhm!" Minseok slides his palm up Lu Han's chest, centering it over the pulse of his heartbeat. "We'll take our home on the road this time. I can't wait to go exploring with you."
"Even if I make you take selfies with a llama?" Lu Han nips teasingly at his lips and Minseok punches his shoulder.
"That was an alpaca, let me remind you. And I don't think we'll find any of those in Southeast Asia."
"Just checking!" Lu Han laughs, "Because you never know!"
"We'll cross that hump when we come to it," Minseok says, and shuts him up with another kiss.
⋘⋘⋘
Three months later, at a guesthouse in Laos
"You awake?"
Minseok shivers when dry lips brush his nape. He shakes his head against the pillow, a slump of protest. "No."
"Aw, come on, Minseokkie," Lu Han practically coos into his ear, shifting forward to curl himself tighter around Minseok's back until their legs tangle under the sheets. "I know you're awake!"
"No," Minseok moans into his elbow, but he knows it's a lost cause. When Lu Han wants something, he usually gets his way. Minseok is particularly bad at telling him 'no.' Especially now that there are no secrets between them anymore, Minseok is defenseless against Lu Han's quirky and sometimes annoying charms.
Lu Han slides cold fingers up Minseok's chest, tracing the lines of his abdomen up to his chin. Minseok shrieks and almost decapitates Lu Han with a flailing elbow, because that tickles.
"Come on," Lu Han coaxes, and now his freezing fingers are sliding into Minseok's hair to tug at his forelock.
Minseok turns his head with the tug, pouting up at Lu Han when he props himself up on one elbow. Minseok glares. It is too early to be awake right now. Lu Han kept him up past midnight yesterday, outlining a series on travel safety in the light of the full moon. Lu Han's fingertips are ice on his cheekbones, and Minseok's sleep addled brain struggles to understand how anyone's hands and feet could be this cold in the cloying humidity insulating the already warm air.
"Hi," Lu Han whispers, smiling sweetly now that he's captured Minseok's attention. "I wanted to talk to you about something.”
"Did you dream about that ghost again?" Minseok can feel tingles of sunlight and fresh air drifting in from the open window to revive him from his dreams. His eyes search Lu Han's, but his boyfriend doesn't seem upset. Quite the contrary, instead of nerve wracking emotions pulling his shoulders taut and his gaze inward, Lu Han leans boneless against the mattress, propped up against Minseok's side on his elbow.
"No." Lu Han shakes his head. His wispy hair floats across his forehead as if he's the ghost, an ethereal beauty come to grace Minseok in the night but sticking around for some fun in the morning light for good measure. "I just want to talk to you. That's all."
Lu Han’s not a ghost though, as unreal as the loveliness of his features strikes Minseok in this golden molten mist of early light across his face. The heat of his bare chest presses close against the expanse of Minseok's back and his arms wind tight and very real around his waist. Lu Han is lean muscle and sinew and laugh lines around his eyes. His eyes are twin sunrises irradiating the warmth from his heart.
"What is it?" Minseok reaches up to trace the line of Lu Han's jaw with his fingers. The stubble bristling along his chin like stiff velvet feels familiar and Lu Han. Minseok inhales the faint scent of the cologne hanging on his hair like traces of smoke. Lu Han smells like a storm cloud, like a sudden summer shower.
"So..." Lu Han clears his throat and tightens his hold on Minseok's waist, sliding their bodies closer together, if that's even possible. "I know we've only been dating three months and this might be kinda fast..."
Minseok's heart is beating out of his chest, only the tight circle of Lu Han's arms keeping him together. Surely Lu Han isn't--
"So, yeah," Lu Han coughs, his breath puffing warm against Minseok's shoulder, "do you wanna move in together? When we get back to New York. Because constant accessibility to cuddling is amazing."
Minseok laughs aloud, curling into Lu Han's embrace. "Ah yeah, I'm not going to argue with you on the amazing part."
"Really, if there's one thing this trip has taught me, it's that I would not object to sharing a hotel bed with you for the unforeseeable future."
"Hm, you hardly live at your apartment as it is, so yeah. I guess it won’t be a problem logistically for you to move in to my place."
"Right? Not at all!" Lu Han squishes Minseok even closer to his chest as he agrees. Minseok can feel the enthusiasm radiating out of Lu Han's pores and soaking into his skin in tiny tremors of excitement. "In fact, my lease will run out the week we get back. So like, perfect timing, really!"
"Oh gee," Minseok groans. He rocks back against Lu Han's chest to gain enough leverage to elbow his boyfriend in the side. "Is that your motivation for asking us to move in together? Seriously, Han?"
"Of course not," Lu Han whispers into his hair. "The lease thing just makes it convenient. The reason is because I want to wake up to your grumpy, sleep deprived face every morning, and listen to your cute little sighs as you fall asleep, and blow soap bubbles at you and splash you in the kitchen when you wash dishes, and tease you til you turn adorable and pink when--"
"Hey now," Minseok growls deep in his throat, twisting his head back to meet Lu Han's eyes. "Are you trying to convince me this is a good idea, or not? Or is this your idea of reverse psychology?"
"Neither! I just...I just really..." Lu Han is the one turning pink right now, and Minseok grins at him sharp toothed and sly until Lu Han buries his hot face between Minseok's shoulder blades with a groan. "This is so embarrassing to talk about like this. But I just like you. So I want us to spend as much time together as we can. Please don't laugh at me."
"Aw," Minseok hums, and tangles his fingers with Lu Han's hands clasped over his hipbone beneath the sheets. "Don't worry, Han. I won't laugh at you I'm way to lazy for that right now." This earns him a pinch on the belly that has Minseok squirming in Lu Han's arms.
"It's nice to know I'm worth so much of your time and effort." Lu Han is still whispering, but his voice takes on that dark edge it does when he's reprimanding Jongin for leaving trash in the backseat of his car.
"I love you," Minseok singsongs, pressing the curve of his smile into Lu Han's shoulder. He drops his head back against their shared pillow. "What time is it? Did the alarm go off yet?"
"Nah, but it will in...let's see...two minutes and forty seconds! We should probably get up and shower now."
Minseok wants to groan at the prospect of having to drag himself from their cozy nest of hotel sheets on a soft hotel mattress, but the soft echo of wistfulness in Lu Han's voice floods his chest with warmth. He likes being the reason Lu Han doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning. It's a much better reason than homesickness, if he does say so himself.
"Do you want to shower first, or?"
"Go for it!" Lu Han nudges at Minseok's shoulder with his chin and nuzzles into the curve of his neck.
"Hey, quit that." Minseok bats him away before he's tempted to start pressing soft kisses to his sensitive skin. He tugs the sheet away and melts over the edge of the mattress in an avalanche of limbs and linens.
He drags himself and a clean towel into the bathroom and turns on the shower so the water can heat. Lu Han is seated at the bedside table, a smoky silhouette limned by the trickle of light raining through the window. He smiles when Lu Han waves to him, and shuts the door with a soft click.
Lu Han is still there by the window when Minseok emerges from the shower, hair dripping wet warmth down his collarbones. He twists the towel tucked around his hips into a tighter hold and crosses the room to plant himself on the arm of Lu Han's chair. Lu Han has his Macbook open, flipping through photos on a pre-editing run through of the shots he took yesterday.
He looks up when Minseok slips damp fingers into his sleep tousled hair. "I checked my email, and the boss really liked that one article you wrote, the one about keeping a travel diary for recipes and cooking experiments."
"Oh yeah?" Minseok smiles at the computer screen as a photo of Lu Han hugging an elephant's knee scrolls by. He took that one just moments before the elephant smeared a half chewed banana in Lu Han's hair with the tip of his trunk. Lu Han had screamed, and Minseok almost dropped the camera in the river.
"Yeah! While we didn't have internet for 36 hours yesterday, the tumblr version of the column got 2,791 reblogs!"
"Damn," Minseok coughs in surprise. "Well, then!"
"And uh--hang on." Lu Han grabs his buzzing phone before it can vibrate off the edge of the table. "Minseokkie! Get this--my boss wants to offer you a job! Staff writer for the blog and part time editor for the bi-monthly print edition of the travel magazine!"
"Whoa wait seriously?" Now Minseok is the one in danger of tipping off the edge of his seat. Lu Han's arm tightens around the damp towel hugging his waist and Minseok leans into his chest.
"Yeah, he'll call to set up an interview at our layover in Manila, but you’re more or less hired if we text him back yes now. What do you think? It'd be a pay cut from your CPA job, but--"
"Ok! I mean yes!" Minseok is already reaching for his phone. He’s done with being indecisive about acting on the things he knows he wants. Minseok wants to travel with Lu Han, to brush the blossoms from his hair under the sakura trees and splash muddy water in his face while giving elephants a bath.
"Really?" Lu Han is beaming at him like Minseok just offered him a diamond ring, and Minseok is the one saying yes.
"Of course. I'd choose getting lost with you over auditing business accounts any day." He presses a kiss to Lu Han's brow and inhales the scent of his smile, warm like cinnamon on his lips when Minseok leans down to capture his mouth.
Lu Han tugs at the terry cloth until Minseok tumbles into his lap with a surprised giggle. "We should take a selfie!"
"What, right now?" Minseok's hair is dripping into his eyes and he doesn't have a shirt on. Lu Han looks like he just got electrocuted by some kind of tropical eel, hair poofing up in all directions.
"Apparently people think we’re cute? Boss said the readers love reading our joint posts and updates."
"Oh dear," Minseok sighs, already picturing couple selfies becoming a regular thing on the official Instagram. Although maybe he wouldn't object to showing off his adorable boyfriend in his arms, as long as Lu Han doesn't try to pull another alpaca fiasco.
"I think your face is cute, too," Lu Han mouths against the shell of Minseok's ear, and that's it.
"You're coming with me." Minseok smirks at Lu Han's yelp as he yanks him out of the chair and drags him to the shower. It's the only thing he can think of to distract Lu Han from his phone, and if Minseok doesn't distract him soon he's liable to consent to him posting the shirtless selfie. And that is not the way Minseok is planning to announce his new job to their friends and family.
When they reach the doorway to the bathroom Lu Han takes the lead, pulling Minseok in after him before he shuts the door. Minseok shakes his head wearily, though he doesn't really mind. Even if he ends up back in the shower before his hair even dries, he doesn't mind if it means he gets to spend the time with Lu Han.
It took a few years and several false starts, but Minseok has finally learned to make every moment with Lu Han count. Life is short, and it isn’t always smooth. There are delays and missed connections. Sometimes you have to wait out a rainstorm to enjoy the blossoms. But Minseok is grateful his wings have finally aligned in formation with Lu Han’s. He hopes they can keep flying together for a long, long time.