Oops (I Typo'd Again)
Title: Oops (I Typo’d Again)
Rating: pg-13
Pairing: BaekSoo
Warnings: language, sexual humor, non-graphic allusions to rimming
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, written just for fun.
Summary: Baekhyun has a horrible Tuesday, and it is all the fault of his mother ducking auto erect.
A/N: originally posted at soonenamoured fic fest 2015
"Yo yo yo," Jongdae chirps as he swings into Baekhyun's office. His voice is almost as annoying as their boss Luhan's, who he is currently trying and failing to imitate. "Long time no--"
“What now!” Baekhyun snarls in disgust. This is not the morning to for him to be dealing with inane conversations with his coworker. He has absolutely no time for this, as he’s far too busy dealing with his stupid keyboard at the moment. The keys keep sticking and only two thirds of the strokes appear on the word doc on his computer screen.
It's times like these Baekhyun gets nostalgic for the good old days, when people used typewriters instead of having to deal with finicky technology. This is not the first headache his keyboard has caused him in recent history. Yesterday the shift key completely stopped working an hour before his deadline. No one in IT was available to save his frantic ass, so Baekhyun ended up typing out the last paragraphs of his article and tweaking the formatting on his phone before submitting it to the managing editor.
He's just about to give up in frustration and switch to his phone today as well when the keyboard starts working again. Baekhyun relaxes as he picks up his flow again, letting down his guard for a moment. Then the 'S' key starts sticking when he tries to type "unsuccessfully", and he knows that today is just not his day. It figures, though. Today is Tuesday, and Baekhyun has always hated Tuesdays.
Baekhyun shoves the keyboard tray back into the desk with a strangled curse, and is even more annoyed when he looks up to find Jongdae still lingering in the doorway.
"Why are you still here? Fuck off, Dae!"
“Um, did you check the headlines this morning? Because you might want to if you haven’t.” Jongdae waves a newspaper in his hand, the crisp folds of the issue hot off the presses. Baekhyun just snorts, turning back to his screen.
“Why would I need to do that? I write the headlines, Jongdae.”
“I know.” Jongdae tosses the newspaper across Baekhyun’s keyboard, halting any progress he might have made. The frontliner news this morning is nothing shocking or particularly sobering, so Baekhyun doesn’t understand why Jongdae’s making a big deal out of it. It's been a long summer, quite dull on the international affairs front. Only the record breaking heat waves have been out of the ordinary, and updates on the weather can only keep the national interest for so many daily editions, thus the less than eye-grabbing feature on today’s front page.
It’s just some human interest story Baekhyun had banged out for his last assignment, something about the president's son and his brilliant academic career, yada yada. The only reason Baekhyun has accepted an assignment this snooze worthy is because there was literally nothing else better to work on (and also because Luhan had resorted to blackmail, threatening to ban him from the Dunkin Donuts on the ground floor of the office building. Hey, Baekhyun knows his priorities and he stands by them, a major part of the reason he's climbed so far up the communications and broadcasting ladder by the tender young age of 25).
"Please remove this scrap paper and let me finish typing in peace.” Baekhyun pushes his glasses up onto his head and massages his fingertips into his temples, feeling a stress migraine coming on. “Oh hey, you don't happen to have Kyuhyun from IT's cell number, do you? Because I keep getting--"
"Baekhyun," Jongdae huffs, "just read."
Baekhyun's eyes follow the line of Jongdae's finger as it trails under the fat black characters at the top of the page, the uninspired title he had slapped on his finished article five minutes before his deadline:
President's Son Earns B.S. with Cum Load Honors
"Oh! Holy--!" Baekhyun slams a fist into his chest, turning to stare at Jongdae in horror. Jongdae just gives his head a slight shake and rattles the paper in front of Baekhyun.
"Just keep reading."
...blowing through national skeptics' criticisms of President Kwon's only child, Do Kyungsoo has proven himself a brilliant asset to the powerful political family, members of which also include his uncle and Deputy Minister of Culture, Sports and Tourism, Jung Yunho; as well as Undersecretary of the Ministry Gender Equality and Family, second cousin Lee Jonghyun. Leading up to the national elections next spring, President Kwon (infamously nicknamed 'The BoA Constrictor' by the opposition line) could use every bit of positive press to her favor.
Let's take a closer look at the multi-faceted image of the president's heir...
Baekhyun tracks Jongdae's finger as it skims down the column, halting at the last paragraph just as abruptly as Baekhyun's heart stops when he reads what's printed:
...despite his prince-like image as an avid tennis player and conservative fashionista, Mr. Do enjoys many ordinary activities in the company of his childhood friends, such as watching popular HBO drama Game of throbs, and eating ass cream...
That's as far as Baekhyun gets before his vision starts to slide into 4D, the beautiful swirl of colors merging before his eyes and getting trapped in his throat when he inhales signaling that this is it, this is the end of Byun Baekhyun, senior correspondent for SMBS news.
"My career is over," Baekhyun gasps out, latching onto Jongdae's arm with a death grip. "Do I sit here and wait to get fired, or do I flee now and emigrate to Madagascar?"
"Dude, I don't even know..." Jongdae shakes his head as he slides into a sitting position on the edge of Baekhyun's desk. "It’s lucky for the rest of us that Jung Yunho guy you mentioned in the article owns half of the syndicate, otherwise the president would no doubt be suing SMBS, Inc. for the net worth of Monaco by now."
"Shit," Baekhyun cusses at the blur of black print still sliding in and out of focus before his eyes. "What do I--!"
They both freeze, gripping onto each other's hands all the tighter when the phone rings.
"H-hello?" Baekhyun's voice rattles in his throat like a bag of instant popcorn left in the microwave on the highest setting.
"I'm not even going to ask you to explain yourself, Byun. PR is already doing a better job of damage control than you could even dream of, so please keep your mouth shut in public, especially on SNS. That order stands until we decide how to proceed from here. That is all."
"Y-yes, boss," Baekhyun stutters, whimpering in despair when the editor in chief hangs up with a disgusted snort. If he just received a personal call from Shim Changmin himself instead of his division manager Luhan, Baekhyun knows this is bad news, like bad. Worse than the time Chanyeol tried to interview the senior pastor of that one mega church with a set of questions they had prepared for a newly debuted porn star, probably.
Baekhyun doesn't have to wait long to hear from Luhan too, however. The division manager pages him seconds later with a message even more terrifying than a warrant for his arrest:
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 10:39AM come to my office immediately, u have a guest waiting to speak with u.
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 10:41AM its do ksoo btw, so you better be POLite or I will end you before any1 else getsa chance 2!!!! >:{ !!!!
"It's been nice knowing you, dude." Jongdae hops down from the desk and gathers him into a rib cracking hug, burying his face in Baekhyun's polo. Baekhyun doesn't shake him off for once, despite the heat. He's too dazed to do more than shuffle blindly to the elevator with Jongdae still clinging to his shoulders.
Jongdae helps him press the button for Luhan's floor and waves goodbye to Baekhyun as the elevator doors slide closed with a steely grind of finality. Yes, this is it, this is the end...
Luhan grabs Baekhyun by the wrist before he's even out of the elevator, yanking him around the corner. Luhan ducks behind a potted palm tree that really should have been moved to a balcony years ago, the fronds of which are brushing the ceiling tiles above them.
"He's still waiting in my office," Luhan sniffs, his eyes pools of liquid sorrow as he blinks languidly at Baekhyun. "I just wanted to see you with my own eyes once more before sending you off to your doom!"
Luhan's cold fingers sliding over his cheeks as he cups his face snap Baekhyun out of his state of denial and into an angry panic. He slaps Luhan's hands away from his head with a furious hiss.
“Who's fault is it that he's here, huh? How on earth was it legal for you to hand out my personal information like that! I'm not afraid to become a whistleblower exposing corporate invasion of personal privacy! That is a crime you know!”
“I didn’t tell him anything, Baekhyun. Will you please calm down?” Luhan knocks his head against the trunk of the palm tree with a heavy sigh, sending a rain of withered fronds down on Baekhyun's shoulders.
“Then how did he know my name! How did he find me here!”
“Baekhyun.” Luhan taps the front page of the newspaper he has clutched to his chest. “See here? Your name is printed right below the headline: Senior correspondent Byun Baekhyun, Associated Press. Of course he knows who wrote that stuff about him! The whole world does!”
“Oh, shit.” The earth is spinning all over again, flashes of frustration and regret warring for dominance over Baekhyun's nervous system and he almost blacks out.
"Whoa there! Are you gonna make it in there to talk to the guy? Should I call an ambulance?" Luhan's eyes are as wide as his mouth, which is hanging open in an unattractive stretch of his jaw.
"Just let me get this over with," Baekhyun replies with a bitter grunt, hoisting himself to his feet.
His knees are shaking as he strides across the hall to knock on Luhan's office door, but he's proud of himself for keeping his voice from wavering as he steps into the room with a demure greeting on his lips.
"Come in."
The man standing in front of Luhan's heavy oak desk is shorter than Baekhyun was expecting, though his face has the same expression of calculated neutrality as the look he's wearing in the photo that appeared at the top of Baekhyun's article. His glasses match the ones in the official portrait, too, dark frames nearly identical to the pair Baekhyun is pushing up the bridge of his own nose with nervous fingers.
The president’s son is not dressed in one of the dark suits he wears to press conferences, though. Today Kyungsoo is in casual wear of the amateur sportsman variety, showcasing a style similar to outfit in the paparazzi shots of his golfing holiday last summer. Baekhyun ran across those tabloid pictures in a neglected corner of the internet while researching his article last week. (He may or may not have saved a few to his phone gallery, but only for style pointers to remember the next time Jongdae drags him to the mall. Definitely not because Baekhyun thought he looked cute in golfing gloves with a plaid kerchief tied around his throat, no siree).
Kyungsoo's midnight black polo matches the pink one Baekhyun is wearing as well, though the logo emblazoned on the chest indicates he paid far more for it than Baekhyun's entire outfit cost put together. Baekhyun wouldn't mind forking over a few hundred thousand Won for a pair of Kyungsoo's tight slacks, though, if the white stretch material would make his ass look as good as the one posed in front of him.
A sharp ahem jerks Baekhyun's attention up to meet Kyungsoo's eyes, and his face heats in sudden flush of humiliation when he realizes he was caught staring. Not the way Baekhyun likes to make first impressions, though he probably ruined all chances of making one before he ever found himself face to face with the man before him.
"Mr. Byun, I presume? My name is Kyungsoo, as you might have gathered." He folds his arms across his chest, watching Baekhyun over the rims of his glasses as if waiting for him to make the next move.
"I'm not sure I can really explain what h-happened," Baekhyun starts with a nervous yelp, "but due to technical difficulties I had to finish typing that article on my phone and--long story short, my autocorrect and I have a lot of apologizing to--!"
“No. I don't want to hear it." Kyungsoo holds up a hand, silencing Baekhyun's protests. "I really don't care what the story behind that typo-ridden draft getting published is. Editor Shim has already reassured me a re-print will be issued immediately with an explanatory note to make things clear to the public."
"But--! But I just ruined your career," Baekhyun gasps, the tips of his fingers and toes tingling in disbelief. "And you don't really care?"
"Please," Kyungsoo snorts, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Don't flatter yourself by thinking your sloppy piece of writing could single-handedly demolish my entire career. I would appreciate it if you proofread your work before handing it in, though any press is good press these days with the election coming up."
"I-in that case, I'm so sorry for being presumptuous, sir! I--"
Kyungsoo cuts him off with another exasperated sigh. "I suppose if you are this intent on telling me how sorry you are, you can apologize by agreeing to have coffee with me.”
“Ex...cuse me?” Baekhyun blinks several times in rapid succession, shuffling forward a few paces to examine Kyungsoo's face in confusion. “You mean you didn’t personally come here in your big shiny limousine to get me fired and then publicly humiliate me on national television?”
“No,” Kyungsoo smirks with a slight shake of his head. “I came here because I finally had an excuse to meet you, Byun Baekhyun of the acerbic wit and eerily accurate track record predicting major stock market shifts and socialite scandals."
"Wait..." Baekhyun feels for the armrest of the nearest chair, hoping he can find some piece of furniture to collapse on before the continuing shock takes over his system and shuts down his brain. "You know who I am? You knew who I was before all that shit went down this morning?"
Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow in surprise at Baekhyun's lapse of professional speech, but just gives him an amused smile when Baekhyun slaps a hand over his mouth with a squeak of mortification.
"I've been following your editorial column since you landed this position at SMBS. Your writing is quite witty at times, in between the inane entries that on weeks that seem like you've run out of anything worth saying. I always hope you’ll come to National Association of Journalists charity gala hosted at the Blue House every New Years', but you've declined the RSVP every year.”
“Ah, well," Baekhyun gives a shaky laugh, flushing hotter with embarrassment as he rubs at the back of his neck. "I hate wearing suits, so of course I always make a subordinate go in my stead.”
“I see." Kyungsoo taps his index finger against the back of his black leather phone case. "Well lucky for you, you won’t be needing a suit to join me for coffee a date. So how about it? You, me, and my big shiny limousine head to the nearest cafe for some coffee?”
"I--I don't know," Baekhyun hesitates, resisting the urge to fiddle with his glasses like a nervous teenager accepting an invitation to their first prom.
"I skipped a ribbon cutting ceremony for the new children's hospital to come see you, are you really going to turn me down?" Kyungsoo's gaze cuts into Baekhyun like the steel claws of a bionic kitten, simultaneously dangerous and cute. He steps closer, as if attempting to stare down the the journalist in battle of wills.
Baekhyun is only too willing to accept an invitation for coffee with a cute dude in glasses, however, especially one as smart and talented as the president's son. He is giddy with relief and delight on his way back to the office three hours later, secure in the knowledge that he won't be getting fired after all, and that he has Kyungsoo's personal cell number saved to his address book.
He'd had such fun on the impromptu date he hadn’t bothered to check his messages until now that he’s on his way to the office in the back of a cab. The first notification is from Luhan, which Baekhyun opens immediately just in case it's something urgent. Despite the stunning reversal of fortunes, Baekhyun is well aware that the fallout from the shitstorm he caused is far from over.
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 11:19AM duuuude are you ok??
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 11:20AM JDae saw you get dragged out by the rich brat and carried off in his limo like teh spoilz of war!!!
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 11:49AM wellll text back if ur alive n u need anything otherwize RIP BAeK T__T
Baekhyun sighs, torn between sad laughter and tears of resignation as rolls his head against the seat back. He types out a quick message to let his boss know he's still alive, not bothering to check to the string of texts from Jongdae since he knows Luhan will forward his reply to the whole office anyway.
to Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 2:35PM thanks for ur concern, boss. things are ay-okay and otw back to tell u abt stuff
to Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 2:36PM oh & no need to lick me up, I caught a cab
Baekhyun hits send as another message pops up, a bubble of stomach-curdling affection bubbling in his chest when he sees who it's from:
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:36PM I just wanted to thank you again for agreeing to have coffee with me today. I quite enjoyed our--
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:37PMto QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:37PM oh yeah tx man!! same here :)) ;)))
Baekhyun can't contain his squeal of excitement when a reply pops up right away:
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:37PM though there is one point I forgot to clarify that might be of interest to you; there was one--
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:38PM --thing your auto correct got right… I do enjoy eating ass in my free time, tho not with my chortle
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:38PM *childhood friends u.u
Baekhyun almost chokes on the wad of gum in his mouth, partly in shock but more so from the fiery surge anticipation that floods his gut. It takes him more than three tries to type back his reply with trembling fingers:
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:41PM dude no fair sexting like that I have to go back to work now T_____T (does this mean I get to touch ur
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:42PM apple too at our GoT marathon on saturday??)
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:42PM god damsel it >:P sorrrry!! I meant *ass
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:43PM DUCKING auto crustacean!! orz
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:43PM I glove up >//////<;;
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:45PM I’m glad I decided to keep you, you’re cute *^^*
Baekhyun’s face is on fire and he hands the cab driver 50,000 Won when the taxi pulls up in front of the office, too flustered to handle the change. He manages to pull himself together in the elevator, but then his phone buzzes. Baekhyun can’t stop his hand from reaching into his pocket to read the message that will probably leave him banging his head against the padded wall and/or spending a frustrating afternoon squirming in uncomfortably tight pants.
The message turns out not to be from Kyungsoo though, but Baekhyun opens it anyway:
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 3:01PM LICK YOU UP?! duuuuude u_u
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 3:02PM u rly need to fix ur auto erect ;~;
Rating: pg-13
Pairing: BaekSoo
Warnings: language, sexual humor, non-graphic allusions to rimming
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, written just for fun.
Summary: Baekhyun has a horrible Tuesday, and it is all the fault of his mother ducking auto erect.
A/N: originally posted at soonenamoured fic fest 2015
"Yo yo yo," Jongdae chirps as he swings into Baekhyun's office. His voice is almost as annoying as their boss Luhan's, who he is currently trying and failing to imitate. "Long time no--"
“What now!” Baekhyun snarls in disgust. This is not the morning to for him to be dealing with inane conversations with his coworker. He has absolutely no time for this, as he’s far too busy dealing with his stupid keyboard at the moment. The keys keep sticking and only two thirds of the strokes appear on the word doc on his computer screen.
It's times like these Baekhyun gets nostalgic for the good old days, when people used typewriters instead of having to deal with finicky technology. This is not the first headache his keyboard has caused him in recent history. Yesterday the shift key completely stopped working an hour before his deadline. No one in IT was available to save his frantic ass, so Baekhyun ended up typing out the last paragraphs of his article and tweaking the formatting on his phone before submitting it to the managing editor.
He's just about to give up in frustration and switch to his phone today as well when the keyboard starts working again. Baekhyun relaxes as he picks up his flow again, letting down his guard for a moment. Then the 'S' key starts sticking when he tries to type "unsuccessfully", and he knows that today is just not his day. It figures, though. Today is Tuesday, and Baekhyun has always hated Tuesdays.
Baekhyun shoves the keyboard tray back into the desk with a strangled curse, and is even more annoyed when he looks up to find Jongdae still lingering in the doorway.
"Why are you still here? Fuck off, Dae!"
“Um, did you check the headlines this morning? Because you might want to if you haven’t.” Jongdae waves a newspaper in his hand, the crisp folds of the issue hot off the presses. Baekhyun just snorts, turning back to his screen.
“Why would I need to do that? I write the headlines, Jongdae.”
“I know.” Jongdae tosses the newspaper across Baekhyun’s keyboard, halting any progress he might have made. The frontliner news this morning is nothing shocking or particularly sobering, so Baekhyun doesn’t understand why Jongdae’s making a big deal out of it. It's been a long summer, quite dull on the international affairs front. Only the record breaking heat waves have been out of the ordinary, and updates on the weather can only keep the national interest for so many daily editions, thus the less than eye-grabbing feature on today’s front page.
It’s just some human interest story Baekhyun had banged out for his last assignment, something about the president's son and his brilliant academic career, yada yada. The only reason Baekhyun has accepted an assignment this snooze worthy is because there was literally nothing else better to work on (and also because Luhan had resorted to blackmail, threatening to ban him from the Dunkin Donuts on the ground floor of the office building. Hey, Baekhyun knows his priorities and he stands by them, a major part of the reason he's climbed so far up the communications and broadcasting ladder by the tender young age of 25).
"Please remove this scrap paper and let me finish typing in peace.” Baekhyun pushes his glasses up onto his head and massages his fingertips into his temples, feeling a stress migraine coming on. “Oh hey, you don't happen to have Kyuhyun from IT's cell number, do you? Because I keep getting--"
"Baekhyun," Jongdae huffs, "just read."
Baekhyun's eyes follow the line of Jongdae's finger as it trails under the fat black characters at the top of the page, the uninspired title he had slapped on his finished article five minutes before his deadline:
President's Son Earns B.S. with Cum Load Honors
"Oh! Holy--!" Baekhyun slams a fist into his chest, turning to stare at Jongdae in horror. Jongdae just gives his head a slight shake and rattles the paper in front of Baekhyun.
"Just keep reading."
...blowing through national skeptics' criticisms of President Kwon's only child, Do Kyungsoo has proven himself a brilliant asset to the powerful political family, members of which also include his uncle and Deputy Minister of Culture, Sports and Tourism, Jung Yunho; as well as Undersecretary of the Ministry Gender Equality and Family, second cousin Lee Jonghyun. Leading up to the national elections next spring, President Kwon (infamously nicknamed 'The BoA Constrictor' by the opposition line) could use every bit of positive press to her favor.
Let's take a closer look at the multi-faceted image of the president's heir...
Baekhyun tracks Jongdae's finger as it skims down the column, halting at the last paragraph just as abruptly as Baekhyun's heart stops when he reads what's printed:
...despite his prince-like image as an avid tennis player and conservative fashionista, Mr. Do enjoys many ordinary activities in the company of his childhood friends, such as watching popular HBO drama Game of throbs, and eating ass cream...
That's as far as Baekhyun gets before his vision starts to slide into 4D, the beautiful swirl of colors merging before his eyes and getting trapped in his throat when he inhales signaling that this is it, this is the end of Byun Baekhyun, senior correspondent for SMBS news.
"My career is over," Baekhyun gasps out, latching onto Jongdae's arm with a death grip. "Do I sit here and wait to get fired, or do I flee now and emigrate to Madagascar?"
"Dude, I don't even know..." Jongdae shakes his head as he slides into a sitting position on the edge of Baekhyun's desk. "It’s lucky for the rest of us that Jung Yunho guy you mentioned in the article owns half of the syndicate, otherwise the president would no doubt be suing SMBS, Inc. for the net worth of Monaco by now."
"Shit," Baekhyun cusses at the blur of black print still sliding in and out of focus before his eyes. "What do I--!"
They both freeze, gripping onto each other's hands all the tighter when the phone rings.
"H-hello?" Baekhyun's voice rattles in his throat like a bag of instant popcorn left in the microwave on the highest setting.
"I'm not even going to ask you to explain yourself, Byun. PR is already doing a better job of damage control than you could even dream of, so please keep your mouth shut in public, especially on SNS. That order stands until we decide how to proceed from here. That is all."
"Y-yes, boss," Baekhyun stutters, whimpering in despair when the editor in chief hangs up with a disgusted snort. If he just received a personal call from Shim Changmin himself instead of his division manager Luhan, Baekhyun knows this is bad news, like bad. Worse than the time Chanyeol tried to interview the senior pastor of that one mega church with a set of questions they had prepared for a newly debuted porn star, probably.
Baekhyun doesn't have to wait long to hear from Luhan too, however. The division manager pages him seconds later with a message even more terrifying than a warrant for his arrest:
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 10:39AM come to my office immediately, u have a guest waiting to speak with u.
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 10:41AM its do ksoo btw, so you better be POLite or I will end you before any1 else getsa chance 2!!!! >:{ !!!!
"It's been nice knowing you, dude." Jongdae hops down from the desk and gathers him into a rib cracking hug, burying his face in Baekhyun's polo. Baekhyun doesn't shake him off for once, despite the heat. He's too dazed to do more than shuffle blindly to the elevator with Jongdae still clinging to his shoulders.
Jongdae helps him press the button for Luhan's floor and waves goodbye to Baekhyun as the elevator doors slide closed with a steely grind of finality. Yes, this is it, this is the end...
Luhan grabs Baekhyun by the wrist before he's even out of the elevator, yanking him around the corner. Luhan ducks behind a potted palm tree that really should have been moved to a balcony years ago, the fronds of which are brushing the ceiling tiles above them.
"He's still waiting in my office," Luhan sniffs, his eyes pools of liquid sorrow as he blinks languidly at Baekhyun. "I just wanted to see you with my own eyes once more before sending you off to your doom!"
Luhan's cold fingers sliding over his cheeks as he cups his face snap Baekhyun out of his state of denial and into an angry panic. He slaps Luhan's hands away from his head with a furious hiss.
“Who's fault is it that he's here, huh? How on earth was it legal for you to hand out my personal information like that! I'm not afraid to become a whistleblower exposing corporate invasion of personal privacy! That is a crime you know!”
“I didn’t tell him anything, Baekhyun. Will you please calm down?” Luhan knocks his head against the trunk of the palm tree with a heavy sigh, sending a rain of withered fronds down on Baekhyun's shoulders.
“Then how did he know my name! How did he find me here!”
“Baekhyun.” Luhan taps the front page of the newspaper he has clutched to his chest. “See here? Your name is printed right below the headline: Senior correspondent Byun Baekhyun, Associated Press. Of course he knows who wrote that stuff about him! The whole world does!”
“Oh, shit.” The earth is spinning all over again, flashes of frustration and regret warring for dominance over Baekhyun's nervous system and he almost blacks out.
"Whoa there! Are you gonna make it in there to talk to the guy? Should I call an ambulance?" Luhan's eyes are as wide as his mouth, which is hanging open in an unattractive stretch of his jaw.
"Just let me get this over with," Baekhyun replies with a bitter grunt, hoisting himself to his feet.
His knees are shaking as he strides across the hall to knock on Luhan's office door, but he's proud of himself for keeping his voice from wavering as he steps into the room with a demure greeting on his lips.
"Come in."
The man standing in front of Luhan's heavy oak desk is shorter than Baekhyun was expecting, though his face has the same expression of calculated neutrality as the look he's wearing in the photo that appeared at the top of Baekhyun's article. His glasses match the ones in the official portrait, too, dark frames nearly identical to the pair Baekhyun is pushing up the bridge of his own nose with nervous fingers.
The president’s son is not dressed in one of the dark suits he wears to press conferences, though. Today Kyungsoo is in casual wear of the amateur sportsman variety, showcasing a style similar to outfit in the paparazzi shots of his golfing holiday last summer. Baekhyun ran across those tabloid pictures in a neglected corner of the internet while researching his article last week. (He may or may not have saved a few to his phone gallery, but only for style pointers to remember the next time Jongdae drags him to the mall. Definitely not because Baekhyun thought he looked cute in golfing gloves with a plaid kerchief tied around his throat, no siree).
Kyungsoo's midnight black polo matches the pink one Baekhyun is wearing as well, though the logo emblazoned on the chest indicates he paid far more for it than Baekhyun's entire outfit cost put together. Baekhyun wouldn't mind forking over a few hundred thousand Won for a pair of Kyungsoo's tight slacks, though, if the white stretch material would make his ass look as good as the one posed in front of him.
A sharp ahem jerks Baekhyun's attention up to meet Kyungsoo's eyes, and his face heats in sudden flush of humiliation when he realizes he was caught staring. Not the way Baekhyun likes to make first impressions, though he probably ruined all chances of making one before he ever found himself face to face with the man before him.
"Mr. Byun, I presume? My name is Kyungsoo, as you might have gathered." He folds his arms across his chest, watching Baekhyun over the rims of his glasses as if waiting for him to make the next move.
"I'm not sure I can really explain what h-happened," Baekhyun starts with a nervous yelp, "but due to technical difficulties I had to finish typing that article on my phone and--long story short, my autocorrect and I have a lot of apologizing to--!"
“No. I don't want to hear it." Kyungsoo holds up a hand, silencing Baekhyun's protests. "I really don't care what the story behind that typo-ridden draft getting published is. Editor Shim has already reassured me a re-print will be issued immediately with an explanatory note to make things clear to the public."
"But--! But I just ruined your career," Baekhyun gasps, the tips of his fingers and toes tingling in disbelief. "And you don't really care?"
"Please," Kyungsoo snorts, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Don't flatter yourself by thinking your sloppy piece of writing could single-handedly demolish my entire career. I would appreciate it if you proofread your work before handing it in, though any press is good press these days with the election coming up."
"I-in that case, I'm so sorry for being presumptuous, sir! I--"
Kyungsoo cuts him off with another exasperated sigh. "I suppose if you are this intent on telling me how sorry you are, you can apologize by agreeing to have coffee with me.”
“Ex...cuse me?” Baekhyun blinks several times in rapid succession, shuffling forward a few paces to examine Kyungsoo's face in confusion. “You mean you didn’t personally come here in your big shiny limousine to get me fired and then publicly humiliate me on national television?”
“No,” Kyungsoo smirks with a slight shake of his head. “I came here because I finally had an excuse to meet you, Byun Baekhyun of the acerbic wit and eerily accurate track record predicting major stock market shifts and socialite scandals."
"Wait..." Baekhyun feels for the armrest of the nearest chair, hoping he can find some piece of furniture to collapse on before the continuing shock takes over his system and shuts down his brain. "You know who I am? You knew who I was before all that shit went down this morning?"
Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow in surprise at Baekhyun's lapse of professional speech, but just gives him an amused smile when Baekhyun slaps a hand over his mouth with a squeak of mortification.
"I've been following your editorial column since you landed this position at SMBS. Your writing is quite witty at times, in between the inane entries that on weeks that seem like you've run out of anything worth saying. I always hope you’ll come to National Association of Journalists charity gala hosted at the Blue House every New Years', but you've declined the RSVP every year.”
“Ah, well," Baekhyun gives a shaky laugh, flushing hotter with embarrassment as he rubs at the back of his neck. "I hate wearing suits, so of course I always make a subordinate go in my stead.”
“I see." Kyungsoo taps his index finger against the back of his black leather phone case. "Well lucky for you, you won’t be needing a suit to join me for coffee a date. So how about it? You, me, and my big shiny limousine head to the nearest cafe for some coffee?”
"I--I don't know," Baekhyun hesitates, resisting the urge to fiddle with his glasses like a nervous teenager accepting an invitation to their first prom.
"I skipped a ribbon cutting ceremony for the new children's hospital to come see you, are you really going to turn me down?" Kyungsoo's gaze cuts into Baekhyun like the steel claws of a bionic kitten, simultaneously dangerous and cute. He steps closer, as if attempting to stare down the the journalist in battle of wills.
Baekhyun is only too willing to accept an invitation for coffee with a cute dude in glasses, however, especially one as smart and talented as the president's son. He is giddy with relief and delight on his way back to the office three hours later, secure in the knowledge that he won't be getting fired after all, and that he has Kyungsoo's personal cell number saved to his address book.
He'd had such fun on the impromptu date he hadn’t bothered to check his messages until now that he’s on his way to the office in the back of a cab. The first notification is from Luhan, which Baekhyun opens immediately just in case it's something urgent. Despite the stunning reversal of fortunes, Baekhyun is well aware that the fallout from the shitstorm he caused is far from over.
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 11:19AM duuuude are you ok??
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 11:20AM JDae saw you get dragged out by the rich brat and carried off in his limo like teh spoilz of war!!!
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 11:49AM wellll text back if ur alive n u need anything otherwize RIP BAeK T__T
Baekhyun sighs, torn between sad laughter and tears of resignation as rolls his head against the seat back. He types out a quick message to let his boss know he's still alive, not bothering to check to the string of texts from Jongdae since he knows Luhan will forward his reply to the whole office anyway.
to Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 2:35PM thanks for ur concern, boss. things are ay-okay and otw back to tell u abt stuff
to Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 2:36PM oh & no need to lick me up, I caught a cab
Baekhyun hits send as another message pops up, a bubble of stomach-curdling affection bubbling in his chest when he sees who it's from:
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:36PM I just wanted to thank you again for agreeing to have coffee with me today. I quite enjoyed our--
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:37PMto QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:37PM oh yeah tx man!! same here :)) ;)))
Baekhyun can't contain his squeal of excitement when a reply pops up right away:
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:37PM though there is one point I forgot to clarify that might be of interest to you; there was one--
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:38PM --thing your auto correct got right… I do enjoy eating ass in my free time, tho not with my chortle
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:38PM *childhood friends u.u
Baekhyun almost chokes on the wad of gum in his mouth, partly in shock but more so from the fiery surge anticipation that floods his gut. It takes him more than three tries to type back his reply with trembling fingers:
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:41PM dude no fair sexting like that I have to go back to work now T_____T (does this mean I get to touch ur
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:42PM apple too at our GoT marathon on saturday??)
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:42PM god damsel it >:P sorrrry!! I meant *ass
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:43PM DUCKING auto crustacean!! orz
to QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:43PM I glove up >//////<;;
from QT a** KyungS<3<3 aka GENIUS: 2:45PM I’m glad I decided to keep you, you’re cute *^^*
Baekhyun’s face is on fire and he hands the cab driver 50,000 Won when the taxi pulls up in front of the office, too flustered to handle the change. He manages to pull himself together in the elevator, but then his phone buzzes. Baekhyun can’t stop his hand from reaching into his pocket to read the message that will probably leave him banging his head against the padded wall and/or spending a frustrating afternoon squirming in uncomfortably tight pants.
The message turns out not to be from Kyungsoo though, but Baekhyun opens it anyway:
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 3:01PM LICK YOU UP?! duuuuude u_u
from Div. Manager-nim aka Ludumb: 3:02PM u rly need to fix ur auto erect ;~;