Not Really a Love Song (2/8)
Title: Not Really a Love Song (Full Circle pt. 2)
Pairing: Jongdae/Joonmyun
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: experimental prose, terminal illness, major character death
Disclaimer: I own nothing, written just for fun.
A/N: Thank you to
bluedreaming who helped with a lot of things. (and I'm sorry, Jongdae T.T)
Soundtrack is here. First part originally posted here.
After
I.
Joonmyun does
not sing in the
shower-
(ring of light)
walls too thin despite
the newness of the place
(across the table)
empty.
With
out Jongdae every-
thing
is
empty.
Joonmyun’s rice bowl is
not used much
these days.
Paper c
(ut)
arton
s
litter his
empty
table and his
hands
they are often sticky with
regret
oily sauce
oily cologne that does
not smell right
anymore
of this emptiness of the place
he’ll have to leave.
It makes his skin
crawl-
(ing down the narrow hall)
the antiseptic room
pure porcelain
no more pain
killers
(lined along the ledges
crept against the window
sills)
stalk his dreams.
his night is
empty.
these days.
Joonmyun-
II.
Not
really a letter if
there’s no unfolding of edges and
integrating of
me
you
here
this
Not
really a letter if
it stays hidden between pages and
orange peels
molding
cracking
sour
dry
Not
really a confession if
you want it but
you’re not really
sorry
sincere
repentant
anguished
Not
really a kiss if
there’s too much
in the way
looking
walking
locking
away
Not
really a love song if
there’s
no
one
left
to
love
?
III.
if
cigarettes are
something bad inside
(Joonmyun)
is
at least something.
tangerines are
bright acid orange inside
(Joonmyun)
is
as advertised, not a lie.
lives are
fluid into outof time
(Joonmyun)
is
not sure anymore at all.
(part one here) (part three here)