Fic: Seeing Past La Vie en Rose 2/3
Title: Seeing Past La Vie en Rose
Fandom: American Idol S8
Pairing: Kris Allen/Adam Lambert
Genre: Romance Movie AU
Word Count: 22,918
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Strong Sexual Content
Master Post| Part One|Part Two| Part Three
Winter, 2005, Los Angeles, California
“A veritable bunch of theatre fags and hags!” Scarlett shouted out one night before announcing that she and Lee were driving to Vegas to get hitched because she wasn’t “going to be one of those fucking bridezilla bitches, no stress, no mess!”
After all the congratulations were given out the logistics of the trip began to get planned out. A caravan of cars drove the four hours to Las Vegas where Adam served as maid of honor, and caught the bouquet. He laughed as he held the fake flowers in his hands, but at the same time Sauli’s words from while he was on tour flashed across his mind again.
Back in LA Adam moved in with Tommy, the two of them meshing as roommates in a way that neither of them really expected, and picked up a position in the chorus and as an understudy in the LA production of Wicked. He enjoyed the show and loved the people, but more and more Adam was realizing that theatre wasn’t what he wanted. What he really loved was singing at the Cabaret; more and more he began to realize that all he wanted to do was be out in front, singing his own stuff, people wanting to hear him and him alone.
He got introduced to a guy named Monte who was a fucking amazing guitarist and seemed to know how to shop around demos and get people to listen. The two of them worked amazingly well together, even writing some songs that got used in the demos that were sent to different studios. But it ended up crumbling down around Adam as he realized that Monte was selling the songs and not cutting Adam in and when he had promised to give his demos to a friend of his they were empty promises. By this point, Adam had given up his job with Wicked, banking on something pulling through but now he had nothing.
Summer, 2009, Black Rock City, Nevada
It was Scarlett, with the help of Alisan, who planned a trip that would at least give Adam a change in scenery and the rest of them a chance to relax and rejuvenate. This time it was out to Burning Man to spend ten days out in the desert. The drive out to the playa was long and Adam spent a good portion of it in quiet contemplation of what had been happening for the past few months and years. He knew he needed to make a change, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it, every bad thing that had been happening was crowding around in his brain making it hard to come up with any new ideas.
“Home sweet tent!” Alisan crowed when she tumbled out of the van they had all driven out in.
Terrance laughed as he climbed out behind her, “Girl, you can rhapsodize about the tent as much as you want after we actually put the damned thing up!”
She flapped her hands at him in a dismissing manner before she wrapped her arms around Adam, “You are going to love it honey! Let’s get the tents up, get changed, and start exploring!”
Adam couldn’t help but laugh at the enthusiasm as he wrapped his own arms around her, “I’m sure!”
Their campsite was a mess of mismatched tents and lean-tos, but they fit in with all the other campsites. There was good natured bickering that went back and forth between Sutan and Danielle as they built one tent, Tommy chiming in every once in a while. Terrance and Alisan were busy with their own tent, leaving Adam to unload the van of their bottles of water, food, and sunscreen.
Scarlett, though she helped to plan the trip, thought better of going since she was pregnant and so close to her due date. “Adam,” she had said just before they left, “You better be back before this kid pops out of me, cause you are going to be his god-father.” Incredibly touched, all Adam could do was hug her tightly before promising to make it back before the birth. In solidarity with his wife, Lee stayed behind as well, wishing them a good time.
By the time all the tents up were up, everyone had started sweating and feeling the dust begin to gather on their skin. Danielle and Alisan pulled Adam into a tent to help cover him in sunscreen and change clothes. While Adam still had lingering body image issues, he couldn’t help but feel the energy of the camp and how non-judgmental it all was. Soon, he found himself in cut off shorts, boots, goggles, and a headband as his only clothing.
The rest of the day was spent riding bikes around the playa and talking with others who were veterans and newbies of Burning Man. Bottles of water were never far from hand and every person they talked to made sure they were staying hydrated. Slowly, Adam could feel his brain start to calm down and just be present. The days faded together into a haze of drugs, dancing, music, new and old friends, and being one with the world.
“Danielle,” Adam poked his friend one evening close to the end of their stay. “Danielle, I’m gunna go for a walk and maybe stay out and sleep at the temple.”
Danielle gave him a sleepy thumbs up before she face planted back into her sleeping bag, “I’ll tell Tommy when he comes in later.”
“Thanks,” he said before patting her on the head and slipping out of the tent.
Three fresh water bottles tucked into the basket of his bike along with a blanket, Adam peddled out and around the playa. He didn’t go far, but enough away that the sounds of the camps were muted and light wasn’t so bright. The blanket got pulled out from the basket and spread out so that Adam could lay back and look up at the sky. He could still feel the drugs working their way through his system, but Adam felt startlingly sober as he watched the stars above him. A shooting star swept across the sky, the bright tail burning the sky for long seconds before it faded away.
In that moment, Adam had this moment of clarity. “If anything is ever going to happen, I have to be the one to take those steps. No more middle men, just me.” Another burning star blazed across the sky, and he took it as affirmation from the universe that that was the right track for him to take.
“Ugh, I feel like I could sleep until next year!” Danielle moaned as she collapsed onto Tommy and Adam’s couch. “I mean, the whole week and a half was amazing and so much fun, but damn, my liver needs a break and I still think I’m sweating out the last of the ‘shrooms that Terrance brought. Who knew boy had such amazing connections?”
Adam laughed as he dumped his bags onto the floor in the entryway; Tommy head-butted against him since he was blocking the other man from moving farther into the room. The blonde’s own bags fell from his hands as he wrapped his arms around Adam in a hug and ground his forehead into Adam’s shoulder. “I think someone is a sleepy kitty!” Adam patted at the arms wrapped around him.
“Fuck off,” came muffled from behind him. Adam began a shuffling dance forward with Tommy still holding tight to him. When they finally made it into the living room where Danielle seemed to have set up camp and was in serious thought of marrying the couch she was laying on. Executing a spinning slash pushing maneuver, Adam was able to untangle himself from Tommy and send him sprawling on top of Danielle.
“The fuck?” Danielle yelled as Tommy landed on her. He just sighed and seemed to melt on top of his friend, no intent of moving anywhere in sight. She frowned at Adam before her hand came up, seemingly without her own volition, and began petting and playing with Tommy’s hair.
“I’m going to make some tea, either of you want?” Adam asked as he moved into the kitchen. Two affirmative grunts reached his ears as he began to pull out the mugs and tea bags before setting the kettle on the stove.
There wasn’t much noise other than the soft sounds of him moving around the kitchen and the occasional sound of Danielle hitting a good spot on Tommy’s scalp and making him murmur happily. They all were such close friends, their entire group, but it seemed like Adam, Tommy, and Danielle were the most bonded out of them all. Adam and Danielle due to the years of back history and Tommy, because he just fit with them, and not in any way that any of them could explain. The silence in the apartment wasn’t heavy in any way; it was actually really nice after spending ten days in such an outrageous and different atmosphere.
Adam was leaning on the kitchen counter playing with one of the mugs when Danielle called to him. “Yeah?” he asked, moving back into the living room.
She looked at him for a moment, “Think you are going to try at Jive again?”
There was only one demo tape that Adam had personally shopped around to the studios. It was of only him singing, not the band that he and Monte had created and tried to get off the ground. Most of the studios never even bothered to return Adam’s calls, their silence a loud enough answer for Adam to understand, but he did end up getting one call from Jive just before he had left for Burning Man with them actually calling to say that they weren’t interested in him as an artist. The woman on the phone though didn’t leave it at that.
“Adam, you are good. You’re actually fucking amazing, but I work for people who can’t see past the end of their own noses half the time and they see something in you that isn’t quote unquote controllable. That said, I know some people who are pretty open minded and actually willing to take chances on something new that are going to be at an open mic at Michaelmas, that bar on 18th Street, in three weeks. If you really think you’ve got it, be at that open mic and be nothing but yourself.”
The whistle of the kettle kept him from answering Danielle. He walked back into the kitchen, his mind spinning, and poured their teas. He came back out, a mug in each hand that he placed on the coffee table for Danielle and Tommy, who managed to heave himself off of Danielle and into an upright position. Another quick trip into the kitchen and he returned, his own tea in hand to sit in the papasan chair next to the couch.
“You know that night I kinda wandered off and I didn’t come back to camp until the next morning?” Adam asked while looking into his mug of tea.
Tommy grunted, “Yeah you fucker, scared me and Alisan half to death since you only told Sleepy here,” he poked Danielle in the side with his elbow, “where you were going and she was asleep the entire time we were looking for you!”
He and Danielle, her more due to Tommy’s sharp as hell elbows, winced at the reminder. “Yeah, well, I kinda had a vision?”
“What had you taken?”
Adam shrugged, “I was coming off of the ‘shrooms and maybe had just shot gunned with one of the boys in the camp next to us, but either way, I wasn’t like, totally wasted. I had just enough to let my mind really relax and wander.” He sighed and sipped his tea, “I’ve been so stressed and upset over the shit storm with Monte and it is getting closer and closer to the holidays and Neil made me promise to go out to Dallas to spend time with Dad and him this year. And all I’ve been doing is worrying about going back to Dallas and this fucking open mic night and it was just all swirling around in my head the entire time we were there.
“But then, that night, it was like I had finally hit the right balance of everything. I just went out and laid down looking up at the sky. The stars were dancing and then suddenly they stilled with one just burning across the sky and it came to me --- I won’t be able to be who I want to be until I actually put myself out there and do the work myself, no more getting someone else to hand things over. I have to go out there and grip life and opportunity by the balls!”
Danielle gave a whoop of joy, almost spilling her tea on Tommy who dodged out of the way of her flailing arms. “Preach! And you know that all of us are going to be there on Tuesday cheering you on!”
He laughed at her shouts, her tiredness having swung to the buzzy side of things. Adam looked over at Tommy who just nodded in agreement, his own eyes drooping in exhaustion. These are my best friends, Adam thought as he watched them suddenly start pushing and tugging at each other like puppies. These are the people who make me better and worth seeing.
Winter, 2009, Dallas, Texas
“Fucker, where are you?” Adam laughed into his phone while pulling his bags behind him out to the Arrivals pick up at the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport.
Neil sighed gustily, “Fucking meetings! Who knew that meetings for an online magazine would be so fucking annoying and tedious? I just left the office and won’t get to the airport for another hour or so.”
“Dude, I’ll just get a taxi. It isn’t like I don’t know how to get to the house. Remember, I’m the one that Dad taught to drive by letting me the Benz back from the airport.”
“Come on! I promised Dad that I wouldn’t just leave you alone on your first trip back after eight fucking years!”
“Suck it up! I’ll see you at the house,” Adam then ended the call in the middle of Neil’s sputtering. Admittedly, he had been looking forward to getting all the gossip from Neil on the way there, but he could chat the taxi driver up and get some of the good gossip from him once he dropped who is dad was. Drivers, no matter what the car, stuck together and actually knew what was going on in a particular city. Just as he was about to hail a passing cab when a familiar red convertible Corvette came close. Adam just grinned as he watched Brad Bell drive past him, their eyes catching before the car came to a quick stop just past Adam.
Brad smiled at Adam, “You need a ride somewhere?” There was no recognition in his eyes and Adam’s first thought was, ‘Oh, this is going to be fun!’
“Sure Brad, I think you are heading in the same direction I’ll be going,” he smirked at the surprised look on Brad’s face and tossed his bags into the back seat of the car before sliding into the passenger seat.
Brad silently started driving, every once in a while looking over at Adam in puzzlement. “Do we know each other?”
“We certainly do,” Adam grinned while shooting a quick text to Danielle to say he was on his way to the house.
Brad frowned, “Our parents know each other, right?”
“Yup,” and when Adam offered nothing else the car fell silent for a few minutes.
“What does your father do? It is through your father, right?”
Adam paused for a moment before he laughed softly, “He’s in the business of cars.”
“You can’t be a Ford, can you?”
That brought a full laugh from Adam, “Well no, but my father does work with Ford, and Chrysler, and Royce, and BMW.”
Brad was stunned into silence as he continued to drive along, his eyes cutting back to Adam every once in a while. “You seem so familiar! Come on,” he turned puppy-dog eyes on Adam, lower lip out in an obvious pout, “can’t you give me a hint? Just a small one?”
“Nope,” Adam grinned, “I’m having way too much fun to tell you now!”
They chatted back and forth for the rest of the drive, Brad peppering Adam with questions and him responding back with beguiling answers. As they got closer and closer to the house Adam began directing Brad on the turns to make, the other man taking the directions on auto-pilot. It wasn’t until they drove through the gates to the Bell’s mansion that Brad began to realize where they were. “But, this is where I live!”
“Hi neighbor!” Adam grinned at Brad, movement to the side of the car catching his eye. He turned away from Brad’s surprised eyes to see Kris standing against the side of the garage. Kris hadn’t gained much height from when Adam had last seen him, but there was muscle and strength in him that hadn’t been there eight years ago. When their eyes met, Kris’ brightened just a bit as he smiled at Adam, pushing away from the wall and heading for his own car, parked right next to Brad’s.
“Welcome home Adam,” Kris murmured, a soft blush turning his cheeks pink.
“Thank you, Kris,” Adam replied back, thinking that it wasn’t just for the welcome home, but for Kris being there for him so long ago. “We’ll have to catch up later.”
The blush turned a brighter pink and Kris ducked his head, smiling, “I’d like that. I’ll be back from the city---”
“Adam?” Brad shouted interrupting Kris and drawing Adam’s gaze back to him.
“Adam!” was shouted out again, this time from the garage as Eber and Neil rushed from inside, huge grins on their faces.
Adam barely realized he was moving before he leapt out from the car and over to his father and brother, hugging them both. The three Lambert men began talking over one another in greetings and mock insults as others from the house began to come outside to see Adam as well. Even Sandra, Daniel, and Neil were on hand to welcome him back home.
Sandra beamed up at Adam, “Oh Adam, you must come to the party this evening! It is my annual pre-Christmas party and it will be the perfect chance for you to see everyone again!”
From the corner of his eyes Adam saw Neil roll his eyes, obviously sure his brother would once again refuse to join in on the festivities as he once always did. “Sandra, I’d be delighted to join you all. I even have a new suit that will be perfect for the occasion.” He paused and looked around, just realizing that Kris was gone.
The entire eight years that Adam had spent in LA, Kris was never really too far from his mind. Even if Brad surrounded his thoughts so often, Kris was a close second, just because of his unfailing support that he had given Adam that last night. The note that he had written him had been tucked into Adam’s wallet just before he left Dallas and it had never left. When he had ended up getting a new wallet, the first things that were transferred over was that note and the photo of Kris and Brad. The note was creased and had started to rip in places, but it was one of his most treasured items, and he never was really sure why it had affected him so much.
Despite how much the note meant though, Adam had never called Kris. He was just too embarrassed by what had happened to actually talk to him afterwards. Neil had kept Adam up to date on all the Allen-Bell’s, Kris included, and he could tell that the two of them were close friends. And for all that Adam had been ridiculously self-absorbed and naive back then; even he saw how much Kris blossomed with Neil’s friendship.
“Adam, that is fantastic!” Brad cooed from his shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. Adam smiled down at the object of his desire for all these years, feeling dark warmth spread through him with all of Brad’s attention on him. “You simply must save me a dance, or two, this evening!”
“Of course,” he murmured, dropping into his lower register and smirking seeing Brad give a soft shiver at the sound. He turned back to Sandra and Neil who both had a strange expression on their faces before they schooled them back into smiles. Adam shook off their looks, he probably imagined the concern on their faces, and smiled back at them. “I’ll go ahead and get settled in and shake out any wrinkles before this evening.”
“Lovely darling,” Sandra murmured, her enthusiasm slightly dimmed as she wrapped her arm around Brad’s, drawing him away. “Come, let us give Adam some time to settle in,” she said, her arm tight around Brad causing him to stumble after her.
“Mom!” was all Adam heard before he was surrounded by his father and Neil again; the two of them grabbing suitcases and herding him up the stairs to his old room.
Eber patted Adam on the shoulder before he disappeared off to drive Neil Allen into the city for a quick meeting before the party. Neil hung around helping Adam to unpack. He was frowning down at the suitcase he was unpacking; it was apparently full of shoes. “Dude, did you really pack a suitcase that was only for your shoes?”
“Duh, I wear a lot of boots, those take up room, thus one suitcase just for shoes,” Adam laughed while he pulled out a black, slim cut suit jacket and tuxedo pants. He carefully hung the pants and jacket in the bathroom door so that they could steam some with his shower later. “Brad certainly seemed surprised to see me. But pleasantly so.”
Neil gritted his teeth as he continued to unpack the shoes -- seriously, how many pairs of black boots did one guy need? -- in the suitcase, his eyes rolling at Adam talking about Brad. “He’s engaged!” he finally burst out.
Adam didn’t pause in his unpacking, having moved on to putting his other clothes onto hangers in the closet, “I know. Dad told me after it happened.” He looked at his brother over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised, “Do you really think I’m also that stupid that I didn’t notice his engagement ring? I mean seriously, the thing is fucking huge.”
That made Neil laugh, “Yeah, the thing can be seen from outer space!”
“Sean must be over compensating,” Adam replied drolly, causing Neil to burst into laughter again.
Of course Adam knew Brad was engaged to Sean Hemeon, All-Star player for the Texas Rangers and son of one of Neil Allen’s major business competitors. Brad and Sean getting married had been touted as the merger of the century, bringing Allen Enterprises and Hemeon, Inc. together under one roof. Pictures of the two of them out and about in NYC and even LA had hit the gossip pages, especially after Brad had gotten into a drinking competition with Paris Hilton and somehow the two of them becoming best friends after he insulted her hair and she insulted his shoes. The fact that they were two openly gay men in Texas getting married, or as close to married as they could in Texas, was also sending the media into a frenzy.
Fox News had even had segments on the impending nuptials. Most seemed to think that it was a sign of the impending collapse of the country as they knew it, but there were a few who were actually starting to seem sympathetic. When neither Allen or Hemeon stock had crashed when the news came out and the prices actually began to soar the tune of the media outlets really began to change towards support. It was actually Kris who had gone on a few of the news shows, giving interviews about the company and the family’s support for Brad and Sean.
That had really been the most surprising thing for Adam, seeing Kris step up to the plate in the business. The Kris that Adam remembered from that summer only wanted to play the guitar and sing; to make music, especially his own. And now, seeing him in business suits and carrying a briefcase made him sad. Even the brief glimpse of him this morning was so different from the young man Adam remembered. But then, eight years can really change someone. It certainly had changed him.
Adam took one final glance at himself in the mirror before leaving his room to head to the party. He knew he looked fierce in the beautifully tailored and detailed suit jacket that was untraditional in its use of studs and leather, his white shirt was fine cotton and open to his breastbone, long necklaces draped around his neck. His hair was swept up in a smooth pompadour, the black gleaming in the lights of the room, and the black liner and shadow around his eyes made the blue of them pop out in the otherwise monochromatic outfit. For a moment he hesitated before opening the door to leave, glancing at his reflection once more.
“You are a fierce LA Queen who is going to show Dallas just what they have been missing,” he said to his reflection before giving a short nod and finally stepping outside.
The music was already drifting out to him. A jazz standard was currently being played by the old fashioned big band that was always a staple of Sandra Bell’s events. He could hear the dull murmurs of the crowd just under the bright music. White fairy lights shone in the trees all along the walkways. Adam could see all of the upper echelon of Dallas society circling around the dance floor on the patio and he took a moment to just soak it all in. It was then that he realized he was standing next to his tree, the one that he had spent so many nights sitting in, watching everyone flit around like butterflies.
And now, now you are one of them, he thought before he took that final step up onto the floor and into the lights.
There wasn’t a decrease in the volume of the music, just the volume of those talking as heads turned to take him in. He could feel them all looking at him, and instead of the nerves he would have once felt, Adam felt the power he held in the situation. And it felt good.
A small grin crossed his lips and before he knew it there was a circle of male and female admirers all around him. Women who wanted fashion tips and to take him to bed and men who wondered at his ease around women and also secretly, or not so secretly, wanted to take him to bed as well. He just laughed and waited, knowing that soon Brad would make his way to him.
“Sean!” Brad’s voice cut across the dance floor enough for Adam to figure out where he was. “You really ought to go to the bathroom and soak your jacket before that red wine stains. I know how much you love this coat,” Brad simpered and fluttered around his tall fiancé.
Sean smiled down at Brad before he nodded, “You’re right. You’ll save a dance for me when I get back?”
“Of course, of course!” Brad fluttered his hands at Sean to shoo him away.
Adam watched it all with amusement in his eyes and when Brad turned in his direction he just raised an eyebrow and quirked a grin at Brad. Brad’s own grin grew as he rushed over to Adam and pulled him out of his circle of admirers and onto the dance floor.
“You can lead, right?” Brad asked impishly.
The deep laugh that came out of Adam surprised a few of the dancers around them, “Of course I can lead! You used to force me to dance with you so that you could learn the follow’s part. Plus,” he leaned in close to Brad’s ear to whisper to him, “being able to dance well translated into other areas rather fantastically.” At that Brad just leaned more of his weight into Adam, a soft moan escaping his mouth.
The two of them danced a few songs through and before long the band took a break, the live music petering off to something being played through the speakers. Shortly after, the dance floor was cleared as everyone took the chance to get refreshments and sit for a while. Adam and Brad though were wrapped completely in each other’s presence. It was finally Brad who took a step back, realizing that the band had stopped playing.
He looked up at Adam as he pulled him over to the edge of the dance floor, “Adam, oh Adam... How is it that I never really saw you?”
For a moment Adam’s confidence floundered before he could reply. “You just never looked up.”
“Up?” Brad asked, his nose wrinkling in a much too cute way Adam thought.
“Yeah,” Adam motioned with his chin at his tree which they were standing by, “up. I came to every event that your mother threw when I was here. I just spent it in that tree.”
“Really, in the tree?” Brad turned around to look at the tree, his thoughts flashing across his eyes. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, obviously trying to come up with a good response before he finally found one, his face brightening into an impish grin. “Must have been a good view!”
Adam’s laugh once again carried across the floor, “Yes, it was a rather good view. But the view from right here is even better.”
They stood looking into each other’s eyes for a moment before Brad blurted out, “Do you want to take a walk in the gardens with me?” His question seemed to surprise himself as he frowned slightly, as if not sure how the words came out of his mouth.
“A walk in the moonlit gardens, where we’ll stop by the lily pond to dance to La Vie en Rose?” Adam asked, his mind taking him back to all the other walks he had watched Brad go on.
Brad was silent for a moment as he looked up at Adam. “You really were watching,” he said quietly before he grinned. “Let me go tell the band, meet you there?”
Adam just lifted his hand to cradle the side of Brad’s face, Brad’s eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into the caress, before Adam turned and started walking down the path towards the lily pond.
The night really was turning into the fulfillment of nearly every fantasy Adam had had about Brad while they grew up. There was the dancing and flirting and now they were going to go down to the lily pond, dance again and Adam would take his kiss. Finally. A kiss that he felt he had been waiting for since he was a confused teen lusting after a boy who threw himself at everyone but him. The night was mild enough that Adam shucked his jacket, draping it over his arm as he walked. It was getting close to ten o’clock and the older crowd would start drifting home while the younger party goers would stay until one or two am.
By the time Adam had gotten to the lily pond the band had started playing again, and the soft strains of music could be heard weaving about. It wasn’t yet La Vie en Rose, but the song was familiar enough that Adam began to hum as he stood at the edge of the pond, his eyes taking in the details of the closed, pink flowers.
“Your voice must be magnificent now,” said a voice behind Adam, breaking him from his reverie. He turned around to see Kris standing just at the edge of the clearing that made up the pond’s section of the gardens.
“I get by,” Adam said as he looked at Kris. Kris was in a standard three piece black tux, the waistcoat making his torso look long and lean while emphasizing the flair of his hips. “Where’s Brad?”
Kris let out a soft laugh as he came closer to Adam, “Brad had an unfortunate meeting between his ass and a pair of wine glasses.”
Adam winced at the thought, “Someone left them on a chair didn’t they?” The barely held in smirk was his undoing and Adam burst into laughter, followed by Kris. Their laughter petered out just as the strains of Edith Piaf’s song filtered out to them.
Brown eyes met blue and Kris grinned, “Brad made me promise to dance with you when I found you since he is currently getting the glass taken out and stitches put in.”
For a moment Adam hesitated before he gave a gallic shrug and put his jacket down across the back of the bench beside the pond. Kris pulled off his own jacket and put it next to Adam’s before Adam pulled Kris into his arms. They danced silently for a while, slightly awkward before Adam felt Kris release a sigh against his neck and just lean into Adam’s body. This was his first time holding Kris, and Adam couldn’t help but notice how well they fit.
Kris began to hum along to the song before Adam’s mouth opened.
“They want me to stay away from Brad, don’t they?”
It was barely there, but Adam felt Kris stiffen in his arms before he replied, “They want the merger to happen.”
“Going to bribe me?” Adam asked.
“Would it work?” Kris countered.
“Nope,” Adam husked against Kris’ ear, causing him to shudder softly.
Kris was silent for a while, the music still guiding their feet. “Have lunch with me in the city tomorrow.”
Adam pulled back just enough to look down at Kris’ face. Gently he tipped it up and left a lingering kiss on Kris’ lips. When he pulled back, Kris’ eyes were closed and his lips were parted as if waiting for another kiss. “Yes.” Adam stepped away from Kris’ tempting mouth and the conflicting thoughts that he brought forth to grab his coat and walk back to his room.
He wasn’t sure why he had kissed Kris when he had planned to be kissing Brad that night, but at the same time... Adam definitely did not regret it.
The drive into the city on a Sunday was really easy for Adam, but his mind was spinning over Kris asking him to have lunch with him. He was excited for the chance to talk with Kris again and to finally tell him how thankful he was for him being there. But Adam also really wanted to apologize to him for never calling while he was gone. It was a kinda douche move, but by the time Adam really realized that, it seemed too late to call.
The Allen-Bell building was centrally located in downtown Dallas and housed nearly every facet of Allen Enterprises, the only one not in the building was the cattle ranch farther south, but it even had a small office on the fifth floor where some of the finance happened. When Sandra and Neil had gotten married they merged their companies though it mostly all fell under the auspices of Allen Enterprises. It had made them both even wealthier, but they really never were ones to truly flaunt it in other’s faces.
When Adam arrived on the top floor offices, where Kris’ office apparently was, he felt a little intimidated by everything. There was a beautiful blonde sitting at a desk by the door and she smiled when Adam approached her desk. “Can I help you?” the nameplate on her desk said “Katy O’Connell.”
“Hi Katy, I’m Adam Lambert. I’m here to have lunch with Kris?” Adam smiled at her, confused and impressed by Kris having his own secretary/assistant type person that worked on Sundays with him.
She smiled while picking up the phone, “One moment.” She pressed a button on the phone and spoke into the handset, “Mr. Allen? A Mr. Adam Lambert is here for you.” There was a pause and Adam could just barely make out the sound of Kris’ voice on the other end before Katy just smiled and hung up the phone, “You can go right in!”
Adam had to chuckle as he walked past her to the double doors. Pushing one open he stepped in and had to stop and just look. There was nearly a three-sixty view of the city and the room was open and airy, with a balcony door open, a soft breeze drifted in. Kris had his back to Adam, standing behind his desk, frowning at the phone in his hand.
“Seems like you have your hands full with your secretary,” Adam laughed as Kris jumped in surprise, turning to face him.
“Shit!” He held his hand to his chest before putting the phone down in the cradle. “Fuck Adam, you scared me! And yeah, I’ve known Katy since we were back in Arkansas and she knows just how to push my buttons.”
“It’s because you make it so easy Kris!” she laughed, closing the door behind Adam as he moved farther into the room.
Adam looked around the large airy office. There was an informal sitting area with a couch and two armchairs around a low coffee table. Next to that was a wet bar that seemed to be fairly well stocked from Adam’s quick glance. Then there was the desk, a huge mahogany thing with a high backed chair behind it and two chairs in front. If Adam had ever thought to picture Kris Allen’s personal office it would have never looked like the office he found himself standing in. The pictures on the wall looked like something that could be found in a hotel, pleasant but impersonal. The only personal touch that Adam could find was a framed picture on Kris’ desk.
He walked up to the desk and picked up the photograph as Kris came around from behind it. It was of Kris, Daniel, Neil, Sandra, and Brad. And just in the corner he saw his brother photobombing the picture with a goofy face. “My brother, the jokester,” Adam said as he put the picture back on the desk.
Kris grinned up at him, “Yeah, that’s why I love that picture. The whole thing was staged and the photographer was this ass who kept going on and on about lighting and vision. It wasn’t until we started going through all the film that I even knew that Neil was around. He bombed just about half the pictures, that one is my favorite.” He put his hand on Adam’s shoulder and motioned to the sitting area, “Come on, let’s sit for a bit before we go to lunch, we have a few minutes before we need to leave for the reservation.”
“Ooh,” Adam grinned as he moved to sit on the couch, “You taking me out someplace fancy?”
“Kinda?” Kris mused as he sat on the other end of the couch from Adam. “It’s this Ethiopian place that I found a bit ago. There usually isn’t a problem getting a table, but I just wanted to be sure that we could.”
Adam leaned back into the armrest in a casual sprawl. He took a moment to look over Kris and how he looked compared to last night. He was dressed in a blue button down that was open at the neck and charcoal slacks, black belt with black shoes. Kris Allen looked like a twenty something businessman, a something that Adam never expected. The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes just taking each other in.
“You colored your hair,” Kris said, breaking the silence.
“You became your father,” Adam responded, confusion in his tone. “I mean, your dad is great, but seriously Kris, I would have never expected this of you. Even when Neil told me that you had started picking up the reigns I could barely believe it. But here you are, working on a Sunday just like your father always has.”
A small frown crossed Kris’ face. “Dude, you barely got to know me that summer, and that was eight years ago. People change.”
“Yes, people do change,” Adam agreed while sitting forward and turning to face Kris head on. He swept his hand up and down in front of himself, “I know I definitely did on the outside and little on the inside, but I’m still inherently me. And maybe I was too caught up to really get to know you that summer, but Kris; you are my brother’s best friend. I know more about you than you probably would want! I know that you play the guitar and sing, that you used to play at bars and open mic nights during school. I know that you recorded an EP, which I made Neil give to me -- no you can’t have it back, I love it. I know that you want to make music, not sit behind a desk pushing paper.”
“Adam,” Kris’s voice cracked as he turned his head down to his lap. He coughed and cleared his throat, “Adam, not everyone can just run away to LA and do what they want. Daniel isn’t going to step up, and you and I both know Brad definitely won’t. Someone needs to make the sacrifice for the family. Hell,” he gave a harsh laugh, “I’m getting an MBA right now.
“And I’m going to kill Neil for giving you a copy of my EP. That thing is shit. It was made with Garage Band in like a month.”
“Yeah, and that piece of shit, as you say, got you some nibbles from fucking Nashville!” Adam practically yelled. “Do you realize how hard it is to have that happen anymore? You didn’t shop around or anything. You just made it for fun and someone took notice. I had to practically beg, borrow, and steal to get any execs to come and listen to me, let alone my demo. Sure, I have a contract now, but I had to work to get it. You practically had one fall in your lap and you just said, ‘No thanks, too busy being a martyr for my family.’”
Kris looked up from his lap at Adam, his eyes wide and lips parted in surprise. Adam had to hold back the urge to lean forward and capture that full bottom lip between his teeth. Now was not the time to give into these new urges and desires. Finally, Kris broke from his stupor to grin at Adam, a happy and incredulous smile at that, “You have a recording contract?”
Adam blinked rapidly for a moment before he replied, “Yeah?”
“Oh my god!” Kris exclaimed, his face breaking into a huge grin as he launched himself at Adam to hug him. “That is amazing! Congrats man!”
On instinct Adam’s arms went around Kris. He couldn’t help but grin at the thought of his new contract as well. “Thanks,” he said, pulling Kris closer to him, tightening the hug.
When Kris pulled back, his grin was manic as he looked at the clock against the far wall. “Well, we’re late, but I think we can still get a table, if you want? We need to celebrate! Does anyone else know yet?” Kris asked as he stood and pulled Adam up with him.
“No, not yet. I figured I would tell Dad and Neil during dinner tonight.” He slid a hand around Kris to rest at the small of his back, “Come on, let’s go eat and then I want to go see how Brad is doing. He was still sleeping when I left the house this morning.”
Adam used the hand on Kris’ back to guide him towards the door so he was just behind him and didn’t see the momentary frown cross his face as Brad was mentioned. When he was beside Kris again his features were smoothed into a happy smile once again. “Sounds like a plan.”
They had just settled into their seats at the restaurant, the car ride over spent talking about how much Dallas had changed in the time that Adam was gone, when he took a deep breath and looked Kris in the eye. “I’m sorry for never calling you.”
Kris’ eyes, which had been studying the menu, froze in spot as he took a sudden sharp breath. He took steadying breath before he replied, eyes still not moving, “Why?”
“Why didn’t I call or why did I try to kill myself?” Adam asked while setting his menu aside.
The table was quiet for a moment before Kris replied, “Both?” He took another steadying breath before he put his own menu down and looked up at Adam, “Both.”
It was Adam that time that had to take a breath to center himself. “I was a bit self-centered at that point. My self-worth was too tied up in what others thought of me and I couldn’t see past that moment. And by the time I realized that, it had been nearly three years.”
Their waitress came up then, an awkward smile on her face, “You ready or do you two need some more time?”
They glanced at each other before Kris gave Adam a soft smile, “Want me to order for us?”
Adam grinned and waved his hand, “Go for it.”
Kris looked up at the waitress, “We’ll have the Doro Wot and the Gomen please. Oh, and water for us both.” The waitress nodded, writing the order down and taking their menus, which Adam handed to her, before giving a grin and leaving them alone again.
“So, what did you get us?” Adam asked, fiddling with the napkin in his lap.
“Pretty much chicken and collard greens. You’ll like it, I promise.” Kris sighed and looked at Adam, his face open and engaged. “It wouldn’t have mattered if you had called me after three or five years. I just would have liked a call. I would have liked to know that you were doing okay. And not just from Neil or your father, but from you, in your own words.”
Adam leaned forward and put his hand over Kris’, his heart pounding as he looked into the brown eyes across from him. So oddly similar to Brad’s, but at the same time, so vastly different. Brad’s features were almost fox like in their angularity while Kris’... Kris’ eyes were suddenly starting to draw him in. “I’m sorry for not calling,” he said.
The hand under his turned over to grasp at it, “I’m glad you came home.”
For the rest of lunch they kept to easy topics of what they had been doing in the last eight years. Sure, they both had the basics from Neil, but Adam loved hearing from Kris directly about the time he and Neil got drunk and sang horrible karaoke with the both of them waking up in the morning, unsure of why they were wearing each other’s pants and who Loraine was. Apparently the mystery of Loraine was never solved, and to that day, Kris refused to drink Purple Nurples, “They are just bad news man, bad news.”
Soon enough, all that was left were scraps of injera and just smears of sauce on their plates. Adam couldn’t help but smile at Kris as he insisted on paying. “You being here is a celebration, we should observe that celebration with me paying for our lunch. Cause when you become a famous rock star I can say that I bought you lunch before you were famous!”
He couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Hey, just think, I can say that the future head of Allen Enterprises bought me lunch!” Kris laughed right along with Adam, but he could tell that his heart wasn’t in it. It was starting to get painfully obvious to Adam that Kris really wasn’t happy where he was, but he had no idea how to help.
“Come on,” Kris stood, tossing his napkin onto the table. “Let’s get you home so that you can see my idiot infirm step-brother.”
Adam stood and followed Kris out the door, his thoughts on Kris’ apparent unhappiness shoved to the back burner with the mention of Brad.
“Adam!” Brad cried out when Adam and Kris came into Brad’s room. He was lying in bed on his stomach, blankets tucked in around him. For a moment he tried to sit up, but winced and flopped right back down, groaning into the pillows. “My ass hurts and not in the fun way...”
Adam shot an amused grin at Kris before he knelt down next to the bed and began to run his fingers through Brad’s mussed hair. Brad grinned and nuzzled his head into the pillow in obvious pleasure. “He’s really doped up, isn’t he?” Adam asked Kris who had sat down on the edge of the bed.
Kris nodded, “Yeah, I think he snuck a second pill or something. Vicodin is a favorite of his.”
Adam just nodded and continued to play with Brad’s hair. When Brad cracked an eye open and looked up at him, he grinned down, “You want me to stay and help take care of you?”
“No!” both Brad and Kris shouted, surprising Adam.
“You would be so bored Adam!” Brad cried out, again trying to sit up before he huffed and stayed prone. He turned to Kris, eyes big and pleading, “Kris! Kris, brother of mine! You have to keep Adam company!”
“Brad,” Kris started before he was cut off by Brad.
“You have to stick to him like glue so he doesn’t forget about me and run away with someone pretty,” Brad said trying for sotto voce and missing by a mile.
Kris just rolled his eyes before he nodded at Brad, “Sure Brad.” Adam laughed almost missing Kris’ continued reply, “As if he ever could.”
The room was quiet as Brad began to snuggle back down into the bed and Adam tried to understand why he felt so sad at Kris’ comment. Once Brad was settled he looked at Adam and Kris still next to and on the bed respectively. He looked between the two of them and gave a dopey grin, “Okay you two, off! I need more beauty rest if I am to be at fighting shape for Adam to tame the flowers at the treehouse.”
It was an obvious struggle for Kris to keep in his laughter as he stood up, Adam following. “Okay Brad, you get that rest,” Kris said, rubbing his hand down Brad’s back fondly. By then Brad was already asleep and Kris guided Adam out of the room, a hand at the small of his back, before closing the door.
“Listen,” Kris turned to look down the hallway away from Adam, “I’m going to be busy tomorrow and Tuesday. Most everyone is going to be off from the 23rd until after the New Year, so I want to make sure everything is okay for while people are gone. But how about we go out on Wednesday? I know Neil and Daniel will be around, we can all go out and have some fun together before we have to get back into the monkey suits for the Solstice Gala.”
Adam opened and closed his mouth for a moment before he frowned, “Solstice? I always thought it was the Annual Christmas Ball?”
Kris looked back at Adam, a grin breaking out, “Yeah, Mom is trying to be more PC these days. All inclusive and everything. So, Wednesday?”
“I’ll make sure Neil wears appropriate dancing shoes.”
“Danielle, I think I’m fucked,” Adam fell across his bed, staring up at the old poster of Queen on his ceiling.
He heard a huff of laughter over the phone before Danielle spoke, “And this is different from every other time, how?”
“I think Kris took me on a date yesterday.”
“What?” came from two voices.
Adam frowned, “Did you put me on speaker with Tommy?”
“Of course she did! And don’t think that after you got off the phone with Danielle that you wouldn’t be calling me right away!” Tommy said with humor in his voice.
“What are you... Are you at our apartment?” Adam asked, sitting up now.
There was a pause before he heard Tommy give a gusty sigh, “It’s lonely without you here man. Danielle has been staying since you left. But, who cares about that, tell us about your maybe date with the boy who isn’t Brad!”
Sometimes Adam wondered if Tommy hadn’t been a Jewish Grandmother in his past life with how much he loved to gossip about relationships and other people’s lives. “Well, it was nice?”
“Nice?” Danielle asked. “Why do I hear a question mark at the end of that sentence? It either wasn’t or it was.”
He could hear the rustling of fabric as the two moved around on what was probably Adam’s bed. Adam could picture the two of them snuggled together, the phone between them as they reclined against the wall, pillows behind their backs for support, and he was hit with a wave of longing so deep he could barely swallow past it. It had only been a few days, but since moving away, the two of them had been Adam’s lifeline. He only wished that they could be here with him, sharing the gossip in person over a movie and cheap wine.
“It was nice,” Adam responded. “Just really unexpected.”
Tommy scoffed, “Dude, I doubt it is really all that unexpected. Anyway, what makes you move it from ‘friendly lunch,’” Adam could hear the air quotes in that, “to date territory?”
“Well,” Adam laid back down and turned his head, looking out the window, “I may have kissed him right after he asked the night I got back.”
Adam could hear the wind outside his window in the resulting silence. The sun was setting, creating a beautiful array of colors that reminded Adam of all the summers he used to spend there. It was just that morning that he and Neil had spent the day together, hitting all their old haunts and catching up in person. Neil had shown off his office at the magazine he worked for before they settled at a favorite café of theirs for lunch.
“So, you going to visit more often now?” Neil asked as he took a big bite out of the turkey panini he had ordered.
Adam picked at the salad on his plate, “I don’t know. I mean, I had forgotten how beautiful it is here. LA might have all this color to it, but it is artificial, all chemical.”
“At least when you are in LA you are closer to Mom, even if San Diego is a few hours away. I barely get the time to see her since I moved to Texas full time. Don’t get me wrong, I love being so close to Dad, but I miss Mom too.” Neil pushed his plate away, his face thoughtful, “Do you ever miss when we were all together?”
“You mean before Mom and Dad split?” Adam asked. Neil nodded and he sighed, “Of course I do. But I also wouldn’t wish unhappiness on them because of us wanting them to be together while they didn’t. It is fucking amazing how well they get on now, but I know it took time for them to start being friends again.”
Adam took a bite from his salad, “That’s what I want in the end. I want the romance and the love and the passion, but mainly I want the friendship and companionship that comes from that.”
Neil’s face twisted up in a grimace, “And you honestly think you could get that with Brad, who is engaged, to be married, to another man, in like, a month?”
“Maybe,” he put his fork down, “I’ve been in love with him since I saw him. I have to at least see what happens.” Neil just shook his head and pulled his plate close again, dismissing the topic.
“You kissed Kris?” Danielle’s voice broke Adam from his memory. He could hear fabric moving and knew that Tommy was flailing.
“I mean,” Adam paused and sighed, “it was just a peck really.”
“Adam!” both Danielle and Tommy’s voices rang out.
Adam huffed into the phone, “We were dancing to that Edith Piaf song, La Vie en Rose. You know, the one that goes Des yeux qui font baisser les miens/Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche.” Adam could hear Danielle sigh after he finished singing the two lines.
“That’s so romantic!” she murmured.
“It was,” Adam sighed, “But that is what got me into this mess.”
“Would it be so bad if you actually did date Kris?” Tommy asked.
The line was silent for a moment before Adam frowned when he saw what time it was, “Hey, I have to go. I’ll talk to you guys later. Try to not have sex on my bed!” He hung up cutting off their protests.
Master Post| Part One|Part Two| Part Three
Fandom: American Idol S8
Pairing: Kris Allen/Adam Lambert
Genre: Romance Movie AU
Word Count: 22,918
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Strong Sexual Content
Master Post| Part One|Part Two| Part Three
Winter, 2005, Los Angeles, California
“A veritable bunch of theatre fags and hags!” Scarlett shouted out one night before announcing that she and Lee were driving to Vegas to get hitched because she wasn’t “going to be one of those fucking bridezilla bitches, no stress, no mess!”
After all the congratulations were given out the logistics of the trip began to get planned out. A caravan of cars drove the four hours to Las Vegas where Adam served as maid of honor, and caught the bouquet. He laughed as he held the fake flowers in his hands, but at the same time Sauli’s words from while he was on tour flashed across his mind again.
Back in LA Adam moved in with Tommy, the two of them meshing as roommates in a way that neither of them really expected, and picked up a position in the chorus and as an understudy in the LA production of Wicked. He enjoyed the show and loved the people, but more and more Adam was realizing that theatre wasn’t what he wanted. What he really loved was singing at the Cabaret; more and more he began to realize that all he wanted to do was be out in front, singing his own stuff, people wanting to hear him and him alone.
He got introduced to a guy named Monte who was a fucking amazing guitarist and seemed to know how to shop around demos and get people to listen. The two of them worked amazingly well together, even writing some songs that got used in the demos that were sent to different studios. But it ended up crumbling down around Adam as he realized that Monte was selling the songs and not cutting Adam in and when he had promised to give his demos to a friend of his they were empty promises. By this point, Adam had given up his job with Wicked, banking on something pulling through but now he had nothing.
Summer, 2009, Black Rock City, Nevada
It was Scarlett, with the help of Alisan, who planned a trip that would at least give Adam a change in scenery and the rest of them a chance to relax and rejuvenate. This time it was out to Burning Man to spend ten days out in the desert. The drive out to the playa was long and Adam spent a good portion of it in quiet contemplation of what had been happening for the past few months and years. He knew he needed to make a change, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it, every bad thing that had been happening was crowding around in his brain making it hard to come up with any new ideas.
“Home sweet tent!” Alisan crowed when she tumbled out of the van they had all driven out in.
Terrance laughed as he climbed out behind her, “Girl, you can rhapsodize about the tent as much as you want after we actually put the damned thing up!”
She flapped her hands at him in a dismissing manner before she wrapped her arms around Adam, “You are going to love it honey! Let’s get the tents up, get changed, and start exploring!”
Adam couldn’t help but laugh at the enthusiasm as he wrapped his own arms around her, “I’m sure!”
Their campsite was a mess of mismatched tents and lean-tos, but they fit in with all the other campsites. There was good natured bickering that went back and forth between Sutan and Danielle as they built one tent, Tommy chiming in every once in a while. Terrance and Alisan were busy with their own tent, leaving Adam to unload the van of their bottles of water, food, and sunscreen.
Scarlett, though she helped to plan the trip, thought better of going since she was pregnant and so close to her due date. “Adam,” she had said just before they left, “You better be back before this kid pops out of me, cause you are going to be his god-father.” Incredibly touched, all Adam could do was hug her tightly before promising to make it back before the birth. In solidarity with his wife, Lee stayed behind as well, wishing them a good time.
By the time all the tents up were up, everyone had started sweating and feeling the dust begin to gather on their skin. Danielle and Alisan pulled Adam into a tent to help cover him in sunscreen and change clothes. While Adam still had lingering body image issues, he couldn’t help but feel the energy of the camp and how non-judgmental it all was. Soon, he found himself in cut off shorts, boots, goggles, and a headband as his only clothing.
The rest of the day was spent riding bikes around the playa and talking with others who were veterans and newbies of Burning Man. Bottles of water were never far from hand and every person they talked to made sure they were staying hydrated. Slowly, Adam could feel his brain start to calm down and just be present. The days faded together into a haze of drugs, dancing, music, new and old friends, and being one with the world.
“Danielle,” Adam poked his friend one evening close to the end of their stay. “Danielle, I’m gunna go for a walk and maybe stay out and sleep at the temple.”
Danielle gave him a sleepy thumbs up before she face planted back into her sleeping bag, “I’ll tell Tommy when he comes in later.”
“Thanks,” he said before patting her on the head and slipping out of the tent.
Three fresh water bottles tucked into the basket of his bike along with a blanket, Adam peddled out and around the playa. He didn’t go far, but enough away that the sounds of the camps were muted and light wasn’t so bright. The blanket got pulled out from the basket and spread out so that Adam could lay back and look up at the sky. He could still feel the drugs working their way through his system, but Adam felt startlingly sober as he watched the stars above him. A shooting star swept across the sky, the bright tail burning the sky for long seconds before it faded away.
In that moment, Adam had this moment of clarity. “If anything is ever going to happen, I have to be the one to take those steps. No more middle men, just me.” Another burning star blazed across the sky, and he took it as affirmation from the universe that that was the right track for him to take.
“Ugh, I feel like I could sleep until next year!” Danielle moaned as she collapsed onto Tommy and Adam’s couch. “I mean, the whole week and a half was amazing and so much fun, but damn, my liver needs a break and I still think I’m sweating out the last of the ‘shrooms that Terrance brought. Who knew boy had such amazing connections?”
Adam laughed as he dumped his bags onto the floor in the entryway; Tommy head-butted against him since he was blocking the other man from moving farther into the room. The blonde’s own bags fell from his hands as he wrapped his arms around Adam in a hug and ground his forehead into Adam’s shoulder. “I think someone is a sleepy kitty!” Adam patted at the arms wrapped around him.
“Fuck off,” came muffled from behind him. Adam began a shuffling dance forward with Tommy still holding tight to him. When they finally made it into the living room where Danielle seemed to have set up camp and was in serious thought of marrying the couch she was laying on. Executing a spinning slash pushing maneuver, Adam was able to untangle himself from Tommy and send him sprawling on top of Danielle.
“The fuck?” Danielle yelled as Tommy landed on her. He just sighed and seemed to melt on top of his friend, no intent of moving anywhere in sight. She frowned at Adam before her hand came up, seemingly without her own volition, and began petting and playing with Tommy’s hair.
“I’m going to make some tea, either of you want?” Adam asked as he moved into the kitchen. Two affirmative grunts reached his ears as he began to pull out the mugs and tea bags before setting the kettle on the stove.
There wasn’t much noise other than the soft sounds of him moving around the kitchen and the occasional sound of Danielle hitting a good spot on Tommy’s scalp and making him murmur happily. They all were such close friends, their entire group, but it seemed like Adam, Tommy, and Danielle were the most bonded out of them all. Adam and Danielle due to the years of back history and Tommy, because he just fit with them, and not in any way that any of them could explain. The silence in the apartment wasn’t heavy in any way; it was actually really nice after spending ten days in such an outrageous and different atmosphere.
Adam was leaning on the kitchen counter playing with one of the mugs when Danielle called to him. “Yeah?” he asked, moving back into the living room.
She looked at him for a moment, “Think you are going to try at Jive again?”
There was only one demo tape that Adam had personally shopped around to the studios. It was of only him singing, not the band that he and Monte had created and tried to get off the ground. Most of the studios never even bothered to return Adam’s calls, their silence a loud enough answer for Adam to understand, but he did end up getting one call from Jive just before he had left for Burning Man with them actually calling to say that they weren’t interested in him as an artist. The woman on the phone though didn’t leave it at that.
“Adam, you are good. You’re actually fucking amazing, but I work for people who can’t see past the end of their own noses half the time and they see something in you that isn’t quote unquote controllable. That said, I know some people who are pretty open minded and actually willing to take chances on something new that are going to be at an open mic at Michaelmas, that bar on 18th Street, in three weeks. If you really think you’ve got it, be at that open mic and be nothing but yourself.”
The whistle of the kettle kept him from answering Danielle. He walked back into the kitchen, his mind spinning, and poured their teas. He came back out, a mug in each hand that he placed on the coffee table for Danielle and Tommy, who managed to heave himself off of Danielle and into an upright position. Another quick trip into the kitchen and he returned, his own tea in hand to sit in the papasan chair next to the couch.
“You know that night I kinda wandered off and I didn’t come back to camp until the next morning?” Adam asked while looking into his mug of tea.
Tommy grunted, “Yeah you fucker, scared me and Alisan half to death since you only told Sleepy here,” he poked Danielle in the side with his elbow, “where you were going and she was asleep the entire time we were looking for you!”
He and Danielle, her more due to Tommy’s sharp as hell elbows, winced at the reminder. “Yeah, well, I kinda had a vision?”
“What had you taken?”
Adam shrugged, “I was coming off of the ‘shrooms and maybe had just shot gunned with one of the boys in the camp next to us, but either way, I wasn’t like, totally wasted. I had just enough to let my mind really relax and wander.” He sighed and sipped his tea, “I’ve been so stressed and upset over the shit storm with Monte and it is getting closer and closer to the holidays and Neil made me promise to go out to Dallas to spend time with Dad and him this year. And all I’ve been doing is worrying about going back to Dallas and this fucking open mic night and it was just all swirling around in my head the entire time we were there.
“But then, that night, it was like I had finally hit the right balance of everything. I just went out and laid down looking up at the sky. The stars were dancing and then suddenly they stilled with one just burning across the sky and it came to me --- I won’t be able to be who I want to be until I actually put myself out there and do the work myself, no more getting someone else to hand things over. I have to go out there and grip life and opportunity by the balls!”
Danielle gave a whoop of joy, almost spilling her tea on Tommy who dodged out of the way of her flailing arms. “Preach! And you know that all of us are going to be there on Tuesday cheering you on!”
He laughed at her shouts, her tiredness having swung to the buzzy side of things. Adam looked over at Tommy who just nodded in agreement, his own eyes drooping in exhaustion. These are my best friends, Adam thought as he watched them suddenly start pushing and tugging at each other like puppies. These are the people who make me better and worth seeing.
Winter, 2009, Dallas, Texas
“Fucker, where are you?” Adam laughed into his phone while pulling his bags behind him out to the Arrivals pick up at the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport.
Neil sighed gustily, “Fucking meetings! Who knew that meetings for an online magazine would be so fucking annoying and tedious? I just left the office and won’t get to the airport for another hour or so.”
“Dude, I’ll just get a taxi. It isn’t like I don’t know how to get to the house. Remember, I’m the one that Dad taught to drive by letting me the Benz back from the airport.”
“Come on! I promised Dad that I wouldn’t just leave you alone on your first trip back after eight fucking years!”
“Suck it up! I’ll see you at the house,” Adam then ended the call in the middle of Neil’s sputtering. Admittedly, he had been looking forward to getting all the gossip from Neil on the way there, but he could chat the taxi driver up and get some of the good gossip from him once he dropped who is dad was. Drivers, no matter what the car, stuck together and actually knew what was going on in a particular city. Just as he was about to hail a passing cab when a familiar red convertible Corvette came close. Adam just grinned as he watched Brad Bell drive past him, their eyes catching before the car came to a quick stop just past Adam.
Brad smiled at Adam, “You need a ride somewhere?” There was no recognition in his eyes and Adam’s first thought was, ‘Oh, this is going to be fun!’
“Sure Brad, I think you are heading in the same direction I’ll be going,” he smirked at the surprised look on Brad’s face and tossed his bags into the back seat of the car before sliding into the passenger seat.
Brad silently started driving, every once in a while looking over at Adam in puzzlement. “Do we know each other?”
“We certainly do,” Adam grinned while shooting a quick text to Danielle to say he was on his way to the house.
Brad frowned, “Our parents know each other, right?”
“Yup,” and when Adam offered nothing else the car fell silent for a few minutes.
“What does your father do? It is through your father, right?”
Adam paused for a moment before he laughed softly, “He’s in the business of cars.”
“You can’t be a Ford, can you?”
That brought a full laugh from Adam, “Well no, but my father does work with Ford, and Chrysler, and Royce, and BMW.”
Brad was stunned into silence as he continued to drive along, his eyes cutting back to Adam every once in a while. “You seem so familiar! Come on,” he turned puppy-dog eyes on Adam, lower lip out in an obvious pout, “can’t you give me a hint? Just a small one?”
“Nope,” Adam grinned, “I’m having way too much fun to tell you now!”
They chatted back and forth for the rest of the drive, Brad peppering Adam with questions and him responding back with beguiling answers. As they got closer and closer to the house Adam began directing Brad on the turns to make, the other man taking the directions on auto-pilot. It wasn’t until they drove through the gates to the Bell’s mansion that Brad began to realize where they were. “But, this is where I live!”
“Hi neighbor!” Adam grinned at Brad, movement to the side of the car catching his eye. He turned away from Brad’s surprised eyes to see Kris standing against the side of the garage. Kris hadn’t gained much height from when Adam had last seen him, but there was muscle and strength in him that hadn’t been there eight years ago. When their eyes met, Kris’ brightened just a bit as he smiled at Adam, pushing away from the wall and heading for his own car, parked right next to Brad’s.
“Welcome home Adam,” Kris murmured, a soft blush turning his cheeks pink.
“Thank you, Kris,” Adam replied back, thinking that it wasn’t just for the welcome home, but for Kris being there for him so long ago. “We’ll have to catch up later.”
The blush turned a brighter pink and Kris ducked his head, smiling, “I’d like that. I’ll be back from the city---”
“Adam?” Brad shouted interrupting Kris and drawing Adam’s gaze back to him.
“Adam!” was shouted out again, this time from the garage as Eber and Neil rushed from inside, huge grins on their faces.
Adam barely realized he was moving before he leapt out from the car and over to his father and brother, hugging them both. The three Lambert men began talking over one another in greetings and mock insults as others from the house began to come outside to see Adam as well. Even Sandra, Daniel, and Neil were on hand to welcome him back home.
Sandra beamed up at Adam, “Oh Adam, you must come to the party this evening! It is my annual pre-Christmas party and it will be the perfect chance for you to see everyone again!”
From the corner of his eyes Adam saw Neil roll his eyes, obviously sure his brother would once again refuse to join in on the festivities as he once always did. “Sandra, I’d be delighted to join you all. I even have a new suit that will be perfect for the occasion.” He paused and looked around, just realizing that Kris was gone.
The entire eight years that Adam had spent in LA, Kris was never really too far from his mind. Even if Brad surrounded his thoughts so often, Kris was a close second, just because of his unfailing support that he had given Adam that last night. The note that he had written him had been tucked into Adam’s wallet just before he left Dallas and it had never left. When he had ended up getting a new wallet, the first things that were transferred over was that note and the photo of Kris and Brad. The note was creased and had started to rip in places, but it was one of his most treasured items, and he never was really sure why it had affected him so much.
Despite how much the note meant though, Adam had never called Kris. He was just too embarrassed by what had happened to actually talk to him afterwards. Neil had kept Adam up to date on all the Allen-Bell’s, Kris included, and he could tell that the two of them were close friends. And for all that Adam had been ridiculously self-absorbed and naive back then; even he saw how much Kris blossomed with Neil’s friendship.
“Adam, that is fantastic!” Brad cooed from his shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. Adam smiled down at the object of his desire for all these years, feeling dark warmth spread through him with all of Brad’s attention on him. “You simply must save me a dance, or two, this evening!”
“Of course,” he murmured, dropping into his lower register and smirking seeing Brad give a soft shiver at the sound. He turned back to Sandra and Neil who both had a strange expression on their faces before they schooled them back into smiles. Adam shook off their looks, he probably imagined the concern on their faces, and smiled back at them. “I’ll go ahead and get settled in and shake out any wrinkles before this evening.”
“Lovely darling,” Sandra murmured, her enthusiasm slightly dimmed as she wrapped her arm around Brad’s, drawing him away. “Come, let us give Adam some time to settle in,” she said, her arm tight around Brad causing him to stumble after her.
“Mom!” was all Adam heard before he was surrounded by his father and Neil again; the two of them grabbing suitcases and herding him up the stairs to his old room.
Eber patted Adam on the shoulder before he disappeared off to drive Neil Allen into the city for a quick meeting before the party. Neil hung around helping Adam to unpack. He was frowning down at the suitcase he was unpacking; it was apparently full of shoes. “Dude, did you really pack a suitcase that was only for your shoes?”
“Duh, I wear a lot of boots, those take up room, thus one suitcase just for shoes,” Adam laughed while he pulled out a black, slim cut suit jacket and tuxedo pants. He carefully hung the pants and jacket in the bathroom door so that they could steam some with his shower later. “Brad certainly seemed surprised to see me. But pleasantly so.”
Neil gritted his teeth as he continued to unpack the shoes -- seriously, how many pairs of black boots did one guy need? -- in the suitcase, his eyes rolling at Adam talking about Brad. “He’s engaged!” he finally burst out.
Adam didn’t pause in his unpacking, having moved on to putting his other clothes onto hangers in the closet, “I know. Dad told me after it happened.” He looked at his brother over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised, “Do you really think I’m also that stupid that I didn’t notice his engagement ring? I mean seriously, the thing is fucking huge.”
That made Neil laugh, “Yeah, the thing can be seen from outer space!”
“Sean must be over compensating,” Adam replied drolly, causing Neil to burst into laughter again.
Of course Adam knew Brad was engaged to Sean Hemeon, All-Star player for the Texas Rangers and son of one of Neil Allen’s major business competitors. Brad and Sean getting married had been touted as the merger of the century, bringing Allen Enterprises and Hemeon, Inc. together under one roof. Pictures of the two of them out and about in NYC and even LA had hit the gossip pages, especially after Brad had gotten into a drinking competition with Paris Hilton and somehow the two of them becoming best friends after he insulted her hair and she insulted his shoes. The fact that they were two openly gay men in Texas getting married, or as close to married as they could in Texas, was also sending the media into a frenzy.
Fox News had even had segments on the impending nuptials. Most seemed to think that it was a sign of the impending collapse of the country as they knew it, but there were a few who were actually starting to seem sympathetic. When neither Allen or Hemeon stock had crashed when the news came out and the prices actually began to soar the tune of the media outlets really began to change towards support. It was actually Kris who had gone on a few of the news shows, giving interviews about the company and the family’s support for Brad and Sean.
That had really been the most surprising thing for Adam, seeing Kris step up to the plate in the business. The Kris that Adam remembered from that summer only wanted to play the guitar and sing; to make music, especially his own. And now, seeing him in business suits and carrying a briefcase made him sad. Even the brief glimpse of him this morning was so different from the young man Adam remembered. But then, eight years can really change someone. It certainly had changed him.
Adam took one final glance at himself in the mirror before leaving his room to head to the party. He knew he looked fierce in the beautifully tailored and detailed suit jacket that was untraditional in its use of studs and leather, his white shirt was fine cotton and open to his breastbone, long necklaces draped around his neck. His hair was swept up in a smooth pompadour, the black gleaming in the lights of the room, and the black liner and shadow around his eyes made the blue of them pop out in the otherwise monochromatic outfit. For a moment he hesitated before opening the door to leave, glancing at his reflection once more.
“You are a fierce LA Queen who is going to show Dallas just what they have been missing,” he said to his reflection before giving a short nod and finally stepping outside.
The music was already drifting out to him. A jazz standard was currently being played by the old fashioned big band that was always a staple of Sandra Bell’s events. He could hear the dull murmurs of the crowd just under the bright music. White fairy lights shone in the trees all along the walkways. Adam could see all of the upper echelon of Dallas society circling around the dance floor on the patio and he took a moment to just soak it all in. It was then that he realized he was standing next to his tree, the one that he had spent so many nights sitting in, watching everyone flit around like butterflies.
And now, now you are one of them, he thought before he took that final step up onto the floor and into the lights.
There wasn’t a decrease in the volume of the music, just the volume of those talking as heads turned to take him in. He could feel them all looking at him, and instead of the nerves he would have once felt, Adam felt the power he held in the situation. And it felt good.
A small grin crossed his lips and before he knew it there was a circle of male and female admirers all around him. Women who wanted fashion tips and to take him to bed and men who wondered at his ease around women and also secretly, or not so secretly, wanted to take him to bed as well. He just laughed and waited, knowing that soon Brad would make his way to him.
“Sean!” Brad’s voice cut across the dance floor enough for Adam to figure out where he was. “You really ought to go to the bathroom and soak your jacket before that red wine stains. I know how much you love this coat,” Brad simpered and fluttered around his tall fiancé.
Sean smiled down at Brad before he nodded, “You’re right. You’ll save a dance for me when I get back?”
“Of course, of course!” Brad fluttered his hands at Sean to shoo him away.
Adam watched it all with amusement in his eyes and when Brad turned in his direction he just raised an eyebrow and quirked a grin at Brad. Brad’s own grin grew as he rushed over to Adam and pulled him out of his circle of admirers and onto the dance floor.
“You can lead, right?” Brad asked impishly.
The deep laugh that came out of Adam surprised a few of the dancers around them, “Of course I can lead! You used to force me to dance with you so that you could learn the follow’s part. Plus,” he leaned in close to Brad’s ear to whisper to him, “being able to dance well translated into other areas rather fantastically.” At that Brad just leaned more of his weight into Adam, a soft moan escaping his mouth.
The two of them danced a few songs through and before long the band took a break, the live music petering off to something being played through the speakers. Shortly after, the dance floor was cleared as everyone took the chance to get refreshments and sit for a while. Adam and Brad though were wrapped completely in each other’s presence. It was finally Brad who took a step back, realizing that the band had stopped playing.
He looked up at Adam as he pulled him over to the edge of the dance floor, “Adam, oh Adam... How is it that I never really saw you?”
For a moment Adam’s confidence floundered before he could reply. “You just never looked up.”
“Up?” Brad asked, his nose wrinkling in a much too cute way Adam thought.
“Yeah,” Adam motioned with his chin at his tree which they were standing by, “up. I came to every event that your mother threw when I was here. I just spent it in that tree.”
“Really, in the tree?” Brad turned around to look at the tree, his thoughts flashing across his eyes. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, obviously trying to come up with a good response before he finally found one, his face brightening into an impish grin. “Must have been a good view!”
Adam’s laugh once again carried across the floor, “Yes, it was a rather good view. But the view from right here is even better.”
They stood looking into each other’s eyes for a moment before Brad blurted out, “Do you want to take a walk in the gardens with me?” His question seemed to surprise himself as he frowned slightly, as if not sure how the words came out of his mouth.
“A walk in the moonlit gardens, where we’ll stop by the lily pond to dance to La Vie en Rose?” Adam asked, his mind taking him back to all the other walks he had watched Brad go on.
Brad was silent for a moment as he looked up at Adam. “You really were watching,” he said quietly before he grinned. “Let me go tell the band, meet you there?”
Adam just lifted his hand to cradle the side of Brad’s face, Brad’s eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into the caress, before Adam turned and started walking down the path towards the lily pond.
The night really was turning into the fulfillment of nearly every fantasy Adam had had about Brad while they grew up. There was the dancing and flirting and now they were going to go down to the lily pond, dance again and Adam would take his kiss. Finally. A kiss that he felt he had been waiting for since he was a confused teen lusting after a boy who threw himself at everyone but him. The night was mild enough that Adam shucked his jacket, draping it over his arm as he walked. It was getting close to ten o’clock and the older crowd would start drifting home while the younger party goers would stay until one or two am.
By the time Adam had gotten to the lily pond the band had started playing again, and the soft strains of music could be heard weaving about. It wasn’t yet La Vie en Rose, but the song was familiar enough that Adam began to hum as he stood at the edge of the pond, his eyes taking in the details of the closed, pink flowers.
“Your voice must be magnificent now,” said a voice behind Adam, breaking him from his reverie. He turned around to see Kris standing just at the edge of the clearing that made up the pond’s section of the gardens.
“I get by,” Adam said as he looked at Kris. Kris was in a standard three piece black tux, the waistcoat making his torso look long and lean while emphasizing the flair of his hips. “Where’s Brad?”
Kris let out a soft laugh as he came closer to Adam, “Brad had an unfortunate meeting between his ass and a pair of wine glasses.”
Adam winced at the thought, “Someone left them on a chair didn’t they?” The barely held in smirk was his undoing and Adam burst into laughter, followed by Kris. Their laughter petered out just as the strains of Edith Piaf’s song filtered out to them.
Brown eyes met blue and Kris grinned, “Brad made me promise to dance with you when I found you since he is currently getting the glass taken out and stitches put in.”
For a moment Adam hesitated before he gave a gallic shrug and put his jacket down across the back of the bench beside the pond. Kris pulled off his own jacket and put it next to Adam’s before Adam pulled Kris into his arms. They danced silently for a while, slightly awkward before Adam felt Kris release a sigh against his neck and just lean into Adam’s body. This was his first time holding Kris, and Adam couldn’t help but notice how well they fit.
Kris began to hum along to the song before Adam’s mouth opened.
“They want me to stay away from Brad, don’t they?”
It was barely there, but Adam felt Kris stiffen in his arms before he replied, “They want the merger to happen.”
“Going to bribe me?” Adam asked.
“Would it work?” Kris countered.
“Nope,” Adam husked against Kris’ ear, causing him to shudder softly.
Kris was silent for a while, the music still guiding their feet. “Have lunch with me in the city tomorrow.”
Adam pulled back just enough to look down at Kris’ face. Gently he tipped it up and left a lingering kiss on Kris’ lips. When he pulled back, Kris’ eyes were closed and his lips were parted as if waiting for another kiss. “Yes.” Adam stepped away from Kris’ tempting mouth and the conflicting thoughts that he brought forth to grab his coat and walk back to his room.
He wasn’t sure why he had kissed Kris when he had planned to be kissing Brad that night, but at the same time... Adam definitely did not regret it.
The drive into the city on a Sunday was really easy for Adam, but his mind was spinning over Kris asking him to have lunch with him. He was excited for the chance to talk with Kris again and to finally tell him how thankful he was for him being there. But Adam also really wanted to apologize to him for never calling while he was gone. It was a kinda douche move, but by the time Adam really realized that, it seemed too late to call.
The Allen-Bell building was centrally located in downtown Dallas and housed nearly every facet of Allen Enterprises, the only one not in the building was the cattle ranch farther south, but it even had a small office on the fifth floor where some of the finance happened. When Sandra and Neil had gotten married they merged their companies though it mostly all fell under the auspices of Allen Enterprises. It had made them both even wealthier, but they really never were ones to truly flaunt it in other’s faces.
When Adam arrived on the top floor offices, where Kris’ office apparently was, he felt a little intimidated by everything. There was a beautiful blonde sitting at a desk by the door and she smiled when Adam approached her desk. “Can I help you?” the nameplate on her desk said “Katy O’Connell.”
“Hi Katy, I’m Adam Lambert. I’m here to have lunch with Kris?” Adam smiled at her, confused and impressed by Kris having his own secretary/assistant type person that worked on Sundays with him.
She smiled while picking up the phone, “One moment.” She pressed a button on the phone and spoke into the handset, “Mr. Allen? A Mr. Adam Lambert is here for you.” There was a pause and Adam could just barely make out the sound of Kris’ voice on the other end before Katy just smiled and hung up the phone, “You can go right in!”
Adam had to chuckle as he walked past her to the double doors. Pushing one open he stepped in and had to stop and just look. There was nearly a three-sixty view of the city and the room was open and airy, with a balcony door open, a soft breeze drifted in. Kris had his back to Adam, standing behind his desk, frowning at the phone in his hand.
“Seems like you have your hands full with your secretary,” Adam laughed as Kris jumped in surprise, turning to face him.
“Shit!” He held his hand to his chest before putting the phone down in the cradle. “Fuck Adam, you scared me! And yeah, I’ve known Katy since we were back in Arkansas and she knows just how to push my buttons.”
“It’s because you make it so easy Kris!” she laughed, closing the door behind Adam as he moved farther into the room.
Adam looked around the large airy office. There was an informal sitting area with a couch and two armchairs around a low coffee table. Next to that was a wet bar that seemed to be fairly well stocked from Adam’s quick glance. Then there was the desk, a huge mahogany thing with a high backed chair behind it and two chairs in front. If Adam had ever thought to picture Kris Allen’s personal office it would have never looked like the office he found himself standing in. The pictures on the wall looked like something that could be found in a hotel, pleasant but impersonal. The only personal touch that Adam could find was a framed picture on Kris’ desk.
He walked up to the desk and picked up the photograph as Kris came around from behind it. It was of Kris, Daniel, Neil, Sandra, and Brad. And just in the corner he saw his brother photobombing the picture with a goofy face. “My brother, the jokester,” Adam said as he put the picture back on the desk.
Kris grinned up at him, “Yeah, that’s why I love that picture. The whole thing was staged and the photographer was this ass who kept going on and on about lighting and vision. It wasn’t until we started going through all the film that I even knew that Neil was around. He bombed just about half the pictures, that one is my favorite.” He put his hand on Adam’s shoulder and motioned to the sitting area, “Come on, let’s sit for a bit before we go to lunch, we have a few minutes before we need to leave for the reservation.”
“Ooh,” Adam grinned as he moved to sit on the couch, “You taking me out someplace fancy?”
“Kinda?” Kris mused as he sat on the other end of the couch from Adam. “It’s this Ethiopian place that I found a bit ago. There usually isn’t a problem getting a table, but I just wanted to be sure that we could.”
Adam leaned back into the armrest in a casual sprawl. He took a moment to look over Kris and how he looked compared to last night. He was dressed in a blue button down that was open at the neck and charcoal slacks, black belt with black shoes. Kris Allen looked like a twenty something businessman, a something that Adam never expected. The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes just taking each other in.
“You colored your hair,” Kris said, breaking the silence.
“You became your father,” Adam responded, confusion in his tone. “I mean, your dad is great, but seriously Kris, I would have never expected this of you. Even when Neil told me that you had started picking up the reigns I could barely believe it. But here you are, working on a Sunday just like your father always has.”
A small frown crossed Kris’ face. “Dude, you barely got to know me that summer, and that was eight years ago. People change.”
“Yes, people do change,” Adam agreed while sitting forward and turning to face Kris head on. He swept his hand up and down in front of himself, “I know I definitely did on the outside and little on the inside, but I’m still inherently me. And maybe I was too caught up to really get to know you that summer, but Kris; you are my brother’s best friend. I know more about you than you probably would want! I know that you play the guitar and sing, that you used to play at bars and open mic nights during school. I know that you recorded an EP, which I made Neil give to me -- no you can’t have it back, I love it. I know that you want to make music, not sit behind a desk pushing paper.”
“Adam,” Kris’s voice cracked as he turned his head down to his lap. He coughed and cleared his throat, “Adam, not everyone can just run away to LA and do what they want. Daniel isn’t going to step up, and you and I both know Brad definitely won’t. Someone needs to make the sacrifice for the family. Hell,” he gave a harsh laugh, “I’m getting an MBA right now.
“And I’m going to kill Neil for giving you a copy of my EP. That thing is shit. It was made with Garage Band in like a month.”
“Yeah, and that piece of shit, as you say, got you some nibbles from fucking Nashville!” Adam practically yelled. “Do you realize how hard it is to have that happen anymore? You didn’t shop around or anything. You just made it for fun and someone took notice. I had to practically beg, borrow, and steal to get any execs to come and listen to me, let alone my demo. Sure, I have a contract now, but I had to work to get it. You practically had one fall in your lap and you just said, ‘No thanks, too busy being a martyr for my family.’”
Kris looked up from his lap at Adam, his eyes wide and lips parted in surprise. Adam had to hold back the urge to lean forward and capture that full bottom lip between his teeth. Now was not the time to give into these new urges and desires. Finally, Kris broke from his stupor to grin at Adam, a happy and incredulous smile at that, “You have a recording contract?”
Adam blinked rapidly for a moment before he replied, “Yeah?”
“Oh my god!” Kris exclaimed, his face breaking into a huge grin as he launched himself at Adam to hug him. “That is amazing! Congrats man!”
On instinct Adam’s arms went around Kris. He couldn’t help but grin at the thought of his new contract as well. “Thanks,” he said, pulling Kris closer to him, tightening the hug.
When Kris pulled back, his grin was manic as he looked at the clock against the far wall. “Well, we’re late, but I think we can still get a table, if you want? We need to celebrate! Does anyone else know yet?” Kris asked as he stood and pulled Adam up with him.
“No, not yet. I figured I would tell Dad and Neil during dinner tonight.” He slid a hand around Kris to rest at the small of his back, “Come on, let’s go eat and then I want to go see how Brad is doing. He was still sleeping when I left the house this morning.”
Adam used the hand on Kris’ back to guide him towards the door so he was just behind him and didn’t see the momentary frown cross his face as Brad was mentioned. When he was beside Kris again his features were smoothed into a happy smile once again. “Sounds like a plan.”
They had just settled into their seats at the restaurant, the car ride over spent talking about how much Dallas had changed in the time that Adam was gone, when he took a deep breath and looked Kris in the eye. “I’m sorry for never calling you.”
Kris’ eyes, which had been studying the menu, froze in spot as he took a sudden sharp breath. He took steadying breath before he replied, eyes still not moving, “Why?”
“Why didn’t I call or why did I try to kill myself?” Adam asked while setting his menu aside.
The table was quiet for a moment before Kris replied, “Both?” He took another steadying breath before he put his own menu down and looked up at Adam, “Both.”
It was Adam that time that had to take a breath to center himself. “I was a bit self-centered at that point. My self-worth was too tied up in what others thought of me and I couldn’t see past that moment. And by the time I realized that, it had been nearly three years.”
Their waitress came up then, an awkward smile on her face, “You ready or do you two need some more time?”
They glanced at each other before Kris gave Adam a soft smile, “Want me to order for us?”
Adam grinned and waved his hand, “Go for it.”
Kris looked up at the waitress, “We’ll have the Doro Wot and the Gomen please. Oh, and water for us both.” The waitress nodded, writing the order down and taking their menus, which Adam handed to her, before giving a grin and leaving them alone again.
“So, what did you get us?” Adam asked, fiddling with the napkin in his lap.
“Pretty much chicken and collard greens. You’ll like it, I promise.” Kris sighed and looked at Adam, his face open and engaged. “It wouldn’t have mattered if you had called me after three or five years. I just would have liked a call. I would have liked to know that you were doing okay. And not just from Neil or your father, but from you, in your own words.”
Adam leaned forward and put his hand over Kris’, his heart pounding as he looked into the brown eyes across from him. So oddly similar to Brad’s, but at the same time, so vastly different. Brad’s features were almost fox like in their angularity while Kris’... Kris’ eyes were suddenly starting to draw him in. “I’m sorry for not calling,” he said.
The hand under his turned over to grasp at it, “I’m glad you came home.”
For the rest of lunch they kept to easy topics of what they had been doing in the last eight years. Sure, they both had the basics from Neil, but Adam loved hearing from Kris directly about the time he and Neil got drunk and sang horrible karaoke with the both of them waking up in the morning, unsure of why they were wearing each other’s pants and who Loraine was. Apparently the mystery of Loraine was never solved, and to that day, Kris refused to drink Purple Nurples, “They are just bad news man, bad news.”
Soon enough, all that was left were scraps of injera and just smears of sauce on their plates. Adam couldn’t help but smile at Kris as he insisted on paying. “You being here is a celebration, we should observe that celebration with me paying for our lunch. Cause when you become a famous rock star I can say that I bought you lunch before you were famous!”
He couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Hey, just think, I can say that the future head of Allen Enterprises bought me lunch!” Kris laughed right along with Adam, but he could tell that his heart wasn’t in it. It was starting to get painfully obvious to Adam that Kris really wasn’t happy where he was, but he had no idea how to help.
“Come on,” Kris stood, tossing his napkin onto the table. “Let’s get you home so that you can see my idiot infirm step-brother.”
Adam stood and followed Kris out the door, his thoughts on Kris’ apparent unhappiness shoved to the back burner with the mention of Brad.
“Adam!” Brad cried out when Adam and Kris came into Brad’s room. He was lying in bed on his stomach, blankets tucked in around him. For a moment he tried to sit up, but winced and flopped right back down, groaning into the pillows. “My ass hurts and not in the fun way...”
Adam shot an amused grin at Kris before he knelt down next to the bed and began to run his fingers through Brad’s mussed hair. Brad grinned and nuzzled his head into the pillow in obvious pleasure. “He’s really doped up, isn’t he?” Adam asked Kris who had sat down on the edge of the bed.
Kris nodded, “Yeah, I think he snuck a second pill or something. Vicodin is a favorite of his.”
Adam just nodded and continued to play with Brad’s hair. When Brad cracked an eye open and looked up at him, he grinned down, “You want me to stay and help take care of you?”
“No!” both Brad and Kris shouted, surprising Adam.
“You would be so bored Adam!” Brad cried out, again trying to sit up before he huffed and stayed prone. He turned to Kris, eyes big and pleading, “Kris! Kris, brother of mine! You have to keep Adam company!”
“Brad,” Kris started before he was cut off by Brad.
“You have to stick to him like glue so he doesn’t forget about me and run away with someone pretty,” Brad said trying for sotto voce and missing by a mile.
Kris just rolled his eyes before he nodded at Brad, “Sure Brad.” Adam laughed almost missing Kris’ continued reply, “As if he ever could.”
The room was quiet as Brad began to snuggle back down into the bed and Adam tried to understand why he felt so sad at Kris’ comment. Once Brad was settled he looked at Adam and Kris still next to and on the bed respectively. He looked between the two of them and gave a dopey grin, “Okay you two, off! I need more beauty rest if I am to be at fighting shape for Adam to tame the flowers at the treehouse.”
It was an obvious struggle for Kris to keep in his laughter as he stood up, Adam following. “Okay Brad, you get that rest,” Kris said, rubbing his hand down Brad’s back fondly. By then Brad was already asleep and Kris guided Adam out of the room, a hand at the small of his back, before closing the door.
“Listen,” Kris turned to look down the hallway away from Adam, “I’m going to be busy tomorrow and Tuesday. Most everyone is going to be off from the 23rd until after the New Year, so I want to make sure everything is okay for while people are gone. But how about we go out on Wednesday? I know Neil and Daniel will be around, we can all go out and have some fun together before we have to get back into the monkey suits for the Solstice Gala.”
Adam opened and closed his mouth for a moment before he frowned, “Solstice? I always thought it was the Annual Christmas Ball?”
Kris looked back at Adam, a grin breaking out, “Yeah, Mom is trying to be more PC these days. All inclusive and everything. So, Wednesday?”
“I’ll make sure Neil wears appropriate dancing shoes.”
“Danielle, I think I’m fucked,” Adam fell across his bed, staring up at the old poster of Queen on his ceiling.
He heard a huff of laughter over the phone before Danielle spoke, “And this is different from every other time, how?”
“I think Kris took me on a date yesterday.”
“What?” came from two voices.
Adam frowned, “Did you put me on speaker with Tommy?”
“Of course she did! And don’t think that after you got off the phone with Danielle that you wouldn’t be calling me right away!” Tommy said with humor in his voice.
“What are you... Are you at our apartment?” Adam asked, sitting up now.
There was a pause before he heard Tommy give a gusty sigh, “It’s lonely without you here man. Danielle has been staying since you left. But, who cares about that, tell us about your maybe date with the boy who isn’t Brad!”
Sometimes Adam wondered if Tommy hadn’t been a Jewish Grandmother in his past life with how much he loved to gossip about relationships and other people’s lives. “Well, it was nice?”
“Nice?” Danielle asked. “Why do I hear a question mark at the end of that sentence? It either wasn’t or it was.”
He could hear the rustling of fabric as the two moved around on what was probably Adam’s bed. Adam could picture the two of them snuggled together, the phone between them as they reclined against the wall, pillows behind their backs for support, and he was hit with a wave of longing so deep he could barely swallow past it. It had only been a few days, but since moving away, the two of them had been Adam’s lifeline. He only wished that they could be here with him, sharing the gossip in person over a movie and cheap wine.
“It was nice,” Adam responded. “Just really unexpected.”
Tommy scoffed, “Dude, I doubt it is really all that unexpected. Anyway, what makes you move it from ‘friendly lunch,’” Adam could hear the air quotes in that, “to date territory?”
“Well,” Adam laid back down and turned his head, looking out the window, “I may have kissed him right after he asked the night I got back.”
Adam could hear the wind outside his window in the resulting silence. The sun was setting, creating a beautiful array of colors that reminded Adam of all the summers he used to spend there. It was just that morning that he and Neil had spent the day together, hitting all their old haunts and catching up in person. Neil had shown off his office at the magazine he worked for before they settled at a favorite café of theirs for lunch.
“So, you going to visit more often now?” Neil asked as he took a big bite out of the turkey panini he had ordered.
Adam picked at the salad on his plate, “I don’t know. I mean, I had forgotten how beautiful it is here. LA might have all this color to it, but it is artificial, all chemical.”
“At least when you are in LA you are closer to Mom, even if San Diego is a few hours away. I barely get the time to see her since I moved to Texas full time. Don’t get me wrong, I love being so close to Dad, but I miss Mom too.” Neil pushed his plate away, his face thoughtful, “Do you ever miss when we were all together?”
“You mean before Mom and Dad split?” Adam asked. Neil nodded and he sighed, “Of course I do. But I also wouldn’t wish unhappiness on them because of us wanting them to be together while they didn’t. It is fucking amazing how well they get on now, but I know it took time for them to start being friends again.”
Adam took a bite from his salad, “That’s what I want in the end. I want the romance and the love and the passion, but mainly I want the friendship and companionship that comes from that.”
Neil’s face twisted up in a grimace, “And you honestly think you could get that with Brad, who is engaged, to be married, to another man, in like, a month?”
“Maybe,” he put his fork down, “I’ve been in love with him since I saw him. I have to at least see what happens.” Neil just shook his head and pulled his plate close again, dismissing the topic.
“You kissed Kris?” Danielle’s voice broke Adam from his memory. He could hear fabric moving and knew that Tommy was flailing.
“I mean,” Adam paused and sighed, “it was just a peck really.”
“Adam!” both Danielle and Tommy’s voices rang out.
Adam huffed into the phone, “We were dancing to that Edith Piaf song, La Vie en Rose. You know, the one that goes Des yeux qui font baisser les miens/Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche.” Adam could hear Danielle sigh after he finished singing the two lines.
“That’s so romantic!” she murmured.
“It was,” Adam sighed, “But that is what got me into this mess.”
“Would it be so bad if you actually did date Kris?” Tommy asked.
The line was silent for a moment before Adam frowned when he saw what time it was, “Hey, I have to go. I’ll talk to you guys later. Try to not have sex on my bed!” He hung up cutting off their protests.
Master Post| Part One|Part Two| Part Three