it's love, make it hurt, i deserve it...
i dunno how to start off this entry... but here goes...
i was not looking forward to today... friday... i dreaded it... cuz i wasn't sure if Paola would go, or what would happen... or anything. but ya know, i'm glad this happened. i found myself in all of this. this past week, i have not been myself, at all. not one bit. i turned into this selfish asshole... and i hate that. i hate what i became. and today was a reality check or sorts. like Ruby and I get to bowlero, no probs. then some chick is out there and tells us Paola is in there... i freaked... literally. i wanted to leave. i didn't even want to be there. but no, we went in. it sucked, cuz when i tried to give Paola a hug, she like told me to go away. that sucked. cuz she was on the verge of tears, if not crying. that spattered my brains on the wall for all to see. it hit me then. WTF did i do? i was gone after that, i wanted to talk to her, but couldn't. so i went outside with Royce and smoked a cig. Ruby tagged along, she kinda just stayed outside when we went back inside. talked to Paola for like a split second, and played some pool. i sucked, i couldn't stop thinking, and hating myself. and yea. i kept avoiding Ruby, i really didn't want to be with her. i felt really bad. i just felt like an ass being next to her. she tried talking to me, but i wouldn't say much. i had nothing to say to her. but yea, i got a ride home with Kisha. well, kinda. i got dropped off at Paola's house, cuz i wanted to talk to her and stuff. we talked, got everything out. and got totally surprised... yea... i love her, i realized how much i did tonight. and that won't change. i'm glad tonight happened...
to all that put with me... erm... thanks. kewl deal... haha... and to those of you that now hate me and don't want shit to do with me, erm... sorry?
yea, well i need sleep. yea... adios...
i was not looking forward to today... friday... i dreaded it... cuz i wasn't sure if Paola would go, or what would happen... or anything. but ya know, i'm glad this happened. i found myself in all of this. this past week, i have not been myself, at all. not one bit. i turned into this selfish asshole... and i hate that. i hate what i became. and today was a reality check or sorts. like Ruby and I get to bowlero, no probs. then some chick is out there and tells us Paola is in there... i freaked... literally. i wanted to leave. i didn't even want to be there. but no, we went in. it sucked, cuz when i tried to give Paola a hug, she like told me to go away. that sucked. cuz she was on the verge of tears, if not crying. that spattered my brains on the wall for all to see. it hit me then. WTF did i do? i was gone after that, i wanted to talk to her, but couldn't. so i went outside with Royce and smoked a cig. Ruby tagged along, she kinda just stayed outside when we went back inside. talked to Paola for like a split second, and played some pool. i sucked, i couldn't stop thinking, and hating myself. and yea. i kept avoiding Ruby, i really didn't want to be with her. i felt really bad. i just felt like an ass being next to her. she tried talking to me, but i wouldn't say much. i had nothing to say to her. but yea, i got a ride home with Kisha. well, kinda. i got dropped off at Paola's house, cuz i wanted to talk to her and stuff. we talked, got everything out. and got totally surprised... yea... i love her, i realized how much i did tonight. and that won't change. i'm glad tonight happened...
to all that put with me... erm... thanks. kewl deal... haha... and to those of you that now hate me and don't want shit to do with me, erm... sorry?
yea, well i need sleep. yea... adios...