(no subject)
My anhedonia has gotten a lot worse, recently. It's my meds again, and it's getting a little ridiculous. It seems like I spend the entire day sitting in bed without the motivation to do anything whatsoever. I've also been losing the will to hang out with my friends. It's getting really rare for me to look forward to anything. Gets very boring, very fast.
Anywonk, they're trying to throw me back into group again, so maybe if I can actually bring this up, I can sort it out. However, I haven't been able to bring anything up so far of any importance, so there's probably little hope of that. It just seems like anything I bring up feels so trivial. I get this pretty distinct sense of guilt and begin to detect resentment which is probably all in my imagination. I mean, these group members are people who were terribly abused as children or are suffering from crippling diseases. My problems seem so tiny when I dwell on them, I start to see myself as a whiny, greedy loser. I think I'm also scared of my friends looking at me like some sort of weirdo. I wouldn't want to be a burden on them and am terrified of scaring them off. No matter how many times I see my therapist, I can't seem to get past this crap.
Go me.
Anywonk, they're trying to throw me back into group again, so maybe if I can actually bring this up, I can sort it out. However, I haven't been able to bring anything up so far of any importance, so there's probably little hope of that. It just seems like anything I bring up feels so trivial. I get this pretty distinct sense of guilt and begin to detect resentment which is probably all in my imagination. I mean, these group members are people who were terribly abused as children or are suffering from crippling diseases. My problems seem so tiny when I dwell on them, I start to see myself as a whiny, greedy loser. I think I'm also scared of my friends looking at me like some sort of weirdo. I wouldn't want to be a burden on them and am terrified of scaring them off. No matter how many times I see my therapist, I can't seem to get past this crap.
Go me.