Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'
It is always a terrible thing when a bad actor happens to a good movie. Worse still is when a bad movie happens to a good book.
How, then, to describe the incestuous, spine-popping clusterfuck that ensues when three good books are torn to pieces and their parts are fused together into one shambling Frankenstein's monster of a movie that is then reamed by an actor who not only chews scenery, but actually vaccums it up and then blows it out his ass?
Well, I suppose I did just describe it.
Let me start with one statement upon which your interpretation of my review must rest.
I do not find Jim Carrey funny anymore.
That is the grain of salt you have to take with my opinion.
Yes, I know Jim's an overactor. It's what he does, and I should expect it. But this was really too much.
Some of you might still like him. Fine. If you still enjoy his performances you will probably have no trouble stomaching A Series of Unfortunate Events. If, like me, you ceased to find Jim Carrey's antics amusing somewhere around Liar, Liar, or even before, you will find yourself squirming in your seat each time he comes onscreen.
I have heard it said that he needed to be reined in. Not so. He needed to be muzzled and shocked in the balls until he agreed never to pull another face. At times his mugging reminded me of nothing so much as watching a constipated old Japanese man squatting over one of those horrid Japanese standing toilets.
If you are not pleased by this mental image, blame him, not me.
At other times it was like watching someone else's ADD-addled eight-year-old on a sugar high tell off-color jokes he doesn't really understand while the grownups look on and laugh politely because nobody wants to be the one to tell him to shut the fuck up.
I think I laughed all of twice at Jim, as opposed to rolling my eyes.
And while we're on the subject of actors to hate, spacezombie, who graciously escorted me to see this movie, has asked me to say for his sake that he would rather "have [his] eyes gouged out than watch another movie with Cedric the Entertainer in it." Apparently, the 'Z found Cedric's presence "distracting and unneccessary." I don't watch TV, so I don't know who he is, but I'll agree he was annoying. No doubt he would have been more annoying if I had known who he was. So if you don't like Cedric the Entertainer, be warned: he has a small part in which he unconvincingly delivers some very simple lines.
Jim Carrey and Cedric the Entertainer aside, it was a beautiful movie to look at. The sets and costumes were just incredible, and almost everyone looked right. The rest of the acting was perfectly in line with what I had expected. Meryl Streep was especially entertaining as poor, paranoid Aunt Josephine.
The kids were well-cast and competent, and I believe that Emily Browning and Liam Aiken may have been the only people who were actually acting in the whole movie. Most of the time it seemed like their scenes were taken from a separate movie entirely. Both merit watching, they have identifiable talent.
Emily in particular was quite charming, a phrase which used here means "I'll be in my bunk." (I'd feel more guilty about that, but she's sixteen. I can't feel bad for having dirty thoughts about a girl who is older than I was when I started doing the things I am thinking about.)
Her acting was superb, and I could not help but convulse with laughter when, in character, she accuses Jim Carrey of being "A Bad Actor." I felt embarrassed for her having to stand so close to him, as though he might rub off on her.
Actually, I feel kind of embarrassed for this whole movie, which would have been a lot more charming if not for Carrey. The adaptation was uneven, and I think his acting overbalanced it.
I love the Lemony Snicket books. Nevertheless, I'm not a purist. I don't care what you take out or leave in when it comes to adapting books for the screen, as long as it's still a good movie when you're done with it. All the visual appeal in the world, however, can't make up for the fact that A Series of Unfortunate Events is three movie-length books made into one movie. Problems are going to occur.
I'm not for a moment suggesting that they should make thirteen movies, but it seems that the scriptwriter was so daunted by what was a genuinely intimidating task that he stopped trying and simply threw things together pell-mell.
Much was cut in the transition, and it felt rushed. The handful of little additions seemed unnecessary. Some of the rearrangements and deletions I agree with, such as the transfer of the wedding scene from the end of the first book to the end of the movie. Others left me cold.
A lot of what I loved about the books was feel, and that did not make it to the screen, despite noble and often inventive efforts. This is, frustratingly enough, completely understandable.
Subtitling Sunny's baby talk was an effective work-around, but it would have been more effective had the dialogue been better.
Likewise, the narration was a good idea, even if it didn't work very well. It seemed a bit out of place, but that was an editing/writing flaw, and not the fault of the narrator himself. In fact, Jude Law's silky English accent proved to me that I can, indeed, be Pavloved into having a physical reaction to the sound of someone's voice.
Also adding to mood, though too late, was the closing credits sequence, which were very cool. They're backed by a long, stylish, and lively 2-d cutout-animated sequence that did nothing but make me wish that the whole movie had been done like that.
All the clever subtitles, nifty animation, and British accents in the world, though, couldn't quite manage to bridge the page/screen gap. The books are all about language and tone, two things it is almost impossible to work with in a visual medium like movies. Too much irony will also kill a movie quicker than it will kill a book, so the writer or director erred on the side of caution and we were left without most of Lemony Snicket's dry wit. Unfortunately, all that remained of the books' tone was the maudlin fatalism, leavened by a dash of syrupy sweetness right at the end.
This movie was uneven at best, and while it did capture something of the books' charm - or anti-charm - it didn't quite succeed as a movie on its own. I would not recommend it to anyone who has not read or did not like the books. Also, if you don't like Jim Carrey, take that into account before paying full price. He hogs the stage so much I am tempted to make a Charlotte's Web or a Babe joke.
In short, only people who loved the books and like Jim Carrey will enjoy this movie as much as the franchise would like you to. Worth second-run or rental, certainly, if you're into Jim Carrey, serious jailbait, or kids' movies in general.
link
How, then, to describe the incestuous, spine-popping clusterfuck that ensues when three good books are torn to pieces and their parts are fused together into one shambling Frankenstein's monster of a movie that is then reamed by an actor who not only chews scenery, but actually vaccums it up and then blows it out his ass?
Well, I suppose I did just describe it.
Let me start with one statement upon which your interpretation of my review must rest.
I do not find Jim Carrey funny anymore.
That is the grain of salt you have to take with my opinion.
Yes, I know Jim's an overactor. It's what he does, and I should expect it. But this was really too much.
Some of you might still like him. Fine. If you still enjoy his performances you will probably have no trouble stomaching A Series of Unfortunate Events. If, like me, you ceased to find Jim Carrey's antics amusing somewhere around Liar, Liar, or even before, you will find yourself squirming in your seat each time he comes onscreen.
I have heard it said that he needed to be reined in. Not so. He needed to be muzzled and shocked in the balls until he agreed never to pull another face. At times his mugging reminded me of nothing so much as watching a constipated old Japanese man squatting over one of those horrid Japanese standing toilets.
If you are not pleased by this mental image, blame him, not me.
At other times it was like watching someone else's ADD-addled eight-year-old on a sugar high tell off-color jokes he doesn't really understand while the grownups look on and laugh politely because nobody wants to be the one to tell him to shut the fuck up.
I think I laughed all of twice at Jim, as opposed to rolling my eyes.
And while we're on the subject of actors to hate, spacezombie, who graciously escorted me to see this movie, has asked me to say for his sake that he would rather "have [his] eyes gouged out than watch another movie with Cedric the Entertainer in it." Apparently, the 'Z found Cedric's presence "distracting and unneccessary." I don't watch TV, so I don't know who he is, but I'll agree he was annoying. No doubt he would have been more annoying if I had known who he was. So if you don't like Cedric the Entertainer, be warned: he has a small part in which he unconvincingly delivers some very simple lines.
Jim Carrey and Cedric the Entertainer aside, it was a beautiful movie to look at. The sets and costumes were just incredible, and almost everyone looked right. The rest of the acting was perfectly in line with what I had expected. Meryl Streep was especially entertaining as poor, paranoid Aunt Josephine.
The kids were well-cast and competent, and I believe that Emily Browning and Liam Aiken may have been the only people who were actually acting in the whole movie. Most of the time it seemed like their scenes were taken from a separate movie entirely. Both merit watching, they have identifiable talent.
Emily in particular was quite charming, a phrase which used here means "I'll be in my bunk." (I'd feel more guilty about that, but she's sixteen. I can't feel bad for having dirty thoughts about a girl who is older than I was when I started doing the things I am thinking about.)
Her acting was superb, and I could not help but convulse with laughter when, in character, she accuses Jim Carrey of being "A Bad Actor." I felt embarrassed for her having to stand so close to him, as though he might rub off on her.
Actually, I feel kind of embarrassed for this whole movie, which would have been a lot more charming if not for Carrey. The adaptation was uneven, and I think his acting overbalanced it.
I love the Lemony Snicket books. Nevertheless, I'm not a purist. I don't care what you take out or leave in when it comes to adapting books for the screen, as long as it's still a good movie when you're done with it. All the visual appeal in the world, however, can't make up for the fact that A Series of Unfortunate Events is three movie-length books made into one movie. Problems are going to occur.
I'm not for a moment suggesting that they should make thirteen movies, but it seems that the scriptwriter was so daunted by what was a genuinely intimidating task that he stopped trying and simply threw things together pell-mell.
Much was cut in the transition, and it felt rushed. The handful of little additions seemed unnecessary. Some of the rearrangements and deletions I agree with, such as the transfer of the wedding scene from the end of the first book to the end of the movie. Others left me cold.
A lot of what I loved about the books was feel, and that did not make it to the screen, despite noble and often inventive efforts. This is, frustratingly enough, completely understandable.
Subtitling Sunny's baby talk was an effective work-around, but it would have been more effective had the dialogue been better.
Likewise, the narration was a good idea, even if it didn't work very well. It seemed a bit out of place, but that was an editing/writing flaw, and not the fault of the narrator himself. In fact, Jude Law's silky English accent proved to me that I can, indeed, be Pavloved into having a physical reaction to the sound of someone's voice.
Also adding to mood, though too late, was the closing credits sequence, which were very cool. They're backed by a long, stylish, and lively 2-d cutout-animated sequence that did nothing but make me wish that the whole movie had been done like that.
All the clever subtitles, nifty animation, and British accents in the world, though, couldn't quite manage to bridge the page/screen gap. The books are all about language and tone, two things it is almost impossible to work with in a visual medium like movies. Too much irony will also kill a movie quicker than it will kill a book, so the writer or director erred on the side of caution and we were left without most of Lemony Snicket's dry wit. Unfortunately, all that remained of the books' tone was the maudlin fatalism, leavened by a dash of syrupy sweetness right at the end.
This movie was uneven at best, and while it did capture something of the books' charm - or anti-charm - it didn't quite succeed as a movie on its own. I would not recommend it to anyone who has not read or did not like the books. Also, if you don't like Jim Carrey, take that into account before paying full price. He hogs the stage so much I am tempted to make a Charlotte's Web or a Babe joke.
In short, only people who loved the books and like Jim Carrey will enjoy this movie as much as the franchise would like you to. Worth second-run or rental, certainly, if you're into Jim Carrey, serious jailbait, or kids' movies in general.
link