I'm just so TIRED
I asked Social Security to please reconsider my benefits based on the fact that I am now divorced and not receiving income from my spouse. I got the letter today that they had already done that back in 2016 and won't be raising my benefits any further.
$20
That was how much they raised me. I'm now worth $500 a month. $619 if you count the SNAP benefits.
I'm expected to live on $7,428 a year. That's 39% below the federal poverty level. Nobody could do this. Nobody could live on this.
I haven't decided if I will appeal it. While my expenses have gone up, some of their outdated information is slightly inaccurate in favor of me (no adjustment for higher SNAP benefits, they think I'm getting less help from my dad than I am) so I am afraid that they would find against me and lower my payments. It's a very real possibility that they even point out in the letter. So I have the choice: trigger a complete reevaluation and possibly get my payments lowered, or let it stand as-is and remain stable, if inadequate, on this amount. I don't want to make that choice. I don't want this to be happening.
Also, Smooch is doing well and eating well, but the food he's on is costing me around $150 a month -- more than it costs to feed ME -- and I'm eating into his emergency fund to pay for it when I would rather save that for, you know, actual emergencies. This is a huge expense, and I'm afraid that between that and the regular vet visits, I will have to rehome him. I don't want to do that. I desperately don't want to do that. A kidney disease cat with eye issues and behavior and litter problems that require regular vet visits, medication, and a specialized diet is going to be nigh-impossible to place, and I don't know if I could trust anyone else to stick with him despite his difficulties. I would definitely only adopt him out to a household where he would be the only pet. I love him so much. I don't want to send him away. I don't.
I really need patrons over at our Patreon. Or just some recurring payments set up through Paypal. Something.
I'm so tired. I'm so fucking tired.
I never wanted to be like this. I never wanted to be dead weight. And that's all I am. At best, all I can ever be is a charming but expensive pet for someone else to care for.
It's very, very hard not to hate myself. X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count:
$20
That was how much they raised me. I'm now worth $500 a month. $619 if you count the SNAP benefits.
I'm expected to live on $7,428 a year. That's 39% below the federal poverty level. Nobody could do this. Nobody could live on this.
I haven't decided if I will appeal it. While my expenses have gone up, some of their outdated information is slightly inaccurate in favor of me (no adjustment for higher SNAP benefits, they think I'm getting less help from my dad than I am) so I am afraid that they would find against me and lower my payments. It's a very real possibility that they even point out in the letter. So I have the choice: trigger a complete reevaluation and possibly get my payments lowered, or let it stand as-is and remain stable, if inadequate, on this amount. I don't want to make that choice. I don't want this to be happening.
Also, Smooch is doing well and eating well, but the food he's on is costing me around $150 a month -- more than it costs to feed ME -- and I'm eating into his emergency fund to pay for it when I would rather save that for, you know, actual emergencies. This is a huge expense, and I'm afraid that between that and the regular vet visits, I will have to rehome him. I don't want to do that. I desperately don't want to do that. A kidney disease cat with eye issues and behavior and litter problems that require regular vet visits, medication, and a specialized diet is going to be nigh-impossible to place, and I don't know if I could trust anyone else to stick with him despite his difficulties. I would definitely only adopt him out to a household where he would be the only pet. I love him so much. I don't want to send him away. I don't.
I really need patrons over at our Patreon. Or just some recurring payments set up through Paypal. Something.
I'm so tired. I'm so fucking tired.
I never wanted to be like this. I never wanted to be dead weight. And that's all I am. At best, all I can ever be is a charming but expensive pet for someone else to care for.
It's very, very hard not to hate myself. X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count: