Get a little closer, let fold.
Saw the doctor yesterday, had my foot X-rayed, they haven't gotten back to me yet (?!?) but it's irrelevant at this point. I'm walking on it again, if not comfortably for long distances. I also got a good look at the X-rays after they were taken, courtesy of the two kind techs who let me behind the barricade to see my lovely little foot-bones! I saw nothing amiss in the slightest, although a hairline fracture might not have been apparent.
And, more importantly, we discussed my worsening -- or at least, not improving -- depression, and she raised my dose of Lamictal.
We talked a little. I told her that I have been dealing with this for years, and that I'm good at it, and that I'm not feeling the urge to hurt myself, so for me to ask for help really is unusual, and she agreed. She basically said "Yeah, that's really worrisome, since you're usually so on top of it. You were absolutely right to come to me, I'm really glad you did. Good call."
Which made me feel like a strong person in a rough place, rather than a weak person. And made me feel . . . I don't know. Respected. Valued on a personal level. I really like her. I like her so much.
It was exhausting, though. Running around to get signed in to the hospital proper and get to the lab and get X-rayed and back to the parking lot in the thousand-degree heat. Much much much thanks to Sargon who came along and helped me out. I really appreciate it.
I felt a mess later and only realized belatedly that, despite being EXTREMELY excited to have radiation shot through my extremities, the environment had nevertheless jabbed me in a really nasty spot and I had to fight off a few stray gross feelings yesterday and today. But I'm fine. I am.
Took the first raised dose of Lamictal this morning. Really hoping it works. Really hoping it does as well this time as it did last time. I felt so much better. I hope it's the same this time.
Thank you guys. For everything. Please keep your fingers crossed for me, that this might make a difference and let me get back on top of everything. X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count:
And, more importantly, we discussed my worsening -- or at least, not improving -- depression, and she raised my dose of Lamictal.
We talked a little. I told her that I have been dealing with this for years, and that I'm good at it, and that I'm not feeling the urge to hurt myself, so for me to ask for help really is unusual, and she agreed. She basically said "Yeah, that's really worrisome, since you're usually so on top of it. You were absolutely right to come to me, I'm really glad you did. Good call."
Which made me feel like a strong person in a rough place, rather than a weak person. And made me feel . . . I don't know. Respected. Valued on a personal level. I really like her. I like her so much.
It was exhausting, though. Running around to get signed in to the hospital proper and get to the lab and get X-rayed and back to the parking lot in the thousand-degree heat. Much much much thanks to Sargon who came along and helped me out. I really appreciate it.
I felt a mess later and only realized belatedly that, despite being EXTREMELY excited to have radiation shot through my extremities, the environment had nevertheless jabbed me in a really nasty spot and I had to fight off a few stray gross feelings yesterday and today. But I'm fine. I am.
Took the first raised dose of Lamictal this morning. Really hoping it works. Really hoping it does as well this time as it did last time. I felt so much better. I hope it's the same this time.
Thank you guys. For everything. Please keep your fingers crossed for me, that this might make a difference and let me get back on top of everything. X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count: