Good, Bad, Ugly. Mostly Bad and Ugly.
The steamponies are DONE. I will be photographing them ASAP, and hopefully they'll go out next week. Then y'all can have pictures once they're in their new homes, and the project will be complete. They are gorgeous, and I am foaming at the mouth to make you all look at them. It's taking reserves of self-control I was not aware I had not to post a teaser, but I don't want to ruin the surprise for the recipients.
More good news: test results say my thyroid is definitely out of whack, so I am starting on a higher dose of Synthroid tomorrow, and should be feeling better in a few days. I get my blood re-tested in a few weeks, and hopefully that'll be the end of that for another six months to a year. I'm just pleased that I was right, and we don't have to go looking for another explanation for the vaguest of all possible symptoms: always kinda tired.
I had a small meltdown today . . . probably unwarranted, but Monday and Tuesday were full of frustration and long waits, Wednesday was okay but I had company and was very tired and by the time I hit bed I felt unbelievably shitty, and today I find out that we are going to have to argue with Medicaid to cover the two really expensive meds I'm on. I've been trying to get these fucking meds refilled for a week, and it's one roadblock after another. BUT I would prefer not to talk about that, and I feel like an asshole complaining when so many people have it worse, and I really do not want to trigger the flood of "I needed a head transplant and insurance would only pay for a dog's body so now I spend all day licking my junk" stories because I think if I hear one more fucking depressing "I died three times while I waited for them to refill my nonaddictive anti-spontaneous-combustion pills, and then they repossessed my donated kidney to pay for the hospital bills" story I swear to god I will go drown myself in a bathtub full of bees, so, moving on.
Smooch is having some trouble with his not-actually-an-eye, and I think he may have gotten scratched inside the lid by Asshole during a play-fight. It's a little bit of clean blood and clear fluid, nothing foul or gross-colored, not inflamed or anything. I'm going to watch it, but if it doesn't improve quickly I'm taking him to the vet. Not that he can lose the not-an-eye, there's literally nothing in there, but I don't want any sort of infection settling in and potentially spreading into his sinuses or something. Poor baby. I will definitely be asking for help if we have to take him in. I'll ignore my own health problems, but not my boys'.
We're watching Supernatural, nearing the end of Season 2, and it's terrible. Just terrible. It doesn't take itself seriously, which -- besides the boys -- is its one saving grace. I am enjoying it immensely. I think I could eat Jared Padalecki three times a day, seven days a week, and not get tired of the faces he makes. I need to find or make a list of the episodes in which he cries, and see if anyone's made a montage of him making that earnest and sympathetic face he does so well. It'll be interesting to see if knowing that the show has horrendous gender issues ahead of time makes it tolerable, or if I'll be put off anyway. I suspect I'll sit through a lot of punishment, because if you like boys, you don't find that kind of eye candy every day. In other news, I need to start on Teen Wolf.
Next month is the campaign for the new Adventurotica novel. I'm already exhausted thinking about it. I'm so tired of having to beg for money. I'm tired of spending a month stressed out of my wits. I'm tired of scrambling to finish things that should never have taken me that long to begin with. I'm tired of it not being my writing -- not that there's anything wrong with Sargon and what he does, but . . . it hurts. I don't know how long we can keep this up, or what will happen when we can't. And I feel like an asshole again for complaining because it's really unprofessional, I know it is. I'll definitely ask if we need help for the cat or my meds, but if you want to help just in general, and maybe get something for your trouble, save your dollars and donate through there, help us reach goal.
I was doing really well a couple of days ago, and I suppose I still am, in that I'm not having a panic attack, nor rage flares, nor do I feel like stabbing my eyes out with plastic forks just to keep myself from crying, so I'm actually doing all right -- it doesn't sound like it, but I'm better than I could be. I'm trying to take my own advice. I'm worth fighting for. Never give up, never surrender. I'm just tired. I'm tired of having to do it. I don't doubt that I deserve better, I'm just tired of trying to kick "better" out of the disgusting Greyhound station vending machine of life while rich people deny that there's anything wrong. But I don't want to talk about that, either. Because if I hear one more "the government is full of evil fucknecks who want to take our rights away and then kill us" story, I'm going to fling myself into a vat of yak snot, because I'm pretty sure that'd be more pleasant.
Have a video of a leopard purring. He looks and sounds like Etrigan, adjusted for size. Listen to the harmonics on that purr!
I have to say, those big chuffs that are basically happy snarls are scary as shit, and yet also utterly adorable, and I wish I could pet his throat and feel him rumbling. From the fur sample I have, leopards are shockingly soft.
Ugh. I'm so cheerful tonight. But I said I'd update more, so there. That's an update.
X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count:
More good news: test results say my thyroid is definitely out of whack, so I am starting on a higher dose of Synthroid tomorrow, and should be feeling better in a few days. I get my blood re-tested in a few weeks, and hopefully that'll be the end of that for another six months to a year. I'm just pleased that I was right, and we don't have to go looking for another explanation for the vaguest of all possible symptoms: always kinda tired.
I had a small meltdown today . . . probably unwarranted, but Monday and Tuesday were full of frustration and long waits, Wednesday was okay but I had company and was very tired and by the time I hit bed I felt unbelievably shitty, and today I find out that we are going to have to argue with Medicaid to cover the two really expensive meds I'm on. I've been trying to get these fucking meds refilled for a week, and it's one roadblock after another. BUT I would prefer not to talk about that, and I feel like an asshole complaining when so many people have it worse, and I really do not want to trigger the flood of "I needed a head transplant and insurance would only pay for a dog's body so now I spend all day licking my junk" stories because I think if I hear one more fucking depressing "I died three times while I waited for them to refill my nonaddictive anti-spontaneous-combustion pills, and then they repossessed my donated kidney to pay for the hospital bills" story I swear to god I will go drown myself in a bathtub full of bees, so, moving on.
Smooch is having some trouble with his not-actually-an-eye, and I think he may have gotten scratched inside the lid by Asshole during a play-fight. It's a little bit of clean blood and clear fluid, nothing foul or gross-colored, not inflamed or anything. I'm going to watch it, but if it doesn't improve quickly I'm taking him to the vet. Not that he can lose the not-an-eye, there's literally nothing in there, but I don't want any sort of infection settling in and potentially spreading into his sinuses or something. Poor baby. I will definitely be asking for help if we have to take him in. I'll ignore my own health problems, but not my boys'.
We're watching Supernatural, nearing the end of Season 2, and it's terrible. Just terrible. It doesn't take itself seriously, which -- besides the boys -- is its one saving grace. I am enjoying it immensely. I think I could eat Jared Padalecki three times a day, seven days a week, and not get tired of the faces he makes. I need to find or make a list of the episodes in which he cries, and see if anyone's made a montage of him making that earnest and sympathetic face he does so well. It'll be interesting to see if knowing that the show has horrendous gender issues ahead of time makes it tolerable, or if I'll be put off anyway. I suspect I'll sit through a lot of punishment, because if you like boys, you don't find that kind of eye candy every day. In other news, I need to start on Teen Wolf.
Next month is the campaign for the new Adventurotica novel. I'm already exhausted thinking about it. I'm so tired of having to beg for money. I'm tired of spending a month stressed out of my wits. I'm tired of scrambling to finish things that should never have taken me that long to begin with. I'm tired of it not being my writing -- not that there's anything wrong with Sargon and what he does, but . . . it hurts. I don't know how long we can keep this up, or what will happen when we can't. And I feel like an asshole again for complaining because it's really unprofessional, I know it is. I'll definitely ask if we need help for the cat or my meds, but if you want to help just in general, and maybe get something for your trouble, save your dollars and donate through there, help us reach goal.
I was doing really well a couple of days ago, and I suppose I still am, in that I'm not having a panic attack, nor rage flares, nor do I feel like stabbing my eyes out with plastic forks just to keep myself from crying, so I'm actually doing all right -- it doesn't sound like it, but I'm better than I could be. I'm trying to take my own advice. I'm worth fighting for. Never give up, never surrender. I'm just tired. I'm tired of having to do it. I don't doubt that I deserve better, I'm just tired of trying to kick "better" out of the disgusting Greyhound station vending machine of life while rich people deny that there's anything wrong. But I don't want to talk about that, either. Because if I hear one more "the government is full of evil fucknecks who want to take our rights away and then kill us" story, I'm going to fling myself into a vat of yak snot, because I'm pretty sure that'd be more pleasant.
Have a video of a leopard purring. He looks and sounds like Etrigan, adjusted for size. Listen to the harmonics on that purr!
Click to viewI have to say, those big chuffs that are basically happy snarls are scary as shit, and yet also utterly adorable, and I wish I could pet his throat and feel him rumbling. From the fur sample I have, leopards are shockingly soft.
Ugh. I'm so cheerful tonight. But I said I'd update more, so there. That's an update.
X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count: