Wait, did you get SSI or SSDI? If the latter, it should be pretty much automated once it finally gets rolling, plus there's back pay if you can prove you've been disabled for a while before applying, and eventually medicare (which, if you're lucky, may be contracted out to a private insurance company for the same as your medicare costs... which actually means cheaper, better coverage by a LOT since you aren't splitting bills 80/20 anymore
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Whichever one you don't have to have worked to get is the one I'm getting. I literally cannot ever remember. I've never worked a "real job", so I can't get the other kind.
Obviously, if I don't know how much I'm getting, I don't know how much I am allowed to have/not have or make/not make, which is part of what is making me so monumentally fucking angry. Because I am basically waiting to find out how small this box I have to spend the rest of my life in IS. I don't know the limits and the thresholds, so I don't know how screwed I am. And I get to wait for them to tell me. Which I expected, but it's REALLY MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. :P
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I agree with you about fucking that forever. There are workarounds, I'm sure, but there shouldn't have to be. You should be allowed to have savings. We never actually manage to do so, but it should be allowed at least.
I hope you would be able to refinance based on the letter they'll send with what your monthly income will be, even without the back pay. The refinance game is a bitch, though.
Also: food stamps, we are on them. And part time jobs are a complete nope. I literally cannot work outside the home EVER, or even IN it routinely. Never ever happening. I'm legit sick, and will be FOREVER, which is they part that they, and most people, do not seem to understand.
Whoa whoa whoa... I don't doubt that you're legit sick or that you cannot work, not at all, but some people CAN be able to do some work outside the home and still be legitimately ill. It's important to respect that not every disability imposes identical limits, and that's why I mentioned it... for those who can, it's a nice option, and it doesn't mean they're any less sick or need the help any less. But please don't think that I was saying you're not really sick, or that you have to do something you can't
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I'm bitey, and I'm sorry. Truly. I didn't realize how pissy I was being.
I just want this to be done, because for real, the shape of my whole stupid *life* from here out is dependent on whatever they tell me, and waiting for that is a whole lot like waiting to be told whether or not you have a horrible disease. Like, I've done that, too, and it was worse, but I could hit it from here with a rock probably without looking. -_-
My mom asked me just yesterday what I saw myself able to do or hoping to do in five years and I flat-out could not answer her. Right now everything is about surviving the moment, I don't have energy to spare for a realistic vision of the future. But it's utterly terrifying to be not just unable to predict, but unable to even IMAGINE one's future.
Exactly. As far as I can see, I don't have one, and that's god's own truth. I get more of the same. I want to tear everything in the world to pieces, because this was not how it was supposed to be. I feel awful for feeling like that, and I can't even articulate why. Which also does not help.
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Obviously, if I don't know how much I'm getting, I don't know how much I am allowed to have/not have or make/not make, which is part of what is making me so monumentally fucking angry. Because I am basically waiting to find out how small this box I have to spend the rest of my life in IS. I don't know the limits and the thresholds, so I don't know how screwed I am. And I get to wait for them to tell me. Which I expected, but it's REALLY MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. :P ( ... )
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I hope you would be able to refinance based on the letter they'll send with what your monthly income will be, even without the back pay. The refinance game is a bitch, though.
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I'm bitey, and I'm sorry. Truly. I didn't realize how pissy I was being.
I just want this to be done, because for real, the shape of my whole stupid *life* from here out is dependent on whatever they tell me, and waiting for that is a whole lot like waiting to be told whether or not you have a horrible disease. Like, I've done that, too, and it was worse, but I could hit it from here with a rock probably without looking. -_-
Reply
My mom asked me just yesterday what I saw myself able to do or hoping to do in five years and I flat-out could not answer her. Right now everything is about surviving the moment, I don't have energy to spare for a realistic vision of the future. But it's utterly terrifying to be not just unable to predict, but unable to even IMAGINE one's future.
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