"Squick" is also the noise balloons make when they rub together.
New Adventurotica.com article! Not My Thing. Best first line ever.
I think I simultaneously sold my soul and achieved enlightenment the day I wrote balloon porn.
On paper, "pornographer" sounds pretty wild. It's one of those "You get paid to do that?!" jobs that people reflexively envy (the way they seem to envy any job that involves talking about sex or doing sexy things, even when that's explaining gonorrhea to bored teenagers). Like any other field, though, there's the low rung on the ladder, the jobs that must be done and nobody else wants to do, the porn equivalent of a fry cook at McDonald's. Those positions are not really enviable.
For over three years I was a porn fry cook. The volume required was very high, but at an hourly rate it paid quite well. At first, most of it was unremarkable. Spankings, horny housewives, high heels, pantyhose, schoolgirls. I reviewed a lot of horrible, horrible porn sites. Over time, however, a lot of weird crap got funneled my way because I was good, I was fast, and I was willing to try just about anything that wasn't barf, poop, corpses, kids, or clowns. "It's only pixels!" was my battle cry. "Bring on your shoe-fucking hairy fratboy fantasies. Locker room sock bondage fisting porn? Throw down the gauntlet, knave! I fear not the cake-sitting splosh porn with a side of BBW creampie and breast-smothering!"
Which is how I fell down the rabbit hole and wound up writing two dozen flash-fiction length pieces about fetishes that I not only did not have, but could not -- at that time -- even understand. I'm not going to list them, because my point here is not to single out anyone's fetish and say "You're weird!" but I will say that balloons was the first I attempted, because it was - to my mind - the least intimidating and yet the most challenging in that there seemed to me to be nothing sexual about balloons at all. Some of the others did kind of repel me, but I wrote them all anyway.
And it was there that I learned something vitally important about what gets people off:
It is almost universally true that even the weirdest fetishes relate back to familiar urges and desires, if you just follow them back far enough. . . .
Go, visit! It's a good one.
Also, Witches' Mark is up over at Amazon, in case you missed that update.
X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count:
I think I simultaneously sold my soul and achieved enlightenment the day I wrote balloon porn.
On paper, "pornographer" sounds pretty wild. It's one of those "You get paid to do that?!" jobs that people reflexively envy (the way they seem to envy any job that involves talking about sex or doing sexy things, even when that's explaining gonorrhea to bored teenagers). Like any other field, though, there's the low rung on the ladder, the jobs that must be done and nobody else wants to do, the porn equivalent of a fry cook at McDonald's. Those positions are not really enviable.
For over three years I was a porn fry cook. The volume required was very high, but at an hourly rate it paid quite well. At first, most of it was unremarkable. Spankings, horny housewives, high heels, pantyhose, schoolgirls. I reviewed a lot of horrible, horrible porn sites. Over time, however, a lot of weird crap got funneled my way because I was good, I was fast, and I was willing to try just about anything that wasn't barf, poop, corpses, kids, or clowns. "It's only pixels!" was my battle cry. "Bring on your shoe-fucking hairy fratboy fantasies. Locker room sock bondage fisting porn? Throw down the gauntlet, knave! I fear not the cake-sitting splosh porn with a side of BBW creampie and breast-smothering!"
Which is how I fell down the rabbit hole and wound up writing two dozen flash-fiction length pieces about fetishes that I not only did not have, but could not -- at that time -- even understand. I'm not going to list them, because my point here is not to single out anyone's fetish and say "You're weird!" but I will say that balloons was the first I attempted, because it was - to my mind - the least intimidating and yet the most challenging in that there seemed to me to be nothing sexual about balloons at all. Some of the others did kind of repel me, but I wrote them all anyway.
And it was there that I learned something vitally important about what gets people off:
It is almost universally true that even the weirdest fetishes relate back to familiar urges and desires, if you just follow them back far enough. . . .
Go, visit! It's a good one.
Also, Witches' Mark is up over at Amazon, in case you missed that update.
X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count: