I will put my tongue in your ass but I will not scrapbook your fucking vacation pictures.

[naamah_darling]

I left a shorter version of this in comments to ursulav's rather ashamed post about her fear of being mistaken for a scrapbooker. That post is worth reading in its entirety. Ursula is awesome

Comments

[amazon_syren]

I do that, too.

I mean, with me, it's less about scrap-book stuff (I hear you can get clockwork gears, though! Woo!) and more about just being in Michael's.

I find that the Mainstream Cultural Assumptions -- that "everyone" is, in this particular case, Christian -- just have their volume turned up to 100 in those places.

I take heart in seeing "Domiknitrix" on the shelf and (Twilight-inspired?) gothic stuff in the jewellery area, and - quite frequently - the punk-assed grrls working the check-out line, but ye gods. The number of companies that have incorporated jesus-fish into their corporate logo? Frightening. I've been trying to find a large book-shaped silver charm for over a year and all I can find are bibles. There are fourteen different kinds of crosses available and maybe an Om. And that's pretty much it

[naamah_darling]

Yeah, we have Hobby Lobby here, which is EXPLICITLY Christian in a really gross way (breath mints called "TestaMints" and I wish I were kidding), so Michael's looks like a head shop parked next to the Doublemeat Orgy Palace in comparison.

[isabelknight]

Hee. I totally read that as "testi-mints" for a minute and was thinking about minty-fresh nads and the overlap with the tea-bagger movement.

Actually, my high-school biology teacher once told me that "testify" and "testament" both came form the same root as "testicle," and that in the time of the biblical patriarchs, men would clutch their testicles as they swore to things - kind of offering them up as proof of the veracity of their statement. I honestly have no idea if that's true (she was a strange and wonderful woman who let me dissect roadkill for elective credit and I suspect she occasionally made things up to fuck with us), but ever since I have snickered like a twelve year old every time I hear those words.

[naamah_darling]

I heave heard the same thing about "testify," and it is believed to the extent that it has also been put about that some radical feminists believe that women should "ovarify" in court.

I don't know that I believe either, but it certainly is amusing.

Roadkill for extra credit. Damn, she sounds awesome.

[isabelknight]

My favorite story about her is the time she burst into the biology lab, where I was, um, making out with my boyfriend at the time (I was a lab aide, so I had access privileges and kind of abused them, on the grounds that it was at least practical anatomy) shouting "[Myfirstname], did you know humans are the only mammal without a bone in the penis? That's what the spare beaver bone was!" - while brandishing a beaver bacula at me*. To this day, I'm not sure if it was just a coincidence, or if she correctly surmised that it would prevent a recurrence of the incident by making the boyfriend acutely uncomfortable

[naamah_darling]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

OMG your poor boyfriend. *DIES*

[pandoradeloeste]

I heard something similar at temple. There's a verse in the Torah (don't know if it survived translation) about one of the big patriarchs dying (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, one of those) and asking his children to promise him something on his deathbed, and his kids put their hands on his testicles to make the promise. (The verse is actually something like "they put their hands under his thigh", with a giant footnote explaining that it's been taken to mean that they grabbed his balls, and the cultural significance of it.*)

*Jews do this a lot - write extensive commentary on their texts. Terry Pratchett ain't got nothing on us.

[wikdsushi]

I hate to say it, but I shop at Hobby Lobby sometimes. The religious atmosphere makes me feel like I'm going to be lynched if I open my fat, atheist mouth, but, man, have they got some soft, cheap cotton yarn.

[naamah_darling]

I shop there too, though I feel awful about it. They have a lot of cool shit in the woodworking section. Weird little cabinets and boxy shit that I can turn into neat things quite easily. They have LOADS of kickass glassware. They also have a ton of awesome Christmas stuff around the holidays, and I LOVE Christmas decorations.

[shakatany]

I googled and found a whole bunch of silver book charms here

Shakatany