"If she felt she could live without him, she wouldn't be with someone who was beating her up."
Wait, what? My now-ex turned on me, and maybe in hindsight I could have seen how he'd changed towards me, but I never thought he'd try to kill me and then one day he did. I threw him out the first time he tried it, and no, actually, it wasn't at all easy to get him to leave. I couldn't have made him go without the help and support of people around me - because the police won't help if it's a domestic - and by God am I glad that they didn't turn around then and tell me that obviously it was something that I'd asked for by being in that relationship in the first place.
You don't know whether this was the first time, you don't know whether she wants out, you don't know what she's tried to get away from him in the past, you don't know what her reasons are for staying. You certainly don't know what she'll do in the future. Please don't assume she's worthless, just because her abuser treats her that way. Sure, the domestic situations that don't get solved are the ones that are most visible because they keep coming round again and again, but there are also a lot that do get sorted out - they're just not as obvious in the statistics because, well, they get sorted out. And yeah, I understand how incredibly frustrating this must be for police who do intervene, but sometimes it does make a real difference to have someone step in and say, no, this must stop.
Hi, Namaah *waves*, delurking on your journal to add my rant two pennoth-worth. You did the right thing, in so far as anyone can tell - sometimes these things end well and sometimes they end badly and most often there's no change at all. But every time someone acts to stop violence they send out the message that violence is not acceptable. And at the end of the day, that's the only truthful response to this sitution.
Wait, what? My now-ex turned on me, and maybe in hindsight I could have seen how he'd changed towards me, but I never thought he'd try to kill me and then one day he did. I threw him out the first time he tried it, and no, actually, it wasn't at all easy to get him to leave. I couldn't have made him go without the help and support of people around me - because the police won't help if it's a domestic - and by God am I glad that they didn't turn around then and tell me that obviously it was something that I'd asked for by being in that relationship in the first place.
You don't know whether this was the first time, you don't know whether she wants out, you don't know what she's tried to get away from him in the past, you don't know what her reasons are for staying. You certainly don't know what she'll do in the future. Please don't assume she's worthless, just because her abuser treats her that way. Sure, the domestic situations that don't get solved are the ones that are most visible because they keep coming round again and again, but there are also a lot that do get sorted out - they're just not as obvious in the statistics because, well, they get sorted out. And yeah, I understand how incredibly frustrating this must be for police who do intervene, but sometimes it does make a real difference to have someone step in and say, no, this must stop.
Hi, Namaah *waves*, delurking on your journal to add my rant two pennoth-worth. You did the right thing, in so far as anyone can tell - sometimes these things end well and sometimes they end badly and most often there's no change at all. But every time someone acts to stop violence they send out the message that violence is not acceptable. And at the end of the day, that's the only truthful response to this sitution.
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