The Leg-Biting Bitch Loves To Fucking Swear.
This is a public service announcement.
Swearing unoriginally is crude and pathetic. Swearing inventively is an entirely valid method of self-expression. You are going to run across a lot of both on the internet. Chastising people for swearing is going to do no good whatsoever.
This comes a bit late on the heels of the complaints, but a couple of people have taken umbrage to the fact that this entry was particularly laden with foul language.
First, I want to point out that anything with a title that starts "The Leg-Biting Bitch . . ." is probably not going to contain love poetry and recipes for chocolate truffles. Not without a shitload of swearing thrown in.
Second, let me explain something in the specific context of that entry, and other entries featuring feminist-type shit. Keeping "foul language" out of things is not going to make assholes take women seriously. The kind of assholes who are offended by foul language from women do not and never will have any respect for women. Years' worth of being soft-spoken and polite has done fuckall to get through to these cocks. Might as well speak your mind, even - perhaps especially - if it means being labeled as a bitch, hysterical, or a humorless cunt.
Now, generally, I'm polite. I make reasoned arguments, I try not to be too vitriolic, and even when I'm ranting about how much the status quo sucks drawn-up donkey balls, I try not to swear at people unless they really deserve it.
I'm also all for being polite when writing letters, making phone calls, and so forth. I'm all for being polite as a method of enabling constructive discourse. Politically speaking, that is what one has to do if one wishes to be heard by those in power. But "those in power" does not include every drive-by dipdunk on the interent. I do not owe them politeness. In my personal journal - oh, excuse me, I have a vagina, so it acts as an echo chamber* - I am not obligated to eschew colorful language because some people are offended by it. Especially if those people are especially super-duper offended by the fact that it comes from a lady.
Hey! You bloated rectal pustules!
Fuck. Ladylike.
I am very much a woman, but I don't want to be whatever your definition of a "lady" is. I am entitled to swear in any way I see fit. There are times and places where that wouldn't be appropriate, yes. On my own journal, anytime I feel like it, is not one of those times or places. You don't have to like it when I do it, but it's not going to do you any good to sneer and scold me for it.
I swear online deliberately.
Why?
Because it's a power thing. Period.
I've been saving this quote from Firedog Lake:
"Civility" is not a virtue in itself, but a mechanism, a way of facilitating discourse: when someone is determined to say any fucking shit they want as a way of getting whatever they want and to loudly insist that they are in the right just because the other side is mean and vulgar when they point out, accurately, that they are little more than a vicious gang of crazy-assed lying motherfuckers... well, fuck civility. Truth is a higher virtue by several orders of magnitude.
Civility alone does not change people's minds. Civility works to further a conversation. That is a worthy goal, but furthering conversation with complete tools is not always what I want to do. It's generally pointless to spend my energy on trying to get through to brainless, bigoted assholes.
Try and guess how many comments I've gotten saying "Wow, because of what you've said, I've changed my mind about this!"
I've gotten maybe three or four. And that's out of 1,321 entries, including the ones in which I do not swear.
It is, at any rate, a vanishingly small number compared to the numbers of comments I get saying things like "Thank you for saying what I wish I was articulate enough to say." "Thank you. I don't feel so alone." "Thank you. I am going to link other people to this so that they will know how I feel." I have lost count of those.
There are a lot of folks out there who share my beliefs and don't know how to say it. Helping my allies shore up their arguments and clarify their reasoning is, to me, worth more than avoiding a scolding from some asswipe who is offended by my language. I don't need or want the goodwill or forbearance of people who are offended by dirty words. We are not outnumbered, but the opposition is powerful, and a lot of that power comes from being vocal. Right now, changing minds is of secondary importance to helping people speak out. It is time we quit making room for "differing opinions" when those opinions exclude and silence us. They don't give us the courtesy of their silence. Why should we yield that ground to them?
So, yeah, this is an "echo chamber." I don't tolerate hostile dissent. If by not tolerating dissent I can help make others' voices strong enough for them to speak, so be it. Is it fascist to stifle dissent in a private forum? Well, no.
First off, feminists aren't fascists. If you are one of those sad testicle-clutching poltroons who think that women are secretly drawing up plans for male incarceration camps and sharpening the blades for our castrating machines, you need to get a fucking grip on something other than your shriveled little nutsack. Actual fascism is way more hideous than the social equality we are proposing. Abandon your precious hyperbole for a moment and actually think about the apples and oranges you're comparing, because that comparison is pretty fucking offensive.
Second, legally speaking, yes, any dumbfuck has a right to express his dumbfuck opinion. I'm not quashing free speech by telling him "Get fucked by a priapic zombie snow leopard**, and get the hell out of my journal."
Morally speaking, some opinions are indefensible, and as a private citizen operating on a private forum, I am not obligated legally or morally to provide fistfucking dickwads with airtime just because they are entitled by law to talk out their asses.
I mean, Jesus, people, what's worse? My saying "fuck," or the heinous abrogation of our reproductive rights? So it's crude of me to call a pro-life, woman-hating sexist a festering shitmuffin. That justifies their hateful point of view and dangerous politics how? Oh, wait, it doesn't. It's just the excuse they happened to seize upon when searching for a reason to dismiss everything I say. If I hadn't sworn, would they have changed their minds? Not fucking likely.
Let me make a point.
Statements like "No wonder everyone hates you feminist bitches! You're so nasty and mean and foulmouthed and immature and bitter and so on that nobody wants to deal with you! People might give you what you want if you learned to ask for it politely!" are a patronizing pile of shit.
Fair and equal treatment, socially and legally, is not a "reward" for good behavior, or something we have to earn by being polite or pleasant or easy to deal with. It is something to which we are entitled by being born human.
Period.
And if any amount of swearing from women or any amount of anger or unreasonableness shown by them can change your fucking mind about that and make you withdraw your fragile sympathy and support, then you were never an ally to begin with. You were just looking for an excuse to turn your back. And you know what? Fuck you.
Because if you ever, for even a second, think that only women who are "ladylike" and "civilized" deserve equality, and that this can be justifiably withdrawn from those who are heinous bitches, or who fit your definition of irresponsible or slutty or what the fuck ever, then you are a serious asshole, and you are not a feminist, no matter how much you may nod your head when some (polite) feminists speak or how sexy or amusing or fascinating or "challenging" you might find us.
We should all be polite and nice to one another. Sure. We aren't, though. Most people are fuckups, assholes, shitheads, jerkoffs, or just plain stupid. However, we are not children or animals to be punished by withdrawal of privileges when we do not do what we should. Our gender (or race, or whatever) is not the measure of whether we need to be controlled.
You know what I really think we should all do?
I think we should speak the truth.
"Heroes know that some things are better than others." Prince Lear said that in The Last Unicorn. He is right, just as the woman at Firedog Lake was right. When fundamental pillars of human rights are at stake, truth is a higher virtue than civility. So speak the truth with all the passion, rage and fury that is within you.
It's my duty as an articulate, intelligent and - yes - reasonable feminist to encourage other women to kick up a fucking ruckus. If I'm doing my job right, I will occasionally make some young woman sit up in her chair and go "Hey, that's not fair and hey, I do have a voice!"
We won't change the world by arguing in circles, acting as a sharpening wheel for every idiot with an axe to grind. It can be done, but the expenditure of energy necessary to grind one axe down and change one mind is great and there is very little return. Better to direct that energy elsewhere and change the world by sharpening the minds of those who agree. Better to effect change by galvanizing those who don't know they have a say in the matter, or don't have experience actually expressing their opinions. Better to win by sheer force of numbers, to drown out the idiots with raised voices in the millions. And the most effective way of doing that is not always by keeping to language approved by others. The best way to do that is to speak loudly and with passion using whatever words you like.
We need to be con brio, con forza, con fuoco, in rilievo.
To speak softly in a climate of overwhelming hostility is to be diminuendo, perdendo, morendo.
Are those pretty enough words for you motherfuckers?
* Bingo.
** Pretty much the best worst picture ever. I love this drawing because of its utter lack of anything like shame or sanity. NSFW in any way, shape, or form.
Swearing unoriginally is crude and pathetic. Swearing inventively is an entirely valid method of self-expression. You are going to run across a lot of both on the internet. Chastising people for swearing is going to do no good whatsoever.
This comes a bit late on the heels of the complaints, but a couple of people have taken umbrage to the fact that this entry was particularly laden with foul language.
First, I want to point out that anything with a title that starts "The Leg-Biting Bitch . . ." is probably not going to contain love poetry and recipes for chocolate truffles. Not without a shitload of swearing thrown in.
Second, let me explain something in the specific context of that entry, and other entries featuring feminist-type shit. Keeping "foul language" out of things is not going to make assholes take women seriously. The kind of assholes who are offended by foul language from women do not and never will have any respect for women. Years' worth of being soft-spoken and polite has done fuckall to get through to these cocks. Might as well speak your mind, even - perhaps especially - if it means being labeled as a bitch, hysterical, or a humorless cunt.
Now, generally, I'm polite. I make reasoned arguments, I try not to be too vitriolic, and even when I'm ranting about how much the status quo sucks drawn-up donkey balls, I try not to swear at people unless they really deserve it.
I'm also all for being polite when writing letters, making phone calls, and so forth. I'm all for being polite as a method of enabling constructive discourse. Politically speaking, that is what one has to do if one wishes to be heard by those in power. But "those in power" does not include every drive-by dipdunk on the interent. I do not owe them politeness. In my personal journal - oh, excuse me, I have a vagina, so it acts as an echo chamber* - I am not obligated to eschew colorful language because some people are offended by it. Especially if those people are especially super-duper offended by the fact that it comes from a lady.
Hey! You bloated rectal pustules!
Fuck. Ladylike.
I am very much a woman, but I don't want to be whatever your definition of a "lady" is. I am entitled to swear in any way I see fit. There are times and places where that wouldn't be appropriate, yes. On my own journal, anytime I feel like it, is not one of those times or places. You don't have to like it when I do it, but it's not going to do you any good to sneer and scold me for it.
I swear online deliberately.
Why?
Because it's a power thing. Period.
I've been saving this quote from Firedog Lake:
"Civility" is not a virtue in itself, but a mechanism, a way of facilitating discourse: when someone is determined to say any fucking shit they want as a way of getting whatever they want and to loudly insist that they are in the right just because the other side is mean and vulgar when they point out, accurately, that they are little more than a vicious gang of crazy-assed lying motherfuckers... well, fuck civility. Truth is a higher virtue by several orders of magnitude.
Civility alone does not change people's minds. Civility works to further a conversation. That is a worthy goal, but furthering conversation with complete tools is not always what I want to do. It's generally pointless to spend my energy on trying to get through to brainless, bigoted assholes.
Try and guess how many comments I've gotten saying "Wow, because of what you've said, I've changed my mind about this!"
I've gotten maybe three or four. And that's out of 1,321 entries, including the ones in which I do not swear.
It is, at any rate, a vanishingly small number compared to the numbers of comments I get saying things like "Thank you for saying what I wish I was articulate enough to say." "Thank you. I don't feel so alone." "Thank you. I am going to link other people to this so that they will know how I feel." I have lost count of those.
There are a lot of folks out there who share my beliefs and don't know how to say it. Helping my allies shore up their arguments and clarify their reasoning is, to me, worth more than avoiding a scolding from some asswipe who is offended by my language. I don't need or want the goodwill or forbearance of people who are offended by dirty words. We are not outnumbered, but the opposition is powerful, and a lot of that power comes from being vocal. Right now, changing minds is of secondary importance to helping people speak out. It is time we quit making room for "differing opinions" when those opinions exclude and silence us. They don't give us the courtesy of their silence. Why should we yield that ground to them?
So, yeah, this is an "echo chamber." I don't tolerate hostile dissent. If by not tolerating dissent I can help make others' voices strong enough for them to speak, so be it. Is it fascist to stifle dissent in a private forum? Well, no.
First off, feminists aren't fascists. If you are one of those sad testicle-clutching poltroons who think that women are secretly drawing up plans for male incarceration camps and sharpening the blades for our castrating machines, you need to get a fucking grip on something other than your shriveled little nutsack. Actual fascism is way more hideous than the social equality we are proposing. Abandon your precious hyperbole for a moment and actually think about the apples and oranges you're comparing, because that comparison is pretty fucking offensive.
Second, legally speaking, yes, any dumbfuck has a right to express his dumbfuck opinion. I'm not quashing free speech by telling him "Get fucked by a priapic zombie snow leopard**, and get the hell out of my journal."
Morally speaking, some opinions are indefensible, and as a private citizen operating on a private forum, I am not obligated legally or morally to provide fistfucking dickwads with airtime just because they are entitled by law to talk out their asses.
I mean, Jesus, people, what's worse? My saying "fuck," or the heinous abrogation of our reproductive rights? So it's crude of me to call a pro-life, woman-hating sexist a festering shitmuffin. That justifies their hateful point of view and dangerous politics how? Oh, wait, it doesn't. It's just the excuse they happened to seize upon when searching for a reason to dismiss everything I say. If I hadn't sworn, would they have changed their minds? Not fucking likely.
Let me make a point.
Statements like "No wonder everyone hates you feminist bitches! You're so nasty and mean and foulmouthed and immature and bitter and so on that nobody wants to deal with you! People might give you what you want if you learned to ask for it politely!" are a patronizing pile of shit.
Fair and equal treatment, socially and legally, is not a "reward" for good behavior, or something we have to earn by being polite or pleasant or easy to deal with. It is something to which we are entitled by being born human.
Period.
And if any amount of swearing from women or any amount of anger or unreasonableness shown by them can change your fucking mind about that and make you withdraw your fragile sympathy and support, then you were never an ally to begin with. You were just looking for an excuse to turn your back. And you know what? Fuck you.
Because if you ever, for even a second, think that only women who are "ladylike" and "civilized" deserve equality, and that this can be justifiably withdrawn from those who are heinous bitches, or who fit your definition of irresponsible or slutty or what the fuck ever, then you are a serious asshole, and you are not a feminist, no matter how much you may nod your head when some (polite) feminists speak or how sexy or amusing or fascinating or "challenging" you might find us.
We should all be polite and nice to one another. Sure. We aren't, though. Most people are fuckups, assholes, shitheads, jerkoffs, or just plain stupid. However, we are not children or animals to be punished by withdrawal of privileges when we do not do what we should. Our gender (or race, or whatever) is not the measure of whether we need to be controlled.
You know what I really think we should all do?
I think we should speak the truth.
"Heroes know that some things are better than others." Prince Lear said that in The Last Unicorn. He is right, just as the woman at Firedog Lake was right. When fundamental pillars of human rights are at stake, truth is a higher virtue than civility. So speak the truth with all the passion, rage and fury that is within you.
It's my duty as an articulate, intelligent and - yes - reasonable feminist to encourage other women to kick up a fucking ruckus. If I'm doing my job right, I will occasionally make some young woman sit up in her chair and go "Hey, that's not fair and hey, I do have a voice!"
We won't change the world by arguing in circles, acting as a sharpening wheel for every idiot with an axe to grind. It can be done, but the expenditure of energy necessary to grind one axe down and change one mind is great and there is very little return. Better to direct that energy elsewhere and change the world by sharpening the minds of those who agree. Better to effect change by galvanizing those who don't know they have a say in the matter, or don't have experience actually expressing their opinions. Better to win by sheer force of numbers, to drown out the idiots with raised voices in the millions. And the most effective way of doing that is not always by keeping to language approved by others. The best way to do that is to speak loudly and with passion using whatever words you like.
We need to be con brio, con forza, con fuoco, in rilievo.
To speak softly in a climate of overwhelming hostility is to be diminuendo, perdendo, morendo.
Are those pretty enough words for you motherfuckers?
* Bingo.
** Pretty much the best worst picture ever. I love this drawing because of its utter lack of anything like shame or sanity. NSFW in any way, shape, or form.
