Suicide Part 2: Selfishness

[naamah_darling]

Part 1: Personal HistoryToday, part two on suicide. I've put it off for a long time because it's just tremendously difficult to talk about, and I still don't feel like I have my words right, and I still haven't responded to some of the best, most important comments on the last entry, but this needs to go up

Comments

[pixxelpuss]

I'm really touched by your story. I'm in grad school for psych, and I'm getting disillusioned and wondering whether I'll ever really help anyone. Thank you for giving me hope.

[reneekytokorpi]

Oh, don't give up! :) My psychiatrist was the only person who was able to take what my family was trying to say to me when I was suicidal and turn it into words I could understand and take to heart. Depression twists what you hear into negativity, and my psychiatrist could see through that and help me. I owe her everything I have now. A lot of times you'll hit people that won't listen to you because they're not ready and you have to drag them kicking and screaming to a solution, and other times you hit someone like me who is totally ready and desperately needs the help.

I'm hoping you'll do well!

[ealasaidh]

I'm late to this, but I would like to add a "don't give up!" comment here. I've been in therapy with several different psych folks, and they all helped in different ways. Each one of them materially improved my life, though it may not have been obvious to them at the time.

Being a psych worker is a noble profession, and I admire anybody who takes it on with the sincere desire to help others.

[deardriunatesa]

You know, there's a story similar to yours in one of the Chicken Soup for Teen's Soul books. My mom got it for me years ago, and that's the one story I always remember. It's about a boy who was going to commit suicide. He was at his locker, cleaning it out, when he dropped some stuff. Another boy came up and helped him picked it up, smiled at him, and asked him to hang out later or something. The kid didn't end up committing suicide, all because that boy helped him, and showed him that someone cared

[anonymous]

One person or one thing can make all the difference. It really can only take one person noticing and showing that they care to make you feel like it's worth hanging on another day. And then sometimes, the day after, you feel a little better.

For me, it's my pets. When I'm feeling at my worst, I tell myself, "You can kill yourself, but first you have to arrange to rehome the pets because nobody else is going to feed them when you're dead."

[ladydiana]

Many has been the time when my pets have saved my life. Several are older, two are very ill and have to be given expensive food to survive, and their condition monitored by someone familiar with it. If I were to die tomorrow, I can't guarantee that THEY would live, because of their condition.

There have been days when I've had to just push through and struggle for them. There's always this assumption that there's a supportive family in place, that they love you and that you KNOW that, but when the family isn't supportive, doesn't give a damn about you and NEVER bonded to you where you have even the slightest conviction they give a fat damn whether you live or die, when something is emotionally destroying you and you go sobbing to them for help, guidance, advice, anything, and they snottily tell you to shut the hell up because they're sick of hearing about your bullshit, it's a bit difficult to truly believe they'd notice beyond the funeral that you're gone

[cissa]

Yes. That's been true for me, too.