Toward a Childfree Identity
A friend, who has asked to remain anonymous for fear of leg-biting, poses a question about being childfree. It's a legitimate one that I have been asked before, but never seen answered. (And no, dear anonymous reader, I don't find the question offensive. I'm actually glad you asked.)
"I've been wondering why it's necessary to have the label. ( Read more... )
"I've been wondering why it's necessary to have the label. ( Read more... )
In art, sometimes you make a bad choice or make a mistake, and it's just that . . . bad.
But a lot of the time you discover that what you thought was a mistake is really just . . . something different. And so you go in the direction that leads you, and it's beautiful, and you wind up with a damn snappy piece of art that it's just not possible to be sorry you made.
It's even possible to do this after the fact; to do a thing, look back on it when it's too late to change, and say to yourself "I love this, I have never produced anything this amazing before, and I don't want to change this, but if I had done this one thing differently, then. . . ."
Even if you question what you might have had, you can't be sorry you've got the painting or sculpture or symphony or whatever that you do have.
It's not a mistake, really. It's a happy accident. But there's always going to be this other thing that didn't happen, and one wonders.
I know lots of parents who are happy parents, but who became that way accidentally. And while none of them would trade their kids for anything (and I can't say I blame them, because they're all terrific kids), there's always an awareness of what they gave up.
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