The Raw Deal
I love you gals, I really do.
I should have realized the last entry would turn into a huge dump for bad gynecologist stories. I'm glad to have them all in one place where I can get to them easily, should my vitriol on the subject start to wane.
I've already replied individually to most of the comments, but I'd like to say again to the lot of you that I am so incredibly sorry that shit happened to you. Some of it is just . . . well, as spacezombie says, good old-fashioned nightmare fuel. I honestly feel like I should be awarding some sort of prizes to you poor, maligned fuckers.
Short of bludgeoning the bastards who do this shit to death with a sock full of frozen rats and then lighting their corpses on fire, those of us who have been wronged often have little recourse. You can file a complaint with the medical licensing board of your state, but that often comes to very little, as it often takes a truly grievous offense involving bodily harm to force them to take action. However, I believe every little bit counts, and it's worth making the effort.
You can also go to Rate MDs, a site that lets you give your doctor a good or bad review. I've already lit into the jizzrags who've screwed me over and complimented the ones who have not, and you should do the same. The more people who contribute to public databases like this, the more complete they will become.
It's not as good as seeing them choked to death by a hissing swarm of flying attack eels fired from the asses of twin Japanese schoolgirls, but, then, that could be said of most things.
Failing that, there's always mail-order dog turds.
I would also like to say to those who have innocently wandered into the conversation that most doctors are not like the bad ones, and that our collective moan of misery over our shared bad experiences is not to be taken as carte blanche to avoid medical care altogether. It is entirely possible to hire a professional to help one look after one's health without being subjected to nightmarish torment. I realize that is not how it sounds around here the past few days, but it's nevertheless true.
I encourage even the most shy violets among you to go to the girly-doc every couple of years or so, if only so you can get your clean-pussy certification.
I'm gonna get mine!
Thank you, laturner. As I said, once I have a clean bill of health, I'm sorely tempted to display it in my front window like a liquor license.
My point overall being not that you should avoid gynecology, but that you should simply refuse to take any shit from your doctors. They work for you, not the other way around. Never forget that, even if they seem to have a hard time processing the concept.
I'd also like to say a couple of things to the men reading. If there are men reading, since only a tiny number commented on the last entry.
First, it's experiences like these that explain why women often have little sympathy for you guys when you complain about things like prostate exams. As a whole, dudes have it a whole lot easier, and a lot of the time they are grossly unaware of that fact.* They don't seem to grok that women have vastly different medical experiences from their own. I've talked to a lot of guys, and many of them, especially the younger ones, have a kind of "suck it up and deal" attitude regarding gynecology.
I suppose the rationale (and I am guessing, here, because I've never understood it) is that women are used to having people futz around down there, jamming things into them, and therefore an exam comes as no great violation. I mean, clearly there's no difference between having your boyfriend put his fingers in your pussy, and having some potential nut case do it while you pay for the privilige.
It ain't so. Yes, while women have to endure it if we want to take care of ourselves, that doesn't mean it's any fun to be subjected to the mercies of someone who, for all you know, is secretly a rampaging pro-life homophobe who thinks all women should stay home and raise babies. Patients can lie about their histories. Guess what? Doctors can lie about their beliefs. They can have biases they aren't even aware of. Add the physical indignity of an exam to the blame and shaming that goes on in too many gynecologist's offices, and you begin to see why nine tenths of us fucking hate it with a jet-fueled passion, and the other tenth merely dislikes it.
I'm not saying you guys shouldn't complain, and I'm not saying women shouldn't have sympathy for you. We should all be willing to sympathize with one another over what is a truly near-universal experience: the shittiness of medicine.
What I am saying is that this explains why, when men pout because it's their turn on the table for a vasectomy or a testicular exam or a prostate exam or a battery of STD tests, we kind of shake our heads and mutter something that sounds suspiciously insincere. We've been dealing with this sort of crude, invasive crap for nearly as long as you guys have been jerking off. Just sayin'.
And second, on a larger scale, I sincerely hope these horror stories give you guys a good idea of why it pisses most women off when some men claim that the shitty parts of being female must be directly offset by the benefits of having tits and the potential for multiple orgasms.
Every time we go to a new doctor, and sometimes when we go to ones we've been seeing for years, we run the risk of having something like that happen to us. It's a very real possibility.
And let me tell you, bucko, I have yet to have the orgasm, multiple or otherwise, that is worth having complete strangers maul my nether parts while simultaneously implying that I'm barely qualified to operate them.
In addition to being treated either as sex objects, breeding machines, or invisible butlers; in addition to being pelted constantly by messages telling us that our bodies are inferior and that pleasing people other than ourselves, at the expense of ourselves, is paramount; in addition to the very real possibility of rape and stalking that we live with every day; in addition to all the other indignities our sick society foists upon us, we are also subjected to a medical profession that hates us and our bodies with a passion. That treats our normal states - pregnancy, menstruation, menopause - as pathological. Having tits and getting the occasional free drink out of 'em? Doesn't begin to touch that. You could pour all the free rum in the world down our throats, and it wouldn't take the edge off the insults we suffer nearly every day.
And just for the record? That precious prostate manly men protect with such zeal? Can give some guys multiple orgasms. The only thing we can do with our reproductive parts that you can't do with yours is deliver children.** Just so you know.
Well . . . there's double penetration. But since I've never tried it, I can't say whether it makes up for being subjected to gynecological incompetence.
I think not.
Up next: Stay tuned for an actual account of my misadventures with bad doctors, including the story of why Planned Parenthood can suck my analytical left nut. You've shared your stories, and now it's my turn. I feel I must do this for the good of the republic.
And that'll be the last I post on this subject for a while, I promise.
* Please understand that I hold my readers in the highest respect, and I know full well that 90% of you are already aware of what I'm saying here. This is for the other 10%.
** Which makes the whole thing a pretty raw deal if you don't want children, don't have multiple orgasms, and can't even drink the vodka your tits can buy you. Like, say, me.
I should have realized the last entry would turn into a huge dump for bad gynecologist stories. I'm glad to have them all in one place where I can get to them easily, should my vitriol on the subject start to wane.
I've already replied individually to most of the comments, but I'd like to say again to the lot of you that I am so incredibly sorry that shit happened to you. Some of it is just . . . well, as spacezombie says, good old-fashioned nightmare fuel. I honestly feel like I should be awarding some sort of prizes to you poor, maligned fuckers.
Short of bludgeoning the bastards who do this shit to death with a sock full of frozen rats and then lighting their corpses on fire, those of us who have been wronged often have little recourse. You can file a complaint with the medical licensing board of your state, but that often comes to very little, as it often takes a truly grievous offense involving bodily harm to force them to take action. However, I believe every little bit counts, and it's worth making the effort.
You can also go to Rate MDs, a site that lets you give your doctor a good or bad review. I've already lit into the jizzrags who've screwed me over and complimented the ones who have not, and you should do the same. The more people who contribute to public databases like this, the more complete they will become.
It's not as good as seeing them choked to death by a hissing swarm of flying attack eels fired from the asses of twin Japanese schoolgirls, but, then, that could be said of most things.
Failing that, there's always mail-order dog turds.
I would also like to say to those who have innocently wandered into the conversation that most doctors are not like the bad ones, and that our collective moan of misery over our shared bad experiences is not to be taken as carte blanche to avoid medical care altogether. It is entirely possible to hire a professional to help one look after one's health without being subjected to nightmarish torment. I realize that is not how it sounds around here the past few days, but it's nevertheless true.
I encourage even the most shy violets among you to go to the girly-doc every couple of years or so, if only so you can get your clean-pussy certification.
I'm gonna get mine!
Thank you, laturner. As I said, once I have a clean bill of health, I'm sorely tempted to display it in my front window like a liquor license.
My point overall being not that you should avoid gynecology, but that you should simply refuse to take any shit from your doctors. They work for you, not the other way around. Never forget that, even if they seem to have a hard time processing the concept.
I'd also like to say a couple of things to the men reading. If there are men reading, since only a tiny number commented on the last entry.
First, it's experiences like these that explain why women often have little sympathy for you guys when you complain about things like prostate exams. As a whole, dudes have it a whole lot easier, and a lot of the time they are grossly unaware of that fact.* They don't seem to grok that women have vastly different medical experiences from their own. I've talked to a lot of guys, and many of them, especially the younger ones, have a kind of "suck it up and deal" attitude regarding gynecology.
I suppose the rationale (and I am guessing, here, because I've never understood it) is that women are used to having people futz around down there, jamming things into them, and therefore an exam comes as no great violation. I mean, clearly there's no difference between having your boyfriend put his fingers in your pussy, and having some potential nut case do it while you pay for the privilige.
It ain't so. Yes, while women have to endure it if we want to take care of ourselves, that doesn't mean it's any fun to be subjected to the mercies of someone who, for all you know, is secretly a rampaging pro-life homophobe who thinks all women should stay home and raise babies. Patients can lie about their histories. Guess what? Doctors can lie about their beliefs. They can have biases they aren't even aware of. Add the physical indignity of an exam to the blame and shaming that goes on in too many gynecologist's offices, and you begin to see why nine tenths of us fucking hate it with a jet-fueled passion, and the other tenth merely dislikes it.
I'm not saying you guys shouldn't complain, and I'm not saying women shouldn't have sympathy for you. We should all be willing to sympathize with one another over what is a truly near-universal experience: the shittiness of medicine.
What I am saying is that this explains why, when men pout because it's their turn on the table for a vasectomy or a testicular exam or a prostate exam or a battery of STD tests, we kind of shake our heads and mutter something that sounds suspiciously insincere. We've been dealing with this sort of crude, invasive crap for nearly as long as you guys have been jerking off. Just sayin'.
And second, on a larger scale, I sincerely hope these horror stories give you guys a good idea of why it pisses most women off when some men claim that the shitty parts of being female must be directly offset by the benefits of having tits and the potential for multiple orgasms.
Every time we go to a new doctor, and sometimes when we go to ones we've been seeing for years, we run the risk of having something like that happen to us. It's a very real possibility.
And let me tell you, bucko, I have yet to have the orgasm, multiple or otherwise, that is worth having complete strangers maul my nether parts while simultaneously implying that I'm barely qualified to operate them.
In addition to being treated either as sex objects, breeding machines, or invisible butlers; in addition to being pelted constantly by messages telling us that our bodies are inferior and that pleasing people other than ourselves, at the expense of ourselves, is paramount; in addition to the very real possibility of rape and stalking that we live with every day; in addition to all the other indignities our sick society foists upon us, we are also subjected to a medical profession that hates us and our bodies with a passion. That treats our normal states - pregnancy, menstruation, menopause - as pathological. Having tits and getting the occasional free drink out of 'em? Doesn't begin to touch that. You could pour all the free rum in the world down our throats, and it wouldn't take the edge off the insults we suffer nearly every day.
And just for the record? That precious prostate manly men protect with such zeal? Can give some guys multiple orgasms. The only thing we can do with our reproductive parts that you can't do with yours is deliver children.** Just so you know.
Well . . . there's double penetration. But since I've never tried it, I can't say whether it makes up for being subjected to gynecological incompetence.
I think not.
Up next: Stay tuned for an actual account of my misadventures with bad doctors, including the story of why Planned Parenthood can suck my analytical left nut. You've shared your stories, and now it's my turn. I feel I must do this for the good of the republic.
And that'll be the last I post on this subject for a while, I promise.
* Please understand that I hold my readers in the highest respect, and I know full well that 90% of you are already aware of what I'm saying here. This is for the other 10%.
** Which makes the whole thing a pretty raw deal if you don't want children, don't have multiple orgasms, and can't even drink the vodka your tits can buy you. Like, say, me.