Music Business
I'm eating Dove ice cream, by which I mean it's ice cream with Dove chocolate, not actual chunks of bird. Though the cherry flavoring and reddish blobs are rather suggestive. It's yummy.
Anyway. Music.
I have obtained the new H.I.M. album and am unduly annoyed by the fact that it's not as good as I wanted it to be. It's not bad, exactly, but it's not nearly as good as Dark Light. Plus, this one has a comparatively stupid cover. Every other H.I.M. album has had really great graphic design. This one . . . not so much.
I'm also annoyed by the fact that the new Nightwish is . . . well, I'm annoyed it's not a Tarot album, frankly. Which is stupid, because Tarot and Nightwish are two completely different animals, the shared presence of Marco Hietala in all his fork-bearded lycanthropic cuteness notwithstanding.
I can't help it, though. The last Tarot album was so fucking awesome, and the new Nightwish album is so relentlessly . . . just . . . not a Tarot album.
Like when you have a craving for chocolate cake, but go to the ice cream parlor instead. It's rather stupid, under those circumstances, to bitch that the ice cream doesn't taste like cake - it's fucking ice cream, okay? And if you wanted cake, you should have gone to the fucking bakery. But that doesn't change the fact that if what you really, really want is chocolate cake, you're fucked.
I'm afraid I was wanting more cake, and I got ice cream, and while it's good ice cream, with chunks of dead bird, it's still not pushing the cake button. Yeah, Marco sings on a couple of the tracks, and you can hear more of his influence on this album than on previous releases, but their new singer, while quite gifted and obviously less difficult to work with than Tarja, is simply not quite the singer Tarja was. Why did they not hire Simone Simons away from Epica? Anyone? Answer me that.*
Then again, with the new singer, maybe their lyrics will take a turn for the less stupid. Come on. Songs about Disney movies? I realize that was several albums back, but the fact that it happened AT ALL should be cause for concern. Jesus Christ. When you have a genuinely gifted lyricist like Marco available, make use of him, for fuck's sake.
Incidentally, while I'm talking about bands that are fucking awesome, you remember a couple of months back when Sargon got to interview Roy freaking Khan from Kamelot? Yes?
Well, the interview is up on the Crypt, so enjoy.
Kamelot are still unbelievably fucking cool, just FYI, and you should still buy their albums.
If I can violently downshift into a different musical gear, thank you guys for all the help finding versions of Hallelujah. A bunch of you sent stuff, or uploaded it, so I now have virtually every version of the thing I could possibly want, including an embarrassingly bad version by Bono of U2.**
My favorite remains that live cut of K. D. Lang's, but the studio version is almost as good, and the Jeff Buckley version is very pretty. I have to confess that the original Cohen leaves me cold, and if I'd heard that version first, I would never have given the song a second listen. I'm glad it didn't happen that way.
In the comments to my original entry, shadowkeeper delurked (Hi!) to link me to this site, which has quite a few versions archived, including, I believe, the Bono version, which you should really listen to if only because my misery wants company. The live version in the YouTube video wasn't available, but I've uploaded it to YouSendIt here, if you want to grab it before the link goes down.
And forgive me, all, for leaping to Christian conclusions when faced with Old Testament symbolism. Leonard Cohen is Jewish, or was at the time of that writing, or at some point after it, or whatever - I understand there's debate on this point. So the symbolism is Jewish. Except for the "holy dove" line, which, though couched in a nice OT-style sexual metaphor, I think may be a bit New-Testamental. Not that I'm really all that interested in splitting patriarchal, monotheistic hairs, here. At any rate, mea culpa. I've just been smacked with the OT often enough that I no longer associate it with nice Jewish folks, but with douche-swilling fundie assholes who want to make sure I can't legally marry Angelina Jolie or vacuum miniature Republicans*** out of my rusty old uterus.
My bad.
* If any of you actually know who I am talking about and give a shit, let me know. Fuck, if you enjoy listening to any of the bands I'm talking about, sing out. I always want to know who's got similar taste in metal.
** I am dead serious when I say that this version needed to be shot deader than Old Yeller. I don't have a hate-on for Bono - well, okay, I think he's a douchenozzle - but this song was almost enough to make me repudiate the love I have for Mysterious Ways. He has been known to sing well, but believe me when I say that this was not one of those times.
*** I only support aborting asshole Republicans, which isn't all of them, but I still wouldn't take any chances with my zygote. I'm actually registered Republican, and Sargon's an asshole. I think both are dominant traits. At best, our zygote would be heterozygous for Republican and/or asshole, which would do nothing for the gene pool. At worst, it would be homozygous for both, and I can't risk bringing another asshole Republican into the world for fear he might grow up to vote. Thank goodness wide-stanced dickface doesn't run in my family. That shit skips a generation, but it's fierce, and those fuckers go into politics and try to ruin the penis-loving for everyone.
Anyway. Music.
I have obtained the new H.I.M. album and am unduly annoyed by the fact that it's not as good as I wanted it to be. It's not bad, exactly, but it's not nearly as good as Dark Light. Plus, this one has a comparatively stupid cover. Every other H.I.M. album has had really great graphic design. This one . . . not so much.
I'm also annoyed by the fact that the new Nightwish is . . . well, I'm annoyed it's not a Tarot album, frankly. Which is stupid, because Tarot and Nightwish are two completely different animals, the shared presence of Marco Hietala in all his fork-bearded lycanthropic cuteness notwithstanding.
I can't help it, though. The last Tarot album was so fucking awesome, and the new Nightwish album is so relentlessly . . . just . . . not a Tarot album.
Like when you have a craving for chocolate cake, but go to the ice cream parlor instead. It's rather stupid, under those circumstances, to bitch that the ice cream doesn't taste like cake - it's fucking ice cream, okay? And if you wanted cake, you should have gone to the fucking bakery. But that doesn't change the fact that if what you really, really want is chocolate cake, you're fucked.
I'm afraid I was wanting more cake, and I got ice cream, and while it's good ice cream, with chunks of dead bird, it's still not pushing the cake button. Yeah, Marco sings on a couple of the tracks, and you can hear more of his influence on this album than on previous releases, but their new singer, while quite gifted and obviously less difficult to work with than Tarja, is simply not quite the singer Tarja was. Why did they not hire Simone Simons away from Epica? Anyone? Answer me that.*
Then again, with the new singer, maybe their lyrics will take a turn for the less stupid. Come on. Songs about Disney movies? I realize that was several albums back, but the fact that it happened AT ALL should be cause for concern. Jesus Christ. When you have a genuinely gifted lyricist like Marco available, make use of him, for fuck's sake.
Incidentally, while I'm talking about bands that are fucking awesome, you remember a couple of months back when Sargon got to interview Roy freaking Khan from Kamelot? Yes?
Well, the interview is up on the Crypt, so enjoy.
Kamelot are still unbelievably fucking cool, just FYI, and you should still buy their albums.
If I can violently downshift into a different musical gear, thank you guys for all the help finding versions of Hallelujah. A bunch of you sent stuff, or uploaded it, so I now have virtually every version of the thing I could possibly want, including an embarrassingly bad version by Bono of U2.**
My favorite remains that live cut of K. D. Lang's, but the studio version is almost as good, and the Jeff Buckley version is very pretty. I have to confess that the original Cohen leaves me cold, and if I'd heard that version first, I would never have given the song a second listen. I'm glad it didn't happen that way.
In the comments to my original entry, shadowkeeper delurked (Hi!) to link me to this site, which has quite a few versions archived, including, I believe, the Bono version, which you should really listen to if only because my misery wants company. The live version in the YouTube video wasn't available, but I've uploaded it to YouSendIt here, if you want to grab it before the link goes down.
And forgive me, all, for leaping to Christian conclusions when faced with Old Testament symbolism. Leonard Cohen is Jewish, or was at the time of that writing, or at some point after it, or whatever - I understand there's debate on this point. So the symbolism is Jewish. Except for the "holy dove" line, which, though couched in a nice OT-style sexual metaphor, I think may be a bit New-Testamental. Not that I'm really all that interested in splitting patriarchal, monotheistic hairs, here. At any rate, mea culpa. I've just been smacked with the OT often enough that I no longer associate it with nice Jewish folks, but with douche-swilling fundie assholes who want to make sure I can't legally marry Angelina Jolie or vacuum miniature Republicans*** out of my rusty old uterus.
My bad.
* If any of you actually know who I am talking about and give a shit, let me know. Fuck, if you enjoy listening to any of the bands I'm talking about, sing out. I always want to know who's got similar taste in metal.
** I am dead serious when I say that this version needed to be shot deader than Old Yeller. I don't have a hate-on for Bono - well, okay, I think he's a douchenozzle - but this song was almost enough to make me repudiate the love I have for Mysterious Ways. He has been known to sing well, but believe me when I say that this was not one of those times.
*** I only support aborting asshole Republicans, which isn't all of them, but I still wouldn't take any chances with my zygote. I'm actually registered Republican, and Sargon's an asshole. I think both are dominant traits. At best, our zygote would be heterozygous for Republican and/or asshole, which would do nothing for the gene pool. At worst, it would be homozygous for both, and I can't risk bringing another asshole Republican into the world for fear he might grow up to vote. Thank goodness wide-stanced dickface doesn't run in my family. That shit skips a generation, but it's fierce, and those fuckers go into politics and try to ruin the penis-loving for everyone.