Naamah's Swearing Workshop.
Today, my dulcet darlings, is the third anniversary of my arrival at Livejournal. And in celebration of three years of misanthropy, bitching, and piratical language, I have prepared a special treat for you.
You want me to write an entry about how to swear? Here it is, exhaustively. Everything I have learned on the subject in one obscenely long post.
I contemplated breaking it up into smaller pieces, but I'm not on anything resembling a regular schedule and was afraid the rest would fall by the wayside. So, without further ado, I present my manifesto.
What is swearing?
There are many kinds of swearing. I'm not an expert, I'm not a linguist, but off the top of my head I can think of several forms: expletives, imprecations, insults, threats, and window dressing. There is also profanity.
Expletives
Expletives are the things you yelp when hit in the thumb with a hammer. "Shit" and "fuck" are common. All that distinguishes those words from "darn" and "cripes" is the conversational value we place on them. For purposes of our discussion on how to swear, expletives are only tangentially relevant.
Imprecations
Imprecations, literally "cursing," is the calling down of evil on one's enemy. I believe that this category also encompasses helpful suggestions. For example, both "I hope your mother is crushed by a bus!" and "Go fuck a pigeon!" are imprecations.
Insults
Insults are the simplest category. A creative insult is among the most impressive weapons at your disposal. Weak insults are the limpest things you can attack with. Therefore, insults must be truly impressive to be worth much.
Points are awarded for accuracy if your intent is to truly harm the other person's feelings, but racial slurs, comments about an aspect of a person's appearance that is not something they can help, the general conformation of their body, and cracks about the other party's sexual orientation are almost always too weak to stand; avoid them. Sexual proclivities, outside of orientation, are fair game.
For example, it is weaker to call someone a blazing homo than it is to call them an ass-raping troglodyte. It's crude to call someone a "faggot" because there is nothing wrong with being one. Plenty of "fags" will rightly tell you so. Ass rapists, however, don't have such great P.R., nor do they deserve it.
Keep this division in mind.
Threats
Threats are another very basic class that must be handled carefully. As a wise woman once said, "A vague threat is no-one's friend."
Be specific.
"Shut that flapping cocktrap you call a mouth or I will beat you to death with a shovel."
"Quit staring at me, you fiddlefucking toothsucker, before I come over there and ram my dick into your eyesocket."
"I'm going to rip your head off and plant your spine in a flowerpot for my neighbor's cat to piss in."
You can all see how much stronger a good threat is than a simple schoolyard "Shut up or I'm gonna kick your ass."
Now, a word about deployment. Unless you really are willing to carry out your threats (never say never), it is an empty threat. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you are aware of it. But always keep in mind the three primary purposes of empty threats:
1) To demonstrate, by engaging in verbal violence, an illusory willingness to engage in physical violence, thus forcing them to back down.
2) To so shock your enemy with the nature of the threat itself, empty or not, that he/she/it backs down from the argument in alarm and confusion.
3) To so enrage or confuse your enemy that you have time to escape from the conversation.
Because it can backfire, I do not recommend #1, unless you are willing to proceed straight to #3.
Window Dressing
Window dressing is casual everyday swearing that peppers your conversation. Everything from the casual "fucking Sunday drivers!" to "I feel like a raped armadillo carcass" is window dressing. This kind of casual foul language will creep into your daily dialog whether you like it or not, once you start down the path of profanity. Some of us just have it naturally.
Profanity
Last of all, we have profanity. Profanity is, properly speaking, religious in origin. As such, it's not really the swearing that is offensive so much as intent, and when reduced to its basest form it's usually just another of these basic swearing forms dressed up with the name of someone's Sky Bully. It can be very effective, depending on the target, but it is best not to rely upon it too heavily except for comedy.
Your inner swearing style.
Aside from the basic divisions between the types of swearing, there are many ways of swearing. How you swear says more about you than any medical or school file ever will. How you swear is part and parcel with who you are. Discovering and exploiting your native swearing style, refining your natural gifts, is a valuable and worthy goal.
You have two basic choices.
The Articulate
The articulate approach is always popular with the intelligent. If you are the sort of person who tries not to use actual foul language, or if you especially enjoy confusing your enemies, then this is the style for you. It is quite possible to swear articulately and never use a single off-color word. Using this approach, it is also possible to swear copiously without anyone realizing it.
That said, when swearing at someone (not just near them) you should never be so purple that the meaning of your words is not immediately apparent, unless you are trying to get away with insulting someone to their face (in which case you had best watch your tone of voice and hope that they are very stupid - and that you are out of reach once the meaning filters through).
If you ever get someone to say "thank you" after you have insulted or threatened them in this fashion, you deserve a medal. Truly, you are a master.
The articulate blends easily with all classes of swearing, from imprecations to plain old profanity. It is, however, stultifying for anything other than short bouts.
Take this example, composed by my dear sister many years ago, and memorized by me for use in junior high:
"You intoxicate me with the exuberance of your vociferance, but your highly grammatical prognostications are a trifle too copious for your diminutive intellect."
I rest my sesquipedalian case.
The Scatological
One can be scatological, relying on sheer repulsiveness to create the desired effect. This is the weakest approach in many ways, but a gifted student can create quite an effect with a well-tailored phrase. I'm very, very fond of this approach myself, and when swearing at animals and small children I use it almost exclusively.
Imprecations, like insults and threats, can be primarily sexual in nature; biologically improbable and utterly repugnant sex acts are sure-fire crowd-pleasers. The traditional "Go fuck your mother!" falls into this category, as does "Suck my dick" and "Kiss my ass." But imprecations combine especially well with the scatological, as though they were made for one another.
A very simple yet repellent example: "Suck the shit off your granddad's fuckstick."
Choose your words carefully.
Another thing to consider is the sort of words you will be using. Even our "dirty" words come in classes, from "tinkle" to "cunt."
Words have a filth level, which is what exactly they are referring to (excrement, anatomy, biological functions), and they have a hostility level, which reflects how offensive those particular words are commonly held to be.
The least offensive "dirty" words have a low hostility index. Most childhood euphemisms fall into this area.
The most offensive words have a very high hostility index. "Cunt" and "fuck" are commonly held to be the most offensive words in common use.
A well-chosen word is jarring in just the right way, but it is possible for this to backfire. Some words are inherently funny, and you can't use them without losing momentum. "Turd," "fart," "poop," "willy," "boob," and the like are all words that are silly-sounding, usually juvenile. Use them carefully. They are not hostile words.
Words like "pussy" can be alternately affectionate or offensive, depending on context. Older or obsolete words, like "cunny" and "pizzle," are to be used with care. They make great spice, but be sure they are well-supported with both context and artistry.
Also, I realize that there is an ass/arse disagreement between UK and US English. Note to all parties: your word looks silly to people on the opposite side of that rift. Be aware of that when engaging in written verbal combat. What you think is proper is irrelevant. What your target will and will not laugh at is the important part. Plan carefully.
This is the same of non-profanity words. Choose even your non-profanity carefully for proper sound and texture. A good epithet or imprecation should roll right off the tongue. Excellent ones sizzle or leap. It should never bounce or hop. Rhythm is critical here, and a working understanding of poetry never hurt anyone who was trying to swear.
Word choice, and how you arrange them, is the single most decisive factor, and it is also the hardest to master.
It's possible to train yourself not to use any of the traditional dirty words at all.
A true sign of mastery is the ability to construct an original and even shocking tirade without resorting to the use of a single word that could not be printed in a newspaper. Not because there is anything wrong with "fuck," "cuntpuncher," or "assramming shitspike," but because we are conditioned from an early age to use those words preferentially.
Abandoning words like "cuntbreath" forces us to greater creativity and greater skill.
The role of swearing.
Swearing is a skill that requires a great deal of practice to refine, and somewhere along the line we have been taught to feel guilty about it. We are taught that it is rude, inappropriate, and, most damning, "not ladylike."
Of course it is rude. Even the most elegant swearing is still an assault. There are times when it is not appropriate, many of them. There are also times, though, that it is very appropriate. While I advocate avoiding verbal conflict wherever possible, and insist that people ought to know how to defend themselves or offend others without resorting to swearing, I also strongly believe that, since we are all driven to it at some point, we all ought to learn to do it well.
Part of the reason profanity isn't respected is because it is so often not creative or elegant at all. Let us be honest. A simple "fuck you" may be cathartic, but it is not going to impress anyone. It's crude, lowbrow, and quite obviously a last-ditch effort on the part of a person who is obviously losing the verbal confrontation.
A proper bout of swearing should leave people in awe. It's a last-ditch effort, because once you start it you have ended all possibility of useful dialogue, but if you are going to burn your conversational bridges you might as well send them up with more than a simple F-bomb.
Proper conversational demolitions, unlike the flaming napalm of screaming tantrums, requires rigid self-control; you must have your wits about you in order to properly access and string together all of the beautiful verbal blast caps at your disposal. You cannot do this if you are about to have a fit. Bring yourself under control, center yourself, and then launch your attack from a place of strength.
Swearing is not something you employ as a last-minute way to try to save face. It is how you end a conversation. Completely. Rarely, and I do not advise this, it is how you provoke someone into a fit of apoplectic rage so that they will escalate, embarrassing themselves and/or giving you an excuse for walking away. It's possible that they might die of an aneurysm.
If more people swore this way, deliberately and with inventiveness, it would be respected, instead of relegated to the linguistic ghetto reserved for drug dealers, pirates, prostitutes, villains, teenage punks, unfashionable minorities, and the Punisher.
There is no question about it being ladylike or unladylike at all.
Swearing is human. That is to say, it's neither ladylike nor manful, and is not solely within the province of either gender. It's communal property, and we must claim it as such, for as long as women are denied swearing, they are being denied their anger, and thus, part of their essential humanity.
It's a rite of passage. Think on it. Children in most middle-class families are relentlessly coached not to swear. It's an adult thing, a mysterious thing. Once a child is free to swear in front of its parents, that child is communicating as an adult.
It's seen as a responsibility like sex, driving, or voting, though no legal age is placed on the privilege. We are taught not to do it ever until we are mature enough to know when it is appropriate. Fair enough.
The trouble is that when that time comes, we aren't taught how to do it, or when it's appropriate.
A person, whether child, woman, or subordinate, who is not allowed to swear or who is censured for doing so, is a person being held in a position of inferiority, and often a person who is being denied not only the verbal expression of anger, but of the feelings of anger those words represent. This is unhealthy, unfair, and unwise.
The only remedy is learning to swear and then doing so.
Learning to swear, especially for many women, is like reclaiming a part of your psychic identity.
Actually, it's a lot like learning to enjoy sex. To swear properly, you have to be willing to make a lot of mistakes, maybe sound stupid, and possibly fuck up royally. You will more than likely get yelled at. Hearts may be broken, children traumatized, snobs offended, and morons panicked. God forbid your neighbors should hear you.
Just like dealing with sex, you have to be able to deal with your feelings. You can't swear if you are not comfortable with your anger. You can't have good sex if you aren't comfortable in yourself.
Swearing and politics.
It's obvious that much swearing relies upon the collective belief of the inherent dirtiness of the concepts behind its constituent words. Witness: the English language has very few affectionate words for the things we use as "dirty" words. We have either the clinical or the crude.
This has led to lots of folks "reclaiming" everything from racial epithets to words for body parts.
Where, then, does that put us? When we use the word "cunt," are we showing our disrespect for that part of the body? Are we contributing to anti-anal sentiment when we call someone an asshole? What about the use of "gay" as an adjective to refer not to orientation, but to quality?
This is a slippery slope. On the one hand you have people who think that being a fag is the worst thing ever, and who genuinely mean the word "fag" as a deadly insult. On the other you have folks who think that I should not be allowed to use the word "retarded" because it's cruel to the mentally challenged, or "lame," because it's ableist.
A lot of people won't use certain words because they feel that the idea behind them is not one that should be considered offensive. They feel that by using it that way they are perpetuating a negative stereotype and giving insult where none should be given. It's why I don't use "gay" as an insult and why I have stopped using racial epithets to the extent I am aware of when I am doing it (we all have to learn).
Nevertheless, I will argue that whether you perceive a word as offensive does not matter as much as whether the target perceives it as offensive. If you are truly seeking to bring someone down, you need to deal first from their frame of reference, then yours. It's fine if you want to morally abstain from certain words. It's also fine if you don't want to let being a feminist stop you from calling someone a cunt. I'm not saying it doesn't say something about you if you go about insulting people for things that are not actually bad things to be, it absolutely does. You should be prepared for this to alter the opinions people have of you. You should be prepared for it to make people very angry. And you should be prepared for the fact that this may cause people to stop listening to anything you have to say.
Don't expect anyone else to play by your rules, though. Just because you won't use a word, don't expect your opponent to refrain. And just because you are willing to call someone a stupid faggot, don't expect them to stand there and take it without defending themselves. Always be prepared to deal with the results when you choose to make an insult blunt and personal in that way. Crying "not fair" on the part of either party indicates an immediate and total forfeiture.
Using such words deliberately can be a great way to get under someone's skin. On the other, it's also a great way to make people discount you completely if they disagree with your ideology. Done poorly, it reveals you as nothing but a bully.
Everyone has to draw their own line in the sand on this.
The particulars of your own conscience I leave to you.
This is a broad subject, and I could go on at even greater length. I will, very shortly, be providing a post full of recent examples culled from my most vitriolic moments. (To that end, if you have any favorites, do let me know.)
However, I believe that the best way to learn is by doing, and so I encourage all of you to practice every day. You will soon see results; I've only been swearing seriously for about three years, and of that, I have only really devoted myself to it in the past year or so.
If you work at it, and work hard, you will never again be caught flat-footed in the checkout lane when some douchebagging pussyfart asks if he can squeak in ahead of you to pay for his adult diapers with a jar full of Moldavian pennies. Never again will you be at a loss for words when some subliterate, corner-pissing imbecile bangs on your door at nine in the morning to ask if you've found the Lord. No more will you scramble for words when some ape-felching shitnugget insists on ruining your dinner-and-a-movie date by carrying on a cell phone conversation in a crowded theater.
Swearing, like virtue, is its own reward.
You want me to write an entry about how to swear? Here it is, exhaustively. Everything I have learned on the subject in one obscenely long post.
I contemplated breaking it up into smaller pieces, but I'm not on anything resembling a regular schedule and was afraid the rest would fall by the wayside. So, without further ado, I present my manifesto.
What is swearing?
There are many kinds of swearing. I'm not an expert, I'm not a linguist, but off the top of my head I can think of several forms: expletives, imprecations, insults, threats, and window dressing. There is also profanity.
Expletives
Expletives are the things you yelp when hit in the thumb with a hammer. "Shit" and "fuck" are common. All that distinguishes those words from "darn" and "cripes" is the conversational value we place on them. For purposes of our discussion on how to swear, expletives are only tangentially relevant.
Imprecations
Imprecations, literally "cursing," is the calling down of evil on one's enemy. I believe that this category also encompasses helpful suggestions. For example, both "I hope your mother is crushed by a bus!" and "Go fuck a pigeon!" are imprecations.
Insults
Insults are the simplest category. A creative insult is among the most impressive weapons at your disposal. Weak insults are the limpest things you can attack with. Therefore, insults must be truly impressive to be worth much.
Points are awarded for accuracy if your intent is to truly harm the other person's feelings, but racial slurs, comments about an aspect of a person's appearance that is not something they can help, the general conformation of their body, and cracks about the other party's sexual orientation are almost always too weak to stand; avoid them. Sexual proclivities, outside of orientation, are fair game.
For example, it is weaker to call someone a blazing homo than it is to call them an ass-raping troglodyte. It's crude to call someone a "faggot" because there is nothing wrong with being one. Plenty of "fags" will rightly tell you so. Ass rapists, however, don't have such great P.R., nor do they deserve it.
Keep this division in mind.
Threats
Threats are another very basic class that must be handled carefully. As a wise woman once said, "A vague threat is no-one's friend."
Be specific.
"Shut that flapping cocktrap you call a mouth or I will beat you to death with a shovel."
"Quit staring at me, you fiddlefucking toothsucker, before I come over there and ram my dick into your eyesocket."
"I'm going to rip your head off and plant your spine in a flowerpot for my neighbor's cat to piss in."
You can all see how much stronger a good threat is than a simple schoolyard "Shut up or I'm gonna kick your ass."
Now, a word about deployment. Unless you really are willing to carry out your threats (never say never), it is an empty threat. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you are aware of it. But always keep in mind the three primary purposes of empty threats:
1) To demonstrate, by engaging in verbal violence, an illusory willingness to engage in physical violence, thus forcing them to back down.
2) To so shock your enemy with the nature of the threat itself, empty or not, that he/she/it backs down from the argument in alarm and confusion.
3) To so enrage or confuse your enemy that you have time to escape from the conversation.
Because it can backfire, I do not recommend #1, unless you are willing to proceed straight to #3.
Window Dressing
Window dressing is casual everyday swearing that peppers your conversation. Everything from the casual "fucking Sunday drivers!" to "I feel like a raped armadillo carcass" is window dressing. This kind of casual foul language will creep into your daily dialog whether you like it or not, once you start down the path of profanity. Some of us just have it naturally.
Profanity
Last of all, we have profanity. Profanity is, properly speaking, religious in origin. As such, it's not really the swearing that is offensive so much as intent, and when reduced to its basest form it's usually just another of these basic swearing forms dressed up with the name of someone's Sky Bully. It can be very effective, depending on the target, but it is best not to rely upon it too heavily except for comedy.
Your inner swearing style.
Aside from the basic divisions between the types of swearing, there are many ways of swearing. How you swear says more about you than any medical or school file ever will. How you swear is part and parcel with who you are. Discovering and exploiting your native swearing style, refining your natural gifts, is a valuable and worthy goal.
You have two basic choices.
The Articulate
The articulate approach is always popular with the intelligent. If you are the sort of person who tries not to use actual foul language, or if you especially enjoy confusing your enemies, then this is the style for you. It is quite possible to swear articulately and never use a single off-color word. Using this approach, it is also possible to swear copiously without anyone realizing it.
That said, when swearing at someone (not just near them) you should never be so purple that the meaning of your words is not immediately apparent, unless you are trying to get away with insulting someone to their face (in which case you had best watch your tone of voice and hope that they are very stupid - and that you are out of reach once the meaning filters through).
If you ever get someone to say "thank you" after you have insulted or threatened them in this fashion, you deserve a medal. Truly, you are a master.
The articulate blends easily with all classes of swearing, from imprecations to plain old profanity. It is, however, stultifying for anything other than short bouts.
Take this example, composed by my dear sister many years ago, and memorized by me for use in junior high:
"You intoxicate me with the exuberance of your vociferance, but your highly grammatical prognostications are a trifle too copious for your diminutive intellect."
I rest my sesquipedalian case.
The Scatological
One can be scatological, relying on sheer repulsiveness to create the desired effect. This is the weakest approach in many ways, but a gifted student can create quite an effect with a well-tailored phrase. I'm very, very fond of this approach myself, and when swearing at animals and small children I use it almost exclusively.
Imprecations, like insults and threats, can be primarily sexual in nature; biologically improbable and utterly repugnant sex acts are sure-fire crowd-pleasers. The traditional "Go fuck your mother!" falls into this category, as does "Suck my dick" and "Kiss my ass." But imprecations combine especially well with the scatological, as though they were made for one another.
A very simple yet repellent example: "Suck the shit off your granddad's fuckstick."
Choose your words carefully.
Another thing to consider is the sort of words you will be using. Even our "dirty" words come in classes, from "tinkle" to "cunt."
Words have a filth level, which is what exactly they are referring to (excrement, anatomy, biological functions), and they have a hostility level, which reflects how offensive those particular words are commonly held to be.
The least offensive "dirty" words have a low hostility index. Most childhood euphemisms fall into this area.
The most offensive words have a very high hostility index. "Cunt" and "fuck" are commonly held to be the most offensive words in common use.
A well-chosen word is jarring in just the right way, but it is possible for this to backfire. Some words are inherently funny, and you can't use them without losing momentum. "Turd," "fart," "poop," "willy," "boob," and the like are all words that are silly-sounding, usually juvenile. Use them carefully. They are not hostile words.
Words like "pussy" can be alternately affectionate or offensive, depending on context. Older or obsolete words, like "cunny" and "pizzle," are to be used with care. They make great spice, but be sure they are well-supported with both context and artistry.
Also, I realize that there is an ass/arse disagreement between UK and US English. Note to all parties: your word looks silly to people on the opposite side of that rift. Be aware of that when engaging in written verbal combat. What you think is proper is irrelevant. What your target will and will not laugh at is the important part. Plan carefully.
This is the same of non-profanity words. Choose even your non-profanity carefully for proper sound and texture. A good epithet or imprecation should roll right off the tongue. Excellent ones sizzle or leap. It should never bounce or hop. Rhythm is critical here, and a working understanding of poetry never hurt anyone who was trying to swear.
Word choice, and how you arrange them, is the single most decisive factor, and it is also the hardest to master.
It's possible to train yourself not to use any of the traditional dirty words at all.
A true sign of mastery is the ability to construct an original and even shocking tirade without resorting to the use of a single word that could not be printed in a newspaper. Not because there is anything wrong with "fuck," "cuntpuncher," or "assramming shitspike," but because we are conditioned from an early age to use those words preferentially.
Abandoning words like "cuntbreath" forces us to greater creativity and greater skill.
The role of swearing.
Swearing is a skill that requires a great deal of practice to refine, and somewhere along the line we have been taught to feel guilty about it. We are taught that it is rude, inappropriate, and, most damning, "not ladylike."
Of course it is rude. Even the most elegant swearing is still an assault. There are times when it is not appropriate, many of them. There are also times, though, that it is very appropriate. While I advocate avoiding verbal conflict wherever possible, and insist that people ought to know how to defend themselves or offend others without resorting to swearing, I also strongly believe that, since we are all driven to it at some point, we all ought to learn to do it well.
Part of the reason profanity isn't respected is because it is so often not creative or elegant at all. Let us be honest. A simple "fuck you" may be cathartic, but it is not going to impress anyone. It's crude, lowbrow, and quite obviously a last-ditch effort on the part of a person who is obviously losing the verbal confrontation.
A proper bout of swearing should leave people in awe. It's a last-ditch effort, because once you start it you have ended all possibility of useful dialogue, but if you are going to burn your conversational bridges you might as well send them up with more than a simple F-bomb.
Proper conversational demolitions, unlike the flaming napalm of screaming tantrums, requires rigid self-control; you must have your wits about you in order to properly access and string together all of the beautiful verbal blast caps at your disposal. You cannot do this if you are about to have a fit. Bring yourself under control, center yourself, and then launch your attack from a place of strength.
Swearing is not something you employ as a last-minute way to try to save face. It is how you end a conversation. Completely. Rarely, and I do not advise this, it is how you provoke someone into a fit of apoplectic rage so that they will escalate, embarrassing themselves and/or giving you an excuse for walking away. It's possible that they might die of an aneurysm.
If more people swore this way, deliberately and with inventiveness, it would be respected, instead of relegated to the linguistic ghetto reserved for drug dealers, pirates, prostitutes, villains, teenage punks, unfashionable minorities, and the Punisher.
There is no question about it being ladylike or unladylike at all.
Swearing is human. That is to say, it's neither ladylike nor manful, and is not solely within the province of either gender. It's communal property, and we must claim it as such, for as long as women are denied swearing, they are being denied their anger, and thus, part of their essential humanity.
It's a rite of passage. Think on it. Children in most middle-class families are relentlessly coached not to swear. It's an adult thing, a mysterious thing. Once a child is free to swear in front of its parents, that child is communicating as an adult.
It's seen as a responsibility like sex, driving, or voting, though no legal age is placed on the privilege. We are taught not to do it ever until we are mature enough to know when it is appropriate. Fair enough.
The trouble is that when that time comes, we aren't taught how to do it, or when it's appropriate.
A person, whether child, woman, or subordinate, who is not allowed to swear or who is censured for doing so, is a person being held in a position of inferiority, and often a person who is being denied not only the verbal expression of anger, but of the feelings of anger those words represent. This is unhealthy, unfair, and unwise.
The only remedy is learning to swear and then doing so.
Learning to swear, especially for many women, is like reclaiming a part of your psychic identity.
Actually, it's a lot like learning to enjoy sex. To swear properly, you have to be willing to make a lot of mistakes, maybe sound stupid, and possibly fuck up royally. You will more than likely get yelled at. Hearts may be broken, children traumatized, snobs offended, and morons panicked. God forbid your neighbors should hear you.
Just like dealing with sex, you have to be able to deal with your feelings. You can't swear if you are not comfortable with your anger. You can't have good sex if you aren't comfortable in yourself.
Swearing and politics.
It's obvious that much swearing relies upon the collective belief of the inherent dirtiness of the concepts behind its constituent words. Witness: the English language has very few affectionate words for the things we use as "dirty" words. We have either the clinical or the crude.
This has led to lots of folks "reclaiming" everything from racial epithets to words for body parts.
Where, then, does that put us? When we use the word "cunt," are we showing our disrespect for that part of the body? Are we contributing to anti-anal sentiment when we call someone an asshole? What about the use of "gay" as an adjective to refer not to orientation, but to quality?
This is a slippery slope. On the one hand you have people who think that being a fag is the worst thing ever, and who genuinely mean the word "fag" as a deadly insult. On the other you have folks who think that I should not be allowed to use the word "retarded" because it's cruel to the mentally challenged, or "lame," because it's ableist.
A lot of people won't use certain words because they feel that the idea behind them is not one that should be considered offensive. They feel that by using it that way they are perpetuating a negative stereotype and giving insult where none should be given. It's why I don't use "gay" as an insult and why I have stopped using racial epithets to the extent I am aware of when I am doing it (we all have to learn).
Nevertheless, I will argue that whether you perceive a word as offensive does not matter as much as whether the target perceives it as offensive. If you are truly seeking to bring someone down, you need to deal first from their frame of reference, then yours. It's fine if you want to morally abstain from certain words. It's also fine if you don't want to let being a feminist stop you from calling someone a cunt. I'm not saying it doesn't say something about you if you go about insulting people for things that are not actually bad things to be, it absolutely does. You should be prepared for this to alter the opinions people have of you. You should be prepared for it to make people very angry. And you should be prepared for the fact that this may cause people to stop listening to anything you have to say.
Don't expect anyone else to play by your rules, though. Just because you won't use a word, don't expect your opponent to refrain. And just because you are willing to call someone a stupid faggot, don't expect them to stand there and take it without defending themselves. Always be prepared to deal with the results when you choose to make an insult blunt and personal in that way. Crying "not fair" on the part of either party indicates an immediate and total forfeiture.
Using such words deliberately can be a great way to get under someone's skin. On the other, it's also a great way to make people discount you completely if they disagree with your ideology. Done poorly, it reveals you as nothing but a bully.
Everyone has to draw their own line in the sand on this.
The particulars of your own conscience I leave to you.
This is a broad subject, and I could go on at even greater length. I will, very shortly, be providing a post full of recent examples culled from my most vitriolic moments. (To that end, if you have any favorites, do let me know.)
However, I believe that the best way to learn is by doing, and so I encourage all of you to practice every day. You will soon see results; I've only been swearing seriously for about three years, and of that, I have only really devoted myself to it in the past year or so.
If you work at it, and work hard, you will never again be caught flat-footed in the checkout lane when some douchebagging pussyfart asks if he can squeak in ahead of you to pay for his adult diapers with a jar full of Moldavian pennies. Never again will you be at a loss for words when some subliterate, corner-pissing imbecile bangs on your door at nine in the morning to ask if you've found the Lord. No more will you scramble for words when some ape-felching shitnugget insists on ruining your dinner-and-a-movie date by carrying on a cell phone conversation in a crowded theater.
Swearing, like virtue, is its own reward.