Madam President . . . or is that MADMAN President?!
That's me getting sworn in as President of the OSFW*. The Millennial Squirrel**, borne by Goodman Brown, presides over the changing of the guard.
Note, please, that I am cringing, because I had NO FREAKING IDEA he was about to bring out the Millennial Squirrel, and before I had a chance to steel myself, I was looking into his beady-eyed, yellow-toothed little face.
Now before you all start congratulating me, note that nobody actually wants to be president. We usually elect people who don't show up to the meeting.
They elected me to my face. I was right there. So was the new vice president. When they elected Sargon president, they at least had the decency to wait until he left the room to pee. I just answered a tiebreaking trivia question wrong.
I've been vice president before, by the way. I liked it because I could change my title to "Vice Mistress," which is swell. I'd like that on my business cards.
At any rate, my duties consist of calling meetings to order, asking the ritual questions, remembering the ritual questions, and presiding over mud-wrestling to see who gets to read on occasions where (AHEM) anyone actually brings anything to read.
Gentles, it's an honor. You do realize you have elected a pornographer and known pervert, right?
Anyway, I plan on abusing my powers while I'm in office, so you'll all be relieved to know that not much has changed.
In other news, I will wrap up my latest painting project tomorrow, so there will be pictures next week. This one is long overdue, but once the intended recipient has hopefully decided it was worth the shamefully long wait, you may all feel free to agree with her, because that's when I can show it off.
Once it's done, I'll be working on stuff for myself until and unless someone asks me to do something for them. Expect to hear lots of art babbling as I prepare to knock the ever-loving shit out of this year.
I have to go, but not before I leave you with some random bits of detritus:
Awesome Spam Names of the Week:
Savanna Ransom
Beowulf Shepherd
Samson Sharpe
Rosy Slaughter
Lughaidh Beer
and
Victoria V. Day
Coming out of the LJ Closet:
sargon999 is exactly who you think it is.***
Quote of the day:
"Nothing is quite as alarming as unexpected taxidermy."
* Oklahoma Science Fiction Writers' Association. Or the Obdurate Seekers of the Faraway West.
** Sciurus carolinensis nitre nitre. Yes, he is a taxidermied gray squirrel bearing a rifle.
*** Think of this as my pre-movie disclaimer where I say that the views expressed in his journal do not reflect the views of Naamah Darling Inc. Unless your gates open the wrong fucking way or you are an insufferable twat, in which case, I totally agree with him.