Questions, Part the First
Y'all know how to pick 'em. Here's the first half of the questions from the other day. Remind me to do this more often, because it's a lot of fun.
From dulcimeoww: "What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and why?"
That may be the hardest question anyone asked me. I'm struck by any one of a hundred memories: my pine tree covered in monarch butterflies, the Grove of the Patriarchs at dawn, fresh snow after an ice storm covered the park across the street . . . I'm not sentimental, so I won't pick something like "Oh, lalalala, my lover's beautiful eyes!" or "The sunshine and unicorns on my freakin' wedding day!"
What moves me are the still, silent, beautiful moments that I share with no-one else, moments unique to me, often events or scenes that are part of nature, so that they are completely subjective, unique. And that's why they are beautiful. They're fleeting, and they never come again.
I have the nagging feeling that I'm repressing a memory of something really lovely that would fit this perfectly, but I can't recall it.
An astute alannarama wants to know if there would be no recriminations, ever, would I murder someone? And if so, who and why? No more than five people, too.
Oh, I think I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't really think about it. I'll be honest and admit that I'd prefer to use it as a "get out of jail free" card after snapping and offing someone in the heat of the moment; I don't know if I have the physical courage or the stomach to kill in cold blood, no matter how much some people might deserve it. Then there's the whole "suffering" angle. I'd prefer they live in misery, rather than die clean. And I'd probably prefer not to do it myself, which is a little cowardly, but at least I admit it. If I could just point a hitman at someone and say "go," I have my short list prepared.
I'm not saying who's on it, though. I still have hopes I might get my chance someday.
A very good question from eudaimon: "If you could insert yourself into any piece of fiction (movie, book, show, whatever), what would it be and why?"
Hell. That's a doozy. Most fictional universes are not places I would care to inhabit. I mean, the Buffyverse is awesome, but I don't think I want to live there. I'd probably like to live in Ahdrilankha, in Steven Brust's Dragaera. The universe of the Bruce Timm Justice League cartoons I would like. Sargon's fictional superhero setting. One of my own settings. Jacqueline Carey makes a profound case with her beautiful Terre d'Ange. All of those places are very cool, but they aren't overwhelmingly dark settings. Given my druthers, I'd want to live in a world where the rules worked for me, not against me and where, even if I fucked things up royally, I could at least be assured of my life reading well.
Evil mastermind speakerwiggin posits a horrible future: "If you could only keep one artistic skill (writing, painting, box making, etc...) which would you keep and why?"
Writing. With that, I can still enjoy the others vicariously.If I can tell stories, I can write about characters who can do anything I want to do, and it's fulfilling. Without my words, I'm nothing. I could never, never give it up.
Another horrible future is only as far away as the question put forth by sweeteepea, who is rarin' to know "If you were only allowed to have one BPAL for the rest of your life which one would you choose?"
That's a horrible question to contemplate, but it's at least easy! De Sade. It's the only smell that I don't think I could ever get tired of.
And lilearthquake writes the following: "Tell me of one (or maybe two or three, if you can't pick just one person) relationship that you've cultivated via livejournal that has been a great encouragement and (for lack of better word) blessing to you. Someone you're grateful to know, someone who's got your back, someone you really admire. Tell me what it is about that person that delights you and makes you just ADORE them."
That's a really hard question for a lot of reasons. I love all the people I read, and they're compelling to me. Some I feel more of a kinship with than others. Cutting out the people I know in real life cuts out several of the people closest to me, but it still leaves me with a ton of people I don't think I could do without.
The two people I'm thinking of are utterly solid friends, and as with everyone I adore, I don't feel like I'm worthy of their regard. But that's how it is with friends. We don't deserve them. That's why they bring out the best in us.
I won't name names, because I know one would be mortified, and most likely the other would be, as well. I will say that this pair are more like me than I had any right to expect, and yet wonderfully different enough to keep me on my toes, guessing. They're strong people, and they're both intelligent and creative. And I'm not giving odds on me being the most perverted of the bunch.
And I'll also say that even though she's not around Livejournal anymore (and I'm sort of worried about her), subverse's journal was one of the most deeply inspirational things I've ever had the privilige of reading. I understand a lot more about the nature of dominance, submission, and service than I did before.
Our best friends should deepen us, not just reflect ourselves back to us.
ewin asks a simple question that gives me glee: "Favorite spice?"
Ginger. Hands down. Works on meat, works in desserts, works in perfume, works in chocolate. What's not to love? Cinnamon comes a close second. It makes everything better. Except hamburgers or pickles or something. And it's hard to beat pepper. I love pepper of all kinds.
And here comes synysterkisses asking me to reveal my sordid secret: "What band (or genre of music) is your dirty little secret? Someone you like, but are embarassed to like?"
Crappy girl-pop. I loathe the artists, but the music is a lot of fun. Mandy Moore especially is my guilty go-to girl. Mostly because I want to bone her, but I like her music, too. Kylie Minogue. And I'm going to go to hell, but the more Rob Zombie goes away from his older harder stuff and into the "Satan's poledance" groove, the more I love it.
fioredelmale asks a fantastic question: "I also have a silly question for you: what do you think about Italy? I often ask this question to foreign people, the answers are mostly stereotype-ridden and I want to see if someone comes up with something different. I also like to find out what foreign people think about my country, I think this kind of exchange is interesting and stimulating, and not just about Italy but about cultural difference in general."
In all honestly, it's a developed, civilized country, so I don't imagine it as being that much different from things here. I imagine there is more difference between a small town and a big city in any given country than there is between a big city and a big city in two different countries. The sense of history that you have in a country that's been inhabited continuously for so many hundreds of years must be truly awe-inspiring, though, and I find it hard to believe that it would not have an effect on the population in general. The religious climate is probably different there as well, the demographics are different.
Also, things are smaller, closer together, in a country the size of Italy. I imagine you have more tourists, more people who don't speak the native language. It's probably much more multicultural in the sense of people you just meet on the street.
And I'm assuming - hoping, really - that the food is, in general, better. Just like the scenery.
I should have known flameelf would come up with one of the best questions. "If you could have one special 'enhancement' that would be totally organic and natural to your body, what would that be? (It does NOT have to be solely a female enhancement, and it can be an utterly new thing you've made up, like a new erogenous zone.)"
Oi. What I have in mind is way more than an enhancement. I fucking want to be able to shapechange at will. I'd love to be a guy, but I don't want to give up what I have, so . . . there you go.
But otherwise, you know what would be totally bad-ass? I want chameleon skin. With that, I could change color, give myself really neat tattoos or hide them, change my makeup at will, all of that fun stuff. Hair and eye color too, though, or it's a no-go.
I'd say big black wings, but that'd be hell on the ol' wardrobe.
I like wiccarowan's questions: "My question: When you fell in love with Sargon, was it like a lightning-strike or did it sneak up on you til you thought 'yeah, he's the one'?" and "Not actually a meme-type question, more a general query this, but have you ever tried BPAL Sea of Glass?"
It was . . . odd. An odd moment. I met him at an SCA event when I was 13. I saw him from behind. His hair was so long and so richly red, and I said to myself "I don't care who that hair belongs to, I love him and I have to have him."
So I was interested right away, but I was so shy I was too scared to talk to him. I stalked him around the event for a while, saw him with another girl who was braiding his hair, assumed he had a girlfriend (he didn't), then went upstairs with my friend and cried and threw a hissyfit about how I would never find anyone who would love me. And when I came downstairs, he was there, and we talked for a while. I liked him right off, but I didn't give him my number. I kicked myself for that for weeks. And I never forgot him. Thought about him a lot.
Over the next six months, I got over a lot of my fear (I got laid). When he turned up at a convention I went to, I nerved myself up to go talk to him, and we spent the next two days inseparable. And we've been together ever since. I didn't know what hit me until much later. Lightning? No. It was like a steamroller. I never had a chance. Neither did he.
As for Sea of Glass, I thought I had tried it, but my notes inform me that I have not. I must be thinking House of Mirrors. Huh.
I love pixxelpuss for very NSFW reasons. Anyway, she goes for five, and five I'll do:
1) If you could/had to be a werewolf, vampire, witch, ghost, or zombie, which would you choose?
Jesus. (As an expletive, not a choice.) If I have to go with the usual battery of powers, not the ones I have assigned in my own cosmology, I'd pick witch. I'm assuming that spellcasting would actually work. If allowed to pick the rules I'd operate under, it'd be my own universe, and I'd probably be a vampire.
No, actually. I'd still be a witch. Because I could acquire vampirism, or use witchcraft to become a wolf anyway. So: witch. Defnintely.
2) What is your favorite type of porn to write? To watch/read?
Hard, hard, hard. Uhh. The question, I mean.
My favorite to write is porn where the characters care for each other, are mad at each other, and they get a little forceful. It's not exactly bondage, it's not exactly romance, it's just a little violent. It's all about character, when I'm writing. I can't say "I love writing bondage ass porn" because there are times when, due to character, the most vanilla scene is hotter than the surface of the sun. And there are times when, due to character, even bondage ass porn isn't hot at all. I know you know what I mean.
To watch? Tough. Umm. Anything where the chick looks like she's having a good time. Female ejaculation is the bomb. Spanking porn is great, if you can find the kind that doesn't suck. I guess the answer is "good porn."
To read? It would ideally include any or all of the following: swashbuckling, fantasy, bondage. I get bored by modern stuff pretty quickly unless it has some serious kink or involves someone I know.
3) If you could have a pet of any kind of animal, domestic, exotic, mythical, etc., what would it be?
Griffin. Hell yes.
I'd say I'd like a dragon, but I don't think I'm up to it. What the hell do you feed a dragon, anyway? And add firebreathing to the whole size issue, it becomes a big, fat mess.
4) If you could fuck someone from M*A*S*H, who would it be?
I . . . that's so bent. Hawkeye? I don't know! (It's been years and years since I saw the show.)
Starbuck should be retroactively digitized into that show so I can pick her. Yeah.
5) Is lactation interesting, miraculous, or icky?
It's like a lot of other bodily functions. It can be just about anything, up to and including neat, gross, amazing, sexy, and hilarious. Mostly, I just think it's cool. I'm not at all opposed to it happening in public, so long as it's a place where both babies and snacking are considered polite. It doesn't gross me out, and I confess I don't understand what it is that bothers other people about it so much. Unless we're talking about people cooking with their breast milk and then not mentioning this to the people eating the food. I mean, I'd eat it if they told me what was in there, but I'd sure as hell want to know I was doing so.
I'm afraid of swamp_dragon, for remembering this. Which I remembered too, but still. "How (and why) did you discover that thing about metal vibrators and cat's heads making a funny noise?"
Sargon and I were playing with an implement fresh out of the shipping package, seeing if the batteries worked. Tazendra, who'd come up to look at the box and maybe lay in it, was suddenly VERY KEEN on seeing what Sargon had in his hand. She sniffed it, wanted to rub her face on it, so he turned it on and pressed it against her head. You have NEVER seen a cat so offended.
I think wizwom speaks for all of us when he asks "So, how did you get started writing porn?"
I feel like this should be a really long answer, but it's not. It started simple: writing down brief fantasy-type short stories and Penthouse Letters style imaginary escapades for Sargon, when we had a long-distance relationship.
Holy crap.
I've been writing porn since I was 14.
The following question is brought to you by bifemmefatale who knows how to make 'em tough! "You're on death row and being served your last meal. What do you want to eat? Your prison happens to have an excellent chef well-versed in all cuisines."
A huge cheeseburger with everything on it, onion rings, and nuclear-hot apple pie with one scoop of vanilla ice cream. Frosty cold Coke. I'm the most boring person on Earth, I am sure, but I love American diner food.
frostedblossom wants to know: "Childfree/Childless vs. Childed legislation: what do you think of it, and how would you change it?" or "A subject/class(es) in school you absolutely loathed."
I concede that parents do need special consideration from time to time to take care of their kids, and I think we ought to cut them some slack.
That said, all employees should have the same access to time off and the same priority when bidding on weekday-only schedules or on holidays off. There are tons of childfree/childless people willing to take shitty shifts. Not all of us should be forced to if it comes down to a choice between someone with children and someone without.
I think that the government should extend more medical services to people without children, who fall into a nasty social-services gap. "Well-woman" care is easy enough to get, but non-gynecological care can be very difficult to obtain. Men are completely out of luck.
Without question it should be as easy to obtain sterilization as it is to obtain prenatal care, and illegal to deny it to anyone based on parental status.
I think it should be legal to establish adults-only residential areas, especially apartments, and in the private sector, more restaurants and theaters that did not admit children would be welcome.
I'm generally against legislation of any kind - laws are bullshit. Mostly, people ought to just pull their heads out of their asses and stop using their children as a way to get what they want. It's shameful, and it makes those of us without kids annoyed, resentful, and less likely to oblige on the occasions when a parent really does need something. Sadly, you can't pass a law that prevent people from crying "wolf."
As for school, I loathed math of all kinds. I failed algebra twice. I still hate math, and am proud of myself for knowing long division. I'm not stupid, not at all, but I'm terrible at anything that involves numbers.
the_lizard_rat asks a pointed question. Actually, it's sort of soft and squishy. "My question: You're beautiful enough to definitely pose for Playboy. So why not send them a few photos of yourself?"
I loathe Playboy, for one. Their centerfolds look the same now as they did 20 years ago, and they're still lame. Too perfect, too airbrushed. It's bullshit, and it doesn't flatter either the models or the consumer. It's insulting to everyone's intelligence. On the rare occasion when they do a celebrity layout, it's always the same: she's naked, sure, but she's also either sweaty-looking or fucking WET, like in a shower or a pool or something, and that's not a look I like. And it's usually black and white.
I'm not saying they don't feature some lovely women, or have good photographers, or produce some good-looking pictorials. They do. But overall, I just don't care for it.
Second, and I know I've said this before but I'll say it again until it sinks in, you lot only see the really good pictures in which I don't look like saggy, spotty hell. Most magazines are not going to be interested in me. I'm older than they want, shorter, heavier.
My face is more than pretty enough. The rest of me is too real to be ground up for the idealized artificial crap that skin mags peddle. And you know? I'm fine with that. Because I would hate to be in the same league, even tangentially, with silicone bimbos who lie about their weight.
Do they still put those little info sheets in the centerfold, where they get to fill it out themselves so you can see how fucking stupid they are? Can you even IMAGINE what I would say on one of those? I can't. My idea of a perfect date? My turn-ons? My life goals? What the fuck would I say to that shit? Ugh. It's so high school yearbook.
My best bet would be an art shoot with a good erotica photographer like Heather Corinna or something. And I'd be more than happy to do exactly that if I knew of anyone in my area who did that sort of thing well.
Leave it to marccarlson to ask: "Why?"
To see if I could, really. And as it turns out, mostly, I do okay.
That's part one, and I hopefully coded everyone's usernames properly. Another entry is coming later if I have time, and then the rest of the questions tomorrow.
From dulcimeoww: "What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and why?"
That may be the hardest question anyone asked me. I'm struck by any one of a hundred memories: my pine tree covered in monarch butterflies, the Grove of the Patriarchs at dawn, fresh snow after an ice storm covered the park across the street . . . I'm not sentimental, so I won't pick something like "Oh, lalalala, my lover's beautiful eyes!" or "The sunshine and unicorns on my freakin' wedding day!"
What moves me are the still, silent, beautiful moments that I share with no-one else, moments unique to me, often events or scenes that are part of nature, so that they are completely subjective, unique. And that's why they are beautiful. They're fleeting, and they never come again.
I have the nagging feeling that I'm repressing a memory of something really lovely that would fit this perfectly, but I can't recall it.
An astute alannarama wants to know if there would be no recriminations, ever, would I murder someone? And if so, who and why? No more than five people, too.
Oh, I think I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't really think about it. I'll be honest and admit that I'd prefer to use it as a "get out of jail free" card after snapping and offing someone in the heat of the moment; I don't know if I have the physical courage or the stomach to kill in cold blood, no matter how much some people might deserve it. Then there's the whole "suffering" angle. I'd prefer they live in misery, rather than die clean. And I'd probably prefer not to do it myself, which is a little cowardly, but at least I admit it. If I could just point a hitman at someone and say "go," I have my short list prepared.
I'm not saying who's on it, though. I still have hopes I might get my chance someday.
A very good question from eudaimon: "If you could insert yourself into any piece of fiction (movie, book, show, whatever), what would it be and why?"
Hell. That's a doozy. Most fictional universes are not places I would care to inhabit. I mean, the Buffyverse is awesome, but I don't think I want to live there. I'd probably like to live in Ahdrilankha, in Steven Brust's Dragaera. The universe of the Bruce Timm Justice League cartoons I would like. Sargon's fictional superhero setting. One of my own settings. Jacqueline Carey makes a profound case with her beautiful Terre d'Ange. All of those places are very cool, but they aren't overwhelmingly dark settings. Given my druthers, I'd want to live in a world where the rules worked for me, not against me and where, even if I fucked things up royally, I could at least be assured of my life reading well.
Evil mastermind speakerwiggin posits a horrible future: "If you could only keep one artistic skill (writing, painting, box making, etc...) which would you keep and why?"
Writing. With that, I can still enjoy the others vicariously.If I can tell stories, I can write about characters who can do anything I want to do, and it's fulfilling. Without my words, I'm nothing. I could never, never give it up.
Another horrible future is only as far away as the question put forth by sweeteepea, who is rarin' to know "If you were only allowed to have one BPAL for the rest of your life which one would you choose?"
That's a horrible question to contemplate, but it's at least easy! De Sade. It's the only smell that I don't think I could ever get tired of.
And lilearthquake writes the following: "Tell me of one (or maybe two or three, if you can't pick just one person) relationship that you've cultivated via livejournal that has been a great encouragement and (for lack of better word) blessing to you. Someone you're grateful to know, someone who's got your back, someone you really admire. Tell me what it is about that person that delights you and makes you just ADORE them."
That's a really hard question for a lot of reasons. I love all the people I read, and they're compelling to me. Some I feel more of a kinship with than others. Cutting out the people I know in real life cuts out several of the people closest to me, but it still leaves me with a ton of people I don't think I could do without.
The two people I'm thinking of are utterly solid friends, and as with everyone I adore, I don't feel like I'm worthy of their regard. But that's how it is with friends. We don't deserve them. That's why they bring out the best in us.
I won't name names, because I know one would be mortified, and most likely the other would be, as well. I will say that this pair are more like me than I had any right to expect, and yet wonderfully different enough to keep me on my toes, guessing. They're strong people, and they're both intelligent and creative. And I'm not giving odds on me being the most perverted of the bunch.
And I'll also say that even though she's not around Livejournal anymore (and I'm sort of worried about her), subverse's journal was one of the most deeply inspirational things I've ever had the privilige of reading. I understand a lot more about the nature of dominance, submission, and service than I did before.
Our best friends should deepen us, not just reflect ourselves back to us.
ewin asks a simple question that gives me glee: "Favorite spice?"
Ginger. Hands down. Works on meat, works in desserts, works in perfume, works in chocolate. What's not to love? Cinnamon comes a close second. It makes everything better. Except hamburgers or pickles or something. And it's hard to beat pepper. I love pepper of all kinds.
And here comes synysterkisses asking me to reveal my sordid secret: "What band (or genre of music) is your dirty little secret? Someone you like, but are embarassed to like?"
Crappy girl-pop. I loathe the artists, but the music is a lot of fun. Mandy Moore especially is my guilty go-to girl. Mostly because I want to bone her, but I like her music, too. Kylie Minogue. And I'm going to go to hell, but the more Rob Zombie goes away from his older harder stuff and into the "Satan's poledance" groove, the more I love it.
fioredelmale asks a fantastic question: "I also have a silly question for you: what do you think about Italy? I often ask this question to foreign people, the answers are mostly stereotype-ridden and I want to see if someone comes up with something different. I also like to find out what foreign people think about my country, I think this kind of exchange is interesting and stimulating, and not just about Italy but about cultural difference in general."
In all honestly, it's a developed, civilized country, so I don't imagine it as being that much different from things here. I imagine there is more difference between a small town and a big city in any given country than there is between a big city and a big city in two different countries. The sense of history that you have in a country that's been inhabited continuously for so many hundreds of years must be truly awe-inspiring, though, and I find it hard to believe that it would not have an effect on the population in general. The religious climate is probably different there as well, the demographics are different.
Also, things are smaller, closer together, in a country the size of Italy. I imagine you have more tourists, more people who don't speak the native language. It's probably much more multicultural in the sense of people you just meet on the street.
And I'm assuming - hoping, really - that the food is, in general, better. Just like the scenery.
I should have known flameelf would come up with one of the best questions. "If you could have one special 'enhancement' that would be totally organic and natural to your body, what would that be? (It does NOT have to be solely a female enhancement, and it can be an utterly new thing you've made up, like a new erogenous zone.)"
Oi. What I have in mind is way more than an enhancement. I fucking want to be able to shapechange at will. I'd love to be a guy, but I don't want to give up what I have, so . . . there you go.
But otherwise, you know what would be totally bad-ass? I want chameleon skin. With that, I could change color, give myself really neat tattoos or hide them, change my makeup at will, all of that fun stuff. Hair and eye color too, though, or it's a no-go.
I'd say big black wings, but that'd be hell on the ol' wardrobe.
I like wiccarowan's questions: "My question: When you fell in love with Sargon, was it like a lightning-strike or did it sneak up on you til you thought 'yeah, he's the one'?" and "Not actually a meme-type question, more a general query this, but have you ever tried BPAL Sea of Glass?"
It was . . . odd. An odd moment. I met him at an SCA event when I was 13. I saw him from behind. His hair was so long and so richly red, and I said to myself "I don't care who that hair belongs to, I love him and I have to have him."
So I was interested right away, but I was so shy I was too scared to talk to him. I stalked him around the event for a while, saw him with another girl who was braiding his hair, assumed he had a girlfriend (he didn't), then went upstairs with my friend and cried and threw a hissyfit about how I would never find anyone who would love me. And when I came downstairs, he was there, and we talked for a while. I liked him right off, but I didn't give him my number. I kicked myself for that for weeks. And I never forgot him. Thought about him a lot.
Over the next six months, I got over a lot of my fear (I got laid). When he turned up at a convention I went to, I nerved myself up to go talk to him, and we spent the next two days inseparable. And we've been together ever since. I didn't know what hit me until much later. Lightning? No. It was like a steamroller. I never had a chance. Neither did he.
As for Sea of Glass, I thought I had tried it, but my notes inform me that I have not. I must be thinking House of Mirrors. Huh.
I love pixxelpuss for very NSFW reasons. Anyway, she goes for five, and five I'll do:
1) If you could/had to be a werewolf, vampire, witch, ghost, or zombie, which would you choose?
Jesus. (As an expletive, not a choice.) If I have to go with the usual battery of powers, not the ones I have assigned in my own cosmology, I'd pick witch. I'm assuming that spellcasting would actually work. If allowed to pick the rules I'd operate under, it'd be my own universe, and I'd probably be a vampire.
No, actually. I'd still be a witch. Because I could acquire vampirism, or use witchcraft to become a wolf anyway. So: witch. Defnintely.
2) What is your favorite type of porn to write? To watch/read?
Hard, hard, hard. Uhh. The question, I mean.
My favorite to write is porn where the characters care for each other, are mad at each other, and they get a little forceful. It's not exactly bondage, it's not exactly romance, it's just a little violent. It's all about character, when I'm writing. I can't say "I love writing bondage ass porn" because there are times when, due to character, the most vanilla scene is hotter than the surface of the sun. And there are times when, due to character, even bondage ass porn isn't hot at all. I know you know what I mean.
To watch? Tough. Umm. Anything where the chick looks like she's having a good time. Female ejaculation is the bomb. Spanking porn is great, if you can find the kind that doesn't suck. I guess the answer is "good porn."
To read? It would ideally include any or all of the following: swashbuckling, fantasy, bondage. I get bored by modern stuff pretty quickly unless it has some serious kink or involves someone I know.
3) If you could have a pet of any kind of animal, domestic, exotic, mythical, etc., what would it be?
Griffin. Hell yes.
I'd say I'd like a dragon, but I don't think I'm up to it. What the hell do you feed a dragon, anyway? And add firebreathing to the whole size issue, it becomes a big, fat mess.
4) If you could fuck someone from M*A*S*H, who would it be?
I . . . that's so bent. Hawkeye? I don't know! (It's been years and years since I saw the show.)
Starbuck should be retroactively digitized into that show so I can pick her. Yeah.
5) Is lactation interesting, miraculous, or icky?
It's like a lot of other bodily functions. It can be just about anything, up to and including neat, gross, amazing, sexy, and hilarious. Mostly, I just think it's cool. I'm not at all opposed to it happening in public, so long as it's a place where both babies and snacking are considered polite. It doesn't gross me out, and I confess I don't understand what it is that bothers other people about it so much. Unless we're talking about people cooking with their breast milk and then not mentioning this to the people eating the food. I mean, I'd eat it if they told me what was in there, but I'd sure as hell want to know I was doing so.
I'm afraid of swamp_dragon, for remembering this. Which I remembered too, but still. "How (and why) did you discover that thing about metal vibrators and cat's heads making a funny noise?"
Sargon and I were playing with an implement fresh out of the shipping package, seeing if the batteries worked. Tazendra, who'd come up to look at the box and maybe lay in it, was suddenly VERY KEEN on seeing what Sargon had in his hand. She sniffed it, wanted to rub her face on it, so he turned it on and pressed it against her head. You have NEVER seen a cat so offended.
I think wizwom speaks for all of us when he asks "So, how did you get started writing porn?"
I feel like this should be a really long answer, but it's not. It started simple: writing down brief fantasy-type short stories and Penthouse Letters style imaginary escapades for Sargon, when we had a long-distance relationship.
Holy crap.
I've been writing porn since I was 14.
The following question is brought to you by bifemmefatale who knows how to make 'em tough! "You're on death row and being served your last meal. What do you want to eat? Your prison happens to have an excellent chef well-versed in all cuisines."
A huge cheeseburger with everything on it, onion rings, and nuclear-hot apple pie with one scoop of vanilla ice cream. Frosty cold Coke. I'm the most boring person on Earth, I am sure, but I love American diner food.
frostedblossom wants to know: "Childfree/Childless vs. Childed legislation: what do you think of it, and how would you change it?" or "A subject/class(es) in school you absolutely loathed."
I concede that parents do need special consideration from time to time to take care of their kids, and I think we ought to cut them some slack.
That said, all employees should have the same access to time off and the same priority when bidding on weekday-only schedules or on holidays off. There are tons of childfree/childless people willing to take shitty shifts. Not all of us should be forced to if it comes down to a choice between someone with children and someone without.
I think that the government should extend more medical services to people without children, who fall into a nasty social-services gap. "Well-woman" care is easy enough to get, but non-gynecological care can be very difficult to obtain. Men are completely out of luck.
Without question it should be as easy to obtain sterilization as it is to obtain prenatal care, and illegal to deny it to anyone based on parental status.
I think it should be legal to establish adults-only residential areas, especially apartments, and in the private sector, more restaurants and theaters that did not admit children would be welcome.
I'm generally against legislation of any kind - laws are bullshit. Mostly, people ought to just pull their heads out of their asses and stop using their children as a way to get what they want. It's shameful, and it makes those of us without kids annoyed, resentful, and less likely to oblige on the occasions when a parent really does need something. Sadly, you can't pass a law that prevent people from crying "wolf."
As for school, I loathed math of all kinds. I failed algebra twice. I still hate math, and am proud of myself for knowing long division. I'm not stupid, not at all, but I'm terrible at anything that involves numbers.
the_lizard_rat asks a pointed question. Actually, it's sort of soft and squishy. "My question: You're beautiful enough to definitely pose for Playboy. So why not send them a few photos of yourself?"
I loathe Playboy, for one. Their centerfolds look the same now as they did 20 years ago, and they're still lame. Too perfect, too airbrushed. It's bullshit, and it doesn't flatter either the models or the consumer. It's insulting to everyone's intelligence. On the rare occasion when they do a celebrity layout, it's always the same: she's naked, sure, but she's also either sweaty-looking or fucking WET, like in a shower or a pool or something, and that's not a look I like. And it's usually black and white.
I'm not saying they don't feature some lovely women, or have good photographers, or produce some good-looking pictorials. They do. But overall, I just don't care for it.
Second, and I know I've said this before but I'll say it again until it sinks in, you lot only see the really good pictures in which I don't look like saggy, spotty hell. Most magazines are not going to be interested in me. I'm older than they want, shorter, heavier.
My face is more than pretty enough. The rest of me is too real to be ground up for the idealized artificial crap that skin mags peddle. And you know? I'm fine with that. Because I would hate to be in the same league, even tangentially, with silicone bimbos who lie about their weight.
Do they still put those little info sheets in the centerfold, where they get to fill it out themselves so you can see how fucking stupid they are? Can you even IMAGINE what I would say on one of those? I can't. My idea of a perfect date? My turn-ons? My life goals? What the fuck would I say to that shit? Ugh. It's so high school yearbook.
My best bet would be an art shoot with a good erotica photographer like Heather Corinna or something. And I'd be more than happy to do exactly that if I knew of anyone in my area who did that sort of thing well.
Leave it to marccarlson to ask: "Why?"
To see if I could, really. And as it turns out, mostly, I do okay.
That's part one, and I hopefully coded everyone's usernames properly. Another entry is coming later if I have time, and then the rest of the questions tomorrow.