How To Prepare For Cat Ownership.

[naamah_darling]

This is a list that has been years in the making. Years full of decapitated wildlife, destroyed valuables, ruined furniture, and things that go barf in the night. And now I present it to those of you contemplating cat ownership, so that you may be warned.

Numbers 1-5 come from dragonrider7 (with the exception of 1b). The rest are my own.

20 Steps To Cat

Comments

[sorscha]

Nice one ;)

[pagan_writes]

*Is dead from giggles* So true. Our current fuzzbut has also perfected the skill of hurling himself against the bathroom door until the faulty catch gives way, then casually pottering in and watching you pee (with his head on one side chirruping away curiously), or jumping onto the edge of the sink in an attempt to give you nose-kisses, losing his balance and saving himself from falling by ramming every available claw into your naked, vulnerable thighs, resulting in mongoose-howls or a wet foot depending on whether its me or the mister who's getting the 'extra attention'.

[naamah_darling]

The phrase "mongoose howls" has me cracking up. Seriously.

[pythia]

"9. Have a friend come in and vomit randomly on the carpet about once a week. If your floors are hardwood, have him vomit on the furniture or on any available papers or books."

Oh, mu tummy hurts from laughing.

[pythia]

Actually, my tummy hurts from laughing. Not mu tummy. *sigh*

[naamah_darling]

I see you know whereof I speak!

[naamah_darling]

See, that's the scary part. I've experienced every one of those things, too. And yet, I still love my cats, and I still couldn't live without them, even if there are nights LIKE TONIGHT when I'm damn close to skinning them out for rugs.

[maryavatar]

Oh God... hair grooming... my pal rivier's cat has a hair fetish. I have Big Scottish Hair, and the first time I met Riv's cat it burrowed into my hair and kinda humped my head. I always tie my hair up when I go to visit her now.

[maryavatar]

*dies*

Yep, that all sounds familiar. I also had to get used to peeing with a cat on my lap. We took the lock off the bathroom door because we have Spawn and Spawn + lockable doors = badness. I shut the door on them and I get the whole meowing and paws under the door thing, then *rumble rumble thump* and the door pops open, a cat leaps over the towel bin, bounces off the sink and lands, claws out, on my lap.

They scratch to get into the shower when I'm in there too, but as soon as I open the door to tell them to fuck off, they get splashed and go screaming out of there like I doused them in battery acid.

[naamah_darling]

>>They scratch to get into the shower when I'm in there too, but as soon as I open the door to tell them to fuck off, they get splashed and go screaming out of there like I doused them in battery acid.

And you'd think they'd learn after the first few times, wouldn't you? But NOOOO, not in this lifetime! XD

[maryavatar]

And they always look so shocked.

Hello, I'm in the box full of water. There's water in here. You can see it. You can smell it. Why is it surprising that the water comes out when I open the door?

[fractalgeek]

We have a small gap under the toilet door. Once in a while, a clawed leg extends underneath it and finds a toe.....

Bea used to have a habit of climbing onto my naked chest, pumping up and down for a little (got to knead to softness), then curling up asleep there - while I was lying in the bath

(typed while trying to keep Kester, our 18 3/4 year old ginger ex-tom amused with a feather duster)