Ow.
I went to help Dad go through Mom's clothes today. My sister's already been and weeded through for what she wanted, leaving me with all kinds of neat, pretty things. I agreed to come over later this week and help go through the medicine cabinet full of her vitamins and supplements, because it needs to be done, and I hate to think of him doing it
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It was easier to sort through my mother's effects than sit and think. In the days after her death, I couldn't stand to sit and think, and I couldn't stand to sit and watch the shocky, lost looks on the faces of my father and sister. I prodded them both into helping me sort through everything, then scrub the house from top to bottom.
During the memorial service, we kept it together because we had things to focus on. We were even able to crack jokes and made the priest laugh a few times.
It's when the work was done and there was nothing to distract us that the grief took over. Usually late at night, alone.
Cry when you need to, and when you feel able to bear it. When it's too much to handle, find ways to keep yourself busy and distracted.
Everyone handles grief in their own way, there's no "right" way to deal with it. I'd say you're doing as well as anyone possibly could.
It'll be eleven years in April and it still jumps up and hits me every now and then. People leave bits of their personality behind and sometimes we run across them in the most unexpected places.
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