The Gods Awaken (actually, they are dead, and rolling in their graves . . .)

[naamah_darling]

13) The Gods Awaken, by Allan Cole, 404 pagesThere are not words enough to express my loathing. Out of sheer spite, I as of this moment declare that the first two books, no matter what I said previously, are utter shite. Big, fat zeros. And this one . . . oh, this is the stuff that sticks to the side of a ferret’s litter pan and requires

Comments

[fiere]

The mental image of you sitting reading a book shrieking "Yes! Yes! Burn! DIE! ALL OF YOU FUCKING DIE!!!" just sent me into a hysteric fit of giggles.

Really.

It's stuff like this that gives me the urge to try to get some of my own stuff published. I mean, if this stuff sells, why the sod wouldn't mine?

[lemur_lady]

...the humorous image of the infested characters trying to relieve the itching of their spiritual ass-worms by scuttling across the carpet on their bare asses, like cats with poop stuck in their fur.

That was what set off the hysterical giggles for me :) Luckily neither of my officemates is around at the moment, and I was able to stifle myself enough that nobody else on my hall overheard and wondered what was so funny about software unit testing.

[naamah_darling]

Aaah. I'm so glad I made you laugh. I'll consider my suffering worth it. ;)

[fiere]

::snickers loudly::

[naamah_darling]

Yes, but it didn't seem funny at the time. I feel much better for having vented.

You write well enough line-by-line to get published, and ANYTHING you plotted would be more coherent than this gelid mass of walrus snot.

My advice? Write your ass off and show this git up before he publishes another book and forces me to hunt him down and kill him.

I have a cult, dammit! Can't I declare a fatwa and have my fanatics murder him?

ARRRGH!

[fiere]

And then we all get to reap the benefits of your labour - namely getting to giggle hysterically at your frustrated venting.

Maybe I will.

Yes!

...As long as you supply the weapons, that is.

[naamah_darling]

Weapons. Hmm.

Can we use a lamprey? Those things are nasty.

Failing that: flesh-eating scarabs like the ones in the Mummy movies. Those are always good for a laugh.

[fiere]

No, no, I want one of those spinny metal balls on a chain with a sawblade thing like Gogo had in Volume 1!

Can I wear a schoolgirl uniform too?

[naamah_darling]

::thinking::

Yeah! That thing totally ruled! What the Hell was it supposed to be? A yo-yo crossed with a mace? Who knows?

You know, I wonder if I still have my Catholic school uniform around.

Oh, well. Wouldn't fit, anyway. :P

[fiere]

I have no idea what it was either, but it certainly rocked.

...I'm almost tempted to ask you to loan it to me.

[naamah_darling]

I used to have 2 (one to wash, one to wear), but I don't know where they are. Now it's gonna bug me.

As soon as these @#!*&#% cramps stop, I'll go dig for them.

[fiere]

TAKE PICTURES.

[naamah_darling]

Heh. Of my cramps? Do a google search and find pictures of monkeys screaming. That's how it feels.

No, really. If I do find the outfits, I'll get pictures taken. I just don't think I'll get my dad to do it this time. That would be a little weird even for him. O_o

I may have to take the damn skirts in before I do it, though. I used to wear a 36-inch waist, but I've cut 7 inches off that. That's some major adjusting.

Or it'll have to be a hip-hugging pleated plaid skirt. And those tops are always really short, so they'd show my midriff.

THIS IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS.

[fiere]

Silly.

...How so? Schoolgirl uniforms are anything but wrong.

Ehehe.