Ahoy! Where's the Booty?
Okay. I realize that porn is, essentially, written primarily for an audience of one: the writer. If the author of the smut ain't gettin' turned on, ain't nobody gettin' turned on.
But for the love of all that is holy, do my predilections have to be so fucking laughably obvious? I swore to myself this was going to be a love story: sweet, straightforward, and simple, with only enough bondage and coercion to allow Our Dashing Hero to rescue Our Heroine at the dramatically appropriate moment. 17,000 words in (which is really, really late to have the sex just starting, by the way) and I realize that though I have sworn not to include any pirates in a plotline-affecting capacity, I am suddenly inundated with something almost as good: mercenaries. Which are like bandits, which are like pirates without a boat.
I swore I would not repeat myself, yet who is my Mary-Sue the girl going to use to relieve herself of her virginity?
The mercenary captain.
Well, color me fucking shocked here, people.
Actually, color me disgusted. That doesn't clash as badly with "ravished red" and "just-spanked pink."
I've stopped surprising myself. And when I quit doing that, I quit enjoying it as much.
Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to change things on the run like this, and the plot is actually quite fun, I'm just frustrated with myself. I have yet to write porn without a hunky bad guy. This one is a little sterner, a little meaner, but he's still very dashing, you know, and would just look great in the outfit-plus-scars ensemble. The big swordfight at the end? I want to write that scene right now.
Good God, people. What the Hell is wrong with me? I would have sworn my villain problem wasn't this bad. Next time, I'm going to give up and write the most self-indulgent bondage-riddled pirate porn imaginable. Maybe then I can write something without pirates in it!
Ugh. If it was supposed to be good, it wouldn't be NaNo, would it?
Belay the starboard wenches and slosh me with grog! It appears we be a third of the way through!
17,315 / 50,000
(34.6%)
But for the love of all that is holy, do my predilections have to be so fucking laughably obvious? I swore to myself this was going to be a love story: sweet, straightforward, and simple, with only enough bondage and coercion to allow Our Dashing Hero to rescue Our Heroine at the dramatically appropriate moment. 17,000 words in (which is really, really late to have the sex just starting, by the way) and I realize that though I have sworn not to include any pirates in a plotline-affecting capacity, I am suddenly inundated with something almost as good: mercenaries. Which are like bandits, which are like pirates without a boat.
I swore I would not repeat myself, yet who is my Mary-Sue the girl going to use to relieve herself of her virginity?
The mercenary captain.
Well, color me fucking shocked here, people.
Actually, color me disgusted. That doesn't clash as badly with "ravished red" and "just-spanked pink."
I've stopped surprising myself. And when I quit doing that, I quit enjoying it as much.
Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to change things on the run like this, and the plot is actually quite fun, I'm just frustrated with myself. I have yet to write porn without a hunky bad guy. This one is a little sterner, a little meaner, but he's still very dashing, you know, and would just look great in the outfit-plus-scars ensemble. The big swordfight at the end? I want to write that scene right now.
Good God, people. What the Hell is wrong with me? I would have sworn my villain problem wasn't this bad. Next time, I'm going to give up and write the most self-indulgent bondage-riddled pirate porn imaginable. Maybe then I can write something without pirates in it!
Ugh. If it was supposed to be good, it wouldn't be NaNo, would it?
Belay the starboard wenches and slosh me with grog! It appears we be a third of the way through!
17,315 / 50,000
(34.6%)